Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco

Gaining A Love, Not A Lover

by ficfriction 6 reviews

(Sequel to A Much Needed Tryst) [Ryan/OFC] Why is Pete being so nice to Jessy now? "If that's what you want baby..."

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Crossover,Drama,Romance - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2007-09-17 - Updated: 2007-09-17 - 4587 words - Complete

"Miss me?"

"How could I not?"

Jessy buried her face in the crook of Ryan's neck and shoulder as they embraced each other in the confines of Ryan's bunk. They had a movie playing in his bunk's DVD player to have an actual reason for her being there with him, but the movie was forgotten as they enjoyed each other's embrace. She could hear the background noise of the movie as he ran his fingers through her light chocolate-colored hair, making her sigh softly.

"How have you been?"

All the crap that had gone on in the past five days since their tryst had rattled her greatly since her and Pete had fought the day after and she was sure he had found out; which he hadn't. Things had been tense between them since, except for when he was trying to get in her pants. And when she rejected him he'd get pissed off and leave the bunk. When she found him, every time she found him on his phone in the front of the bus, complaining about her, but she didn't say anything to him. And earlier, before she was about to ask if he cared if she went to watch a movie with Ryan, as friends only of course, he grabbed his phone and when he flipped it open, all she saw was his background before he acted like someone was calling him.

She shrugged slightly as she snuggled further into Ryan's embrace. "I've been alright I suppose."

He rubbed the small of her back softly, enjoying the sheer closeness of the woman he was growing to love every time they met up. He lifted his head as she shifted to where her face was partially buried in his chest and for a brief moment he caught glimpse of the serene smile she had. It brought a smile to his own face as he inhaled the sweet strawberry scent of her hair.

"I wish you could stay on my bus with me," he whispered as he slowly nuzzled the top of her head. "But then he'd get too suspicious..."

Jessy gave a soft sigh and slowly nodded. "I wish I could too... I wish I could stay with you."

Her emphasis on the word, "you," brought an ear to ear smile to his face as she gave his chest a soft kiss. He reduced the smile to a smaller one as she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. Knowing what the look in her eyes meant, he moved his face closer to hers and kissed her softly, sighing quietly when she returned the kiss. He closed his eyes as he moved a hand to her side, rubbing softly.

The kiss stayed soft and slow as they slowly caressed the bodies of one another. Neither wanted this to go very far, it was obvious by the way they kept the kiss soft together, all they wanted was to be close to know the other was definitely there and that this wasn't a dream. She couldn't believe she felt like this in someone's arms, while he was having trouble believing she was actually in his arms, even if only temporarily.

- - - - -

"Jessy... Jessy baby wake up..."

She groaned softly as she rubbed her eyes and then opened them, blinking to clear her vision. "Pete?" She blinked again as her vision clear and Pete smiled at her. "Did I fall asleep?"

He nodded and helped her out of the middle bunk. "Yeah, Ryan said you fell asleep halfway through the movie but he thought you looked tired so he didn't wake you." He kissed her softly and smiled when she returned it, unaware a vision of Ryan had unwillingly crossed her mind. "You even slept through the concert, is everything okay?"

She covered her mouth as a yawn interrupted what she was about to say, the action making Pete chuckle. "I'm feeling a little ill, but I'll be alright hon."

"You sure? When we get to the hotel I can send someone to get you something from the store or something," he offered as he led her to the front of the bus where she gave a sad smile to Ryan and left with Pete.

"I'm sure..."


They went in silence to his band's bus, no more need to put on a show until they were infront of his band. On the bus he played loving and doting boyfriend as the bus made it's way to the hotel. She could see through the disguise though, how he wanted to go make some call. When they got on the bus he took her hand in his, giving it a small kiss before leading her to the bunk where he let her crawl in before he did so and shut the curtain.

"Have fun over there? Til you fell asleep?"

She nodded. "I spose, I need to get that movie off of him so I can watch it all the way through," she said with a small chuckle as he pulled her into his arms. The act confused her since it didn't contain the normal stiffness that was there, the act was almost caring. In that moment the feelings for him she was trying to push away returned full force and she snuggled into his chest as he rubbed the small of his back.

"Want me to get it for you? Your own? If you end up liking it that is?" He kissed the top of her head and held her closer.

"You know I don't like you buying me things," she said softly as her eyes closed.

"Yeah, but you know I like to," he chuckled softly.

"I'll get it myself if I like it. I don't like you spending your money on me hon."

"Okay baby."

As a comfortable silence fell upon them, she wondered why he was acting like an actual boyfriend to her, even with the curtain closed. Usually about now he was aching to go make a call, aching to find a way away from her, or doing something to make her push him away. Why did he want her attention now? Should she really look this gift horse in the mouth? She decided not to as she placed a soft kiss on his chest and yawned softly.

"Tired angel?" When she nodded slowly, Pete kissed the top of her head again. "Go to sleep, I'll wake you up at the hotel, okay?" Jessy nodded and relaxed into Pete's arms as he continued to rub her back. He looked down at her and when she was finally asleep, he slipped out of the bunk and stretched as Andy and Patrick approached him, pulling him into the back room.

"What the Hell are you doing Pete?" Patrick demanded quietly, being careful so Jessy could sleep.

"What are you talking about?" Pete asked, playing the innocent card.

"I don't know Panders," Andy asked, using the nickname Ashlee had used before he had bent his head and kissed her, "why don't you tell us?"

Patrick shook his head when he saw Pete flinch at the recognition. "Yeah, we know what's going on Pete. If you hurt Jessy, I swear to God man... She loves you, and she treats you better than any other chick you've had. Why are you doing this to her?"

"She's not going to find out," Pete said with a sigh. "I'm ending it soon."

"Pete, this is fucked up," Andy said. "Why did you even start?"

"It started out as a drunken thing, but after that, I'm sorry man, but Ash is everything Jessy isn't."

"Then you should have broken it off with Jess before you even kissed Ashlee. I mean, why would you even want an obvious skank!?"

"Don't fucking talk about her like that," Pete growled, grabbing Patrick by his shirt collar.

Patrick glared at him before he looked at him with pure disappointment as he pulled his shirt free. "Fucking pig," he said as he pushed past him and out of the room when Joe called for him up front.

Andy shook his head and followed after him, leaving Pete on his own.

Pete sighed and followed after them when he heard Joe yell that they were at the hotel. He got back in the bunk and slid his arm around Jessy, kissing her forehead softly. "Jess, wake up..."

She lifted her head and opened her eyes to give him a sleepy smile. "Are we there?"

"Yep. Come on," he said as he slid out of the bunk and stretched as if he had been laying there the whole time.

"Pete, do you think I could stay on the bus so you don't get sick?"

Pete looked at her, obviously confused. "If that's what you want baby, but you know you don't have to worry about that. I can just get some Airborne if it bothers me..."

"I'd feel better if I weren't worried about getting you sick baby."

Pete smiled and slid his arms around her, kissing the top of her head, unaware of the dual glares Andy and Patrick were sending his way. He pulled back and smiled slightly at her. "If you really want to stay here, I won't make you come with. Is your cell charged incase you need me for something?"

Jessy nodded. "Yeah, but since the bus is parking away from here I don't think I'll be bothering you," she smiled as she slid away from him and curled up to his pillow, smiling at him. She watched as Pete, Andy, Joe, and Patrick walked off of the bus, leaving her alone. She looked out the window in Pete's bunk as the bus pulled away from the hotel to drive to its parking spot in a nearby mall parking lot. From the road it would look like a tourist bus and would be safe.

Jessy got out of Pete's bunk and went to the empty bunk, stretching out in it. His Tag was suffocating her, and he seemed to be wearing it more at stops. Hotels, concerts, but never gas stations or piss breaks, or long stretches on the road. When he text message sound went off, she looked at the message.

-Why aren't you at the hotel?- The message was from Ryan, she quickly recognized the number. -Is everything okay?-

-I told Pete I was sick, to explain why I passed out during our movie. So I'm staying on the bus, to make it look like I'm avoiding getting him sick- She replied back, shifting to get more comfortable.

-Oh... Where's the bus?-

-Just pulled into a parking lot. I think it's a mall lot-


As she pressed the button to reply to his message, her phone rang and his number flashed across her Called ID screen. She chuckled as she answered. "You never were one for a lot of texting."

"Nah, takes too long," came a soft reply. "So, are you staying there all night?"

"I don't know, probably."

"Want any company? So you won't have to be alone out there?"

Jessy smiled, but shook her head. "Nah, I'll be fine. I might end up catching a cab to the hotel if I get bothered out here."

"Well, if you end up coming back, Pete's in room five sixty-eight."

"Thanks Ryan, I appreciate it."

"Hey, anything for you Jessy."

She smiled more since she could hear the smile and sincerity in his voice. "I think I'm going to crash for a little bit, alright?"

"Okay. Bye beautiful."

"Bye Ryan."

- - - - -

She woke up to darkness and snuggled into the pillow that was temporarily her own. The only noises she could hear were those of the wind brushing against the bus and the bus driver snoring somewhere in the bus. She slid out of the bunk, her feet touching the hard floor of the bus. She walked up front and looked at the digital clock above the microwave, seeing it was only a couple hours later, making it 2:10 in the morning. She grabbed her shoes and pulled them on, and grabbed her wallet, sliding it into her jeans. She grabbed her phone and slid it in her pocket, searching out the soft snores of the bus driver. With much guilt she gently woke him and in a quiet voice asked him nicely to open the doors and let her off.

She gave him a moment to gather himself and leave the bunk, both walking up front as she gave an apology and left the bus when he let her out. She looked around before calling 411 for the number of a local cab company, hoping there was a twenty-four hour cab service. Being lucky enough to find one, she told the dispatch where she was and leaned against the bus, waiting patiently.

She slid her hands into her pockets, fiddling with her phone in one hand, the other hand remaining still as she yawned and looked around for any sign of her cab. Shivering in the winds, she wondered if it was cold in Pete's hotel room like always. If so, she was sleeping in the hoodie that smelled the least like Tag.

Nearly half an hour went by before a car pulled into the parking lot and started driving the opposite direction of what she and the bus were in. She saw the light on top of the car, signaling it as a cab, and she looked at the bus, then at the cab again, wondering how in the Hell they had missed the sight of a big maroon bus with silver tribal stripes. She shook her head and when they went around the parking lot, disappearing behind the mall for a little bit, she looked over as the cab pulled up and asked if she was the one waiting.

She got in and told the cab where to go, and then snuggled into his seats as the cab pulled out of the parking lot and made it's way through the city.

"So, you in town for long?"

She looked up at the sound of a Russian accent, one she wasn't use to hearing in cabs. "No," she said, shaking her head. "Only tonight, then I'm off again."

The man driving nodded. "Where are you headed to next?"

"You know, I don't even know," she said with a small laugh that made him smile. "I'm just tagging along with my friends and my boyfriend on their road trip. They know all the stops, I only know then when they happen." She laughed softly again as she thought about it. Hearing it sounded kind of funny to her.

The driver laughed as they pulled up to the hotel. "I hope you have a safe road trip young lady."

"Thank you sir," she smiled as she looked at the meter and from her wallet handed him $46 for a $11 trip. "Have a good night."

"Thank you miss, you too."

She got out of the cab and waved him off before she walked inside and went to the elevator, getting in before the doors closed. She nodded to the person in the elevator car with her and pressed the button for the fifth floor. Time seemed to drag as the car moved slowly, stopping at the third floor to let off the person in the car with her, and then finally stopping to let her off on the fifth floor. She walked down the hall, reading room numbers, stopping her tracks when she heard Pete yelling.

"I thought you said you were on the pill!?" His screaming was loud and clear through the hotel door.

"I am, but the pill's not a guarantee Pete," came a voice unknown to her. "I told you we should be safe and wear condoms, but who was it that said it would be fine since I was on the pill? Oh yeah... IT WAS YOU!"

"Don't you fucking yell at me Ashlee!"

"You fucking hypocrite you started yelling first! You're just mad at me because we fucked and you knocked me up! You weren't the one trying to be careful and now you've gotten me pregnant behind your girlfriend's back!"

A door opened behind her and she turned around, tears in her eyes, to see Joe who was obviously woken up by the yelling. He frowned when he saw her and opened his mouth to speak, but with a shaky hand she cut him off, wanting to hear the rest of what had to be said.

"How the fuck do I even know it's mine?"

"Pete! You dumb fuck! You're the only guy I'm sleeping with right now!"

She looked at Joe, who was now beside her, his hand on her shoulder. "Did you know about this?" She whispered. She frowned when he shook his head and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Snapped Pete, close to the door incase he had to open it.

"Joe. Dude your fighting woke me up. I think you should come out here."

"Not now Joe, Jessy and I are having an argument."

She clenched her hand, as tears fell down her cheeks, and knocked on the door. "My name, is NOT Ashlee. Get out here Peter."

The door unlocked and slowly opened and she came face-to-face with a guilty-looking Pete. She glared at him and pushed past him, needing to see Ashlee for herself. She looked at Pete after she saw Ashlee sitting on the only bed in the room, looking scared and guilty to be see in the room with Jessy's boyfriend.

"You've been cheating on me..."

"Jessy, I was going to end it tonight and then she-"

"SHUT UP!" Jessy screamed, making Pete cringe and shut his mouth, as well as making Joe run to get Patrick and Andy, knowing he would need help if they got into a fight. "How long have you been cheating on me Pete, how long?"

Pete sighed and lowered his head. "About four months..."

"You've been leading me on for four months?" As the words slipped from her mouth, everything started clearing up in her head and she was feeling really foolish. The Tag to cover up her perfume, quiet phone calls to her, always pushing her off on people at concert stops. She looked at Ashlee. "Did he come to you or did you come to him?"

"Leave her out of this Jess."

Jessy stared at Ashlee for a moment before she turned to look at Pete, her body shaking now. Before Pete could react her hand flew into his face, turning his head from the impact. A bright red hand print was already showing as she let out a small choked sob.

"Don't you dare stand up for her Pete. You've been cheating on me with her," she paused to point back at Ashlee without looking at her, "she KNEW about me, KNEW we were together, and she still fucked you. I believe she's already in this." She looked at Ashlee as Joe returned with Andy and Patrick. "Which. Was. It?"

"It was us hanging out... It happened in a mutual way, not a one-sided beginning at all," Ashlee replied, looking down. She'd never met Jessy before, but now that she had, she wished she hadn't started anything with Pete. She felt sorry for Jessy already.

Jessy turned and looked at Pete, seeing his band mates in the door way. She looked at him before looking at Patrick and Andy. "Joe didn't, but did you guys know anything about this?"

"We just found out today," Andy said softly, feeling like shit that she found out. "He said he was ending it, so we left it up to him to tell you."

"You... You should have told me Andy."

She shook her head as she looked at Pete, wiping away her tears. "It's over Pete... Even if you were ending it with her, you still did it. And if it went on for four months, you didn't care if I found out, you didn't care about me."

"Jessy, I do care-"

"Shut up. Don't even try it Pete... You know, I felt like shit, total SHIT because I had ONE fling behind your back, and it was recent. I felt like a total slut, a total bitch, I almost broke up with you because I felt so bad and didn't think I deserved you... But now, I see how uneven the scales were and I feel stupid for feeling like shit."

The news shocked everyone in the room, minus Ashlee since she was busy trying to picture herself somewhere else, and Pete's jaw dropped slightly. "You what?"

"I cheated on you, almost a week ago," she said, wiping away a stray tear. "And right about now, I'm kind of glad I did it. I'll be getting my bag off the bus when it's time to move to the next town." She said as she started out the door.

"Wh-Where are you going?"

She stopped and looked at him. "To his room," she said and took out her cell phone, pressing Ryan's speed dial number.

After a couple of rings, a slightly groggy voice answered the other line. "H'lo?"

"What room are you in?" She asked as she walked away from Pete's room.

"Um... I think four eleven... Yeah, four eleven, why?"

"Because I need to see you. Can I come?"

"Mhm, I'll see in a few."

She hung up and got on the elevator, not stopping the doors from shutting as she saw Patrick come to a stop in font of them as they had begun to shut. She shook her head as she hit the button for the fourth floor. She sniffled as her tears renewed themselves and begun running down her face again. When the doors opened up, she looked up to get off, only to see Ryan waiting there, his smile fading when he saw the tears.

"Jessy, what happened?" He asked as she hurried off the elevator and crashed into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbing her back as she broke down crying into his shirt. He murmured soft, soothing words to her, rocking her slowly. He didn't care if they were still in the hallway, she needed him right now.

When she finally calmed down some, she lifted her head and sniffled, letting Ryan wipe away her tears. "She's pregnant..."

Ryan frowned, not making the connection. "Who's pregnant hon?"

"Ashlee Simpson... Pete's been fucking her behind my back for four months and she's pregnant. They were arguing when I got to the room and I heard it all."

Ryan frowned as he helped her to his room where he laid down on his bed with her, holding her close to him. "I'm sorry you had to go through this Jessy... I'm sorry you even heard like that..."

She sniffled and slid an arm around his waist and unfolded the whole event, part of him wanting to smile when she told of the slapping. He wished he could have seen that. He frowned as she snuggled into his chest.

"Jessy, I... I knew."

Slowly she pulled back and looked up at him. "Wh-What?"

He gave her a guilty look, frowning as he looked her in the eyes. "I knew... I didn't know she was pregnant though."

"And why didn't you tell me? Why is that no one could tell me?" She pulled away from him and sat on the edge of his bed.

He got on his knees on the bed and went over to her, sitting on his heels beside her. "I don't know why Andy and Patrick didn't, but I didn't tell you because I couldn't stand to see you hurt. I wanted to avoid hurting you Jessy. I... I love you too much to want to see you cry from anything but happiness."

Jessy looked at him, the anger gone from her face, replaced by slight shock. "What did you say?"

"I love you too much to see you cry Jessy. I mean it."

"You love me?"

Ryan nodded slowly, looking into her eyes so she could see his emotions, a privilege very few people had. "I love you. I've had my eyes on you but I never moved in until I did because I thought you and Pete were happy. I started loving you a couple of months ago, before I found out he was cheating on you." He brought up a hand, softly cupping the side of her face. "You mean the world to me but I couldn't tell you he was being unfaithful to you, not when your eyes showed so much happiness when he showed you he cared."

Jessy stood and turned, facing him. She went over and laid down on his side of the bed, looking up at him. She snuggled into his arms and chest when he got the hint and laid down. "Can I stay with you guys on your bus? I want to finish out the tour with you."

Ryan smiled, glad he hadn't lost her like he was sure Andy and Patrick had lost her trust. "Of course you can. You know Brendon thinks you're cool. Plus, Jon and Spence like having you on the bus since you keep lil ole me out of their hair."

Jessy smiled as she kissed his chest softly. "Thank you Ryan... I really don't want to go home yet, not when this just happened."

Ryan gently tilted her chin, so she was looking up at him, and bent his head down, kissing her softly. Their eyes closed as he felt the kiss returned by her, a soft sigh escaping her. He slowly broke the kiss and smiled at her, and she smiled back as she kissed his chin. "Jessy?"

"Yes Ryan?" She snuggled into his chest again, yawning softly. Her little nap earlier was finally wearing off with all of the emotional drama that had been going on.

"I know you just broke up with Pete, but when you think you're ready to try dating someone else... Do you think, that maybe, you and I could give a relationship a chance?"

Jessy looked up at him, slightly confused. "Are you saying you're willing to wait for me?"

"Jessy I've already waited this long for you, I'll wait as long as you need." He softly stroked her cheek. "An amazing girl like you is definitely worth the wait."

Jessy turned her face into his soft touch and closed her eyes, relishing the moment before she opened her eyes and looked at him. "If you're willing to wait Ryan, I'll keep you in mind, when that time comes." With that said she closed her eyes and snuggled into his chest again as he rubbed the small of her back, resting his chin lightly on the top of her head.

Ryan gave a small smile as he held the woman he loved, knowing that if she ever gave him the chance, he would treat her far better than Pete ever did. Even if she never gave him a chance he would still be by her side as the friend she would need in her life.

[Author's Note: Yeps this is the sequel to A Much Needed Tryst, and there is a sequel to this one, only it's a multi-chapter story that's still in the works, so you all get to watch that one unfold bit by bit ^_^.]
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