Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > To Make It Better
Chapter 3:
Journal # 24
“I’m in so much pain right now and hopefully if I leave this for someone, hopefully Patrick, to find then maybe they’ll be able to understand. I can’t tell people how I feel in fear of how they’ll maybe dislike or even hate me in the end. I’m leaving this journal entry as kind of a note I guess. It’s the most important entry I have ever written because it’s basically a letter of apology to everyone that I’ve hurt by locking myself away and with it I will leave my other journal entries and they’re not happy. Not one of them but it’s the insight of my life and my head. To hope that maybe someone will understand but I highly doubt it. I’ll be leaving soon and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone but no worry to whoever finds this because I won’t be gone a real long time. Just maybe a couple of days or so or maybe a couple of hours I don’t know. Once again I feel as though I need to be alone without having to be bombarded with questions every five minutes. I’m sorry Andy, Joe, and especially Patrick for not letting you in but maybe now you’ll understand....”
“Hopefully,” Pete says as he wraps a brightly colored string around his entries and ties it into a bow lying it gently on top of his desk. He sneaks out his window not bothering to shut it in fear of it making to much noise and attracting attention he doesn’t want at the moment. As he feet touches the ground he slings his back pack onto both his shoulders and walks to the front of his house crouching in front of one of the windows to get a last look at his friends before he leaves. He can see Joe sitting in the recliner. His head is in his hands and his elbows are propped onto his knees making it instantly clear that he was still upset. As Pete continues his gaze his eyes land on Andy who is facing Patrick talking to him. As Pete’s eyes shift to Patrick he immediately feels like an asshole because Patrick’s eyes are puffy and he’s sniffling which always means he’s highly upset. Pete tears his eyes away and runs, not even in a general direction, just runs. His legs are where all of his energy seems to be focused as he continues and unable to do anything else he screams while running. His lungs immediately begin to hurt and his throat gets hoarse fast but he doesn’t care.
When he finally collapses he realizes that he has run all the way to his parking lot. He didn’t even mean to come here but it’s just where his legs took him. Unable to keep his composure any longer he breaks down on the cement and watches as his tears connect with the gray pavement splashing every which way. As he continues to watch his tears fall he becomes angry and his feelings shift from upset to pissed off and he connects his fist with the ground wincing as his knuckles break under the skin. His hand automatically, it seems, becomes numb and he keeps punching watching as his blood stains the pavement not caring that he’s using the hand he writes with and maybe ruining his chances of ever writing again or playing for that fact. When the realization that he may never play bass again hits him he stops punching the ground because he knows that if the guys would ever accept him again then they would count on him to play and if he breaks his hand and never plays again that wouldn’t go down well.
Pete realizes at this point that he needs to get to a hospital immediately and so he picks himself up off the pavement grabbing his bag with his left hand and throws it onto his shoulder as he pulls his right hand to his chest and starts his walk from parking lot to hospital. As he’s walking he suddenly hears a horn from a car and automatically he looks up to see if the honk was directed in his direction. His intentions were indeed right as a car pulls up next to him and the passenger window rolls down only to reveal a woman he never met before showing a look of concern. At first confusion hits him but then he remembers that he is bleeding like a stuffed hog from his right hand and that this girl is just concerned.
“Are you okay?” she asks true concern in her voice and he is grateful at this point because the hospital is quite a bit of a walk from where he is and he really doesn’t care that he doesn’t know her, he just cares about getting to the hospital as soon as possible.
“Um not really. Would you mind giving me a ride to the hospital?”
“Sure no problem. Go ahead and get in.”
“Thank you,” he says as he grabs the door handle and opens it sliding in next to her.
“Here wrap your hand in this until we get there. You may be a stranger that I’m helping but that doesn’t mean I want blood on my car seats,” she says as a smile blooms onto his lips.
“Are you sure you want me to use this? It’s in pretty good shape,” Pete says as he takes the hoodie from her and hesitates his actions waiting for a response as she just shakes her head and gives a pretty funny answer.
“Yeah go ahead. It’s not mine.”
“Who’s is it? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Oh no I don’t mind. It’s my ex boyfriend’s. So how did you do that?”
“Oh um I got really, really, really mad and punched the ground over and over and over again.”
“Well I’d hate to be the person you’re mad at.”
“Oh it’s no one. I’m mad at myself,” he says gently wrapping his hand up into the hoodie carefully so as to not drip blood on the seat.
“So I just want you to know that I do know who you are and I’m not going to like kidnap you or anything. I just want to let you know that you’re music is great and it helps me through everything. I don’t know if that was really appropriate to say or anything considering your predicament and everything but yeah.”
“Oh it’s okay I’m just glad you didn’t ask for an autograph. Now that would have been inappropriate,” he says as she chuckles lightly and it’s at this moment that Pete realizes he doesn’t even know her name, “So what do people call you?”
“By my name usually,” she says and he has to admit what she said completely catches him off guard and he laughs throwing his head back.
“Okay well that was unexpected but seriously what’s your name?”
“Uh Holly.”
“That’s a pretty name. I don’t know very many Holly’s. Actually I don’t know any personally.”
“Really? Cause I know like a zillion. Where are you from? Outer space?”
“No I just don’t know any. I actually don’t have a lot of friends. Well like really good friends anyway. I have severe trust issues because of everything that has happened to me in my life.”
“Me too. I understand the whole trust issue thing. I’m the same way,” she says as they pull into the hospital emergency room parking lot, “So I guess this is it then?” she asks and Pete honestly can say that he doesn’t know what came over him next.
“Um actually would you mind coming in with me? I mean unless you have plans or you’re busy or something,” Pete says trying desperately to repair that whole situation but not really succeeding very well.
“Why do you want me to come in with you?” she asks curiously.
“I hate hospital’s. They give me the creeps and I really hate being in them but I especially hate being in them by myself.”
“Well what about your friends?” she asks even though she’s already gathering her purse and turning off her car.
“Um I kind of had some issues earlier and they’re kind of mad at me right now.”
“Oh well alright let’s get you inside and see how bad the damage is shall we?” she says and he smiles thankful.
So there's Chapter 3. Please review
Journal # 24
“I’m in so much pain right now and hopefully if I leave this for someone, hopefully Patrick, to find then maybe they’ll be able to understand. I can’t tell people how I feel in fear of how they’ll maybe dislike or even hate me in the end. I’m leaving this journal entry as kind of a note I guess. It’s the most important entry I have ever written because it’s basically a letter of apology to everyone that I’ve hurt by locking myself away and with it I will leave my other journal entries and they’re not happy. Not one of them but it’s the insight of my life and my head. To hope that maybe someone will understand but I highly doubt it. I’ll be leaving soon and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone but no worry to whoever finds this because I won’t be gone a real long time. Just maybe a couple of days or so or maybe a couple of hours I don’t know. Once again I feel as though I need to be alone without having to be bombarded with questions every five minutes. I’m sorry Andy, Joe, and especially Patrick for not letting you in but maybe now you’ll understand....”
“Hopefully,” Pete says as he wraps a brightly colored string around his entries and ties it into a bow lying it gently on top of his desk. He sneaks out his window not bothering to shut it in fear of it making to much noise and attracting attention he doesn’t want at the moment. As he feet touches the ground he slings his back pack onto both his shoulders and walks to the front of his house crouching in front of one of the windows to get a last look at his friends before he leaves. He can see Joe sitting in the recliner. His head is in his hands and his elbows are propped onto his knees making it instantly clear that he was still upset. As Pete continues his gaze his eyes land on Andy who is facing Patrick talking to him. As Pete’s eyes shift to Patrick he immediately feels like an asshole because Patrick’s eyes are puffy and he’s sniffling which always means he’s highly upset. Pete tears his eyes away and runs, not even in a general direction, just runs. His legs are where all of his energy seems to be focused as he continues and unable to do anything else he screams while running. His lungs immediately begin to hurt and his throat gets hoarse fast but he doesn’t care.
When he finally collapses he realizes that he has run all the way to his parking lot. He didn’t even mean to come here but it’s just where his legs took him. Unable to keep his composure any longer he breaks down on the cement and watches as his tears connect with the gray pavement splashing every which way. As he continues to watch his tears fall he becomes angry and his feelings shift from upset to pissed off and he connects his fist with the ground wincing as his knuckles break under the skin. His hand automatically, it seems, becomes numb and he keeps punching watching as his blood stains the pavement not caring that he’s using the hand he writes with and maybe ruining his chances of ever writing again or playing for that fact. When the realization that he may never play bass again hits him he stops punching the ground because he knows that if the guys would ever accept him again then they would count on him to play and if he breaks his hand and never plays again that wouldn’t go down well.
Pete realizes at this point that he needs to get to a hospital immediately and so he picks himself up off the pavement grabbing his bag with his left hand and throws it onto his shoulder as he pulls his right hand to his chest and starts his walk from parking lot to hospital. As he’s walking he suddenly hears a horn from a car and automatically he looks up to see if the honk was directed in his direction. His intentions were indeed right as a car pulls up next to him and the passenger window rolls down only to reveal a woman he never met before showing a look of concern. At first confusion hits him but then he remembers that he is bleeding like a stuffed hog from his right hand and that this girl is just concerned.
“Are you okay?” she asks true concern in her voice and he is grateful at this point because the hospital is quite a bit of a walk from where he is and he really doesn’t care that he doesn’t know her, he just cares about getting to the hospital as soon as possible.
“Um not really. Would you mind giving me a ride to the hospital?”
“Sure no problem. Go ahead and get in.”
“Thank you,” he says as he grabs the door handle and opens it sliding in next to her.
“Here wrap your hand in this until we get there. You may be a stranger that I’m helping but that doesn’t mean I want blood on my car seats,” she says as a smile blooms onto his lips.
“Are you sure you want me to use this? It’s in pretty good shape,” Pete says as he takes the hoodie from her and hesitates his actions waiting for a response as she just shakes her head and gives a pretty funny answer.
“Yeah go ahead. It’s not mine.”
“Who’s is it? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Oh no I don’t mind. It’s my ex boyfriend’s. So how did you do that?”
“Oh um I got really, really, really mad and punched the ground over and over and over again.”
“Well I’d hate to be the person you’re mad at.”
“Oh it’s no one. I’m mad at myself,” he says gently wrapping his hand up into the hoodie carefully so as to not drip blood on the seat.
“So I just want you to know that I do know who you are and I’m not going to like kidnap you or anything. I just want to let you know that you’re music is great and it helps me through everything. I don’t know if that was really appropriate to say or anything considering your predicament and everything but yeah.”
“Oh it’s okay I’m just glad you didn’t ask for an autograph. Now that would have been inappropriate,” he says as she chuckles lightly and it’s at this moment that Pete realizes he doesn’t even know her name, “So what do people call you?”
“By my name usually,” she says and he has to admit what she said completely catches him off guard and he laughs throwing his head back.
“Okay well that was unexpected but seriously what’s your name?”
“Uh Holly.”
“That’s a pretty name. I don’t know very many Holly’s. Actually I don’t know any personally.”
“Really? Cause I know like a zillion. Where are you from? Outer space?”
“No I just don’t know any. I actually don’t have a lot of friends. Well like really good friends anyway. I have severe trust issues because of everything that has happened to me in my life.”
“Me too. I understand the whole trust issue thing. I’m the same way,” she says as they pull into the hospital emergency room parking lot, “So I guess this is it then?” she asks and Pete honestly can say that he doesn’t know what came over him next.
“Um actually would you mind coming in with me? I mean unless you have plans or you’re busy or something,” Pete says trying desperately to repair that whole situation but not really succeeding very well.
“Why do you want me to come in with you?” she asks curiously.
“I hate hospital’s. They give me the creeps and I really hate being in them but I especially hate being in them by myself.”
“Well what about your friends?” she asks even though she’s already gathering her purse and turning off her car.
“Um I kind of had some issues earlier and they’re kind of mad at me right now.”
“Oh well alright let’s get you inside and see how bad the damage is shall we?” she says and he smiles thankful.
So there's Chapter 3. Please review
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