Categories > TV > X-Files

Pleasure To Meet You

by TanzyMorrow 2 reviews

Ah, the Alternate Universe story. Always a popular form of temporary insanity. Well, I went one better. I changed -two- things instead of one! Muhahahaha! Uh, right... Gender issues are fun. One ...

Category: X-Files - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Characters: Mulder, Scully - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2005-05-09 - Updated: 2005-05-09 - 1002 words - Complete

Disclaimer: No, X-Files are not mine. Mulder and Scully are not mine. Simple, to the point, and basic. Isn't this just a boring disclaimer?


Special Agent Scully paused at the closed door of his new partner's office and sniffed in disdain. Not only was it on the lowest level of the J. Edgar Hoover building but he had heard that it had once been a copier room. As for his new partner... Well, he had heard some pretty odd stories about "Spooky" Mulder. Not all of them could possibly be true but enough of them probably were. If that one about Shakespeare's grave was true... He grimaced and squared his shoulders resolutely before knocking briskly on the door. His frown deepened when he was answered by a voice. "No one here but the FBI's most unwanted! Come on in!"

Hesitantly, he pushed the door open and entered the small office. The cluttered space immediately seemed oppressive and he looked around with apprehension. One wall was completely hidden by metallic grey filing cabinets, their overstuffed drawers hanging open. Posters, calendars, post-it notes, and cork boards covered the other walls. Scully couldn't help it; he rolled his eyes at one of the posters, prominently placed and emblazoned with the words "I want to believe!". All of these warred for his attention but he focused instead on the hunched figure studying slides on a light board at a desk buried under paperwork. The office, the desk, it was all as he had imagined. A messy obsession. He found himself wondering what had happened to make Agent Mulder so... Odd. Dimly, he recalled someone mentioning an abduction in the family. A brother or a sister? Scully frowned. Agent Mulder probably blamed it on aliens.

Scully turned his gaze to his new partner who seemed oblivious to his presence. Brownish hair, thin, small wire glasses pushed down on the nose, not wholly unattractive... Suddenly, Agent Mulder looked up and smiled brightly. "Hello."

Scully returned a dimmer copy of the smile. "Hello, Agent Mulder. I'm..."

"Special Agent William Scully, I know." A hand was extended for a quick, firm handshake. "You're a medical doctor, graduated top of your class at Quantico, teach there now, and did your undergrad work in physics." Miraculously, Mulder produced a document in a plastic cover from under a nearby pile of papers. "You like blue," Mulder added before reading the report's title aloud. "'Einstein's Twin Paradox : An Alternative Interpretation'. Sorry I haven't read it yet. It took longer than I expected to get a copy sent here. Red tape is torment."

"I hope you enjoy it, Agent Mulder," William replied. At least Mulder did thorough work.

"Samantha or Sam, please. I get nervous when people use only my last name, Bill." She held up a bag that she had fished from behind a stack of books and offered it to him. "Pumpkin seeds?"

"No, thank you." William waved away the bag. "And I'd really rather it if you called me Scully."

Sam shrugged. "If you insist." There was an awkward pause as the new partners studied each other. Finally, Sam turned back to her desk and drew attention to the slides there. "So what do you think?" she asked softly.


"These." An exasperated sigh slid from between her lips.

"Oh." Obediently, Scully peered at them. "And?"


Twenty minutes later, Sam pushed her chair away from her desk abruptly and stood. "This isn't going to work, William Scully," she announced quietly. She gazed at him a bit sadly for a moment before continuing as she crossed to the door, "I'll speak to AD Skinner about finding you a more suitable assignment. We can't work together." She opened the door and finished calmly, "We're too different, our ideas will never mesh, and, frankly, you're too narrow-minded and pathetic for me to even bother converting. But it's been nice meeting you and I wish you luck in your next assignment."

Scully stared at her gape-mouthed, disbelieving what she said. "Are you? Are you dismissing me?" he stuttered.

She nodded. "I'm afraid so."

"But... But why?"

Sam sighed. "I just told you," she replied patiently as if she were speaking to a very slow five-year-old. "We can't work together."

"You called me pitiful and narrow-minded!" Scully argued. His face began to glow an angry red.

"No, I didn't," Sam said kindly. "I said you are pathetic." She raised a hand to halt his impending outburst. "Nothing personal. It's only that I find it very tiring to work with people who doubt for doubt's sake. In fact, I also find it pointless. I'm afraid that your beliefs, or lack thereof, put you in that category..." Suddenly, she paused. "Are you religious, Scully?" she asked abruptly.

"Yes, I'm Catholic but I don't see..."

Sam smiled triumphantly. "Exactly. That's why we can't work together. Now. Good-bye."

Scully resisted her efforts to move him out the open door. "Because I'm Catholic?" he yelped.

"Not at all. It's because you don't see. Being Catholic is just a symptom to you. Your voice told me that you don't look at your choice of religion. Your parents are Catholic so you are, too. You don't see." She motioned towards the door. "It's really best to break this off now before we kill each other," she added gently. "Good-bye, William Scully. It's been... Interesting."

Grumbling, Scully stormed out of the office and Sam shut the door after him. Then she leaned her back against it and slumped downwards. "Well, that was a wash," she sighed. Slowly, she crossed back to her desk, sat down, and put her feet up. "So no Bill. Hmm. I wonder who they'll send down next. Shame I can't convince Byers to sign on. Maybe I can get Skinner to hand over Danny Pendrell..."
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