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Theme: "4. our distance and that person"
Title: "Purest Hatred"
Fandom: Trigun
Pairing: Knives x Vash
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 730
Warnings: Twincest, violence, implied shota NCS
Summary: Knives's POV on Rem, Vash, love, and hate. This fic is inspired by lilithisbitter's fic "Joie
De Vivre." Check it out, will you?


"Purest Hatred"


That evil creature can barely be called "human," as loathsome and vile as it is. I
cannot believe the ignorance of my youth, that I too once looked up to it, once respected it. When
it died in a burst of flames, I finally knew what true happiness was.

A vain, shallow, ignorant spider, it was with us from the beginning of our lives,
meddling under the guise of "protecting." The only debt of gratitude I owed to it was that it saved
our lives when we were cherubs. I believe I paid that debt long ago, by not killing it the moment
that I discovered that I had more power than it could ever hope to possess.

It was not Joey. I held a grudging admiration for that insect, as he at least
understood that sometimes one has to kill to survive, and as he taught me so much of what he
knew and what I now know, and what I would use to kill him. He, at least, had the sense to
recognize that we, Vash and I, were different.

It was not even Steve, though he disgusted me and eventually provoked me to
orchestrate his own death with his beatings of my precious brother and his abuse of me.
Nevertheless, I can understand frustration, the desire to have something that is so far away, so
unreachable. I can understand need and having to substitute something available for something
distant. I now find myself doing the same with Legato, although I allowed him the luxury of being
old enough to enjoy our encounters. After all, I am an angel, not a human, and most certainly not
a pedophile.

No. It was that cruel enchantress Rem Saverem. It, from the beginning, decided
to take my treasure, my beloved brother, my Vash, away from me. I at first thought, in the
innocence and foolish stupidity of youth, that we could coexist, the three of us, like some sort of
family. That was not to happen.

Instead, it began to fill his heart and mind with these saccharine thoughts, with
the vain activities and philosophies of youth. I saw what it was trying to do from the beginning: it
was trying to make him human. It wanted to make him act like them, able to blend in with them
and to live without me. It knew, even in its deluded state of being, that we were angels, but it
wanted to divest us of our existence as avengers, turning us into the fluffy creatures from the
human books.

The place of a guardian is to kill. It is not to love and protect, as it began to tell
us ad nauseam, and as Vash ate up like a cat licking up a dish of milk. We were meant to kill the
humans, crush them as insects under our feet, and retire to our rest with our sisters providing for
us.

I first decided to introduce Vash to the relationship we needed when we were
nine months old, the equivalent of the insects' ten years of life. I had read in the books that a kiss
was a symbol of love, so I read for weeks on how to kiss properly, how to make this the best kiss
ever. If nothing else, I am a stickler for detail.

We shared the same bath still at this age, for there was only one bath aboard
Alpha Ship. I waited for it to leave the room, then, at the end of our bath, we kissed. I was so
overcome with love for him as he blushed and pulled away, and I reached for him again.

Then it walked into the room, looked shocked, and actually dragged us apart. It
told me that I was doing something very bad, that incest was wrong, and it had the nerve, the
gall to ask if someone was hurting me. Could it understand absolutely nothing about love? I loved
him and only wanted to show him how much, and it said watching us made it feel sick and
disgusted.

I told it that it was hurting both of us, slapped it, and cried the whole day I was
exiled to one room. That was the day I decided I would kill it. Nothing, no distance, and certainly
no /human/, would ever again separate us and live.