Categories > Original > Romance
As the World Falls Down
0 reviewsIt’s only forever; not long at all. The lost and the lonely- that’s underground. I’ll be there for you as the world falls down. As the apocalypse approaches (by way of meteor becoming crashed...
0Moving
A/N: PLEASE READ THIS NOTE I really like the style I’ve got it written in, but it can get kinda confusing as to who’s speaking at times, so ‘he’ is in italics. Or, he was. Ficwad ate my tags. So now 'he' is in slashes, because I'm too lazy to fix it. Inspired by both a dream I had and two songs by David Bowie- “Underground” and “As the World Falls Down”. Musical inspiration/songs that fit in are located in full at www.projectplaylist.com/node/16707169
Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical/, /Dune, /Mythbusters,/ the Matrix, “As the World Falls Down”, “Who Wants to Live Forever”, or iPods. Well, I own an iPod. But not them in general. I own the characters and plotline.
“Oh my god, are you okay? Come on, talk to me! Wake up!”
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“Oh, god, oh, god, oh god, he’s dead…”
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“Wake up… please… Don’t leave me trapped down here alone.”
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“/You know, I’ve never woken up next to a girl who wasn’t related to me… Like, ever.”/
“Oh, god, you’re alive! Don’t you scare me like that!”
“/Ow, ow, ow… What, you don’t know what an unconscious person looks like, or how to take a pulse or whatever?”/
“…”
“/Got any aspirin?”/
“Yeah, it’s in my purse… under the wreckage.”
“/Sure. That helps.”/
“Never scare me like that again and I’ll go find it.”
“/Deal.”/
-----
“I just spend a half hour finding my purse, and you can’t dry-swallow?!?!”
“/Hey, I thought I had water.”/
“…”
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“/How long do you think we’ll be down here?”/
“Does it matter? In about 48 hours we’ll be dead anyway.”
“/Yeah, well, I figured that maybe we wanted to get out of here and at least have one drunken binge before we die.”/
“You’re such a guy.”
“/What do you think I am, a girl?”/
“…”
“/See, if you really wanted a ‘you’re such a guy’ moment, you should have waited for me to say that I was hoping to get laid before the end of the world.”/
“Don’t even think about it.”
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“/You know, I never thought that I’d die a virgin.”/
“Shut up.”
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“How long have we been down here?”
“/I think an hour or so. Can’t see my watch.”/
“So an hour then?”
“/Yeah, let’s go with that.”/
“One down, forty-seven to go.”
“/Heh.”/
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“Your shoulder is comfy.”
“/Really? I wouldn’t know.”/
“You’d think your girlfriend would have told you that.”
“/Heh, heh. You’d think so, wouldn’t you?”/
“Come on. I saw you with her at homecoming. You two were practically having sex on the dance floor. You can’t honestly say you’re a virgin.”
“/Oh, so now you want to talk to talk about sex and virginity.”/
“You’re dodging the question.”
“/There was a question?”/
“Never thought you were this intelligent.”
“/Fine, fine. If you want the truth, then, yes, I am a virgin. There. I said it.”/
“So you weren’t just saying that earlier because you just wanted to ravish me.”
“/You’re funny when you’re annoyed.”/
“I thought all teenage guys were sex-aholics who have all gotten some.”
“/Well, I like to hold myself to a higher standard than most teenage guys.”/
“Hah. Hah-hah. I’m laughing oh so very hard.”
“/Seriously. You’re really funny.”/
“Oh, shut up.”
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“Forty-five hours left.”
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“Do you think they’re actually looking for us?”
“/What?”/
“Our parents or whatever. Are they actually going to bother trying to find us? I mean, the world is going to pretty much be smashed into little tiny bits in like forty-four hours.”
“/Maybe.”/
“I’d like to think my parents are. But I really don’t know.”
“/Heh. Maybe my mom is. Doubt my dad is. Or my step-dad, for that matter.”/
“You know, you never told me if you had any siblings.”
“/Heh. I suppose not.”/
“…So do you?”
“/No.”/
“Lucky you.”
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“/What do you have there?”/
“My iPod.”
“/Dude, seriously?”/
“Why is it that all males call everyone ‘dude’? I’m not a dude!”
“/Whatever. What all do you have on there?”/
“You are not going to be listening to /High School Musical/.”
“/Why not?”/
“You’re the only heterosexual guy I know that likes that… thing. And I’m not even sure why I have the music on here anyway. Regardless, I am not spending the last days of my life listening to Andrew Seeley, Zac Efron, and Vanessa Anne Hudgens.”
“/Party pooper.”/
“No one has called me that in like four years.”
“/Hey, my friends and I used that one a lot in middle school.”/
“Are you really that much older than me?”
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“So you’re seriously going to dig out a hole and leave?”
“/What, you aren’t?”/
“I kinda like it in here. It’s private.”
“/What’s with the Mythbusters quote?”/
“Hey, Jamie rocks my socks.”
“…”
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“You’ve been staring at that wall for five hours.”
“/So?”/
“So I’m bored.”
“/And?”/
“Entertain me.”
“/Thought you had your iPod.”/
“Yeah, and my iPod is the only thing we can see that has a clock. So I’m not going to waste battery.”
“/Well, what do you want me to do?”/
“I don’t know! Sing a song, do a little dance. Tell me a story.”
“/Fine. Once upon a time, the earth was a gigantic, moving target for a sharpshooter asteroid or meteor or whatever. Two teenagers are stuck underground and get exploded. And they died happily ever after.”/
“…Bitch.”
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“Given up on the hole yet?”
“/Maybe.”/
“It’s getting late. I think.”
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“Your shoulder is comfy.”
“/You already said that.”/
“I know.”
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“/Hey, you still awake?”/
“Mmm. No.”
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“Hey.”
“/Hey/.”
“24 to go, huh?”
“/I think so. Lemme see your iPod.”/
“No way! What, you didn’t finish your hole and find out?”
“…/It occurred to me I don’t really have anywhere else I want to be.”/
“Cute. Just don’t get all sappy on me.”
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“/So, let’s talk exes.”/
“Seriously. You are honestly breaking first date etiquette on purpose?”
“/Oh, so this is a date now?”/
“Well, you didn’t exactly get me flowers.”
“/But really, do you have any exes?”/
“If you count the guy I was quote-unquote ‘dating’ in first grade, then I have… One.”
“/Seriously?”/
“Oh, I am dead serious.”
“/Ooookay.”/
“Well, what about you?”
“/Four.”/
“Five, including your current girlfriend.”
“/Yeah, but she’s not an ex.”/
“Considering the position we’re in, I don’t think you’re the most loyal boyfriend ever.”
“/What? We’re conserving body heat.”/
“No, we’re cuddling. There’s a difference.”
“/Yeah, well, screw you.”/
“You know you want to.”
“/Well, maybe I do.”/
“You do realize I meant that as a joke, right?”
“…/I knew that.”/
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“You know, I’ve always wondered what guys talk about when girls aren’t around. Wanted to know that before I died.”
“/Why, what do girls talk about?”/
“Guys. Makeup. Boobs.”
“/Huh. Kinda the same for guys. Girls, sports, and the family jewels.”/
“Please tell me you don’t use the term ‘family jewels’ when you talk about them.”
“’/Course not. Just thought that maybe you’d prefer it over the multiple other, more vulgar terms.”/
“You’ve known me for five months. You should know that I am not averse to such things.”
“/So says miss prim-and-proper I-love-grammar.”/
“Screw you.”
“/Haven’t we dealt with this topic?”/
“…”
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“/You know, for only having 22 hours till the end of the world, you’re surprisingly calm.”/
“So are you.”
“/Yeah, but why?”/
“Well, who wants to live forever?”
“/Eh?”/
“What, you’ve never heard of that song?”
“/No.”/
“It’s the best Emo kinda-sorta-love-song ever! Okay, you’re going to have to listen to it. Take the iPod.”
“/Whatever happened to conserving battery?”/
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“I had the hugest crush on you.”
“/Since when?”/
“First day of Gym.”
“/Huh. Didn’t you transfer in with that one kid, the one that stalked you?”/
“No, I was there since day one. I sat next to you during the teachers little introductory spiel. You were wearing… god, what was it… That shirt, the one with ‘I have gas’ on it.”
“/Oh, yeah. I loved that shirt. Whatever will the universe do without human humor?”/
“You know, if I knew this would be your reaction, I’d have mentioned it much earlier.”
“/I think it’s a little too late for regrets.”/
“Good point.”
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“/20 hours to go.”/
“Mmm. You know what?”
“/What?”/
“I don’t care.”
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“/Crap; what was that?”/
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“/Hey, are you okay? I can’t see…”/
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“/You’d better not be faking.”/
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“/God, no. No, no, no.”/
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“/Don’t you dare leave me like this. I can’t spend the last 19 hours of my existence alone with some dead chick.”/
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“/Please.”/
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“Hey.”
“/Oh, god, you’re all right!”/
“Aah! Careful. Argh. Well, now you know how I felt.”
“/Yeah, yeah. Let’s get you up.”/
“Don’t think I’ll be standing up any time soon.”
“/Dear god.”/
“You’re telling me.”
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“So, what are we going to do with the last 17 hours of our lives?”
“/Well—”/
“I was kinda thinking activities not involving the removal of clothes, if you don’t mind.”
“/In that case, I’ve got nothing.”/
“Wondrous.”
“/Are you sure that clothes have to stay on?”/
“Yes.”
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“Hey.”
“/What is it?”/
“I’m scared.”
“…/I’m right here.”/
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“…You took off your shirt.”
“/Yeah?”/
“I thought I said clothes stayed on.”
“/It’s hot down here.”/
“And?”
“/Not like you could see anyway, regardless of the light in here, blind-as-a-batgirl.”/
“That’s horrible.”
“/Hey. It’s me.”/
“Don’t you dare bring Han into this. He’s like the only movie character you haven’t corrupted for me. Let’s not even get in to what you said about Paul-Muad’Dib.”
“/I maintain that the guy is gay with Stilgar.”/
“You know, I kinda thought Jessica and Stilgar would get together.”
“/You do realize that I only saw that one chunk of the movie you showed me.”/
“Okay, first, that wasn’t a movie. It was a miniseries. Second, you’ve never seen the whole thing of /Dune/? Sci-fi buff that you are?”
“/No, in fact, I haven’t.”/
“You’re finishing your hole. If there’s one thing you have to see before you die, Dune is it.”
“/Not a chance. I like it down here.”/
“No, you’re just hoping you’re going to get laid.”
“…/That too./”
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“I hate how dark it is.”
“/Why?”/
“I miss seeing your goofy smile.”
“/Well, I miss your blue eyes./”
“They’re green.”
“/They’re blue, and you know it.”/
“Bastard.”
“/Bitch.”/
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“/Sing something./”
“What?”
“/You have a great voice. Sing something./”
“Not sure I can sing in this position, but fine. Whatever.
“There’s such a sad love deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel open and closed within your eyes. I’ll place the sky within your eyes.
“There’s such a fooled heart, beatin’ so fast in search of new dreams, a love that will last within your heart. I’ll place the moon within your heart.
“As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you. Every thrill has gone; wasn’t too much fun at all. But I’ll be there for you as the world falls down- falling, falling in love.
“I’ll paint you mornings of gold; I’ll spin you valentine evenings, though we’re strangers ‘till now. We’re choosing the path between the stars. I’ll lay my love between the stars.
“As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you. Every thrill has gone; wasn’t too much fun at all. But I’ll be there for you as the world falls down- falling, we’re falling, falling in love. As the world falls down, we’re falling- falling in lo—mmf!”
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“That was just… odd.”
“/Mmm… What was?”/
“Just that… Hey, stop that!”
“/Heh, heh. Stop what?”/
“That’s not fair; I can’t move, you lit— hey!”
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“/T-minus 15 hours and counting.”/
“Must you be so dramatic?”
“/Heh, heh. Of course. Gotta be dramatic enough to laugh about the end of the world.”/
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“It occurs to me. Maybe if, you know, because we’re pretty well sealed in down here, we survive? Then what?”
“/It’s probably not gonna work like that. I mean, it’s going to pretty much be kinda like what happened with the dinosaurs or whatever. You know, like, everyone dies unless they’re underwater.”/
“Yeah, but the mammals survived.”
“/That’s because back then we were about hamster-sized. And even if we survive, what will we do for food?”/
“We could eat my legs.”
“/What?”/
“Hey, not like they’ll be any use for me.”
“/We’re not going to survive.”/
“But what if we do?”
“/Then the human race would become extinct.”/
“Why?”
“/Cause if we were the last two alive, we’d have to repopulate the world. And you seem to be averse to that idea./”
“Granted in my current situation, I don’t think I could exactly stop you. But then you’d have to live with the whole rape thing over your head.”
“/I thought we were going to die.”/
“Well, for all we know, yeah.”
“…/You’re the most confusing person I’ve ever met.”/
“You know it.”
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“Your girlfriend is really nice, you know. Or, at least from what I saw of her.”
“/You really think so?/”
“Once I got beyond the whole I-want-to-throw-you-off-a-cliff-because-I-love-your-guy thing, then she seemed pretty cool.”
“/Heh. Go figure, eh?”/
“Why didn’t you go to see her when you heard the news?”
“/Well, we kinda had a fight./”
“What?”
“/Your stalker was making jokes when I was on the phone with her. Mentioning something about ‘an escapade in Vegas’. And he said it really loudly.”/
“And you didn’t call her back?”
“/Well, no…”/
“Okay, if we survive this, you are never going to kiss me again, like, ever. Seriously. You don’t just not call a girl back.”
“/Sure. I’ll log that away for when we go to ‘a better place’ and I have to pick up chicks there.”/
“If I still had my purse, I’d fwap you with it.”
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“I could go for a pizza.”
“/Yeah. Get it delivered to ‘the conveniently located cave just to the left of Jerry’s Bait Shop’. Double mushroom for me.”/
“I’m a fan of the Canadian Bacon myself.”
“/Gross.”/
“So says the guy who eats fungus.”
“/I don’t eat fungus.”/
“…Mushrooms are fungi.”
“/No they’re— oh.”/
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“You know, I don’t even know your favorite color.”
“/Red.”/
“Huh. Mine’s jade green.”
“/You’re such a chick.”/
“Well, you’re such a dude.”
“/You know it.”/
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“/Why are we even talking about this stuff?”/
“Cause it keeps my mind off the fact that we’ll be dead in 12 hours.”
“/Oh./”
“God, my mom and dad, and my sisters… They don’t know where I am…”
“/Neither does my family.”/
“Well, I didn’t even say goodbye. I just told them I was going away with some friends… and I never got to see them before the news came out… And everyone… oh, god…”
“/Shh, shh… Look, I’m scared too, okay? You’re going to be all right.”/
“Yeah, aside from the fact that I’m gonna—”
“/You’ve got me. You’re not going to die alone, all right?”/
“I’m going to die flat on my back in a cave somewhere. That’s almost worse— Hey, what are you doing? Aah!”
“/Moving the rocks.”/
“Well, don’t! It hurts!”
“/More than having them on top of your legs?”/
“Actually, yes. Yes, it does.”
“/Well, it’s this or you die flat on your back in a cave somewhere. Take your pick.”/
“…Keep going.”
-----
“/You’re a good person. You know that, right?”/
“What?”
“/Just… nevermind.”/
“No, really. What?/”/
“/You put up with that guy in Gym for weeks. You helped me audition for the musical. Heck, you help people you don’t know with stuff. You’re probably going to go to heaven. If it exists./”
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“/Well, with the thoughts going through my head right now, I’m definitely going to hell.”/
“Perv.”
“/To deny our impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human./”
“Now you’re corrupting Mouse!”
“/That character was just as pervy as I’m making him out to be./”
“Yeah, but he was really cool.”
“/And I’m not?/”
“Maybe. Haven’t decided yet. Being trapped underground with someone for two days makes you change your opinion of them.”
“/So you don’t still have a crush on me?/”
“Nope. Crush is stronger than ever.”
“/And yet I’m not cool?”/
“I told you; I haven’t decided yet.”
“/Sure you haven’t.”/
“Really. I don’t know where to put you on the spectrum of awesomeness.”
“…/The spectrum of awesomeness?”/
“…I have no life, okay?”
“/Weirdo.”/
“Perv.”
-----
“/If you could change one thing in the past, what would it be?”/
“Whatever happened to ‘it’s too late for regrets’?”
“/Not in your past. Just in the past.”/
“…I wouldn’t change anything.”
“/What? Not even like the atomic bomb or whatever?”/
“Okay. Say we didn’t drop them on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Then the war would have continued to zap our resources and kill our young men.”
“/Well, what about stopping High School Musical/? You seem to have a vendetta against that.”
“See, if I went back and changed that, Disney would have come up with something equally as pathetic, if not worse, that would have gotten equally as much fame.”
“/Fine. Well, what about JFK’s assassination? Or Bush’s election?”/
“JFK wasn’t exactly the most competent president ever. I mean, the CIA bullied him into the whole Bay of Pigs thing. And if Bush wasn’t elected, Gore would have been and that would mean that we’d all be hugging trees right now. If you’re going for the re-election, Kerry would have probably killed us because the guy can’t maintain an opinion for more than five minutes. Pretty much, all the candidates in the past ten years have sucked.”
“/Good point.”/
“Well, what would you have changed?”
“/I’d have met you sooner.”/
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“Okay, you had to use the yawn-and-put-your-arm-around-the-girl’s-shoulders?”
“/Hey, I thought I did it with some class.”/
“No one, and I mean /no one/, can do that with class.”
“/You haven’t hit me yet.”/
“What?”
“/You usually smack people when you’re pissed.”/
“Yeah, who says that just because I haven’t hit you, you did it with class?”
“/Well, at least you aren’t mad at me.”/
“Or maybe I’m just too tired. Just… don’t let me fall asleep, okay?”
“/Why not?”/
“I don’t want to be awake in nine hours. I don’t generally sleep more than six. So keep me awake for now, ‘cause I… I don’t want to be awake when I… you know.”
“…/All right.”/
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“/You’ve got to stay awake, okay? You can fall asleep later.”/
“But I’m /really /tired.”
“/Argh. Stuff to keep you awake… um… Quiz question. History. Who—”/
“William Jennings Bryan.”
“…/How do you do that?”/
“It’s the sweetness.”
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“/What was that song you sang earlier?”/
“Why do you want to know?”
“/It was a good song. I might want to get it sometime.”/
“Before or after we’re blown to bits?”
“/Just what is it?”/
“It’s called ‘As the World Falls Down’. By David Bowie.”
“/Bowie scares me.”/
“Eighties Bowie, or right-now Bowie?”
“/Right now Bowie.”/
“Yeah. I agree. He has not aged gracefully.”
“/Sing me something else.”/
“My throat’s dry.”
“/And yet you still talk.”/
“Cut me some slack. Unless you want me to break out into a rousing cover of ‘Everyday I Love You Less and Less’. Or maybe some Weird Al. I know how much you despise him. Weirdo.”
“/Hey, did you see him in that one picture from Straight Outta Lynwood/? He looks at you like he’s about to gnaw your face off.”
“I’ll give you that one. But, seriously, haven’t you heard ‘Albuquerque’? It’s the best. Song. Ever.”
“/Sing it for me, then.”/
“Two reasons why not. One, I’m dying from dehydration, and my voice is cracking more and more every second. Two, it’s an eleven-and-a-half minute song. I’m seriously not singing the whole thing.”
“/I never said it had to sound good/.”
“Bah.”
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“Ugh, I’m not feeling so good.”
“/Come on; you’ve got to stay with me. Another hour and you can sleep, alright?”/
“Right. Yes. ‘Cause I don’t want to be awake. Don’t let me be awake.”
“/I won’t.”/
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“/Well, I guess now that you’re asleep, I can say whatever I want. Yay.”/
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“/You know, I never had the heart to tell you this, but…/
“/I hate Star Wars./
“…
“/Good thing I waited for you to be asleep.”/
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“/On a more serious note, I love you./
“/Seriously, I do.”/
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“/I really wish you were awake.”/
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“/Uh, yeah, God? You there? Course you’re there. You’re always there. Supposedly./
“/Look, uh, I know that you have your big plan and you get to separate the sheep from the goats at the end of the world and all that, but…/
“/I love her. Really. And I want to be with her. A-and I think she does, too./
“/But you already know that, don’t you?/
“/So could you, at least, let me see her one last time before we get divided or whatever? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I’m going to purgatory or hell or something./
“/I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘nice time to repent, hours before the end of the world. Ignore me for a few years and see if you get into heaven.’ But…/
“/I just don’t want her to be alone./
“/She doesn’t deserve that.”/
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“/You know, your shoulder’s not that bad, either.”/
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“/I honestly can’t believe I’m dying a virgin.”/
FIN
Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical/, /Dune, /Mythbusters,/ the Matrix, “As the World Falls Down”, “Who Wants to Live Forever”, or iPods. Well, I own an iPod. But not them in general. I own the characters and plotline.
“Oh my god, are you okay? Come on, talk to me! Wake up!”
-----
“Oh, god, oh, god, oh god, he’s dead…”
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“Wake up… please… Don’t leave me trapped down here alone.”
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“/You know, I’ve never woken up next to a girl who wasn’t related to me… Like, ever.”/
“Oh, god, you’re alive! Don’t you scare me like that!”
“/Ow, ow, ow… What, you don’t know what an unconscious person looks like, or how to take a pulse or whatever?”/
“…”
“/Got any aspirin?”/
“Yeah, it’s in my purse… under the wreckage.”
“/Sure. That helps.”/
“Never scare me like that again and I’ll go find it.”
“/Deal.”/
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“I just spend a half hour finding my purse, and you can’t dry-swallow?!?!”
“/Hey, I thought I had water.”/
“…”
-----
“/How long do you think we’ll be down here?”/
“Does it matter? In about 48 hours we’ll be dead anyway.”
“/Yeah, well, I figured that maybe we wanted to get out of here and at least have one drunken binge before we die.”/
“You’re such a guy.”
“/What do you think I am, a girl?”/
“…”
“/See, if you really wanted a ‘you’re such a guy’ moment, you should have waited for me to say that I was hoping to get laid before the end of the world.”/
“Don’t even think about it.”
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“/You know, I never thought that I’d die a virgin.”/
“Shut up.”
-----
“How long have we been down here?”
“/I think an hour or so. Can’t see my watch.”/
“So an hour then?”
“/Yeah, let’s go with that.”/
“One down, forty-seven to go.”
“/Heh.”/
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“Your shoulder is comfy.”
“/Really? I wouldn’t know.”/
“You’d think your girlfriend would have told you that.”
“/Heh, heh. You’d think so, wouldn’t you?”/
“Come on. I saw you with her at homecoming. You two were practically having sex on the dance floor. You can’t honestly say you’re a virgin.”
“/Oh, so now you want to talk to talk about sex and virginity.”/
“You’re dodging the question.”
“/There was a question?”/
“Never thought you were this intelligent.”
“/Fine, fine. If you want the truth, then, yes, I am a virgin. There. I said it.”/
“So you weren’t just saying that earlier because you just wanted to ravish me.”
“/You’re funny when you’re annoyed.”/
“I thought all teenage guys were sex-aholics who have all gotten some.”
“/Well, I like to hold myself to a higher standard than most teenage guys.”/
“Hah. Hah-hah. I’m laughing oh so very hard.”
“/Seriously. You’re really funny.”/
“Oh, shut up.”
-----
“Forty-five hours left.”
-----
“Do you think they’re actually looking for us?”
“/What?”/
“Our parents or whatever. Are they actually going to bother trying to find us? I mean, the world is going to pretty much be smashed into little tiny bits in like forty-four hours.”
“/Maybe.”/
“I’d like to think my parents are. But I really don’t know.”
“/Heh. Maybe my mom is. Doubt my dad is. Or my step-dad, for that matter.”/
“You know, you never told me if you had any siblings.”
“/Heh. I suppose not.”/
“…So do you?”
“/No.”/
“Lucky you.”
-----
“/What do you have there?”/
“My iPod.”
“/Dude, seriously?”/
“Why is it that all males call everyone ‘dude’? I’m not a dude!”
“/Whatever. What all do you have on there?”/
“You are not going to be listening to /High School Musical/.”
“/Why not?”/
“You’re the only heterosexual guy I know that likes that… thing. And I’m not even sure why I have the music on here anyway. Regardless, I am not spending the last days of my life listening to Andrew Seeley, Zac Efron, and Vanessa Anne Hudgens.”
“/Party pooper.”/
“No one has called me that in like four years.”
“/Hey, my friends and I used that one a lot in middle school.”/
“Are you really that much older than me?”
-----
“So you’re seriously going to dig out a hole and leave?”
“/What, you aren’t?”/
“I kinda like it in here. It’s private.”
“/What’s with the Mythbusters quote?”/
“Hey, Jamie rocks my socks.”
“…”
-----
“You’ve been staring at that wall for five hours.”
“/So?”/
“So I’m bored.”
“/And?”/
“Entertain me.”
“/Thought you had your iPod.”/
“Yeah, and my iPod is the only thing we can see that has a clock. So I’m not going to waste battery.”
“/Well, what do you want me to do?”/
“I don’t know! Sing a song, do a little dance. Tell me a story.”
“/Fine. Once upon a time, the earth was a gigantic, moving target for a sharpshooter asteroid or meteor or whatever. Two teenagers are stuck underground and get exploded. And they died happily ever after.”/
“…Bitch.”
-----
“Given up on the hole yet?”
“/Maybe.”/
“It’s getting late. I think.”
-----
“Your shoulder is comfy.”
“/You already said that.”/
“I know.”
-----
“/Hey, you still awake?”/
“Mmm. No.”
-----
“Hey.”
“/Hey/.”
“24 to go, huh?”
“/I think so. Lemme see your iPod.”/
“No way! What, you didn’t finish your hole and find out?”
“…/It occurred to me I don’t really have anywhere else I want to be.”/
“Cute. Just don’t get all sappy on me.”
-----
“/So, let’s talk exes.”/
“Seriously. You are honestly breaking first date etiquette on purpose?”
“/Oh, so this is a date now?”/
“Well, you didn’t exactly get me flowers.”
“/But really, do you have any exes?”/
“If you count the guy I was quote-unquote ‘dating’ in first grade, then I have… One.”
“/Seriously?”/
“Oh, I am dead serious.”
“/Ooookay.”/
“Well, what about you?”
“/Four.”/
“Five, including your current girlfriend.”
“/Yeah, but she’s not an ex.”/
“Considering the position we’re in, I don’t think you’re the most loyal boyfriend ever.”
“/What? We’re conserving body heat.”/
“No, we’re cuddling. There’s a difference.”
“/Yeah, well, screw you.”/
“You know you want to.”
“/Well, maybe I do.”/
“You do realize I meant that as a joke, right?”
“…/I knew that.”/
-----
“You know, I’ve always wondered what guys talk about when girls aren’t around. Wanted to know that before I died.”
“/Why, what do girls talk about?”/
“Guys. Makeup. Boobs.”
“/Huh. Kinda the same for guys. Girls, sports, and the family jewels.”/
“Please tell me you don’t use the term ‘family jewels’ when you talk about them.”
“’/Course not. Just thought that maybe you’d prefer it over the multiple other, more vulgar terms.”/
“You’ve known me for five months. You should know that I am not averse to such things.”
“/So says miss prim-and-proper I-love-grammar.”/
“Screw you.”
“/Haven’t we dealt with this topic?”/
“…”
-----
“/You know, for only having 22 hours till the end of the world, you’re surprisingly calm.”/
“So are you.”
“/Yeah, but why?”/
“Well, who wants to live forever?”
“/Eh?”/
“What, you’ve never heard of that song?”
“/No.”/
“It’s the best Emo kinda-sorta-love-song ever! Okay, you’re going to have to listen to it. Take the iPod.”
“/Whatever happened to conserving battery?”/
-----
“I had the hugest crush on you.”
“/Since when?”/
“First day of Gym.”
“/Huh. Didn’t you transfer in with that one kid, the one that stalked you?”/
“No, I was there since day one. I sat next to you during the teachers little introductory spiel. You were wearing… god, what was it… That shirt, the one with ‘I have gas’ on it.”
“/Oh, yeah. I loved that shirt. Whatever will the universe do without human humor?”/
“You know, if I knew this would be your reaction, I’d have mentioned it much earlier.”
“/I think it’s a little too late for regrets.”/
“Good point.”
-----
“/20 hours to go.”/
“Mmm. You know what?”
“/What?”/
“I don’t care.”
-----
“/Crap; what was that?”/
-----
“/Hey, are you okay? I can’t see…”/
-----
“/You’d better not be faking.”/
-----
“/God, no. No, no, no.”/
-----
“/Don’t you dare leave me like this. I can’t spend the last 19 hours of my existence alone with some dead chick.”/
-----
“/Please.”/
-----
“Hey.”
“/Oh, god, you’re all right!”/
“Aah! Careful. Argh. Well, now you know how I felt.”
“/Yeah, yeah. Let’s get you up.”/
“Don’t think I’ll be standing up any time soon.”
“/Dear god.”/
“You’re telling me.”
-----
“So, what are we going to do with the last 17 hours of our lives?”
“/Well—”/
“I was kinda thinking activities not involving the removal of clothes, if you don’t mind.”
“/In that case, I’ve got nothing.”/
“Wondrous.”
“/Are you sure that clothes have to stay on?”/
“Yes.”
-----
“Hey.”
“/What is it?”/
“I’m scared.”
“…/I’m right here.”/
-----
“…You took off your shirt.”
“/Yeah?”/
“I thought I said clothes stayed on.”
“/It’s hot down here.”/
“And?”
“/Not like you could see anyway, regardless of the light in here, blind-as-a-batgirl.”/
“That’s horrible.”
“/Hey. It’s me.”/
“Don’t you dare bring Han into this. He’s like the only movie character you haven’t corrupted for me. Let’s not even get in to what you said about Paul-Muad’Dib.”
“/I maintain that the guy is gay with Stilgar.”/
“You know, I kinda thought Jessica and Stilgar would get together.”
“/You do realize that I only saw that one chunk of the movie you showed me.”/
“Okay, first, that wasn’t a movie. It was a miniseries. Second, you’ve never seen the whole thing of /Dune/? Sci-fi buff that you are?”
“/No, in fact, I haven’t.”/
“You’re finishing your hole. If there’s one thing you have to see before you die, Dune is it.”
“/Not a chance. I like it down here.”/
“No, you’re just hoping you’re going to get laid.”
“…/That too./”
-----
“I hate how dark it is.”
“/Why?”/
“I miss seeing your goofy smile.”
“/Well, I miss your blue eyes./”
“They’re green.”
“/They’re blue, and you know it.”/
“Bastard.”
“/Bitch.”/
-----
“/Sing something./”
“What?”
“/You have a great voice. Sing something./”
“Not sure I can sing in this position, but fine. Whatever.
“There’s such a sad love deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel open and closed within your eyes. I’ll place the sky within your eyes.
“There’s such a fooled heart, beatin’ so fast in search of new dreams, a love that will last within your heart. I’ll place the moon within your heart.
“As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you. Every thrill has gone; wasn’t too much fun at all. But I’ll be there for you as the world falls down- falling, falling in love.
“I’ll paint you mornings of gold; I’ll spin you valentine evenings, though we’re strangers ‘till now. We’re choosing the path between the stars. I’ll lay my love between the stars.
“As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you. Every thrill has gone; wasn’t too much fun at all. But I’ll be there for you as the world falls down- falling, we’re falling, falling in love. As the world falls down, we’re falling- falling in lo—mmf!”
-----
“That was just… odd.”
“/Mmm… What was?”/
“Just that… Hey, stop that!”
“/Heh, heh. Stop what?”/
“That’s not fair; I can’t move, you lit— hey!”
-----
“/T-minus 15 hours and counting.”/
“Must you be so dramatic?”
“/Heh, heh. Of course. Gotta be dramatic enough to laugh about the end of the world.”/
-----
“It occurs to me. Maybe if, you know, because we’re pretty well sealed in down here, we survive? Then what?”
“/It’s probably not gonna work like that. I mean, it’s going to pretty much be kinda like what happened with the dinosaurs or whatever. You know, like, everyone dies unless they’re underwater.”/
“Yeah, but the mammals survived.”
“/That’s because back then we were about hamster-sized. And even if we survive, what will we do for food?”/
“We could eat my legs.”
“/What?”/
“Hey, not like they’ll be any use for me.”
“/We’re not going to survive.”/
“But what if we do?”
“/Then the human race would become extinct.”/
“Why?”
“/Cause if we were the last two alive, we’d have to repopulate the world. And you seem to be averse to that idea./”
“Granted in my current situation, I don’t think I could exactly stop you. But then you’d have to live with the whole rape thing over your head.”
“/I thought we were going to die.”/
“Well, for all we know, yeah.”
“…/You’re the most confusing person I’ve ever met.”/
“You know it.”
-----
“Your girlfriend is really nice, you know. Or, at least from what I saw of her.”
“/You really think so?/”
“Once I got beyond the whole I-want-to-throw-you-off-a-cliff-because-I-love-your-guy thing, then she seemed pretty cool.”
“/Heh. Go figure, eh?”/
“Why didn’t you go to see her when you heard the news?”
“/Well, we kinda had a fight./”
“What?”
“/Your stalker was making jokes when I was on the phone with her. Mentioning something about ‘an escapade in Vegas’. And he said it really loudly.”/
“And you didn’t call her back?”
“/Well, no…”/
“Okay, if we survive this, you are never going to kiss me again, like, ever. Seriously. You don’t just not call a girl back.”
“/Sure. I’ll log that away for when we go to ‘a better place’ and I have to pick up chicks there.”/
“If I still had my purse, I’d fwap you with it.”
-----
“I could go for a pizza.”
“/Yeah. Get it delivered to ‘the conveniently located cave just to the left of Jerry’s Bait Shop’. Double mushroom for me.”/
“I’m a fan of the Canadian Bacon myself.”
“/Gross.”/
“So says the guy who eats fungus.”
“/I don’t eat fungus.”/
“…Mushrooms are fungi.”
“/No they’re— oh.”/
-----
“You know, I don’t even know your favorite color.”
“/Red.”/
“Huh. Mine’s jade green.”
“/You’re such a chick.”/
“Well, you’re such a dude.”
“/You know it.”/
-----
“/Why are we even talking about this stuff?”/
“Cause it keeps my mind off the fact that we’ll be dead in 12 hours.”
“/Oh./”
“God, my mom and dad, and my sisters… They don’t know where I am…”
“/Neither does my family.”/
“Well, I didn’t even say goodbye. I just told them I was going away with some friends… and I never got to see them before the news came out… And everyone… oh, god…”
“/Shh, shh… Look, I’m scared too, okay? You’re going to be all right.”/
“Yeah, aside from the fact that I’m gonna—”
“/You’ve got me. You’re not going to die alone, all right?”/
“I’m going to die flat on my back in a cave somewhere. That’s almost worse— Hey, what are you doing? Aah!”
“/Moving the rocks.”/
“Well, don’t! It hurts!”
“/More than having them on top of your legs?”/
“Actually, yes. Yes, it does.”
“/Well, it’s this or you die flat on your back in a cave somewhere. Take your pick.”/
“…Keep going.”
-----
“/You’re a good person. You know that, right?”/
“What?”
“/Just… nevermind.”/
“No, really. What?/”/
“/You put up with that guy in Gym for weeks. You helped me audition for the musical. Heck, you help people you don’t know with stuff. You’re probably going to go to heaven. If it exists./”
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“/Well, with the thoughts going through my head right now, I’m definitely going to hell.”/
“Perv.”
“/To deny our impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human./”
“Now you’re corrupting Mouse!”
“/That character was just as pervy as I’m making him out to be./”
“Yeah, but he was really cool.”
“/And I’m not?/”
“Maybe. Haven’t decided yet. Being trapped underground with someone for two days makes you change your opinion of them.”
“/So you don’t still have a crush on me?/”
“Nope. Crush is stronger than ever.”
“/And yet I’m not cool?”/
“I told you; I haven’t decided yet.”
“/Sure you haven’t.”/
“Really. I don’t know where to put you on the spectrum of awesomeness.”
“…/The spectrum of awesomeness?”/
“…I have no life, okay?”
“/Weirdo.”/
“Perv.”
-----
“/If you could change one thing in the past, what would it be?”/
“Whatever happened to ‘it’s too late for regrets’?”
“/Not in your past. Just in the past.”/
“…I wouldn’t change anything.”
“/What? Not even like the atomic bomb or whatever?”/
“Okay. Say we didn’t drop them on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Then the war would have continued to zap our resources and kill our young men.”
“/Well, what about stopping High School Musical/? You seem to have a vendetta against that.”
“See, if I went back and changed that, Disney would have come up with something equally as pathetic, if not worse, that would have gotten equally as much fame.”
“/Fine. Well, what about JFK’s assassination? Or Bush’s election?”/
“JFK wasn’t exactly the most competent president ever. I mean, the CIA bullied him into the whole Bay of Pigs thing. And if Bush wasn’t elected, Gore would have been and that would mean that we’d all be hugging trees right now. If you’re going for the re-election, Kerry would have probably killed us because the guy can’t maintain an opinion for more than five minutes. Pretty much, all the candidates in the past ten years have sucked.”
“/Good point.”/
“Well, what would you have changed?”
“/I’d have met you sooner.”/
-----
“Okay, you had to use the yawn-and-put-your-arm-around-the-girl’s-shoulders?”
“/Hey, I thought I did it with some class.”/
“No one, and I mean /no one/, can do that with class.”
“/You haven’t hit me yet.”/
“What?”
“/You usually smack people when you’re pissed.”/
“Yeah, who says that just because I haven’t hit you, you did it with class?”
“/Well, at least you aren’t mad at me.”/
“Or maybe I’m just too tired. Just… don’t let me fall asleep, okay?”
“/Why not?”/
“I don’t want to be awake in nine hours. I don’t generally sleep more than six. So keep me awake for now, ‘cause I… I don’t want to be awake when I… you know.”
“…/All right.”/
-----
“/You’ve got to stay awake, okay? You can fall asleep later.”/
“But I’m /really /tired.”
“/Argh. Stuff to keep you awake… um… Quiz question. History. Who—”/
“William Jennings Bryan.”
“…/How do you do that?”/
“It’s the sweetness.”
-----
“/What was that song you sang earlier?”/
“Why do you want to know?”
“/It was a good song. I might want to get it sometime.”/
“Before or after we’re blown to bits?”
“/Just what is it?”/
“It’s called ‘As the World Falls Down’. By David Bowie.”
“/Bowie scares me.”/
“Eighties Bowie, or right-now Bowie?”
“/Right now Bowie.”/
“Yeah. I agree. He has not aged gracefully.”
“/Sing me something else.”/
“My throat’s dry.”
“/And yet you still talk.”/
“Cut me some slack. Unless you want me to break out into a rousing cover of ‘Everyday I Love You Less and Less’. Or maybe some Weird Al. I know how much you despise him. Weirdo.”
“/Hey, did you see him in that one picture from Straight Outta Lynwood/? He looks at you like he’s about to gnaw your face off.”
“I’ll give you that one. But, seriously, haven’t you heard ‘Albuquerque’? It’s the best. Song. Ever.”
“/Sing it for me, then.”/
“Two reasons why not. One, I’m dying from dehydration, and my voice is cracking more and more every second. Two, it’s an eleven-and-a-half minute song. I’m seriously not singing the whole thing.”
“/I never said it had to sound good/.”
“Bah.”
-----
“Ugh, I’m not feeling so good.”
“/Come on; you’ve got to stay with me. Another hour and you can sleep, alright?”/
“Right. Yes. ‘Cause I don’t want to be awake. Don’t let me be awake.”
“/I won’t.”/
-----
“/Well, I guess now that you’re asleep, I can say whatever I want. Yay.”/
-----
“/You know, I never had the heart to tell you this, but…/
“/I hate Star Wars./
“…
“/Good thing I waited for you to be asleep.”/
-----
“/On a more serious note, I love you./
“/Seriously, I do.”/
-----
“/I really wish you were awake.”/
-----
“/Uh, yeah, God? You there? Course you’re there. You’re always there. Supposedly./
“/Look, uh, I know that you have your big plan and you get to separate the sheep from the goats at the end of the world and all that, but…/
“/I love her. Really. And I want to be with her. A-and I think she does, too./
“/But you already know that, don’t you?/
“/So could you, at least, let me see her one last time before we get divided or whatever? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I’m going to purgatory or hell or something./
“/I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘nice time to repent, hours before the end of the world. Ignore me for a few years and see if you get into heaven.’ But…/
“/I just don’t want her to be alone./
“/She doesn’t deserve that.”/
-----
“/You know, your shoulder’s not that bad, either.”/
-----
“/I honestly can’t believe I’m dying a virgin.”/
FIN
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