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Theme: "27. overflow."
Title: "Forbidden"
Fandom: Trigun
Pairing: Knives x Vash
Word count: 3602.
Rating: I'll go with "not worksafe" since I honestly don't know if it would be R or NC-17.
Warnings: Angst, lime, graphic violence, abuse, language, and questionable consent.
Summary: The line between love and hatred is almost indiscernible for Knives and Vash, and with
emotions and hormones at their apex, they make decisions that will change their lives and their
love forever.



"Forbidden"



Survival on this desert planet, at this point, was just that: attempting to scratch
out a meager existence and hoping not to die by thirst, hunger, or the violence of others who
were equally desperate.

The humans who had volunteered and who had been selected for Project
SEEDS had been promised a near-heaven: that the ships were traveling to a planet that would be
terraformed by Plants to be an unspoiled replica of the Earth they had left, where everyone could
start over once more with the lessons they had learned from their destroyed planet in a new
environment.

Near-heaven had turned into near-hell with the deaths of two of the scientists
who knew the most about the Plants, the presumed loss in space of more than half of the
terraforming and sustenance ships, and the mainframe control ship being somewhere far away
from this settlement at least, leaving the survivors at Colony One with a shortage of both
knowledge and tools.

Tenorio Bluesummers was one of those survivors. On earth, having been an
aspiring politician, he had been selected as mayor for Colony One by Rem Saverem herself. Back
there, his blue hair and golden eyes had not attracted much negative attention: almost everyone
had some genetic enhancements, usually at the very least gender selection and isolation of
problem genes.

Nevertheless, in Colony One, he and all of the more ordinary people that had
previously accepted him were now locked in a struggle for survival, one where pretty words and a
refined attitude meant nothing and an odd appearance only led to suspicion as xenophobia
became the rule of the day. The very first day, he had lost any leadership position he had when
another man had pistol-whipped him to get control of the water Plant in a fight over his idea to
have orderly lines.

The water Plant was now being overworked as a frenzy of people drank as
much as they could, and not only drank, but wasted the water, bathing, illogically pouring it onto
the sands in hopes of making a permanent water source, and some even watering potted cacti
they had brought along as souvenirs.

He knew he would have to get into the water struggle that day, as he had
been without water for a day, his pregnant wife for half a day. Maybe he could plead with John to
let him try to bring a semblance of law and order the colony again. . .

ooo

"She's in pain," Knives mumbled, clenching his teeth and his fists over and over.
"It hurts you too, doesn't it, Vash?"

"Yes," Vash replied, seeming to bite back immense pain. "The humans may as
well be torturing her. She will die in a few hours if nothing is done."

"Then let me kill them," Knives whispered. "I can form the blades, and I can
almost do something with my other arm if I had a proper catalyst. . ."

"No! Rem wouldn't have wanted anyone to die! There has to be another way,"
Vash replied. "Please don't hurt them."

"It's like the spider and the butterfly. You're just going to let those insects kill
one of our sisters." Knives said, rage apparent in his voice. "I say we kill the humans, free our
sister, and enjoy what is left here."

"Spiders and butterflies are both insects, Knives. What makes us better than-"

The rest of his words were cut off by Knives's hand, at least this time in its
normal state, backhanding him across the mouth hard enough to knock out a tooth.

"Shut up," Knives sneered. "As angels, we are endowed with the right to bring
judgment. Nevertheless, for you, brother, I will attempt to warn them first."

"Thank you. . ." Vash sarcastically mumbled, spitting out blood. "You're so kind."

ooo

Knives stood on top of the ship containing the Plant a few minutes later, having
pushed, shoved, and bullied his way through the perpetually fighting crowd of humans. His hatred
for them grew by the second as he attempted to tune out the chaos assaulting his already
tortured mind and concentrate enough to form the angel blades and pop out his wings, things he
had learned how to do in a much more private and pleasurable setting.

"Listen to me, pitiful mortals," he screamed, his arm fully bladed and wings
finally unfurling from his back. "I am your god, and I command you to let my sister rest!"

The man who had control of the water Plant for the time being would have none
of it. "Bullshit! You're nothing but a kid in a costume who wants to steal our water!"

"You will see who I really am," Knives said with a sneer of disgust as he waved
his bladed arm past the man, neatly slicing him in half. The crowd screamed in terror and began to
scatter as their former leader's mortally wounded body poured a fountain of blood onto anyone
unfortunate enough to be a bystander.

His blades now retracting, he glared. "If you want liquid so much, why do you
not drink his blood? I have so kindly provided it for you."

"Stop," a man with blue hair said, striding forth from the crowd. "I believe you
are our god. Please, we will care for her if you tell us how, Master."

"Who are you?" Knives snarled.

"I am Tenorio Bluesummers, mayor of Colony One. I must thank you, my most
gracious one, for ridding us of that disgrace to humanity that took my place."

There was no faster way to Millions Knives's cold heart than flattery, which this
man seemed to know, as if he had read his mind. Nevertheless, Knives shrugged the sensation
off. "It was nothing. You are nothing. Now direct me to the colony ship and promise to keep my
sister safe, and I will leave you and your other humans safe."

"I may as well," Tenorio sighed. "I do not have the password for the ship
anyway. It is five iles away and appears to have survived intact. Here is the card key. Once you
are into it and have used what you need, leave it open for us. We need shelter and anything else
it may contain."

"Thank you," Knives replied, with no intent to leave the ship open to humans. "I
will be gone now."

ooo

Vash smelled it the moment Knives walked back to his hiding place on the cliff
just outside town, the same smell he had smelled in the room of the dead Mary, in his own clothes
after one of Steve's beatings. "You smell like blood," he said, a shiver running down his spine.

"I was hurt in the fight," Knives lied, avoiding his twin's eyes as much as he
could. "You saw those humans. They were like a swarm of parasitic spiders, bent on-"

This time, it was Vash who lashed out, punching Knives in the face hard enough
to break out one of his last remaining baby fangs. "You're not only a killer but a liar! I saw you kill
that man, and he wasn't even threatening you. How, how could you even think of using our
powers for that?"

Knives attempted to focus on something other than how arousing Vash's
intensity was becoming, of just how much they were alike yet so different. "I had to do it. No
human is ever going to show such insolence to me, and you know you would have done the same
thing."

"I would never have! Rem would have been so sad if I'd betrayed her like that,"
Vash hissed, glaring at Knives.

"Rem is dead, Vash. Leave her foolish ideals with her. You see what these
humans are doing to our sisters and brothers."

"There has to be a way to save both. There has to be. . ."

"Think about that later," Knives said, as an intact ship about the size of the
small two-story houses they had seen in books loomed before them. "I'm sure you're as tired and
thirsty as I am. You wouldn't want to go back to those humans when you could have this, now
would you?"

"No, maybe you're right," Vash lied. I have to stay close to him, he thought as
they advanced toward the ship. He will provide for me, and maybe I can show him that he needs to
stop killing, that he's becoming the mirror of the man he hated.

ooo

Both twins had expected the ship to be what it looked like on the outside.
Thoughts of soft beds rather than desert rocks, of baths like the large tub they had shared back
on the ship, of games and books, of a break in the monotony of desert travel filled both with some
hope for normalcy.

Those hopes fled with the opening of the door. Not only was the ship's solar-powered aircooling system running at the bare minimum, but it was a supply ship rather than
living quarters, which meant that it was built more for cargo than comfort. On top of all of that bad
news, the ship appeared to have been picked over already, aside from some food, water, medical
supplies, and alcohol.

Knives couldn't have been more surprised when Vash turned a tap on a grungy
work area shower and fresh, relatively pure water flooded out. "Is one of our sisters doing this? I
didn't know they were attached to all the ships."

"No. The aircooling system also works to distill water. This isn't really fit for
drinking, but it will wash our clothes and we can bathe in it. Joey told me that a long time ago."
Vash smiled, stripping off his filthy bodysuit and tossing it into the nearby work sink. "You should
too, Knives. You smell like blood."

"Must you keep reminding me? What if I like that smell? What then?"

"I don't like it," Vash said sadly, looking at his twin. "Please?"

"Anything for you, brother," Knives said softly. "Anything you want, I can give
you."

"I don't understand you at all. You say you'll give me anything I want, then you
disregard anything I believe or say because it's 'meddling' and 'foolish human nonsense."

"That, my beloved brother, is because it is. They have brainwashed you," Knives
said, as he meticulously removed his own bodysuit and himself stood under the shower spray.
"This brings back a lot of memories. Remember when we used to share a bath on the ships?"

"Yeah," he said, attempting to focus on something, anything other than how
perfect, how beautiful Knives looked, how good his twin's fingers felt running through his hair. Why
am I noticing this now. No. Stop. Rem told me the story of the desert traveler, the man who was lost
and had no water, whose map to the oasis took him past sulfurous springs, and he drank from them
to sustain himself believing they were the oasis, burning his hands and poisoning himself. She said
what I felt for Knives when he kissed me was like that, and she couldn't be wrong.

"Lost in your own thoughts again, aren't you?" Knives laughed. "Just like she
was all the time. It's disgusting."

The shower spray dwindled to nothing with the sound of a loud, metallic clank,
as the buzz of the aircooling system suddenly stopped. A second later, the alarm indicating the
system's failure sounded.

ooo

After they had raided the ship for its remaining supplies and technology that
they could use, Knives and Vash had found the ship's food storage, and although what was there
was quickly becoming unusable, there was enough that hadn't spoiled yet from the power and
aircooling failure to make the first actual meal, aside from rations and calorie replenishment drinks,
that either had tasted in eleven days: pork ribs and apples roasted over the campfire they had
made with some of the matches and wood they had found in the ship.

On a short foray into the ship, which was fast becoming more uncomfortable
than the desert outside, to look for any books or games that might be left, the twins had
stumbled upon a side room to the food storage, a room containing bottles, hundreds of bottles
containing substances of various colors. Knives opened the first bottle and flinched. The smell was
too reminiscent of Steve for his taste.

Vash began reading off the labels. "Brandy, bourbon, gin, rum, tequila, vodka,
wine, beer. . ."

Knives glared. "Let's get out of here."

"Take some with us? We can barter it in the villages. Humans like it."

"Fine," the older twin seethed.

ooo

While Knives set up the campsite for the night, as the last sun set, Vash
surreptitiously took his first drink of alcohol, pouring some of the bottle marked "bourbon" into a
glass he had retrieved from the ship. With that first drink, he almost swore off the substance for
life, as it burned miserably to the point of feeling that his mouth, throat, then stomach were
burning, and it took drinking almost an entire canteen of water to rid himself of the burning.

Nevertheless, he felt different, slightly less wary and worried, calmer, and he
reasoned that it wasn't such a bad tradeoff to have a burning mouth for a few minutes. Soon, he
found himself pouring another drink, then another, the burning lessening slightly each time, and
by the time he reached his fourth, he actually somewhat liked the burning, liked the taste of the
alcohol as he sipped somewhat more slowly.

He felt dizzy as he drained the rest of that fourth glass in the same hour. I know
why humans like this stuff, he mused, staring up at the first moon rising from the horizon. Never
felt this good in my life, have I, Rem? If only you were here. . .

Knives was standing at his side. "Always have to play the fool, don't you, Vash?
I told you not to drink too much."

"I didn't drink that mush," he said. Mush? No. That isn't right. It's much. Why am
I talking like I'm half asleep?

Vash wobbled as he slowly stood, leaning on Knives for support as they walked
back to their campsite outside the ship. "I want to have some good dreams tonight," he said,
giggling. "I don't wanna think of her that way, yet I do."

"You wake up from dreams, and you're still alone," Knives whispered, licking at
Vash's earlobe and nibbling at the earring, causing his brother to squirm against him. "Now you're
never convincing me you don't want more than sweet dreams."

"Knives."

"I want to make love to you, only once," the older by one minute twin said. "An
experiment, so to speak. If you don't want any more, I will stop."

Vash pondered the request for a moment, as Knives began kissing him once
more. That would be so. . . no. Rem. She wouldn't want us doing that, but would she want me
thinking of her like I do either? Rem. . . man in desert, drinking sulfur rather than water, feels so good,
Knives. . . no humans. . . why not . . . I'm sorry. . .

"Tell me," Knives breathed against Vash's ear. "Yes or no?"

"Yes."

ooo

At first, the waiting was the worst part of this new experience. Waiting for
what, Vash didn't know exactly. He had experienced orgasm before, in those near frantic sessions
of self-gratification after awakening from the dreams, so he believed he knew what to expect.

Maybe I'm waiting for pain more than anything else, he thought as Knives slowly
undressed next to him, appearing to be performing a striptease of sorts. I've seen him kill humans
in cold blood. I've seen him laugh at suffering, and he killed Rem. What if he goes insane and decides
to hurt me like Steve hurt him? If he bites me, I don't even want to think about that.

I will never hurt you. Never. It's what twin brothers do, it's our instinct. Give in.

Vash flinched at the thought that ran through his mind as easily as his own,
before noticing the kindness, the sincerity of Knives's mental whisper. I trust you. Don't betray me,
he whispered back, leaving the mental link between them open.

You're in such a hurry. Relax.

He gritted his teeth and bit back moans as Knives nibbled at his earlobes, licked
at his nipples, did everything except what he wanted the most by this point. Stop teasing me or I'll
hurt you.

A small smile appeared on his twin's lips as he moved away for a second.
Violence is in our nature. If it will help you let go, go ahead. I can heal myself.

No. . . yes. . . no.

The platinum-haired twin paused for a second, then, without another word,
brought those perfect lips around Vash's arousal. This is my love for you.

"Kn. . . Knives," Vash moaned. "My brother, my lover, please," the words
melding together and distorting into an almost animalistic howl of pain as he came.

ooo

Of all the things both twins had expected from sex, the awkward silence
afterward was something neither expected. Knives had assumed Vash would be thanking him and
showing more affection than he ever had since the Fall, and Vash had assumed that it was a sign
that Knives and he would be like they once were, united almost as one person, especially after
they had switched places as soon as he had recovered somewhat.

Instead, both twins cleaned up as best as they could in silence, except for a
few disparaging remarks both exchanged about the other's lack of control or naivete, and Vash
whining about the bite Knives had inflicted on his shoulder when they switched places.

"I told you we needed roughness, needed violence," Knives said calmly. "I
thought you'd know to expect it."

"I didn't bite you."

"You could have. Now help me flip the bedroll, there's no way I'm sleeping on
this side."

ooo

Vash sat at the edge of their camp, dressed once more and his hair obsessively
combed back into the spiky style Rem had liked so much as he sat in front of the small mirror. So
sorry. I'm so sorry. I disobeyed you. I had to. I needed it. No. I didn't. I drank the sulfur. Now what?
Will I lose your memory? What about when he wants me again? He's not like you. I wish I had you,
Rem.

With a shaking hand, he poured his seventh glass of bourbon for the night,
wondering what would happen if he managed to drink the entire bottle. Will it cause me to die?
Maybe I want to die. I don't know. Knives and I should have never been born. He's a killer, he will
always be a killer. What will happen when we reach the next town? He will kill more people, that's
what. I don't know what to do anymore.

His stomach rebelled at the eighth glass, leaving him vomiting until he was even
more exhausted than he had been earlier, his mouth filled with the taste of bile, half-digested
food, and other flavors he really didn't wish to taste again for a while. He will want more from me,
Rem. At the same time he will kill the people you want us to save, yes he will. I have no choice, Rem.
Please understand it. I have to. . . I have to!

By now, he was shaking, seeing double, and yet nervously laughing as he
scanned the desert nearby for some sort of a weapon, something he could use to rid the world of
his twin brother, to save himself and the next human settlement they would find. To his tortured
mind, it seemed like the only solution, the only way out of the twisted nightmare his life had
become.

/That should do it, /he thought as he looked at one of the large rocks nearby. If I
can lift it, I'll drop it on his head. A head wound with that much brain damage would kill even one of us,
like they had to cut out Tessla's brain to stop her from regenerating. Oh yes. You will die like the
woman you lived for, and I will die to serve the one I lived for until you took her away.

Vash laughed as he lifted the rock into position to drop it on Knives, then
gasped in shock.

Rem was lying there on the ground, looking up at the stars, and he was a
young boy again, looking at them with her.

"How many stars are there in the sky, Rem?"

"There are so many, so many we even couldn't see. For example, the galaxy
we're headed for couldn't be seen with the naked eye or even with our first telescope. It took a
bigger telescope," she said, giggling, her voice becoming serious again a second later. "Never
think you know everything there is to know."

"No!" Vash screamed, throwing the rock aside, as it harmlessly landed to the
side of Knives's head, awakening Knives, as his brother collapsed into a crying, vomiting heap
next to him.

ooo

Knives sniffed in disgust as he sleepily sat up, not knowing how close he had
been to certain death. "Honestly, Vashu, you drive me insane. You drank yourself senseless, are
ruining our nice, soft bedroll, and you brought a rock to bed with you. This is why you shouldn't
touch alcohol."

Vash only closed his eyes and curled up into a fetal position, mumbling names
as he fell into a fitful sleep from exhaustion and drink. "Rem. Knives. Rem. Knives."

"Shut up and go to sleep. We have a long day ahead tomorrow."