FicWad

A/N: I do not own Harry Potter. But you knew that.



A/N2: This is an extremely AU 7th year fic. It ignores several aspects of HBP and all of DH. Dumbles is still around being the manipulative bastard he's always been. Snape is around. No Horocruxes, no Annotated Potions book. I have no idea where this came from, possibly a fic by someone else, there are, after all, very few actual original plots for Harry anymore, and this certainly isn't one. It's been done, but the muse behind this one has been bugging the hell out of me, so here goes:



Harry Potter and The Acts of Betrayal



Chapter One - Runaway Bride



She ran through the darkened streets. They had been waiting for her at her home. This had become a test of who knew the neighborhood better, someone who grew up here, or someone who occasionally patrolled the area. A long range stunning curse flew past her head as she ducked into an alley. At least they were still throwing stunners. They still wanted her alive. Why not? Dead she was worth nothing.



Terror filled her soul, but her mind was working, making associations, considering possibilities, plotting her path. Idea, reflection, decision. She saw a possibility for escape and ducked through the open gate.



The Wilkins were a Muggle family with 4 boys, all mad for sport. Their back garden should have something she could use. There. Perfect. She picked up the cricket bat and waited at the gate for her pursuers. She had no chance against them as a witch, but all three of them were clueless about all things Muggle. If she could take out the leader she stood a chance.



The three minutes she waited seemed like hours, but finally the gate latch lifted, the gate eased opened and a wand slowly came into view. She swung the bat with all her might and connected hard. Whomever she had hit fell to the ground with a soft moan. She swung and connected again. The Moaning stopped. She reached down and grasped the invisibility cloak, pulling it from the still form at her feet.



"Hullo Nymphadora." She whispered. "One would have thought your daddy would have taught you to play Muggle games like hide and seek better than this." The girl picked up the unconscious Auror's wand, and waved it acomplicated pattern, while silently mouthing a hex. The Auror's face became instantlydisfigured by a series of close-set purple pustules that had spread across her nose and cheeks to form the word /RAPIST/. "Lets see if your shape changing can get around this little hex."



She threw the recently liberated invisibility cloak over her shoulders, pocketed her newly acquired untrackable wand into a pocket and vanished from view. It was time to go to ground. Time to vanish. Revenge would be hers against those who had used her. The Wizarding World was about to get a lesson in the folly it was to cross Hermione Granger.



...---===ooo000ooo===---...



Harry Potter was having a very nice dream. A very naked Ginny Weasley was doing all sorts of kind and pleasant things to him. His dream self reached to cup her dream breasts and they felt... odd. At times they were hard like a half coconut, other times soft like a water filled balloon. His rational self's explanation for this was that he did not actually know what awoman's breast felt like. His dream self told his rational self to shut the hell up and let him get on with the fantasy, and suggested that the rational self get the hell off his ass and get that information as soon as possible so as to provide better, more realistic dreams.



So of course, his rational self pointed out that he was doing the best he could with what he had to work with, what with his moral self screwing everything up every time an opportunity presented its self. Morality interjected that the two of them were acting like children, and that as long as they were under a death threat there was no reason to put the feelings of another at risk by being associated with them, as nice as a tryst with apleasantly naked girl like Ginny Weasley might be.



As usual, his compassionate self was staying out of the argument. He was concerned with the outside world; these internal disputes were not in his brief.



Through out the argument Ginny had stood there staring at the group of bickering Harry's looking slightly amused. She then approached the four of them and (somehow, it wasn't clear how she managed it with only two hands) placed her right hand over all of their mouths and whispered "Harry!"



His rational self remarked that it was odd that Ginny was speaking in Hermione's voice. His dream self announced that having Hermione here would be a very good idea indeed and a very naked Hermione appeared beside Ginny. Then the girls kissed.



His rational self no longer found Ginny speaking with Hermione's voice to be worth comment. His Dream self was over the moon considering the possibilities, his moral self was trying to scream bloody murder, but Ginny's hand on his mouth made that impossible, and his compassionate self was busily trying to ignore the entire situation.



"Harry, wake up." Whispered Ginny in Hermione's voice despite the lip lock the two girls were sharing."



/Hell/ said his rational self. This is real. Hermione is waking us up. Dream self screamed his rage at the loss of his dream state.



"'ermi? What?" he said against her hand.



She maintained the pressure. "Harry, you've got to wake up. We've got to get out of here."



...---===ooo000ooo===---...



Twenty minutes, three apparitions and a minor case of breaking and entry later, Harry was staring at Hermione waiting for an explanation. It never occurred to him to get the explanation before they left. She had saved his life too many times for him to question her.



"What's going on Hermione?"



She hesitated. How could she tell him this? "Harry, do you recall last year on the ride on the Express? Do you remember what we said to each other.



"Of course I do Hermione. I meant it at the time, but we didn't work out..." He blinked. /Why did we break up? When did we break up?/ "You fell for Ron, and I fell for Ginny, we stayed friends.



"Do you remember when you started noticing Ginny?"



"I don't know, not long after you and Ron got together, one day she was kissing Dean atop the Astronomy Tower and then I felt like I was going to..."



"You were going to kill him." She saw the look in his eyes. "The same way I felt when I saw Ron and Lavender."



"I was so angry, at him, not her. I knew he wasn't good enough, I was just raging, you remember. Then she kissed me, and I calmed down. It's funny I've only kissed three girls. Cho was all salty and wet, you were just, well lovely, but Ginny, hers are everything; they take my whole mind and just stun it. Her kisses taste like"



"Strawberrys."



He blinked. "How did you know? Have you..."



"No Harry, Ron's kisses taste like strawberrys."



"They do? Is it a family thing?"



"No Harry, it's a potion thing."



...---===ooo000ooo===---...