Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Your Guardian Angel
So sorry for the long wait! I've just been real busy with school and work! I hope I made up for it though with this extra long chapter! Thank you to everyone who reviewed!
Montauk (Mahn-tawk)
"Montauk"- Bayside
It's getting cold
Thought it was too soon to tell
But it was terribly old
And as the heartbeat slows to a heartless crawl
The lights went out
The lights went out
And darkness filled the house
On tiring night under a Long Island sky
I thought I'd known the consequence
But sweetness can you believe this
Mess we've made of it
This mess we've made of it
In years to come it might make sense
But sweetness can you believe this
This what's become of it
What's become of it
If you hear this and you think you're ready
Then meet me in Montauk
Where we'll write out in the sand
"Here lies the destiny of two hurt souls
Afraid to be cured again"
That could be our epitaph
I thought I'd known the consequence
But sweetness can you believe this
Mess we've made of it
This mess we've made of it
In years to come it might make sense
But sweetness can you believe this
This what's become of it
What's become of it
I know...
I thought I'd known the consequence
But sweetness can you believe this
Mess we've made of it
This mess we've made of it
In years to come it might make sense
But sweetness did you forsee this
What's become of it
Just what's become...
..Jillian's POV..
It had been a week since the whole Gerard and Kat incident and he had moved out of the house and back in with his parents, taking Olivia with him. It's been pure drama since then and he's been talking to a lawyer about having full custody. Frank and I were helping him move back in.
"Gerard where should I put Olivia's box of clothes?" I asked him. We were in his room which was located in the basement.
"Um I guess just leave them down here for now until the movers come with her furniture. Her room is gonna be upstairs next to Mikey's so I'm probably gonna have to hook up some sort of walkie talkie system in her's and my room so I can hear if anything goes wrong," he said thoughtfully.
"Daddy?" We heard from the top of the stairs. Gerard looked up and saw Olivia standing at the top of them, looking uncertain. She had only walked down the stairs by herself once and was still a bit scared.
"It's OK sweetie you can come down. I'll stand at the bottom," he said and walked to the bottom of the stairs. I smiled and folded up an empty box. Olivia took one step at a time slowly until she became too frightened at the fourth step and sat down, coming the rest of the way down on her behind. Once she reached the second to last step, Gerard leaned down and picked her up, carrying her over to the bed.
"Gee can I throw this friggin nasty ass pair of sweat pants out?" Frank asked holding up a pair of Gerard's bleach stained wrinkled sweatpants by his pointer finger and thumb.
"Yeah. I haven't worn those in forever. Kat got them for me a long time ago," he said. Frank threw them into the garbage bag and pulled more clothes out of the box. Gerard opened his box marked "Drawing Things" and began to pull out sketch books, markers, pencils, paint... everything an artist would need and placed them on his desk which was bare except for a framed picture of him and Olivia on Christmas.
"Daddy I wanna color," Olivia said.
"OK sweetie we just have to find the box with your coloring books and crayons," he said.
"I have it over here. Come here Liv and we'll pick out which one you want," Frank said. Olivia crawled across the bed and over to Frank where he dug through the box of her coloring materials. Once Gerard set her up at his desk, we folded up the rest of the empty boxes and Frank and I brought them outside to the curb.
"Hey do you wanna go on a little vacation next week? It won't cost you any money," I said.
"Sure. Where too?" he asked.
"To my family's house out in Montauk. It'll just be the two of us," I said and blushed. I really wanted to be alone with him before he left for the tour and before he started to record. Yesterday, the guys A&R called and told them they're moving the recording session up to October instead of January since they wanted to release the record by June. I was really sad that Frank was gonna be in LA for four months, but I was really excited for him as well.
"That sounds perfect baby," he said and kissed me softly. Just then, Mikey pulled into the driveway.
"Oh baby! TAKE IT OFF!!!" He yelled. I rolled my eyes.
"Shut up Mikey," Frank said.
"OH! Almost forgot. Tomorrow is the fourth of July as you both know, and it's also the day before Ali leaves for the Nintendo Fusion tour, so we're having a big Fourth of July slash Ali's going away party tomorrow night at her friend's apartment in the city. We're gonna go there for drinks and stuff, then go out to dinner, then go watch the fireworks. Sound cool?" he asked us.
"Yeah definately," I said. Frank nodded. Mikey and Alicia had officially started dating the night Alicia beat the crap out of Kat. We went back into the house and into the basement where Gerard was putting his clothes away and Olivia was still coloring.
"Nice of you to FINALLY join us Mikey after all of the packing is done," Gerard said sarcastically.
"Sorry bro. Overslept at Alicia's," he replied sheepishly.
"Until 5:00 pm?" Frankie asked. Mikey shrugged. Gerard smiled and rolled his eyes before walking over to Olivia and covering her ears with his hands.
"Did you bang her yet?" he asked Mikey. Mikey blushed.
"No. We've only been officially together for a week," he said.
"Ohhhh so she's a virgin!" Gerard said. Mikey turned even redder and nodded.
"So?" Frank said.
"No, nothing bad. It's just very uncommon to find an 18 almost 19 year old virgin anymore. It's awesome you did Mikey, means she's not easy," Gerard stated. I blushed darkly and turned away, pretending to be interested at the poster on the wall. I always hated when the topic of sex came up because I never knew what to say. Frank noticed my discomfort and changed the subject.
"So Gee, you're coming to the party tomorrow night right?" Frank asked. Gerard took his hands off Olivia's ears and nodded.
"Of course. The fireworks in the city are the best. Plus there's gonna be alcohol!" he said happily. We all rolled our eyes at him and helped him put the rest of his things away. After we were finished Frank and I decided to head back to his house to just hang out since we were tired from helping Gerard move all day. The whole ride back, Frank was unusually quiet, like something was bothering him.
"Frankie are you OK?" I asked. He didn't answer, just nodded. I stared out the window, a million thoughts running through my head. Was it me? Did I do something wrong? Something to upset him? We got back to his house and went inside. His mom was sitting on the couch and we said hi to her before heading up to his room.
"Baby I need to talk to you," he said quietly. Oh God, here we go. My nerves were working in overdrive and my breathing was getting heavy. He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. My hands shook as I sat down next to him.
"This has been bothering me for a week now. When you slept over last week, right before you fell asleep, you said to me 'Thank you for saving me Frankie.' It's been bugging me ever since, but I didn't know how to bring it up to you. What did you mean by it? Is or was someone hurting you sweetie?" he asked. I bit my lip. I didn't mean to say that to him.
"Not anymore," I whispered. His eyes widened.
"What does that mean? Someone was hurting you? Who? When?" he asked with concern. I shook my head.
"It doesn't matter," I said, looking away from him. I felt his hand cup my face as he turned my head back to facing him so our eyes locked.
"It matters to me," he replied. I took a deep breath.
"I hate him," I whispered as tears rolled down my face. Frank wiped them away and kissed my forehead.
"Who?"
"Jeffrey," I said almost inaudibly. I hated crying more then anything, especially in front of other people, but this was too painful and I couldn't hold back. Frank's face was sculpted in rage.
"What did that fucking piece of shit do to you?" he asked, almost harshly.
"At the beginning of the year, he started to threaten me. Badly. Like saying all these sick and twisted things. Telling me he would rape me and slit my throat when he orgasmed, things like that. He's fucking crazy. My parents had him and his parents over for dinner and he was sending me these sick text messages all throughout the meal, but I didn't tell anyone because I was scared. Well he cornered me after dinner in my room. He slapped me and pushed me against the wall, pressing his pocket knife against my throat, telling me to enjoy my last breaths because he was gonna rip me apart and show everyone what a dirty slut I was. Thank God for Maria because she walked into my room at that moment with my laundry. He quickly put his knife away and walked out like nothing happened. I was so scared and humiliated I never ever told anyone and I made sure never to be alone while he was around again. He only recently stopped because he met you and he's scared of you. I never told anyone this Frankie. No one. I didn't wanna tell you because I thought you would freak out," I told him, sobbing hard now. Frank looked angry and horrified. He swallowed hard and pulled me tightly to his chest, holding me as close as he could. I cried my heart out while grasping his shirt in my hands hard, trying to get him even closer.
"Shhhh it's OK baby. He'll never ever hurt you again. I promise. If he so much as even looks at you again, I will fucking kill him. I mean it. He will never live to see daylight again," he soothed. His hands rubbed my back in a comforting way, making me realize how much I needed Frank. The need was burning inside me like fire and I didn't know how I had ever lived without him in my life. He pulled my head off his chest, looking into my blood shot eyes which still had tears pouring out of them. He wiped them and kissed them away before kissing my lips in a tender, loving way. It made my knees weak and my body shake even more. "Please don't leave me Frank," I whispered.
"Never ever Jilly. Never ever," he said. He held me again, letting me cry. All this crying was making me terribly sick. My stomach was churning as I hiccuped and sobbed and the horrible memories ran through my head.
"Frankie I'm gonna throw up," I said sitting up fast ready to run. Frank sat up too and brought me to the bathroom. He held my hair back and rubbed my back as I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
"It's OK baby. Let it out," he said as I gagged and heaved. Jesus way to go Jillian. Crying like a baby and puking your brains out in front of your boyfriend. Real classy. Once I knew there was nothing left to get out of my system. I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth out with water. Frankie handed me the Listerene and I took a swig, letting the green liquid swish around my mouth, getting the nasty taste out of it before I spit in the sink. I took a deep breath. My body felt so much better, but I was still shaking uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I didn't mean to get all worked up."
"Don't be sorry Jilly. You had every right to be worked up," he said reassuringly. He wrapped his arms around me, giving me a loving hug and kissing my temple. One of my favorite things about him was how affectionate he was. I burried my face in his chest and breathed deep. He smelt so good. I just wanted to bottle him and keep him forever.
"Relax baby. You're trembling," he said softly. I tried my hardest to calm down as we went back into his room to lay down. I removed my shoes and pants, leaving me in just my green tank top and black and white polka dot boy shorts. Frankie stared hungrily at me and pulled off his shoes, pants, and shirt before climbing into bed with me. He pulled the covers over our bodies and wrapped his arms around me, my back against his chest. I felt his erection against my backside and squirmed a bit.
"I'm sorry baby. I can't help it though. You're so fucking sexy," he whispered as he kissed my neck. I tilted my head back onto his shoulder, giving him more access to my sensitive flesh and moaned. His hands rubbed my thighs and were starting to get higher.
::Flashback::
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard. So hard until you bleed and your insides are ruined. Then I'm gonna fucking slit your throat while I come in you," Jeffrey whispered in my ear as I cried.
::End Flashback::
I cried out and pulled away from Frankie until I was curled in a ball as far away from him as possible. What the hell is wrong with me??? Frankie isn't Jeffrey!
"Baby are you OK? Was I moving too fast?" he asked frantically as he touched my shoulder. I jumped and he pulled his hand away. I looked up at him. Comprehension dawned on his face as he saw my expression of sheer fright.
"Oh my God Jilly I'm sorry sweetie. I didn't mean to scare you," he said apologetically. I shook my head.
"I'm not ready," I whispered.
"I know baby. I wasn't going to try and make you have sex with me. I know my hands were roaming a bit, but I would never touch you where you weren't ready for me to. When you are ready though, I want you to know that I'm not going to hurt you. I'm NEVER going to hurt you," he said truthfully while looking into my eyes.
"I know," I whispered. He pulled me into him again, cuddling me.
"Maybe.... we could go a little farther in Montauk?" I said and felt heat rise on my cheeks.
"Of course we can. All alone, just the two of us, in Montauk," he whispered in my ear. I smiled to myself and fell asleep in his embrace.
-July 4, 2003-
Frankie and I woke up the next morning around 10 to his phone ringing.
"Hello?" he answered groggily. "Yeah..... What time?....... Sounds good we'll be there...... OK bye," he said and hung up.
"Who was it?" I asked and yawned.
"Mikey. Wanted to know if we wanna go into the city with him at like 2ish and have a late lunch with him and Alicia before everyone else came in for the night," he said and stretched. I nodded. Alicia was one of my favorite people. Her and Krista had quickly become two of my very good friends and we didn't just hang out when we were with our boyfriends. The three of us would go shopping, go to the movies, grab lunch, things like that. I got out of bed and went into my over night bag pulling out my outfit for the day. A Marc Jacobs red and white striped halter top and a short denim Abercrombie skirt.
"Mind if I shower?" I asked.
"Of course not sweetie," he said, still laying in bed and obviously staring at my nearly naked form.
"Take a picture, it lasts longer," I said teasingly.
"Can I?" he asked with a smile. I rolled my eyes before walking out of the room. "God that ass is so fucking HOT!" he called after me. I laughed and went into the bathroom. After a quick shower, I changed into my outfit and went back into Frankie's room where he was in bed watching cartoons.
"Enjoying yourself?" I asked as I went into my bag and got my blowdryer and straightener.
"Now I am because you're here," he said. I smiled.
"You can go shower," I said.
"Don't you have to do your hair?" he asked.
"It's OK I can do it when you get out," I said. He shook his head.
"You can do it while I'm showering," he said. I bit my lip and looked away.
"You don't have to look Jilly. I'll be in the shower and you'll be on the other side of the bathroom doing your hair," he said.
"OK," I replied. He got out of bed and went into his drawer to get out a new pair of boxers. Then he went to his closet and looked inside. He stretched widely and rubbed his stomach before scratching his balls. I burst out laughing.
"What?" he asked.
"Real nice Frank," I said in between my giggling.
"All balls itch. They gotta be scratched," he said with a smile and a shrug which made me laugh even more. He turned back to his closet and got out a black and red Independent shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. We walked into the bathroom together and he shut the door. I plugged in my hair dryer and straightener as he turned the water on. I closed my eyes until I heard him get in. After blow drying my hair, Frank turned the water off and stepped out. Once he had a towel securly wrapped around his waist, he came over to the sink and grabbed his gel. My mouth went dry as I watched the water drip down his sculpted chest and stomach. I swallowed hard and straightened my hair, trying not to look. He put some gel in his hair and laid it flat on his head with a comb.
"I see you staring," he said with a smile. I blushed and looked back at the mirror. "Can't help it can you? I'm just too fucking sexy," he said. I laughed.
"You, Frank Iero, are BEYOND sexy," I said. He wiggled his eyebrows and kissed me soundly. We went back to getting ready and soon we were on our way to Mikey and Gerard's. I decided to drive us into the city since it was way easier then taking the train.
"Hola bitches," Mikey greeted as he answered the door. We said hi and walked inside. Crying could be heard from upstairs.
"What's going on?" Frank asked.
"She tripped on the sidewalk outside and skinned her knee. Gerard's cleaning her up in the bathroom," Mikey said.
"Ouch," I said. He nodded.
"Ready to go?" he asked. Frank and I both nodded and the three of us walked out the door and got into my Range Rover.
"Whoa Silly Jilly! Nice friggin ride!" Mikey exclaimed once he got into the backseat.
"Thank you," I said accepting the compliment. After about a 25 minute drive, we had crossed over Staten Island and we were now on the west side of the city.
"OK where does she live?" I asked.
"98th and Central Park West," he said. After merging my way mercilessly through the crowded traffic, we had finally made it to Alicia's friend's apartment. I parked my car and locked it before Mikey hit the intercom.
"Who is it?" said a voice.
"Hey Meghan it's Mikey," he replied. There was a loud buzzing sound indicating the door opening and the three of us went inside. After climbing four flights of stairs, Mikey knocked on apartment 4A. A girl with bright red hair answered the door.
"Hey Mikey!" she said and she let us in.
"Hey Meghan. These are my friends Frank and Jillian," he said introducing us to her. We all said hi and Alicia walked out of one of the bedrooms.
"Hey guys!!" she said excitedly and kissed Mikey hello before giving Frank and I hugs. "Ready for lunch?" she asked.
"Yeah! I'm starving!" Frank said. We said goodbye to Meghan and walked out onto the street.
"So where to?" Frank asked.
"I don't know the city that well so you guys can pick," Alicia said.
"Do you guys wanna go to Serendipity?" I asked them.
"Like the movie? The restaurant is real?" Alicia asked. I nodded.
"Oh then let's go there!" she said excitedly.
"Sounds good," Mikey and Frank said. We decided to take the subway down to Columbus Circle and walk from there since it was such a nice day out. We walked through Central Park and then to 60th St between 2nd and 3rd. After Frank saw the Dylan's Candy Bar on the corner, he made it apparent that he really wanted to go in after we had eaten. We walked down the few steps into Serendipity and as usual it was crowded. I pushed my way to the front where the hostess was.
"Can I help you?" he asked me.
"How long a wait for four?" I asked. He checked his book.
"About fifteen minutes," he replied.
"OK that works."
"Name please?" he asked.
"Jillian," I responded.
"OK. Please make sure to have one of your party wait inside because if you miss your name being called, we're going to have to seat the next person," he told me. I nodded and went back to the door where the others were standing.
"Fifteen minute wait and we have to stand inside because we'll miss our table then," I told them. We made small conversation until I heard the hostess calling my name. He took us to our table upstairs and we scanned through the menu.
"So are you excited for your tour tomorrow?" Frank asked Alicia.
"Yeah. I can't wait, but I'm really gonna miss Mikey. When I finish touring, you guys will be done too, but then you're off to LA to record for four months," she said sadly. Mikey put his arm around her shoulder and I blinked tears back. I wasn't ready for Frank to leave yet, even though I knew I'll be visiting him while he's in LA and I'll be stopping by on a few tour dates, just not the ones in Europe.
"Yeah I'm not ready for that either," I said. Frank gave me a small smile and held my hand under the table.
"All right lets talk about something happy," Mikey said. We all nodded in agreement. We conversed about tonight and how excited we were about getting drunk and watching fireworks.
"So what do you two have planned for the summer before tour?" Alicia asked Frank and I.
"Not much. We're gonna spend as much time with each other as we can, and we're going to Jillian's family's house out in Montauk next week for a little get away," Frank said.
"Just the two of you?" Mikey asked.
"Yeah," I replied.
"What's Montauk?" Alicia asked.
"It's the most eastern point of Long Island... well the most eastern part of New York really. My family has a beach house out there. It's so relaxing and peaceful to wake up every morning and walk outside, sinking your feet in the sand," I said dreamily. I loved it out there.
"That sounds amazing. I hope you two have fun," Alicia said. The waitor came and took our orders. We talked more about summer and things of that nature while we ate. Once we were finished and the check was paid, we went to Dylan's Candy Bar at Frank's request. Even though I was extremely full from lunch, I couldn't help but to get a small bag of assorted candy to munch on. AFter we made our purchases, we walked back to Columbus Circle and took the subway back up to Meghan's apartment. When we arrived, Krista, Ray, and Gerard were already there and already drinking. Alicia and I went over to Krista and hugged her hello.
"Who's excited for fireworks? I AM!" Krista exclaimed handing Alicia and I red, white, and blue margaritas. The red was Strawberry, the white was pineapple, and the blue was rasberry. It tasted so good.
"So Ali are you excited for tour tomorrow?" Krista asked her.
"Yeah, just gonna miss Mikey," she said.
"I know. I'm really gonna miss Ray while he's away too," Krista said. We all started drinking heavily and soon Krista, Alicia, and I were hysterically drunk crying to Frank, Mikey, and Ray who were equally just as drunk.
"I don't want you to leave me! You're gonna meet some European whore and never want to see me again!" Krista slurred, tears pouring down her face.
"Why do I meet the most amazing guy ever and we have to go on stupid tours when we first meet. WHY??" Alicia asked frantically.
"Frankie I'm gonna miss you so much! I don't want you to go!" I cried. The guys tried to comfort us as best as they could in their drunken stupor and then Gerard started to cry, and he was also very drunk.
"Awwww Gee why are you crying?" Mikey asked his older brother.
"I don't wanna leave my Olivia!" he exclaimed, burying his face in his hands. We all decided that a big giant group hug was in order and it made us feel a lot better.
"Oh my it's getting late! FIREWORKS!" Krista yelled as she looked at her watch. We all grabbed our things and headed out of the apartment and onto the subway where we took it up to South Street Sea Port for the firework show. We all sat on the ground, all of the couples cuddling and Gerard flirting with an equally drunk girl. She was pretty, but definately not relationship material. We all knew though that he just needed ass really bad. At 9:00, the fireworks started and they were beautiful. Gerard watched them for about two minutes before he and the girl started making out and dry humping on the ground. Frank glanced over at them and shook his head with a laugh. I couldn't stop looking up at the sky and loving the feeling of Frank's arms wrapped around me. We were a happy couple in love. Whoa, wait.... LOVE? I don't even know what love is right? I mean I've never even been in love! Is that what I feel for Frank though? Love? I smiled as he kissed my cheek. Yes. It is love. I turned my head back to look at him and he smiled.
"I love you Jillian," he said to me. I studied his face. He was completely serious. I smiled brightly.
"I love you too Frank," I replied and he kissed me like I had never been kissed before. Now I felt like I was in on the secret that the rest of the world knew about. I loved being in love and I knew that this would never fade. I leaned back against him and we watched the rest of the display. Once it was over and I was completely sober, Mikey said that he was going to spend the night with Alicia since she was leaving in the morning. We all went back to The apartment and said our goodnights and Frank and I headed back to my house for the night. My parents were out in the Hamptons for the fourth and my siblings were out at other parties. Frank and I went up to my room and changed into our pajamas before climbing into bed.
"I love you Jilly Bean," he whispered and kissed me.
"I love you too Frankie," I whispered back before sleep overcame me.
Montauk (Mahn-tawk)
"Montauk"- Bayside
It's getting cold
Thought it was too soon to tell
But it was terribly old
And as the heartbeat slows to a heartless crawl
The lights went out
The lights went out
And darkness filled the house
On tiring night under a Long Island sky
I thought I'd known the consequence
But sweetness can you believe this
Mess we've made of it
This mess we've made of it
In years to come it might make sense
But sweetness can you believe this
This what's become of it
What's become of it
If you hear this and you think you're ready
Then meet me in Montauk
Where we'll write out in the sand
"Here lies the destiny of two hurt souls
Afraid to be cured again"
That could be our epitaph
I thought I'd known the consequence
But sweetness can you believe this
Mess we've made of it
This mess we've made of it
In years to come it might make sense
But sweetness can you believe this
This what's become of it
What's become of it
I know...
I thought I'd known the consequence
But sweetness can you believe this
Mess we've made of it
This mess we've made of it
In years to come it might make sense
But sweetness did you forsee this
What's become of it
Just what's become...
..Jillian's POV..
It had been a week since the whole Gerard and Kat incident and he had moved out of the house and back in with his parents, taking Olivia with him. It's been pure drama since then and he's been talking to a lawyer about having full custody. Frank and I were helping him move back in.
"Gerard where should I put Olivia's box of clothes?" I asked him. We were in his room which was located in the basement.
"Um I guess just leave them down here for now until the movers come with her furniture. Her room is gonna be upstairs next to Mikey's so I'm probably gonna have to hook up some sort of walkie talkie system in her's and my room so I can hear if anything goes wrong," he said thoughtfully.
"Daddy?" We heard from the top of the stairs. Gerard looked up and saw Olivia standing at the top of them, looking uncertain. She had only walked down the stairs by herself once and was still a bit scared.
"It's OK sweetie you can come down. I'll stand at the bottom," he said and walked to the bottom of the stairs. I smiled and folded up an empty box. Olivia took one step at a time slowly until she became too frightened at the fourth step and sat down, coming the rest of the way down on her behind. Once she reached the second to last step, Gerard leaned down and picked her up, carrying her over to the bed.
"Gee can I throw this friggin nasty ass pair of sweat pants out?" Frank asked holding up a pair of Gerard's bleach stained wrinkled sweatpants by his pointer finger and thumb.
"Yeah. I haven't worn those in forever. Kat got them for me a long time ago," he said. Frank threw them into the garbage bag and pulled more clothes out of the box. Gerard opened his box marked "Drawing Things" and began to pull out sketch books, markers, pencils, paint... everything an artist would need and placed them on his desk which was bare except for a framed picture of him and Olivia on Christmas.
"Daddy I wanna color," Olivia said.
"OK sweetie we just have to find the box with your coloring books and crayons," he said.
"I have it over here. Come here Liv and we'll pick out which one you want," Frank said. Olivia crawled across the bed and over to Frank where he dug through the box of her coloring materials. Once Gerard set her up at his desk, we folded up the rest of the empty boxes and Frank and I brought them outside to the curb.
"Hey do you wanna go on a little vacation next week? It won't cost you any money," I said.
"Sure. Where too?" he asked.
"To my family's house out in Montauk. It'll just be the two of us," I said and blushed. I really wanted to be alone with him before he left for the tour and before he started to record. Yesterday, the guys A&R called and told them they're moving the recording session up to October instead of January since they wanted to release the record by June. I was really sad that Frank was gonna be in LA for four months, but I was really excited for him as well.
"That sounds perfect baby," he said and kissed me softly. Just then, Mikey pulled into the driveway.
"Oh baby! TAKE IT OFF!!!" He yelled. I rolled my eyes.
"Shut up Mikey," Frank said.
"OH! Almost forgot. Tomorrow is the fourth of July as you both know, and it's also the day before Ali leaves for the Nintendo Fusion tour, so we're having a big Fourth of July slash Ali's going away party tomorrow night at her friend's apartment in the city. We're gonna go there for drinks and stuff, then go out to dinner, then go watch the fireworks. Sound cool?" he asked us.
"Yeah definately," I said. Frank nodded. Mikey and Alicia had officially started dating the night Alicia beat the crap out of Kat. We went back into the house and into the basement where Gerard was putting his clothes away and Olivia was still coloring.
"Nice of you to FINALLY join us Mikey after all of the packing is done," Gerard said sarcastically.
"Sorry bro. Overslept at Alicia's," he replied sheepishly.
"Until 5:00 pm?" Frankie asked. Mikey shrugged. Gerard smiled and rolled his eyes before walking over to Olivia and covering her ears with his hands.
"Did you bang her yet?" he asked Mikey. Mikey blushed.
"No. We've only been officially together for a week," he said.
"Ohhhh so she's a virgin!" Gerard said. Mikey turned even redder and nodded.
"So?" Frank said.
"No, nothing bad. It's just very uncommon to find an 18 almost 19 year old virgin anymore. It's awesome you did Mikey, means she's not easy," Gerard stated. I blushed darkly and turned away, pretending to be interested at the poster on the wall. I always hated when the topic of sex came up because I never knew what to say. Frank noticed my discomfort and changed the subject.
"So Gee, you're coming to the party tomorrow night right?" Frank asked. Gerard took his hands off Olivia's ears and nodded.
"Of course. The fireworks in the city are the best. Plus there's gonna be alcohol!" he said happily. We all rolled our eyes at him and helped him put the rest of his things away. After we were finished Frank and I decided to head back to his house to just hang out since we were tired from helping Gerard move all day. The whole ride back, Frank was unusually quiet, like something was bothering him.
"Frankie are you OK?" I asked. He didn't answer, just nodded. I stared out the window, a million thoughts running through my head. Was it me? Did I do something wrong? Something to upset him? We got back to his house and went inside. His mom was sitting on the couch and we said hi to her before heading up to his room.
"Baby I need to talk to you," he said quietly. Oh God, here we go. My nerves were working in overdrive and my breathing was getting heavy. He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. My hands shook as I sat down next to him.
"This has been bothering me for a week now. When you slept over last week, right before you fell asleep, you said to me 'Thank you for saving me Frankie.' It's been bugging me ever since, but I didn't know how to bring it up to you. What did you mean by it? Is or was someone hurting you sweetie?" he asked. I bit my lip. I didn't mean to say that to him.
"Not anymore," I whispered. His eyes widened.
"What does that mean? Someone was hurting you? Who? When?" he asked with concern. I shook my head.
"It doesn't matter," I said, looking away from him. I felt his hand cup my face as he turned my head back to facing him so our eyes locked.
"It matters to me," he replied. I took a deep breath.
"I hate him," I whispered as tears rolled down my face. Frank wiped them away and kissed my forehead.
"Who?"
"Jeffrey," I said almost inaudibly. I hated crying more then anything, especially in front of other people, but this was too painful and I couldn't hold back. Frank's face was sculpted in rage.
"What did that fucking piece of shit do to you?" he asked, almost harshly.
"At the beginning of the year, he started to threaten me. Badly. Like saying all these sick and twisted things. Telling me he would rape me and slit my throat when he orgasmed, things like that. He's fucking crazy. My parents had him and his parents over for dinner and he was sending me these sick text messages all throughout the meal, but I didn't tell anyone because I was scared. Well he cornered me after dinner in my room. He slapped me and pushed me against the wall, pressing his pocket knife against my throat, telling me to enjoy my last breaths because he was gonna rip me apart and show everyone what a dirty slut I was. Thank God for Maria because she walked into my room at that moment with my laundry. He quickly put his knife away and walked out like nothing happened. I was so scared and humiliated I never ever told anyone and I made sure never to be alone while he was around again. He only recently stopped because he met you and he's scared of you. I never told anyone this Frankie. No one. I didn't wanna tell you because I thought you would freak out," I told him, sobbing hard now. Frank looked angry and horrified. He swallowed hard and pulled me tightly to his chest, holding me as close as he could. I cried my heart out while grasping his shirt in my hands hard, trying to get him even closer.
"Shhhh it's OK baby. He'll never ever hurt you again. I promise. If he so much as even looks at you again, I will fucking kill him. I mean it. He will never live to see daylight again," he soothed. His hands rubbed my back in a comforting way, making me realize how much I needed Frank. The need was burning inside me like fire and I didn't know how I had ever lived without him in my life. He pulled my head off his chest, looking into my blood shot eyes which still had tears pouring out of them. He wiped them and kissed them away before kissing my lips in a tender, loving way. It made my knees weak and my body shake even more. "Please don't leave me Frank," I whispered.
"Never ever Jilly. Never ever," he said. He held me again, letting me cry. All this crying was making me terribly sick. My stomach was churning as I hiccuped and sobbed and the horrible memories ran through my head.
"Frankie I'm gonna throw up," I said sitting up fast ready to run. Frank sat up too and brought me to the bathroom. He held my hair back and rubbed my back as I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
"It's OK baby. Let it out," he said as I gagged and heaved. Jesus way to go Jillian. Crying like a baby and puking your brains out in front of your boyfriend. Real classy. Once I knew there was nothing left to get out of my system. I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth out with water. Frankie handed me the Listerene and I took a swig, letting the green liquid swish around my mouth, getting the nasty taste out of it before I spit in the sink. I took a deep breath. My body felt so much better, but I was still shaking uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I didn't mean to get all worked up."
"Don't be sorry Jilly. You had every right to be worked up," he said reassuringly. He wrapped his arms around me, giving me a loving hug and kissing my temple. One of my favorite things about him was how affectionate he was. I burried my face in his chest and breathed deep. He smelt so good. I just wanted to bottle him and keep him forever.
"Relax baby. You're trembling," he said softly. I tried my hardest to calm down as we went back into his room to lay down. I removed my shoes and pants, leaving me in just my green tank top and black and white polka dot boy shorts. Frankie stared hungrily at me and pulled off his shoes, pants, and shirt before climbing into bed with me. He pulled the covers over our bodies and wrapped his arms around me, my back against his chest. I felt his erection against my backside and squirmed a bit.
"I'm sorry baby. I can't help it though. You're so fucking sexy," he whispered as he kissed my neck. I tilted my head back onto his shoulder, giving him more access to my sensitive flesh and moaned. His hands rubbed my thighs and were starting to get higher.
::Flashback::
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard. So hard until you bleed and your insides are ruined. Then I'm gonna fucking slit your throat while I come in you," Jeffrey whispered in my ear as I cried.
::End Flashback::
I cried out and pulled away from Frankie until I was curled in a ball as far away from him as possible. What the hell is wrong with me??? Frankie isn't Jeffrey!
"Baby are you OK? Was I moving too fast?" he asked frantically as he touched my shoulder. I jumped and he pulled his hand away. I looked up at him. Comprehension dawned on his face as he saw my expression of sheer fright.
"Oh my God Jilly I'm sorry sweetie. I didn't mean to scare you," he said apologetically. I shook my head.
"I'm not ready," I whispered.
"I know baby. I wasn't going to try and make you have sex with me. I know my hands were roaming a bit, but I would never touch you where you weren't ready for me to. When you are ready though, I want you to know that I'm not going to hurt you. I'm NEVER going to hurt you," he said truthfully while looking into my eyes.
"I know," I whispered. He pulled me into him again, cuddling me.
"Maybe.... we could go a little farther in Montauk?" I said and felt heat rise on my cheeks.
"Of course we can. All alone, just the two of us, in Montauk," he whispered in my ear. I smiled to myself and fell asleep in his embrace.
-July 4, 2003-
Frankie and I woke up the next morning around 10 to his phone ringing.
"Hello?" he answered groggily. "Yeah..... What time?....... Sounds good we'll be there...... OK bye," he said and hung up.
"Who was it?" I asked and yawned.
"Mikey. Wanted to know if we wanna go into the city with him at like 2ish and have a late lunch with him and Alicia before everyone else came in for the night," he said and stretched. I nodded. Alicia was one of my favorite people. Her and Krista had quickly become two of my very good friends and we didn't just hang out when we were with our boyfriends. The three of us would go shopping, go to the movies, grab lunch, things like that. I got out of bed and went into my over night bag pulling out my outfit for the day. A Marc Jacobs red and white striped halter top and a short denim Abercrombie skirt.
"Mind if I shower?" I asked.
"Of course not sweetie," he said, still laying in bed and obviously staring at my nearly naked form.
"Take a picture, it lasts longer," I said teasingly.
"Can I?" he asked with a smile. I rolled my eyes before walking out of the room. "God that ass is so fucking HOT!" he called after me. I laughed and went into the bathroom. After a quick shower, I changed into my outfit and went back into Frankie's room where he was in bed watching cartoons.
"Enjoying yourself?" I asked as I went into my bag and got my blowdryer and straightener.
"Now I am because you're here," he said. I smiled.
"You can go shower," I said.
"Don't you have to do your hair?" he asked.
"It's OK I can do it when you get out," I said. He shook his head.
"You can do it while I'm showering," he said. I bit my lip and looked away.
"You don't have to look Jilly. I'll be in the shower and you'll be on the other side of the bathroom doing your hair," he said.
"OK," I replied. He got out of bed and went into his drawer to get out a new pair of boxers. Then he went to his closet and looked inside. He stretched widely and rubbed his stomach before scratching his balls. I burst out laughing.
"What?" he asked.
"Real nice Frank," I said in between my giggling.
"All balls itch. They gotta be scratched," he said with a smile and a shrug which made me laugh even more. He turned back to his closet and got out a black and red Independent shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. We walked into the bathroom together and he shut the door. I plugged in my hair dryer and straightener as he turned the water on. I closed my eyes until I heard him get in. After blow drying my hair, Frank turned the water off and stepped out. Once he had a towel securly wrapped around his waist, he came over to the sink and grabbed his gel. My mouth went dry as I watched the water drip down his sculpted chest and stomach. I swallowed hard and straightened my hair, trying not to look. He put some gel in his hair and laid it flat on his head with a comb.
"I see you staring," he said with a smile. I blushed and looked back at the mirror. "Can't help it can you? I'm just too fucking sexy," he said. I laughed.
"You, Frank Iero, are BEYOND sexy," I said. He wiggled his eyebrows and kissed me soundly. We went back to getting ready and soon we were on our way to Mikey and Gerard's. I decided to drive us into the city since it was way easier then taking the train.
"Hola bitches," Mikey greeted as he answered the door. We said hi and walked inside. Crying could be heard from upstairs.
"What's going on?" Frank asked.
"She tripped on the sidewalk outside and skinned her knee. Gerard's cleaning her up in the bathroom," Mikey said.
"Ouch," I said. He nodded.
"Ready to go?" he asked. Frank and I both nodded and the three of us walked out the door and got into my Range Rover.
"Whoa Silly Jilly! Nice friggin ride!" Mikey exclaimed once he got into the backseat.
"Thank you," I said accepting the compliment. After about a 25 minute drive, we had crossed over Staten Island and we were now on the west side of the city.
"OK where does she live?" I asked.
"98th and Central Park West," he said. After merging my way mercilessly through the crowded traffic, we had finally made it to Alicia's friend's apartment. I parked my car and locked it before Mikey hit the intercom.
"Who is it?" said a voice.
"Hey Meghan it's Mikey," he replied. There was a loud buzzing sound indicating the door opening and the three of us went inside. After climbing four flights of stairs, Mikey knocked on apartment 4A. A girl with bright red hair answered the door.
"Hey Mikey!" she said and she let us in.
"Hey Meghan. These are my friends Frank and Jillian," he said introducing us to her. We all said hi and Alicia walked out of one of the bedrooms.
"Hey guys!!" she said excitedly and kissed Mikey hello before giving Frank and I hugs. "Ready for lunch?" she asked.
"Yeah! I'm starving!" Frank said. We said goodbye to Meghan and walked out onto the street.
"So where to?" Frank asked.
"I don't know the city that well so you guys can pick," Alicia said.
"Do you guys wanna go to Serendipity?" I asked them.
"Like the movie? The restaurant is real?" Alicia asked. I nodded.
"Oh then let's go there!" she said excitedly.
"Sounds good," Mikey and Frank said. We decided to take the subway down to Columbus Circle and walk from there since it was such a nice day out. We walked through Central Park and then to 60th St between 2nd and 3rd. After Frank saw the Dylan's Candy Bar on the corner, he made it apparent that he really wanted to go in after we had eaten. We walked down the few steps into Serendipity and as usual it was crowded. I pushed my way to the front where the hostess was.
"Can I help you?" he asked me.
"How long a wait for four?" I asked. He checked his book.
"About fifteen minutes," he replied.
"OK that works."
"Name please?" he asked.
"Jillian," I responded.
"OK. Please make sure to have one of your party wait inside because if you miss your name being called, we're going to have to seat the next person," he told me. I nodded and went back to the door where the others were standing.
"Fifteen minute wait and we have to stand inside because we'll miss our table then," I told them. We made small conversation until I heard the hostess calling my name. He took us to our table upstairs and we scanned through the menu.
"So are you excited for your tour tomorrow?" Frank asked Alicia.
"Yeah. I can't wait, but I'm really gonna miss Mikey. When I finish touring, you guys will be done too, but then you're off to LA to record for four months," she said sadly. Mikey put his arm around her shoulder and I blinked tears back. I wasn't ready for Frank to leave yet, even though I knew I'll be visiting him while he's in LA and I'll be stopping by on a few tour dates, just not the ones in Europe.
"Yeah I'm not ready for that either," I said. Frank gave me a small smile and held my hand under the table.
"All right lets talk about something happy," Mikey said. We all nodded in agreement. We conversed about tonight and how excited we were about getting drunk and watching fireworks.
"So what do you two have planned for the summer before tour?" Alicia asked Frank and I.
"Not much. We're gonna spend as much time with each other as we can, and we're going to Jillian's family's house out in Montauk next week for a little get away," Frank said.
"Just the two of you?" Mikey asked.
"Yeah," I replied.
"What's Montauk?" Alicia asked.
"It's the most eastern point of Long Island... well the most eastern part of New York really. My family has a beach house out there. It's so relaxing and peaceful to wake up every morning and walk outside, sinking your feet in the sand," I said dreamily. I loved it out there.
"That sounds amazing. I hope you two have fun," Alicia said. The waitor came and took our orders. We talked more about summer and things of that nature while we ate. Once we were finished and the check was paid, we went to Dylan's Candy Bar at Frank's request. Even though I was extremely full from lunch, I couldn't help but to get a small bag of assorted candy to munch on. AFter we made our purchases, we walked back to Columbus Circle and took the subway back up to Meghan's apartment. When we arrived, Krista, Ray, and Gerard were already there and already drinking. Alicia and I went over to Krista and hugged her hello.
"Who's excited for fireworks? I AM!" Krista exclaimed handing Alicia and I red, white, and blue margaritas. The red was Strawberry, the white was pineapple, and the blue was rasberry. It tasted so good.
"So Ali are you excited for tour tomorrow?" Krista asked her.
"Yeah, just gonna miss Mikey," she said.
"I know. I'm really gonna miss Ray while he's away too," Krista said. We all started drinking heavily and soon Krista, Alicia, and I were hysterically drunk crying to Frank, Mikey, and Ray who were equally just as drunk.
"I don't want you to leave me! You're gonna meet some European whore and never want to see me again!" Krista slurred, tears pouring down her face.
"Why do I meet the most amazing guy ever and we have to go on stupid tours when we first meet. WHY??" Alicia asked frantically.
"Frankie I'm gonna miss you so much! I don't want you to go!" I cried. The guys tried to comfort us as best as they could in their drunken stupor and then Gerard started to cry, and he was also very drunk.
"Awwww Gee why are you crying?" Mikey asked his older brother.
"I don't wanna leave my Olivia!" he exclaimed, burying his face in his hands. We all decided that a big giant group hug was in order and it made us feel a lot better.
"Oh my it's getting late! FIREWORKS!" Krista yelled as she looked at her watch. We all grabbed our things and headed out of the apartment and onto the subway where we took it up to South Street Sea Port for the firework show. We all sat on the ground, all of the couples cuddling and Gerard flirting with an equally drunk girl. She was pretty, but definately not relationship material. We all knew though that he just needed ass really bad. At 9:00, the fireworks started and they were beautiful. Gerard watched them for about two minutes before he and the girl started making out and dry humping on the ground. Frank glanced over at them and shook his head with a laugh. I couldn't stop looking up at the sky and loving the feeling of Frank's arms wrapped around me. We were a happy couple in love. Whoa, wait.... LOVE? I don't even know what love is right? I mean I've never even been in love! Is that what I feel for Frank though? Love? I smiled as he kissed my cheek. Yes. It is love. I turned my head back to look at him and he smiled.
"I love you Jillian," he said to me. I studied his face. He was completely serious. I smiled brightly.
"I love you too Frank," I replied and he kissed me like I had never been kissed before. Now I felt like I was in on the secret that the rest of the world knew about. I loved being in love and I knew that this would never fade. I leaned back against him and we watched the rest of the display. Once it was over and I was completely sober, Mikey said that he was going to spend the night with Alicia since she was leaving in the morning. We all went back to The apartment and said our goodnights and Frank and I headed back to my house for the night. My parents were out in the Hamptons for the fourth and my siblings were out at other parties. Frank and I went up to my room and changed into our pajamas before climbing into bed.
"I love you Jilly Bean," he whispered and kissed me.
"I love you too Frankie," I whispered back before sleep overcame me.
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