Categories > Games > Final Fantasy 7

For New Turks Only: 10 Rules Tseng/Elena

by Aviolin 3 reviews

Just what the title says. After this you will find out excatly how bored I was in history class.

Category: Final Fantasy 7 - Rating: R - Genres: Humor,Romance - Characters: Elena,Tseng - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-10-21 - Updated: 2007-10-21 - 712 words

Disclaimer: Guess what? I do not own them and so on. Blah. Blah. Blah. We all know this stuff already.


1. Tseng and Elena are THE couple of the whole Shinra Company. Do not grab random delivery boy from lobby and say: we are THE couple because clearly you are not. You must remember that Tseng and Elena are the elite inside the elite and you do not try to claim or question their position.

2. Do not try to seduce Tseng. Or well... you are free to try but if you accidentally get shot by Elena do not pretend that I did not warn you.

3. Do not try to seduce Elena. I do not recommend even trying it. He gives death glares (and by death glares I really do mean death glares, they can freeze over even the hell) to any man who is in the same room with her. That includes Reno too. So if you are a man and you have been in some kind of contact with her and then next day Tseng asks you to come to his office do NOT go but instead RUN. And fast. Because it is a long way to fall from his window and he has a bad habit to negotiate people to commit "suicide".

4. If you see Tseng and Elena at coffee break or something like that and they are in casual contact (like hand on a thigh and so on) do NOT awwww. They (especially Tseng) do not like it at all. Do the aww = sudden urge to commit "suicide".

5. When Tseng acts all jealous do not say that he is jealous! Got it? Jealousy is a girl thing. Tseng is not a girl. He is a possessive MAN who does not like when people touch to something that is his.

6. When Tseng and Elena say that they are going to train hand-to-hand combat do NOT go all happy and ask: "can I join?" because it is just an excuse to go down and dirty. And they do not like threesome. Well, except some random/occasionally Tseng/Elena/RufusthePresident. And YOU DO NOT EVEN DARE TO MENTION THAT ALOUD!!!!!

7. RufusthePresident is the only one who is allowed to watch Tseng and Elena doing "stuff" in his office. After all Rufus is the one who writes their pay cheques. But still their camera has a nice line straight to his bank account. You guys seriously believed that they live like they do with just standard salary??? Are you nuts?? Dudes, they have like... seven cars! And YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT!!!!!

8. When you call Tseng "sir" be careful not to say the "sir" like Elena says it. And how does she say it? Well in the way which tells that she calls him "sir" a lot out from job, off duty, in their home, in their bed during some hot kinky sex. And guess what? YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT EITHER!!!! AND YOU DO NOT GO AND ASK THEM ABOUT IT!!!!!!

9. Go ask Reno instead. But be warned: the subject ("Kinky sex life by my boss and my fellow Turk sister!" lectures at Mondays and Wednesdays in meeting room 2 and Fridays in 7th Heaven) is REALLY close to his heart. So I advice to take earplugs with you when you ask about it because when he starts you probably will hear much more than you would like.

10. When you see Tseng and Elena off duty in a bar/restaurant/street/park/theater do not go and say: "Oh hiiiii! You guys are here too!!!! Have I never mentioned how damn CUTE you look TOGETHER!!!". They do not like it. Big shock. So be all cool about it. But do not ignore them completely. Whisper to Reno where they were and when and what did they do (but do not go to ridiculous details) so he can spread little rumors. That is good to you because: a) if they find out who spread the rumors and are so pissed off that they want to do some negotiating all tracks lead to Reno which so totally saves your sorry ass and b) they both like the attention because (secretly) they are both such attention whores.
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