FicWad

By the time Gerard and Ray returned to the apartment Christa and I were sitting watching a movie. I hadn’t told her I recognized the girl in the photo. I wasn’t sure why but until I understood more I just couldn’t share my info. I had to find out who the girl in the photo was and what had happened to her. I liked Christa and felt terrible for her. She and I were in the same boat so to speak. We both loved men who were sharing a dark secret. Both men were tormented and to the breaking point.
“Hey, Honey.” Gerard walked over to me and gave me a quick kiss. “Miss me?’
“What? Were you gone? I hadn’t noticed.” I teased. He sat down on the sofa beside me. His eyes moved to the T.V. screen. “I love this movie,” he said.
Christa, who was now sitting in Ray’s lap, laughed. “You love every movie ever made.”
Gerard shook his head, “Not true. There are a few I don’t like.”
“Name one.” Christa challenged.
Gerard frowned, “Well…”
“She’s right, you know.” I said to my husband. I looked over at Christa, “Sorry to say I’m just like him. We like movies.”
I noticed Ray was staring at me. I tried to ignore him but it wasn’t easy. “Would you two like to have dinner with us tonight?” He asked.
“Man, I’m pretty tired. Vegas wore me out.” Gerard said with a smirk.
“Actually I wore him out.” I said leaning over and kissing the nape of his neck.
He nodded, “She speaks the truth.”
I knew we were just performing an act called the Happy Couple but damn it I liked it. Maybe if you pretend long enough it becomes reality?
“Ready to get back to our motel?” Gerard asked me softly. I nodded. I thanked Christa and Ray for picking us up at the airport. Our rental car had been turned in at the airport so Ray said he’d drive us to the motel.
“So we’re just gonna be at the motel without a car?” I asked.
Gerard laughed, “Shit, just married and she don’t want to be alone with her husband at a motel.”
I grinned, “Ok, you know that’s not what I meant.”
“Car rental place dropped another car off for us at the motel.” He told me.
“Man, perks of being famous?” I teased.
Gerard shrugged, “Sometimes money comes in handy.”
We started for the door. “Laura, call me tomorrow, okay?” Christa called out.
She and I locked eyes. Now she and I shared a secret. I nodded to her and said I’d call her.
On the ride to the motel I started to feel sleepy. I scooted down in the back seat and closed my eyes. Soon I was at the place when sleep is sneaking up on you but you you’re not quite asleep. Ray and Gerard were speaking to each other in hushed tones. I strained to hear them.
“You’ve to keep it together.” Ray said. His voice was just above a whisper.
“I know” Gerard answered angrily.
“Just saying you’re starting to make stupid moves, like her.” I knew he was talking about me. “ We can’t afford for you to lose it.”
“I’m not fucking gonna lose it.” Gerard was getting angrier and angrier. Shit, thanks Ray.
“Look we get out of here day after tomorrow. Just hold it together until we get out of Jersey. Things will be okay when we get back on the road.”
Gerard snorted, “Who the fuck do you think you’re kidding?
Ray didn’t answer. They rode in silence the rest of the way and eventually I fell asleep.

“Laura, wake up” Gerard opened my door and took my hand. We said good-bye to Ray and went into our room. As soon as the door closed behind us I saw Gerard’s face change. He walked over to the bed, took his shoes off and leaned back. Slowly I walked over and looked at him.
“Not now.” He said without opening his eyes. “Just leave me alone.”
I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Gently I touched his hair to brush it away from his face. He snapped at me, “I said leave me the fuck alone.”
“What the hell is going on? Please, don’t shut me out.” I pleaded.
He opened his eyes. They were full of hatred. “Just leave me alone. I need to sleep. When I get up we’ll go get some dinner.”
Okay I was trying to be understanding but damn it he was being such a bastard. “So should I just sit here and watch you sleep?”
“I don’t give a fuck what you do.” He said rolling over.
His words stung because I realized he meant them. I went into the bathroom and slammed the door. I looked into the mirror and wondered who the person was looking back at me. Why was she here? I whispered to my reflection, “Cause you’ve seen glimpses of the man he can be and because you love him.”
When I was sure he was asleep I silently left the room and went to the office. As I had hoped the car rental agency had left the keys to the car for us with the manager. It was only after I started back to Belleville I realized that I should have left Gerard a note. What the fuck would I have written? “Be back soon” Oh I know – “Dear Gerard, out trying to figure out what the fuck happened in your past that’s making you crazy.” Nope that didn’t sound quite right either. So maybe not leaving a note was good.
Sooner than I liked I was back in front of Gerard’s old house. Well technically it was still his house. I sat in the driveway asking myself why I was here. I wasn’t even sure I could get in. There was no way I was gonna try to get the keys from him. I knew he had them in his pocket and trying to get them from him while he was asleep was not an option. Ray said he had gotten in through an unlocked door. While I thought he had a key maybe there was a door unlocked. Suddenly the events of the past few days seemed to come crashing down on me. Was I being a fool to think Gerard cared about me? Sometimes I swear I could see love in his eyes. At lease I hoped that was what I was seeing. “Shit I’m such a idiot,” I said out loud. I laid my head on the steering wheel and tried not to cry.
A sudden knocking on the window scared the shit out of me. I looked up to see an older woman peering in at me. Slowly I lowered the window.
“Hi, I saw you pull up and thought I’d come over and say hello. You’re Gerard’s fiancée aren’t you?”
“Actually I’m his wife.” I said. Her shocked expression made me add, “We just got married yesterday.”
The woman smiled, “Oh, well then congratulations. I’ve known the Way boys since they were little. I live next door.” She pointed out her house.
“I’m Laura” I started to open the car door and she stepped back.
“Hello, Laura” She said smiling, “I’m Helen.”