FicWad

Payback's A Bitch



Disclaimer: - I don't own Harry Potter, JKR does. If I did, Fred would have lived and Delores would have died.



Thank you to my betas - Claire, Adam, Nick and Reyad. Without your input this would be utter rubbish.



A/N - with regards to what people look like in this story, I will be using the movies as a basis. For example, Dumbledore will look like Richard Harris, not like the hack they replaced him with. The exchange rate will be 10 Pounds for 1 galleon.



It should also be noted that there will be some changes from canon as to how things work. I will explain each case as it occurs. So this can be considered a partial alternate universe. For example, House Elves cannot transport people or animals, only other House Elves.



Chapter 2 - Death Of A Lover



Saturday, June 30



It was just after 9pm and the streets in the village of Hogsmead were empty. There were a few lights on, which Harry guessed came from the two village pubs. After a quick sweep of the surrounding area, Harry landed near the Shrieking Shack; there was nobody around to notice. He snuck over to the shack and leaned his broom against it. He whispered the Footfall Charm and quickly moved inside.



Harry quickly found that he couldn't see a damn thing. He cast the Lumos spell and the tip of his wand lit up. He kept his mind focused and checked each room. When the coast was clear, he relaxed a little and grumbled about the pathetic effort he had just put in. He would definitely look up a way to see in the dark and to check for enemies nearby. For that matter the idea of using his wand, his main weapon, as a bloody torch was plain ridiculous. There had to be some magical version of a torch available. His wand was for cursing Death Eaters, not waving a light about. By Merlins hairy balls, he couldn't even cast another spell, when he had Lumos going on his wand, without dropping the spell first.



Harry doused the light and grabbed his broom. Once the door was shut and locked, he lit his wand again. He then took out the Marauders Map and checked his surroundings. There was no one in the surrounding area or anywhere near his favourite secret entrance to Hogwarts. He did a quick scan of the grounds and found the castle was empty accept for the staff room, which was full. Harry shrunk his broom and put it in his pocket with a frown. There had to be a better way to carry his broom around, for that matter his wand as well. Harry filed this away to look into later. Harry checked that he was fully covered by his Invisibility Cloak then added a Disillusionment Charm to ensure his wand arm was covered. He made his way into the tunnel and towards the Whomping Willow.



Harry got to the base of the bloody menace of a tree and quickly stuck his head out. He was lucky he was fast otherwise his head would have been squished before he could bring it back into the tunnel. As it was he got aspray of dirt over him. It seemed that the Willow could sense him even under his Invisibility Cloak and Spell, or maybe it just saw the light from his wand and almost got lucky. He would have to speak to Neville about that some time.



Harry gathered up some rocks and sticks that were nearby. With a "Nox", the light on his wand disappeared. In an effort to be silent, Harry whispered "Depulso" and Banished the rocks and sticks at the Willows 'off button.' He immediately noticed that the whispered spell worked, but was quite weak and it missed the target. It took him several tries before he managed to hit the right spot hard enough. His accuracy, power and control with that spell really did suck. Well those were all things to work on, as they could be damn useful.



Little did Harry know, but the entrance he chose was also known to the Headmaster. This entrance was heavily spelled and warded. It was next to impossible for a Death Eater, Dark Wizard or Dark Creature to enter. They would have to take the wards down first and that would have alerted the Headmaster. There were also alarms to alert the headmaster if any other creature or person entered this way. The only ones permitted to enter or exit were the Hogwarts staff and students. Harry fit that bill, so he could enter. Harry entered unaware of the nest of magic he passed; while Dumbledore continued to drink on, none the wiser.



*



Every year, on the final day of term, the Hogwarts staff had the annual end of year party. It was a night filled with food, drink, stories and laughter. They used the staff room as it was a more intimate setting compared to the great hall. This was when they could finally let their hair down in one big blow out. It was an event that they all looked forward too, even the anti-social teachers and caretakers. There were the usual party chatter and discussions, plus each would tell their favourite stories of the year about their students and the various antics they got up to. The Ghosts and Portraits would also participate and often had the best tales to tell.



This year, however, was different. This year they had lost astudent, Voldemort was back and darkness had fallen, again. There was very little laughter and more than a few tears. Sure there was food, but very few ate much at all. The drink on the other hand was consumed in epic proportions. Many atoast was made the fallen Triwizard Champion, Cedric Diggory. This had the added effect of getting everyone shit-faced, not that many people minded. The only ones, who did mind, happened to be Ghosts or Portraits.



Once the food was finished it came time for the story telling to begin. In honour of Cedric Diggory, each would tell at least one tale involving him, any other story was optional. By the time Harry was making his way through the tunnel from the Shrieking Shack, it was time for The Bloody Baron to tell his tale.



The Bloody Baron's real name was Alphonse Gaylord Gayoli. No one, not even the Headmaster knew his name and it would stay that way too. He was a prick at the best of times and enjoyed his reputation, but if anyone found out what his name was it would be a disaster of epic proportions. At least that was what Alphonse thought. In the past, many people found his name funny, Alphonse did not. Many a duel was fought and as the corpses piled up, he gained a new name, 'The Bloody Baron.' Alphonse began his tale "All I have to say about Diggory is, at least he managed to tap that sweet thang Cho Chang, real good."



This tale, while very short, caused the room to erupt. Pomona and Filius were on their feet yelling and denying their students would do such athing. However, with Filius, you couldn't tell if he was standing or sitting on his pile of books. Albus twinkled, hiccuped, slurred and then twinkled again. Argus and Severus were scowling, no surprise there. Hagrid's laughter was booming out and he was swaying slightly. The swaying was slight for someone like Hagrid, but to others it could be considered widely gyrating. That was the reason his Goblin Ale was sloshing out of his mug. In addition to the blasphemous act of spilling alcohol, it managed to fall upon another person. Currently Minerva had pursed her lips into a straight line and was frowning at the story. As soon as the drink hit the side of her head, she shot to her feet with her wand out, eyes burning with righteous, completely inebriated, fury.



Many portraits were laughing and some of the other teachers were smirking after Alphonse's comments and the ensuing blow up. The smirking turned to outright laughter at the sight of the prim and proper Scottish lady unleashing a verbal tirade against a half Giant three times her size, seated. Most had never seen Minerva angry, let alone drunk and angry. The laughter continued until the fierce Witch turned her gaze towards them. One second under the glare of the formidable woman was enough to steal the laughter from them quicker than a Dementor could.



By this stage Pomona and Filius had wound down slightly and one evil Ghost prepared his ending salvo. Alphonse said loudly "I was only joking." Everyone turned to look at him incredulously. Where in the name of Merlin had that Ghost stolen a sense of humour from? Alphonse continued about two seconds later "Cho Chang is certainly not a sweet thang. She's much too young for me."



This brought about a sound never before heard by any in the room. It took a few moments before it sunk in, as to exactly what was happening. Severus Snape was laughing! This had the effect of silencing any other comments that were about to be made. The greasy git had the attention of the whole room. The reactions were varied, from outright cringing in fear, to twinkling and smirking. There was one thing everyone agreed upon though; this was a sure sign of the Apocalypse.



When Severus wound down, Albus brought order back to the proceedings. He said in a slightly panicked voice "Baron, when did this occur?"Alphonse responded, "Just after the new year."



Filius could be heard quite clearly breathing a sigh of relief. Albus said "I take it that Miss Chang was 16 at the time then?" Filius nodded his head. Albus continued, "Well that's a relief, the last thing the school needs right now is a law suit. For that matter, Baron, why didn't you notify anyone when this occurred?"



Alphonse ignored the pissed glare Albus sent him and replied,"You mean besides annoying you?" Albus' glare deepened. Alphonse continued, "In my day, she would have been married with two kids by that age. These modern laws are a load of rubbish."



Albus sighed and shook his head. He took his glasses off his face and rubbed his eyes. After he placed them back on his head he said, "Despite anyone's personal feelings, it is against school rules for students to have sex while on school grounds. See that it doesn't happen again. The two students were both prefects and should be the ones stopping this sort of thing. It sets a very bad example to the other students. Minerva, will you ensure no couples ever patrol together please? Filius, I trust you will find a replacement prefect for Miss Chang?"



Minerva and Filius both agreed. Minerva took this subject very seriously. There would be no sex while she was on watch. Filius on the other hand, didn't mind so much. Sure he protested with the best of them and got on his soap box a lot, but that was mostly an act. He had often let the older students off with warnings when he caught them in broom closets. Restricting one of the finest things in life was, in his opinion, fucking ridiculous, not to mention blasphemous.



After receiving agreements from the two, Albus continued, "If everyone will top up their drinks, we can move on to Friar Tuck, if of coarse the Baron has no other tale to tell?" Alphonse replied in the negative and drinks were refilled.



Friar Tuck moved forward so everyone could see him properly, although how anyone could miss him with that girth was anybodies guess. Tiberius Tuck began his tale "I will only be telling one tale tonight, regarding Mr Diggory and Mr Potter." At this point a snort could be heard followed by some mumbled swearing. After a quick stern glance from Albus, Severus shut up.



Tiberius said "I was roaming the halls one night, about half an hour after curfew, when I heard what sounded like humming or singing."Tiberius had to stop again until murmurs and mutters stopped. Only the words'Potter brat', 'curfew' and 'father' could be made out.



Tiberius continued "I went to investigate and as I moved closer, I noticed some light up ahead. The light was definitely moving and the sound was some type of song or tune. As I got closer I could make it out a bit more. Potter and Diggory were playing some sort of sneaking game. One of them would say something like 'your mission should you choose to accept it, is to get to the bottom of the stairs, without being found.' Then as this was happening the other one would emulate some type of music, then they would swap again. This went on a couple of times before I moved in closer. When I did, Iheard 'Deep Gnome' get called out. The light disappeared and there was no sound. I moved closer and searched for them, but found nothing."



During this tale there were two distinct loud responses. The first was from the Muggle Studies Professor, Charity Burbage, who started to laugh. The second response came from Filius and it was an astonished 'What!'



Charity had caught the reference the television show, Mission Impossible. She explained the spy concept and even hummed the tune. Tiberius excitedly exclaimed that it was indeed the same tune that he heard. There was an equal mixture of confusion and amusement at the clarification.



Filius told everyone about why he exclaimed the way he did. Being half Goblin, he had a great amount of knowledge regarding anything underground. He explained how the Deep Gnome's were actually once a race of magical beings. There had been no sign of them for over 500 years and it was concluded that they were a dead race. Deep Gnomes were incredibly stealthy and when underground, they could go still and blend in perfectly to their surroundings. They essentially could turn invisible at will. Filius was shocked that Cedric or Harry found out about this, it was a very obscure piece of knowledge, and not even Albus knew it.



Tiberius eventually continued his tale "I couldn't find any sign of the two of them. I lingered around the halls for a couple of hours before I heard them again. Mr Diggory was proclaiming the benefits of the Firebolt Broom and Mr Potter was grumbling about getting him next time. From their conversation I could tell they had been flying against each other and had even swapped Brooms. I don't think this was the first time they did this and Idoubt it was the last."



Those who were close to Harry had mixed reactions regarding this story. On one hand he was breaking curfew as well as flying at night, which was dangerous. On the other hand he had made friends with a competitor as well as a different House member. So there was some pride and happiness mixed with annoyance.



For the person in the room who hated Harry, there was a very different response. He hated Harry even more. It was just one more nail in the coffin as far as he was concerned. Fucking Potter ruined a perfectly good piss-up. Now he had to drown this feeling in even more alcohol. Potter was giving him a hangover and he must pay for it. Oh yes that little shit would pay and pay dearly.



*



Once Harry was inside the castle he made his way to Myrtle's bathroom. When he got there, he quickly cast a Silence Charm over the entrance. He then took off his invisibility cloak and cancelled the spells he had on himself. From one of the toilet cubicles he heard "Who's there? Go away!"



Harry smirked and said "Ooh I love it when you talk dirty baby."As soon as he said that, a Ghost rushed out through the cubicles squealing"Hhaarrrrrrryyyy."



Floating right in front of Harry was the ghost of Serena Myrtle, Harry's lover. She said "Harry you came to visit me! I didn't have to come to you, you came to me! That means so much to me!"



Harry grinned very widely and said "Baby, that's nothing. I'm moving in!" He had to cover his ears as Serena squealed again, very loudly. She was flitting around him almost bouncing in excitement.



Once again Serena was back in Harry's face. She babbled at him "That's fantastic, you moving in. That means we can have sex all the time. How will you fit in my toilet, you aren't a ghost? How did you get here, school is finished?"



When she stopped talking, she noticed the look on Harry's face. It was kind of glazed and he had a strange smile on his face. She got his attention by poking him through the eye. He responded with a 'GAH.' When he recovered, she asked, "What were you doing?"



Harry smirked at her and said "Just imagining all the sex we are going to have." Serena giggled and then responded with a hungry look of her own. Just before she pounced on him she remembered something, he hadn't answered her questions yet. She assumed the position that all women are taught at puberty. The one were they cross their arms, tap their foot and look at you with a perfect blend of disdain and expectation. It was The Look that shouts'I'm waiting' louder than any mere words ever could.



Harry crumbled into immediate submission and said, "Ok. Ok!No need to look at me like that. Is it my fault that you can turn me on with acouple of words?" Serena smiled again and relaxed the look, feeling victorious. Meanwhile, Harry hid a smile himself about how he could defeat 'The Look' with just a few words.



Harry said, "Ok, as to how I got here, I left my 'family' and flew here. I snuck into the school, using my awesome powers of sneakiness." This got a giggle and he continued, "As for having sex all the time, you better believe it baby! Now, the matter of your toilet, it is too small. I won't be staying in your toilet precisely, but rather your bathroom will be my front door."



Serena asked, "Why did you leave your family?" Harry replied"I was a sitting duck at that hell hole. There were wards that were meant to protect me, but they are now useless. I am just glad I figured it out before Iwas attacked. Hogwarts is the safest place for me to be, especially where I am moving to. Plus I wanted to see you again." Harry finished with a grin and waggling eyebrows.



Serena said "I hope you have plenty of energy, with no one around, we won't be constrained by time." Harry absently loosened his top button. Was it his imagination or was it hot in here.



Before Harry went any further, Serena said, "You have alluded to where you are going to live, but you haven't actually told me. So spit it out already so we can get to the fun bits."



Harry moved over to her then turned to face the set of sinks. He smirked at her and said, "Here is my front door" He then hissed "Open"in Parseltongue. The ring of sinks spread apart to reveal entrance to the Chamber of Secrets.



Serena peered over Harry's shoulder and said, "You are going to live in there? You went in there once before and so did that other girl. What's down there?"



Harry turned and peered at her intensely for almost aminute. Serena was getting a bit uncomfortable under the scrutiny. Finally Harry said, "We never did discuss what happened down there did we? Did you ever hear about The Chamber of Secrets?"



Serena answered "I remember there was some talk of it when Iwas alive. There was also some talk a few years ago. I never paid it much attention. I don't really socialise with the other ghosts or students. What's going on Harry?"



Harry sighed then went and sat down on his trunk. Harry gathered his thoughts and told Serena all about The Chamber, the Basilisk, Riddle and Voldemort. It was a lot to take in and Serena was left a little stunned. She had, after all just been told exactly how she had died.



Finally Serena spoke, "It has taken 50 years, but I finally have the answer I have waited for. Not knowing how or why I died is one of the reasons I didn't cross over. Well, that and haunting Olive Hornby." The last was said with a hint of smug spite.



Serena moved closer to Harry. As she did, she started changing. Her normally white colour changed to gold. She said, "Harry you truly are my hero. Not only did you slay the snake that killed me, you also stopped the man who set it upon me. Thank you so much Harry! I have really enjoyed our time together but I have to go. The locks that kept me tied to this Plane are gone and my spirit is being called home."



The glow around Serena grew brighter and larger. She floated over to him and gave him a gentle kiss. Strangely, Harry didn't feel the cold like he normally would when a ghost passed through him. In fact he felt kind of warm.



Serena pulled back from Harry and floated just in front of him. She glowed brighter and brighter until he had to cover his eyes. Suddenly the glow disappeared and so did Serena Myrtle. When Harry removed his hand, the room was empty.



He just sat there for a long time. Tears fell from his face as he slowly came to realise that she really was gone. She was really dead. He smiled ruefully at that thought, a Ghost was really dead. But she wasn't just any Ghost, she was 'his' Ghost. Tears came again.



Harry had encountered death before and it was bad, very bad. This time, he felt a little differently. When someone died it was tragic. When Serena moved on, it was but at the same time it wasn't. She somehow seemed more than she was before. It was right that she moved on, but that didn't stop the pain. He missed her immensely and that hurt.







Flashback



It was the night of the Yule Ball. Harry had endured atumultuous night so far. The Ball itself was bad enough then, just as he was leaving, Oli (Oliver Wood) had grabbed him and dragged him into a class room. Oli then proceeded to give Harry 'The talk.' Now it was not the normal Talk, but included a severe dressing down for missing a golden opportunity with ahottie that happened to be a twin no less.



The talk and instructional guide to women had gone into enough depth that it left Harry in desperate need of a drink. Harry stumbled off in search of the Weasley Twins. Surely one of them would have something to drink. He eventually found Fred, using the Marauders Map.



Harry barged into the room that Fred and his date Angelina were in. He was very lucky that he didn't get hexed. It was probably the dumbfounded look on his face that saved him. Harry blurted out "Oli just gave me 'The talk'! I need a drink." The couple found this quite funny, but did share the grog they had, with him.



Harry eventually got booted out of the room. It seems that offence was taken when he commented on how much he liked Angelina's breasts and then asked for a feel. It was only the fact that he was three sheets to the wind and had trouble seeing straight that kept him from being hexed that time. Although Fred did give him a boot to the arse as he was propelled from the room.



The only thing left to do now was find George. Once more using the Map, he tracked down George. The bastard had put a lock on the door. It took Harry about five minutes to get the door open, what with having to turn off the light and aim in the dark not to mention get the words to the spell right and everything.



He finally got the door open and looked inside. It took him a few moments to figure out what he was seeing. It was the beast with two backs. Alicia, Georges date was on top playing hide the sausage. It looked like a lot of fun, so Harry asked to join in. Unfortunately as he said that he tripped over himself and fell down. For some strange reason the door closed in his face.



Harry learnt something very important about himself then. It seems that getting pissed also got Harry very, very horny. So he set out to find a quiet spot to have a tug. He eventually stumbled into the nearest bathroom, which just happened to belong to Moaning Myrtle. He found a stall, put his wand on the paper dispenser and proceeded to pull himself stupid.



Unbeknownst to Harry, his noises and light attracted the attention of Myrtle, who stuck her head in for a look. What she found was ahalf naked Harry wanking like there was no tomorrow. It was the most erotic sight she had ever seen.



It wasn't so much the fact that it was wanking she was watching, but rather who and where it was. Harry was the only person she had perved on that actually spoke to her. Added to that, he had come to 'her toilet.'



It didn't take long before she was going to town on herself as well. It was a little known fact, but Ghosts could actually masturbate themselves as well as remove their clothes. At first glance this concept is impossible, but when you consider that the largest sexual organ in the human body is the brain, it becomes a plausible.



When Harry finished his first effort, it took him a while to come to his inebriated senses. When he did, he thought he was dreaming. Poking out of the toilet wall was a girl. Now normally that would have freaked him out, but he was a bit distracted. The objects of his distraction were a pair of very perky breasts, less than a foot away from his face. This had a definite affect on the Potter Tool and in no time at all we was into his second effort of the evening.



Harry eventually made it to bed and was woken up at an ungodly hour by a whinging red head. All he heard through the jackhammers pounding away in his skull was something to do with breakfast. That thought sent him rushing to the bathroom to pray to the porcelain god.



Fred Weasley found him a short while later, resting against the, oh so cool toilet bowl, passed out. There were bits of corn all over the place, which was strange considering he hadn't eaten corn in weeks. Fred cleaned him up then woke him. After holding Harry's head over the bowl for him, he made him drink a couple of potions.



Now normally Harry wouldn't have touched anything Fred gave him with a ten foot barge pole, but he was in no condition to refuse at the moment. Harry was lucky that Fred felt some responsibility for giving Harry his first drink and consequent hangover. Hence the potions Harry had poured down his throat were a Hangover Cure and a Pepper-Up Potion. Fred then left Harry to get his shit together, with a big grin and whistling the Gryffindor victory song.



Feeling much better, Harry proceeded to the shower. Sometime in the middle of the shower and morning wank, he was brought face to face with a very familiar sight. It was a pair of very perky breasts, about a foot from his face. Showing true class, the first thing Harry did was try to grab them, only to have his hands go straight through them. His exclamation of 'Gah'elicited giggles from the breasts owner, Serena Myrtle.



Once Harry got over his initial embarrassment and the evening's activities were reintroduced to his brain, the mutual masturbation session continued. He got some very odd looks when he left the bathroom for his(her) high pitched moans. He was also told quite firmly, to silence his shower, like every other considerate wizard in the school.



That was the start of the Harry and Serena relationship. Practically every morning, they would share some time together and even some evenings. Harry became known as the cleanest male Gryffindor, although he claimed that all the training he did warranted the extra showers. No one seemed to believe him, due to the length of time he spent in there.



Harry ended up fully silencing and barricading his shower door each time he was in there. Someone with red hair thought it was funny to barge in on him at various times. When he slammed the door in Georges face, the prankster didn't even have the grace to fall down, like he had.



The relationship was going along quite well and the mutual masturbations got Harry's mind going in perverted and kinky directions. One time as both were nearing their respective orgasms, Harry grabbed his Holly Wand in his other hand. Serena was floating in front of his face, two fingers in her pussy and thumb rubbing her clit. Her other hand was tweaking her nipples. Right as they were both cumming, Harry shoved his wand in her pussy and gasped out "Expecto Patronum."



The resulting Patronus was huge. It completely filled the shower engulfing both Ghost and Wizard. It was however constrained by the cubicles walls. The effect was fuelled by pure bliss and was much stronger than the Harry's normal, prodigious Patronus. It also had the effect of multiplying the pleasure of both their orgasms immensely. It brought a whole new level to the sex play.



Of course it soon got back to George W that Harry's special 'solo'cuddles were now producing a light show. Being a prankster and still feeling an urge for some payback, George decided to get Harry in front of a crowd, at the breakfast table. When Harry came down to breakfast, the only seat open was near George, surrounded by girls, including Alicia, Angelina and Hermione. George asked, "So Harry is it true that at the climax of your showers you shoot a bolt of lightning?"



Harry's reaction proved without a doubt that he was a true Potter and the son of a Marauder. He looked at George like he was completely retarded for even thinking such a thing. Actually he had learnt that look from Hermione, being on the end of it a few times. After that look he said in a voice that was dripping disdain, "Don't you know anything? The sun really does shine out of my arse."



The table broke up into laughter at that point. Fred got abit choked up, with pride at ickle Harryikins progress. Hermione swatted him in the shoulder, while blushing. Even Alicia and Angelina enjoyed the turnabout. George got over it pretty much then and there and turned his eye on greener tables.



End Flashback







Harry finished his reminiscing and stood up. He looked at life, love and death differently now. Not all death was bad, love should be enjoyed as much as possible as life was short and could be taken away at any moment. Essentially it meant living as much as possible each day until you died.



With that thought in mind, Harry changed his plan slightly. He wasn't going to spend the whole summer alone; he was going to develop afriendship. Actually, Harry was going to try and develop a lot more relationships, not just friendships. But those relationships would have to wait; Serena's passing was still too fresh. So that meant friendships were the order of the night.



Harry braced himself and called out "Dobby." There was aloud crack and an instant later his legs were being crushed in the arms of the house elf. Dobby looked up at him, shaking with pleasure and said "Harry Potter sir. You called Dobby."



Patting the excited elf on the shoulder Harry said "Hello Dobby, how are you?" This caused the Elf to hug his legs even harder and exclaim, "Harry Potter is the greatest wizard in the world. He asks Dobby how he is. Dobby is wonderful and happy to see Harry Potter sir.'



Harry couldn't help but smile at the Elf. Dobby sure was one of a kind. He eventually pried Dobby from his legs and said, "I wanted to thank you for helping me earlier tonight." That was as far as he got before Dobby wailed, "Oh the great Harry Potter sir has thanked Dobby. WAHHHH!"



Smiling wider at the little elf, Harry waited and then said"Dobby I have something I would like to ask you." Dobby excitedly jumped from foot to foot and said, "Anything for Harry Potter sir."



Harry got down on his knees to look Dobby in the eyes and said "Dobby are you happy working at Hogwarts?" Dobby replied "Dobby is happy working here. Dobby even gets paid and time off."



Harry smiled and said, "Ok that's good. How much do you get paid and how much time off? Are you locked in to work for a set time or could you leave if you got a better offer?"



Dobby's heart started to beat a little faster. He really hoped this would lead where his soul yearned to go. He replied with pride "I gets one sickle a week and one day off a month. I could leave any time."



Harry was shocked. That was almost slave labour. It reminded Harry of his childhood way too much. That would just not do. Harry said "Dobby I want to hire you to work for me. I will give you a pay raise and more time off."



Dobby was torn. On one hand he almost did cartwheels when he heard Harry Potter wanted to hire him. Then he crashed down when he heard about the pay rise. Harry Potter didn't value him. Dobby said "Dobby doesn't want Harry Potters money, Dobby just wants to be Harry Potters Elf." Dobby had his hands clasped in front of him and he was standing awkwardly on one foot when he said this. His face was tilted down and he was looking at Harry though his lashes. In other words he was giving Harry the puppy dog eyes look.



Harry was hit by the look and felt his outrage crumble. He had to act before it was completely gone. He said quickly, "What you were being paid is an outrage. I value you too much to pay you that little. As for being my Elf, I thought you liked being free. I would never enslave you Dobby, Iwould much rather be your friend."



That signalled the start of the water works again. Harry gazed at the ceiling and sighed, at least Dobby wasn't trying to punish himself. Dobby eventually said, "Dobby likes being free, but only because it means that he might become Harry Potter's Elf. You really means I am value to you? You want to be friend?"



Harry said "Yes Dobby. I don't like slavery or exploitation. I would never do that to you. I would also very much like to be your friend. Ishould have done this year's ago, I am sorry."



Harry was hit by the famous Dobby glomp again. This time the glomp was a bit higher as Dobby had jumped at the last moment. Dobby said from Harry's stomach "I will accept payment if you wish it as long as I can be your Elf."



The hug aside, this stuck Harry as very odd. Why on earth did Dobby want to be his Elf so desperately? Harry asked "Dobby, why do you want to be my Elf so badly?"



Dobby answered "Elves need to be bonded to wizards. I always wanted to be Harry Potter's Elf from when I first heard of you. Old master was very bad and Harry Potter is very good."



Harry thought to himself, now we are getting somewhere. He said, "Ok I will bond with you Dobby. But first tell me why Elves need to be bonded to wizards please?"



Dobby was beside himself. His dream was about to come true. He said, "The reason is something that hasn't been spoken about in a long time. Wizards forgot about it and Elves don't mention it, for fear or things getting worse. If an Elf is bonded, they live a long life, several hundreds of years. If Elves are not bonded they live no more than five years."



Harry was gobsmacked. That explained so much. It was why Elves would put up with the shit their owners put on them. To do otherwise meant death. He asked, "How did all this happen? Surely you weren't always bonded to wizards?"



Dobby answered, "Thousands of years ago, Elves were bonded to their trees. We lived in the forest and lived very different lives. Then there came the war. The Elves fought against the Trolls in a war of extinction. The Trolls wiped out all of our trees and we were slowly dying off, regardless of how many Trolls we killed. We almost wiped them out, but we were too slow. We were dying of old age. Finally there were only two Elves left and that is when a wizard came along. They figured out a way to bond to Wizards and have done so ever since."



Harry descended deeper into gobsmackedness. He had learned more history in the last 30 seconds than he had in four years of lessons with Binns. He slowly digested what he had heard and then said, "Thankyou for trusting me with your history Dobby. I will do my best to help your people. Perhaps there is a way for Elves to bond with trees again."



Dobby sighed ruefully and said "Harry Potter is a great wizard, but all our trees are gone. They were special and could handle our magic drain. Other trees die very quickly."



Harry wished he had some sort of great quip to come up with, but sadly he had nothing. He spread his arms wide and said "I've got nothing, yet. Yet! Now how do we go about doing this bonding Dobby? It's all new to me."



At this point Dobby went berserk. He leapt at Harry in amassive hug. This knocked Harry over backwards onto the floor with Dobby clinging to his torso wailing and sobbing.



Harry had an odd thought during his rest on the bathroom floor. Dobby had hugged him more in the last 5 minutes than he had ever been hugged in his entire life, as far as he could remember. That cemented a place in Harry's heart for Dobby.



Harry finally got Dobby to release him and he got up. Harry said, "Ok Dobby, how do we do this?" Dobby said, "Dobby swears upon his life to serve Master Harry Potter and his descendants. He will serve until Dobby dies or master no longer wishes his service. Dobby swears his descendants to serve Harry Potter and his descendants."



Once the oath was said there was a red glow that came from Dobby and quickly surrounded Harry. It was like smoke, red smoke. It wafted around them both and Harry couldn't help but breathe it in. Once he did, he felt a connection with Dobby and a slight drain. The smoke then disappeared and he could see Dobby again



Before Harry could mention the wording of the bond, he noticed how Dobby looked. He blinked and then blinked again. Dobby had changed in a big way. Not only was he taller, by a good six inches, but he also had more meat on his bones. His skin had lost some of its green tinge and was closer to human skin now. The wrinkles had mostly disappeared and his ears were now closer to his head.



Dobby stretched a little bit and examined himself. When he was finished he grinned at his new master and said, "Dobby was right master, Harry Potter is a great wizard!"



Harry asked the question that anybody would in that situation, "What the fuck happened?" Dobby replied, "When we bonded, I drained some of your magic. It healed me and changed me. If a wizard is powerful, then their Elf is powerful too. If a wizard genuinely cares about their Elf, then the Elf's body shows that. Old master was weaker and mean. New master is powerful and cares for Dobby."



Harry smirked at the idea he was stronger than Lucius Malfoy. He looked at Dobby and said, "Of course I care about you Dobby; I said I wanted to be your friend and I meant it!" Whump! Harry was glomped again. This had more oomph behind it too. Harry returned the hug this time and could actually feel some of Dobby's emotions. It was really nice.



Harry extrapolated himself once again and asked, "So what is the story with the magic drain thing. Does it make my magic weaker? How does it work?" Dobby replied, "It happens once a month master. The drain doesn't affect your magic permanently; it is just like you have cast lots of spells."



Harry said, "Ok that's good to know. Now as for your wages and time off, I will find out what the going rate is for a human butler and we will go with that." This caused a temporary meltdown to occur with Dobby. The Elf had frozen with a deer caught in the headlights look.



Before the Elf could object Harry said, "It's only fair Dobby. I have the best Elf in the world, therefore you will be the best paid Elf in the world and everybody is going to know it. Actually, I think we will have to organise a uniform for you too. If you are going to be representing me, then you have to look the part. So when I get my new wardrobe, you will get one too. Now before you say anything, I am not dismissing you from my service, I am just looking out for you."



Dobby was stunned. He didn't know what to do or say. His new master thought him the best Elf in the world! He was going to be paid in more than just extra life! This was unheard of. He was going to be able to wear clothes and remain bonded, unbelievable.



Harry saw the steam coming out of Dobby's ears and feared abrain meltdown was occurring. He quickly distracted Dobby and said, "Dobby do you know what is down there?" He pointed down into The Chamber Of Secrets.



Dobby gathered his thoughts. His master had spoken to him. He had to focus right now. He shook his head and said, "No master, Dobby doesn't know. Dobby cannot tell what it is."



Harry responded, "That is where our new home is."





A/N - the Deep Gnome part came from AD&D, 2ndEd I think. Not mine but I enjoyed the world for many years.