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A/N: I own none of this. Honest. Nope, not me.

Harry Potter and the Trademark Dispute.



Chapter 1 - Payback



Harry Potter was an angry young man.



As usual, he was trapped for the summer in his usual cell at #4 Privet lane, but that wasn't what was making him so angry.



As usual Albus Dumbledore, leader of the light, Headmaster, Supreme Mugwump, Holder of the Order of Merlin First Class, and all around clueless schmuck had restricted him to his usual cell at #4 Privet Lane and had decreed that he receive no communications from his friends, but that was not what was making him so angry.



As usual, his only living relatives Vernon and Petunia Dursley as well as their son Dudley were being right bastards. Abuse screamed at him, food was infrequent and in short supply, and the chores assigned that would make a galley slave refuse to show up for work. However, that was not what was making him so angry.



As usual Tom Riddle was attacking him mentally every time his defenses flagged, like when he attempted to get some sleep. Even that was not what was making him so angry.



The source of his anger was Riddle's latest outrage directed toward Harry. Harry had been experiencing one of the few true joys of mid adolescence, the happily hormone driven sex dream. In this dream, during his happily unexplained and unexplainable Hogwarts All House All Time Sweaty Naked Wrestling Championship match with Hermione Granger, Padma Patil, Hannah Abbot, and Daphne Greengrass, the girl all suddenly had Bellatrix Lestrange's face and all started taunting him in her silly baby talk way all the while Riddle was laughing at him in the background. Needless to say 'little Harry' was instantly much less happy. What kind of unspeakable bastard would do that?



Needless to say, Harry Potter was pissed. Tom Riddle was going to pay for this. Oh, he was going to pay.



It was time to show that Snake faced bastard just who he was messing with. It was time for the Big Guns. It was time for Hermione Granger to finally be let out of the box. It was Dark Lord Hunting season, and Hermione would have no bag limit. May God have mercy on Riddle's soul, because Hermione most certainly would not.