Harry speaks with Rodolphus Lestrange and his sister. Emmeline Vance is captured by the Death Eaters.
nice... but harry is an idiot... whilst i believe that to be true in cannon... i had hoped in fanfic, he would grow a brain....
whats happenign with the kiss?
this chapter does not make sense, first you have Rodolphus talking to Harry, and not trying to kill him then you have him attacking Vance. just doesn't make sense
The whole story doesn't make much sense, you are jumping from left to right and forget to put links that might help us understand what exactly is happening.
Furthermore your characters jump from being stupid to being intelligent all of the time as shown by the actions and reactions they have.
While the story in itself isn't that bad it is confused as if you weren't exactly aware of what personality you wanted to give your actors.
What an excellent start to a well written, original story!
I do hope you are continuing this, as it is considerably better than the majority of fanfics.
Your building this up so well!
You have to update soon, I mean its been 2 years!
Please update! I love it when we see an even darker Dumbles who hoodwinks everyone!
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