FicWad

“I’m having the marriage annulled” His words kept echoing in my brain. I finally turned to look at him. He was staring straight ahead seething.
“No your not.” I said making my voice strong and clear.
“The hell I’m not” He shot back.
I wasn’t gonna argue this with him right now. Not while he was so angry. We drove in silence to the motel. Once inside he threw the car keys against the wall and turned to me. “Tell me Laura, why do you insist on doing the most fucking stupid things imaginable?”
My own anger had grown on the drive back. “Oh, you mean like trying to help the man I love?”
I knew the word love would set him off but I was beyond caring. His face was distorted by rage. “I’m sorry if you love me but I don’t fucking love you. You’ve been a pain in my ass since the day I met you.”
“Let’s think back to the first time we actually spoke shall we? Oh, wait a minute we really didn’t speak did we. We fucked. Yeah, a nice almost anonymous fuck. That’s what you wanted from me. That’s what you got. But soon that wasn’t enough. Wanna know why?” I didn’t wait for him to answer. “Cause you wanted more. You wanted someone to care for you.”
“You’re so wrong.” He said walked towards me.
“No, I’m not. You’ve been reaching out to me since this began, Gerard. You’ve asked me to save you.” I said quietly.
“Well I’m unasking now. Get the hell out of my life. Stay out of it. You were a bad mistake on my part.”
His words pierced my heart but I wouldn’t let it show. “Nope, not happening. You’re not pushing me away. I’ve got too much invested in this.”
His eyes narrowed, “What do I have to say to make you understand I want you gone? Out of my fucking life?”
“There is nothing you can say, nothing you can do. The only way I’ll get out of your life is once you are whole again.”
“What?”
“You’re a shell, Gerard. You’ve lost yourself somewhere. Whatever happened had made you bury yourself. Once in a while I see a glimpse of the man you are. I see him and that is the man I love. I’m gonna help him.”
Gerard shook his head, “You have to be the stupidest bitch I’ve ever know.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth I hit him. I balled up my fist and swung. He was close enough and not expecting it so it made contact with his cheek. He stumbled back. “I told you never to fucking call me that. I told you what would happen if you did.” I stood staring at him, my heart racing, adrenaline pumping.
He righted himself and came at me. I tried to duck but his body hit me full on. We hit the floor, his body on mine. I brought my hands up, trying to push him off. He grabbed both wrists and pinned them to the floor.
“Get off me Gerard.” I screamed.
“You love me,” he taunted. “Well this is me. Ain’t I great?” His lips came down painfully on mine.
I rolled my head back and forth trying to break free. He lifted his head looked into my eyes and laughed. “Ain’t love grand?” Once more he lowered his mouth to mine this time biting my bottom lip. The metallic taste made me know he had drawn blood.
I continued to struggle. Suddenly there was a pounding at the door.
He stilled. The knocking began again. “This is the manager. We’ve had a report of a problem. I need you to open up, please.”
Gerard closed his eyes then lifted himself off me. “Fuck” He whispered.
I got up off the ground. “Sit down on the fucking bed and smoke a cigarette. I’ll take care of this.” I made sure my clothes were okay, wiped the blood from my lip and went to the door. Taking a deep breath I opened the door and smiled. Luckily the manager on duty was the same one I had gotten the car keys from. “Hey, Tom. What’s up?”
He looked at me sheepishly, “I got a call saying there was a disturbance in this room. They said they heard shouting.” He peered around me. I stepped back so he could see Gerard sitting on the bed smoking his cigarette.
“Hey, man.’ Gerard nodded to him.
Tom smiled, “So no problem?”
I laughed, “Tom, we just got married yesterday. Honeymoon ain’t over yet. We did have the TV on maybe that’s what they heard.” I rolled my eyes, “He was watching some stupid war movie. Lots of shouting. That’s probably what they heard.”
Tom looked relived, “Sorry to have bothered you guys.”
“Hey, it’s your job but I assure you everything’s okay here.”
Tom took one final look at Gerard and left. I closed the door and leaned against it. I could hear Gerard moving off the bed.
“You’re a cool liar.” He said standing behind me.
I turned to face him. “Obviously we can’t continue this here.”
“There is nothing to continue. I told you I’m having the marriage annulled. It was a fucking mistake to bring you into this shit.”
I took a deep breath, “But you did. So I am involved. Try to have the marriage annulled and I make trouble. I don’t know what happened but I know enough to make your record company nervous. If that happens it doesn’t’ just affect you it affects the rest of the guys in the band. It affects all your fans. So bottom-line it this. I’m gonna help you and there isn’t a fucking thing you can do about it.”
He just stared at me. I stared back. I was shocked when he spoke. “I’m losing it Laura. I don’t know how much more I can take. That’s why I don’t want you around.” He brought his hand up to rub his eyes and it was shaking. “I just can’t fucking take this anymore.” He whispered.
I put my arms around him. “It’s okay, it’s okay” I chanted as I rocked him back and forth. He was teetering on the edge and I didn’t know what to do. I was fucking scared. His whole body was shaking. Slowly I led him over the bed. I lay down and pulled him with me. “Close your eyes and sleep.” I whispered. “Don’t think anymore, just sleep.” I held him until he stopped shaking. Once I knew he was asleep I let myself cry.

Several hours later I woke when I felt him move. He was still sleeping but mumbling in his sleep. I tried to listen closely to the words. He was saying something about being sorry, that he hadn’t meant to.” When he started to thrash around I woke him.
“Gerard, wake up.” I hugged him tightly.
His eyes opened, “Laura?”
The room had grown dark. “It’s okay. Let me get a light turned on.” I started to move up he held me tightly.
“No, don’t leave me.” His voice broke my heart.
“I won’t leave you.” I told him. “Ever”
We stayed in each other’s arms until the sound of his cell phone broke the silence. Slowly he moved away from me. “Yeah” he said into the phone.
I got up and turned on the light by the bed. As he listened I could tell it wasn’t a good call. “I don’t know.” He said
I wondered who he was talking to. I sat down by him and took his other hand in mine. He squeezed it lightly.
“I dunno Ma.”
Okay he was talking to Donna. Probably Helen had called her. Shit, shit. I was the one who told her Gerard owned the house.
“Yeah, we’ll stop by.” He closed the phone.
“Mom?”
“Yeah, Helen called her.” He sounded so tired.
“I’m sorry, Gerard but she saw you at the house the other day. I didn’t know what to say. At first she thought that Donna still owned the house but I knew if I didn’t say anything then it would be worse when she said something to your mom.” I was making a mess of what I was saying but I knew he understood when he leaned over and kissed me gently.
“Poor Laura, cleaning up after my messes. You’re just like Ray.”
“Ray?” I asked
He shook his head, “Yeah, Ray.” His eyes took on a glassy look while he continued to speak, “Ray cleaned up the blood. Ray disposed of the body.”