...if I'm so wrong, how can you listen all night long? Now will it matter after I'm gone? Because you never learned agoddamned thing...
I was going crazy.
A week had passed since Frank and I had our little chat in the rest area, and still, nothing else had happened.
I mean, he was supposed to tell me something about his past, something big. Something that was tormenting him, from what I had seen.
I was scared shitless, more and more so with every passing day.
I had to know what it was and yet I couldn't bring myself to ask him.
I didn't want to ruin it all again.
At least things were better. We were back to joking, fooling around, and hanging out all day talking, but we only talked about unimportant things... things that didn't matter. And the whole time I would think I should just ask him straight out. But I couldn't!
We had had 3 more concerts. There were no more strange moments between us... no stage kissing or any of that, which I was thankful for.
But now, I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to explode. I hadn't even told him how I felt yet... how much I loved him. I had to know what was keeping us from taking a chance... and I had to know now.
"Frank... we need to talk."
We didn't have another concert for a few days so on our trip we decided to make a stop at our friend Emma's house.
She was actually Mikey's friend; they met each other in college, but she was a sweetheart and soon became friends with all of us. She had room, so we decided to pay her a surprise visit and crash at her house for a day or two.
Right now I was in her backyard with Frankie sitting in plastic chairs next to a round matching table.
Frank had just finished the cigarette he was smoking and was pressing it into an ashtray.
"You know what. I need to know, Frank."
He got up from his chair. "No. I can't talk about that now."
He started to walk away but I jumped up from my chair and stood in front of him. I /had /to know! "No, Frank. Don't walk away. This is too important. Why could you tell Mikey but you can't tell me?"
He stopped trying to get around me. "He told you?" he asked, glaring at me.
"No. He just said there was something... something in your past that I didn't understand. He wouldn't tell me what it was though. He said you would, sooner or later."
"Sooner or later," he agreed and tried to get around me again.
"Tell me now, Frank! I can't take this anymore! All this acting... pretending everything is ok, when its not! You think this is easy for me? I've never felt this way before about anyone and..."
"You don't feel anything. You're not a fag. Neither am I. End of story."
I stared at him with my mouth open. "Forget the names! Just think about what you feel, stop concentrating on the fact that I'm a guy. Why are you so close minded about this? It's weird for me too, but it's what I feel and I have to accept-"
"You don't know what you feel, so shut the fuck up!" He tried to get around me again, but I held onto his arm. "Please."He looked so tormented and pathetic... I wanted to hug and kiss him and let him know that everything would be okay... but I asked him another question instead.
"Baby, what's wrong? Please tell me... Icould help." I rubbed his arm soothingly, but he couldn't stand my touch and backed away.
"Don't... please. I can't... you feel the same for me as you feel for Mikey, okay? Just leave it at that... please, it's better that way..."
"It's not true and you know it. What I feel for you... it's..." I tried to get the words out but it was so fucking hard and the way he was acting was making it harder. He stepped around me suddenly and started towards the house, with his hands stuffed in the pocket of his hoodie.
"Frank! I... I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!"
He stopped dead in his tracks and lowered his head. He turned slightly in my direction, but didn't look at me, and whispered in disbelief, "What?"
I took a step closer to him and repeated, in a low and tender voice, "I love you, Frank."
He glanced up at me for a moment, his eyes filled with tears, and what I thought was going to be the best moment of my life, turned out to be the worst.
Looking back down, he shook his head, and said in a tormented voice, "This can't happen... I can't...," and quickly walked towards the house, leaving me alone, shocked, miserable and not understanding anything at all.
...I'm trying, I'm trying to let you know just how much you mean to me, and after all the things we put each other through and I would drive on to the end with you...
A/N: So... you can totally tell I was listening to Demolition Lovers while I wrote this chapter. Yep... I had it on repeat hehe. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Review and rate if you want to see more! Oh and thank you so much for being patient, it means a lot to me to see that you still stick with the story even though I don't update as much as I'd like to. The reviews are so sweet... thank you!! =)
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