Categories > Games > Final Fantasy 7 > The Pursuit of Pleasure

Stage Four: Resolution

by Ardwynna 0 reviews

Is Seph ever going to get some?

Category: Final Fantasy 7 - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Characters: Aeris Gainsborough, Barret Wallace, Cid Highwind, Cloud Strife, Red XIII, Sephiroth, Tifa Lockhart, Vincent Valentine, Yuffie Kisaragi - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2005-12-31 - Updated: 2005-12-31 - 2612 words

Warning: By continuing to read you accept full responsibility for the consequences of your actions. The author denies all liability for any condition that may result from exposure to the deviance in this chapter.

Thanks to Woodstock for pointing the way to the doujinshi.

The Pursuit of Pleasure

Stage Four: Resolution

"Ooh," Tifa hiked her laden basket up. "There's that vanilla cinnamon lotion I've been looking for. I couldn't find it in Midgar for the life of me!" She popped the bottle into the basket.

Yuffie held up a jar of apricot scrub. "Is this stuff any good?"

Aeris took a look around, a little disappointed. "If only this place sold flavored lube. Then my shopping would be complete." The other two women stared at her.

Yuffie blinked. "That stuff comes in flavors?"

Tifa giggled and put her arm around the teenager. "You have much to learn, grasshopper." She then proceeded to enlighten Yuffie about the wide range of flavors, colors, scents and novelty features available in the world of adult toys and accessories.

Aeris drifted over to the front of the store when the lecture ran overlong. There was a crowd gathering at the newsstand outside. She squinted at the newspaper everyone seemed eager to get. Her basket fell when she saw the headline. Somehow, someone had tossed the General (and his mighty soldier) in the slammer.

Tifa and Yuffie looked around. "Something the matter, Aer?" Tifa asked.

Aeris turned around, livid. "That bastard Sephiroth went and got himself arrested last night!"

Tifa huffed. "That explains a few things."

Yuffie was a bit confused. "Sephiroth getting arrested is a bad thing?"

Aeris straightened up. If Sephiroth had gotten himself carted off to the lockup, then maybe he had not abandoned her out of spite. In fact, if there was someway to get him out, there might be some chance they could still do the grown-up hokey pokey together. She stormed out of the store with one thing on her mind.

Yes, that thing.


Barret slammed his fist against the door. "Spike! Open up, you little blond dumbass! There's some serious shit going down!"

There was no answer. Cid lit himself another cigarette. "Maybe he went out."

"Goddammit!" Barret backed off from the door. Vincent leaned in a little, then stepped back in alarm.

"He's still in there," he murmured. "We should not...intrude on him."

Cid looked interested. "Is Blondie getting dirty in there?" Vincent backed up until he hit the far wall.

"Just wait for him to open the door himself. That's all I'm saying."

There was some loud stomping on the stairs. The men turned to see the girls rushing towards them.

"Where's Cloud?" Aeris demanded.

"Whoa, easy, little lady," Cid stopped her with a little shove to the shoulder. "You heard about Sephiroth?"

"What about Sephiroth?" Red asked slinking his way up the stairs and around the corner. He was licking his whiskers in a most satisfied manner. Anyone would have said the cat had gotten some cream.

Yuffie leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath. "He's in jail."

"Really, now?" Red sat down. "Does Cloud know?"

Barret waved his arm at the door. "We're trying to tell him but he won't open up. We're about to bust the door down."

Red swiveled his ears towards the door. His one eye widened in alarm and he shrunk back to join Vincent in quaking against the wall. "Don't go in yet. Just trust me on this."

With two members of the group advocating the patience of angels, they waited and waited and waited a little while more. Cid flicked the ashes off his third cigarette. Okay, so it had not really been that much of a wait. Cid was just a really fast smoker. "Been a hell of a wait," he grumbled. "Isn't Cloud done doing...whatever the hell he's doing in there yet?"

"No," Red and Vincent squeaked together and huddled down on the floor.

"Oh please," Tifa approached the door, certain that there was no way Cloud could have that kind of stamina. "I've had enough of this waiting. I'm going in!"

Before anyone could stop her, she took aim and kicked the door in. Cloud shrieked inside. "What are you doing, woman? You don't bust in on a man's private time!"

"Oh, come off it, Cloud." She strode in with no care at all for his feelings on the matter. "It's nothing I didn't see that time in Nibelheim when you fell off the roof and your pants got snagged on the guttering on the way down."

Everyone else entered more cautiously. Everyone but Red and Vincent anyway. They both sat on the floor outside and the former Turk kept making the sign of the cross and whispering something about abomination.

Barret nearly tripped on something that was trying to sneak out the doorway as he entered. "What the...Cait Sith, what the hell you doing here?"

"Um," Cloud mumbled, "He was um, uh, he was helping me...polish my sword." He gestured wildly over to large gleaming sword in the corner in an attempt to distract everyone while he plopped a pillow over his lap. No one was fooled. Cait Sith grinned sheepishly at the crowd and squeaked a little as he tried to hide his megaphone behind his back.

Cid choked on his cigarette. Barret turned to Cloud. "Boy, I know the mako done messed your brain, but that is beyond sick!"

"Never mind that," Aeris strode forward. "All SOLDIERS are deviants in one way or another. Take my word on it. We have more important business."

"Straight up," Tifa joined her. "Cloud, Sephiroth was arrested yesterday. He's in the slammer right here in this town."

Cloud blinked. "He is?" He blinked some more. "Well, good. One less thing for us to worry about."

This did not suit Aeris' libido at all. Fortunately, Cloud was notoriously susceptible to suggestion. "Cloud," she began, "jail can't hold him. When he gets himself together he's just going to torch the place." She approached the bed slowly with a look of schooled concern and innocent shock on her face. "It'll be Nibelheim all over again, Cloud."

"It will?" Cloud asked.

"Yes, Cloud," Aeris knelt carefully near him. "You're the only one who can stop him." She leaned in closer so nobody else could hear. "You're the only one with the right to stop him."

Cloud sat up straight in the bed. "You're right!" he declared. "I have to break him out!"

Aeris had other ideas. "Don't cause a scene, Cloud. There's enough trouble with the arrest on the front pages already. Shinra might already be on its way."

Cloud nodded. "Then we have to get him out of that jail as quickly and painlessly as possible to avoid a disaster. Get me a phone! We need a good lawyer!" He tossed the sheets aside and sprung from the bed.

Everyone shrieked and turned away. Barret yelled, "Boy, what you need is some pants!"


In the meantime, Sephiroth was languishing in the lockup with his head still on Lucille's lap. He had a very bad headache and just did not feel up to conjuring a fireball to end all fireballs just yet. The steadily approaching footsteps in front of the cell did nothing to improve matters. The cell gate creaked and clanged, but Sephiroth did not look up.

"Rise and shine, handsome," Officer Bransen called out. "You're free to go." Sephiroth did not move so Bransen called out again. "Hey, Tall, Pale and Beautiful, you're getting out of here. Looks like somebody yanked all the right chains just for you."

Lucille nudged Sephiroth's shoulder. "He's talking to you, little jailbird." Sephiroth sat up slowly. There were two elderly men in suits behind Officer Bransen.

"What happened?" Sephiroth asked.

One of the men entered and held a small business card forward. "Sir, we're with the law office of Wankett and Spuje. A Mr. Cloud Strife came to us on your behalf and well, let's just say arrangements have been made. We'll see to settling the matter. You're free to go."

Sephiroth stood with a frown. "I didn't know Cloud had enough money on him for fancy lawyers."

The other man fidgeted. "Well, no, we've made agreement of another kind. We help you in exchange for some...valuable services." Sephiroth decided the less he knew, the better. He waved to a grinning Lucille and walked out of the cell.

Officer Bransen ushered him past the hooting ruffians in the other cells. "Exit is this way."

Sephiroth stopped. "I had a sword when I came in." Bransen nodded.

"Right, right, sorry." He led Sephiroth to the back room and shut the door quietly behind them. "Take a look around. I know it was dragged in at some point and all belongings are held in here."

Sephiroth had always been able to see very well in the dark so he did not really notice just how dim the little room was. He looked high and low for the Masamune and nearly tripped over the handle. Apparently it had been too heavy for anyone to lift, so it had just been shoved as far under the shelves as it would go. "Damn," Sephiroth mumbled and got down on his knees to yank the thing out. Bransen stood behind him, enjoying the view.

Having retrieved his weapon, Sephiroth stood up and turned around to find Bransen a little too close for comfort. He jumped back and rattled the shelves. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Bransen closed in a few inches. "Saying my goodbyes."

Just then the door swung open and bright light flooded the room. Officer Smythe stood there with Lucille right behind her. Bransen stepped back, frowning.

"Guess what, little jailbird," Lucille grinned. "My gang got me out too. Come on, I'll give you a ride out of town." Sephiroth was only too happy to accept.

He looked at the business card the lawyer had given him while Lucille got his things. He had thought it was a card for the firm, but instead it was for a certain Gilded Lily Motel on the edge of town. Someone had scribbled a tiny letter 'A' in the corner. Sephiroth did not even dare to hope.

"Let's get movin', jailbird," Lucille said. They walked out to the impound lot. "My Jessica should be around somewhere." Sephiroth squinted in the daylight and looked out for a biker chick but there was no one around at all. Lucille spotted something and ran ahead. "There she is!" Sephiroth could only follow.

There in front of them, was the biggest, heaviest, most tricked-out hot pink motorcycle Sephiroth had ever seen. "That's Jessica?" he squeaked, not meaning to offend.

"Ain't she just beautiful?" Lucille was glowing with pride. Sephiroth only nodded. Lucille hopped on and tossed Sephiroth the spare helmet. "Hop on, buddy, and tell me where you wanna go!"

They rode off down the side streets with Sephiroth's hair flying like a silver flag behind them. They went by so fast they did not notice the two old women who were making their way back to the precinct with a fresh pie in hand.

"Oh dear," Irene said. "I think that was our boy. Looks like he got out without us."

"Great," Ethel grumbled. "And I was really looking forward to a hot beef injection."

Irene shrugged. "Well, since we're already on our way to the police, how about we pay a visit to that nice young Bransen boy? He might be willing to trade some hot buns for the pie."

Ethel shook her head. "I don't know, Irene. I get the feeling that boy's not much of a cat lover."


On a half-dead hope, Sephiroth had Lucille drop him off at the motel. He wandered into the lobby, tired, depressed and thoroughly worn out.

"I'm glad you made it," Aeris said quietly. "You had quite an adventure."

Sephiroth sighed. "If you want to call it that."

"I read about it in the paper," Aeris said. Sephiroth did not answer. Aeris did not like his mood, but she hoped that it was only his spirit that was flagging. "I got us a room," she said. "Maybe we can finally complete our transaction."

Sephiroth shrugged but let her lead him to the small room. There was one bed, just big enough, a small table with a microwave, a chair and a narrow door that led to the bathroom. Sephiroth's coat was folded neatly over the back of the chair.

"I brought your things," Aeris said, reaching into her small pack. She fished out a little box and smiled knowingly at Sephiroth. "I got the latex socks too."

"Thanks for going through the trouble," the General said.

"Don't be," Aeris chirped. "I bought 'em with your money."

Sephiroth flopped down on the bed. "Aeris," he began. "I'm sorry. I know you're looking forward to it but it's been a rough day. I'm just not feeling...up to it." He fell backwards and looked away with a melancholy sigh.

Aeris sighed. It was to be expected, she supposed. She sat on the bed and considered her options. She had come that close to getting a bit of the finest creamsicle on the Planet, but now, there was nothing. Why? Because the big, bad General was too blue to fire the cannon. Well, there was nothing much to be done, she supposed.

"I've got instant noodles, if you're hungry," she murmured. In a way, she had led him into the whole mess. She could at least feed him before she tossed him into the street. Sephiroth nodded slowly so she went over to her pack and took out a noodle cup. She popped it into the microwave and sat silently with Sephiroth while the thing cooked.

Sephiroth stared up at the ceiling. He supposed he should be glad that the girl was not too mad at him for turning her down. It was shame really. "Hey, Aeris, why did Cloud decide to get me out of jail all of a sudden?"

Aeris shrugged. "I talked him into it. He's not very bright, after all."

Sephiroth laughed a bit. "What's he doing now, anyway?"

"My guess is working off your legal fees."

"Eww," Sephiroth grimaced. He lay back and considered his own options. Here was a hot young woman with a mind almost as deviant and manipulative as his own. Their eyes met across the distance and both thought about the possibility that this could be the one that was forever and ever.

Then the microwave dinged.

Aeris got up to fetch the noodles. She peeled back the lid. "Watch out. It's hot." She pursed her lips and blew gently into the cup to cool its contents. Sephiroth sat up. His eyes were glued the sight. There was something just thrilling about watching Aeris blow his hot noodle, he thought, and Mr. Masamune agreed with him. He reached out and grabbed Aeris' wrist.


"You know what, Aeris?" Sephiroth took the cup out of her hand and set it down on the table. "I'm not really hungry. Well, not for noodles anyway."

"Oh?" Aeris arched one eyebrow. "What do you want?"

"I was thinking maybe something a little more...filling. You know, like steak and seafood."

Aeris grinned at him.

The door was locked.

They had a bed.

They had time.

They had protection.

Who needed forever?

They shared a wicked look, took each other by the hand and walked over to the bed.

And finally, they danced to the beat of the primal rhythms all night long.

The End
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