FicWad

Disclaimers: I don't own Utena, the scripts or the song: "Nothing Compares To You" by Sinead O'Conner

Authors Notes:

Woohoo! Don't you love when you get hit with inspiration ^_^ It's a rush to have an idea and work with it and make it happen... I heard the song "Nothing Compares To You" and thought it was absolutely perfect for an Utena story. I don't think some of the lyrics ended up being in order because I had to use them to make it work for the story. And it's based off of what really happens in the show, I just kinda took the idea and did my own thing. Some of the things in here refers back to the last story I wrote, "The rose brides holiday" you should read it too. ^-~

I hope you can pick up on why it's so heart wrenching for Utena when she realizes what food she ordered. Anyway I hope everyone likes this, the song lyrics are in : :

And the words from the show I got from scripts from the website: www.duellists.tj

It's a great informational Utena site.

Also, please listen to the song, download it, whatever! It's a beautiful song!
~ * ~

"Nothing Compares to you" By: Neptunes Tears

~ * ~

"It happened so fast."

Touga: "It's better this way, isn't it?" You needn't involve yourself in such meaningless duels any more, as you wished.

Shall we go, Anthy?

. . .

"I promised to protect her... to save her." Utena hid her head in her arms. "To free her!"

An image of the rose bride comes to her mind as new tears fall, she's trailing behind her new victor and her voice, Anthy's voice, calls back so carelessly. "Take care, Tenjou-san."

: It's been seven hours and fifteen days :

: Since you took your love away :

How long had it been? Days seemed to melt into nights for Utena. The burning feeling of her princely attire still stung her bruised skin from when she tore the black uniform off so harshly after the duel. It might have just been the raw feeling of shame and failure which consumed her now, hopelessness; she had no reason to wear it anymore. She was no prince, she had been a fool. Touga's voice rang in her mind and cut her heart like bits of glass.

Touga You are happy as the Rose Bride, aren't you?

Anthy I...

Anthy ...am happy as the Rose Bride.

Touga You don't want any friends. You like being alone, right?

Anthy Yes, I like being by myself.

Touga Tenjou-kun, this is how it is.

Touga Himemiya Anthy is the Bride of the victor of the Duel.

Touga While she was engaged to you, the Code required her to obey you.

'Required her to obey me.'

Utena pushed herself off her bed and got dressed numbly in the dusk of the setting sun and the clouding sky, before going out. She shut the door behind her and walked out of the dorm without any place in particular in mind.

:I go out every night and sleep all day:

:Since you took your love away :

She found herself walking into town, the wind tugged at her clothes as if trying to get her attention. She looked into a shop window and saw two pretty porcelain teacups, sitting there as if mockingly. She touched her hand to the cool glass. Did Himemiya remember their promise?

Touga: Now that you have lost the Duel, the connection between you two is severed.

Touga: Forget all about her, and about this Duel.

She didn't know how long she stood there lost in her thoughts and staring at those perfect cups but soon someone came out and told her they were closing soon and that she would have to leave. She pushed her weight back with her arm and walked off again as if she couldn't hear them. This was better anyway, she told herself. She wanted free from the duels, she wanted her life back. Since the winning of the rose bride she had been exhausted from fighting and her life became not much else then dueling. She had more freedom. That was meant for someone else, though.

:Since you been gone I can do whatever I want:

:I can see whomever I choose :

She didn't have to play the role of 'Prince' anymore; she could finally be an 'ordinary girl'. Like Wakaba, an ordinary girl who longed for her prince. She was no longer 'engaged' to anyone, no more "Utena-sama" all the time. But then why was she so miserable?

:I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant:

:But nothing :

:I said nothing can take away these blues :

No more worrying about food poisoning, she thought with a sad, almost smiling, expression. Anthy was a horrible cook, but she had been learning. They had tried new things together, just the other day she had cooked that wonderful lunch for her. Anthy had looked so happy when Wakaba remarked about it.

:`Cause nothing compares:

:Nothing compares to you:

Utena wondered how long it had been since she had eaten and observed distantly that she was hungry. She ordered take out and began to walk home. The once threatening rain fell down from the sky with purpose now. All the shops looked abandoned to her, and as a car sped by she remembered how Anthy stood so close to her side the first time she took her into town. It had been spring and the air had been so new and fragrant then, the flowers so lovely. Like Anthy.

:It's been so lonely without you here:

:Like a bird without a song :

She stopped almost regretfully, or at least her legs stopped walking used to this habitual route. Why had she gone this way just to torture herself? The green house, with its gilded bars and glass panes, sparkled from rain drops and her eyes strained to see inside.

Empty, like her heart.

She was glad it had been raining; she blamed it for the fresh warm drops running down her cheek.

:Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling:

:Tell me baby where did I go wrong :

Utena pushed onward walking quickly now, it wasn't of her concern anymore. Touga relieved her of that. She went through the gate and her eyes caught sight of the once thriving rose vines, now twisted and growing wild, choking each other in their natural will to survive. It caused them to wilt in the effort, unkempt from their recent master's lack of attention.

'Himemiya... our roses are dying." She thought distantly.

:All the flowers that you planted, mama:

:In the back yard :

:All died when you went away :

She looked up and saw through the rain soaked windows some lights were on in the house and her heart beat quickened. She went inside and raced up the stairs to her room; her and Anthy's room, flinging the door open. It hit the wall with a startling bang of wood hitting wood. Her eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room, thick like velvet. She saw someone jump and stand a little surprised, a once ripped and disregarded uniform slipped from their lap onto the floor.

"Himemyia!..."

:I could put my arms around every boy I see:

:But they'd only remind me of you :

She stepped into the room and reached out slightly with one hand, her heart sank.

"Utena, there you are. I was worried; I called but no one answered. So, I came over to check up on you. The door was unlocked." The figure said as they switched on their little desk lamp, the room flooded with fluorescent light, which pierced the darkness rudely.

"Wakaba... Sorry for worrying you. I was out."

"Its okay, everyone gets hungry. You should have told me you went to get dinner, I would have joined you." She tried an easy going smile but if Utena was paying attention to anything around her she could have seen from her features that Wakaba was still unconvinced about her friend's unusual behavior lately.

The soaked through pink haired girl plopped the bag down on their table and after a minute sat. "I needed the time to think, anyway."

Struggling to keep her self intact from asking a million questions at once Wakaba sat also and tried again for normal conversation.

"It smells good... What is it?"

"It's Curry, I think..." She words seemed painful all of a sudden.

"Listen, I don't know what's going on with you lately but I'm worried about you, Utena. You haven't been in class; you haven't even left this room much, either." She thought a minute and looked around as if for the first time, realizing something. "Where's Himemiya?"

"She moved out."

The smaller brown haired girl gasped looking suddenly angry on behalf for her best friend. "What, did you guys have a fight or something? If she did anything just tell me and I'll-"

Utena looked up at her suddenly, a little harshly. "She didn't do anything!" She looked away as if to apologize and the bag of curry blurred before her eyes as tears threatened. "Listen, thank you for your concern but you couldn't understand what's going on, even if I could tell you."

Utena felt the fleeting warmth of material from Wakaba's lap hit her own suddenly and saw that it was her uniform, carefully sewn back to perfection.

"You're wrong, Tenjou Utena. I know a lot of things." Her voice seemed wounded, pleading as if asking for the realization of their severed or non- existent bond to be reversed. "I know you, and this, this isn't you!"

She went to the door with her hand lingering on the knob.

"If you want to shut yourself in like this, that's your choice. But you should get out and live again." Wakaba's voice softened in acquaintance. "You haven't picked up a basket ball in days and the team is suffering for it... See you around, Utena" The door shut and echoed like a verdict.

:I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me:

:Guess what he told me :

:He said girl you better try to have fun :

:No matter what you do :

:But he's a fool :

She took up her repaired uniform strangely and held it to her chest, glancing up at a photograph taken of her and Anthy, with a choice in her eyes.

:`Cause nothing compares:

:Nothing compares to you:

She reached out across the table and slipped her rose signet back on her left hand, the ring was a sharp contrast against her skin but it distracted her from the pain in her heart enough to realize what she must do.

:I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard:

:But I'm willing to give it another try :

She made herself eat some of the food while she thought about what her next plains would be. It would be morning in a few hours, and when the time came...

She would challenge Touga to a duel and win Anthy back.

:Cause nothing compares :

:Nothing compares to you:

~ * ~
~ La Fin ~