FicWad

I felt like a total asshole as I made my way into the men's room. I wanted to love Gwen as much as she loved me, but I just couldn't. It wasn't that I wasn't attracted to her, or that I didn't like her around. It was just that, something was keeping me from moving on with my life. I needed to get this out, to alleviate myself of this invisible life blocker.

I had to leave, I had to get out of here to go on that drive. A drive to find and end this mock play of my life made into another "Divine Comedy". But how does one back out of this scenario with the woman who loves them waiting outside your door? I stalled inside the stall, hunched over with my head in my hands...God, what to do?!

I contemplated crawling out a window, but found not a single window in the bathroom. I could sneak out the front door...where she was sitting only a few feet away, yeah, brilliant. I was sweating, nervous, eager. I never thought in my entire life, that I would want to avoid bumping into a beautiful woman who was in love with me. It was unheard of, like dodging the winning lottery number.

I got it! I would get on my cell phone, and act as if I was in the middle of a very important conversation with my mother! Yes, it might actually work! I fetched my cell phone from my pocket, flipped it open, and brought to my ear. This was risky, but I had to act agitated, urgent, and busy. I could pull this off. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the bathroom, beginning my imaginary conversation, doing my best to look and sound flustered.

"No ma, I'm fine! Yes, things are fine! No, I'm busy right now!" I said as I speedily walked up to Gwen at her table.

She cast a concerned look, I rolled my eyes as if in annoyance, and continued to talk to an empty receiver.

"Do you really need my help right now?! I'm with Gwen! No, no, it's nothing like that! What?! No, no..uh huh.." I continued to rant into the phone, almost convincing myself that the phone conversation was real.

"Okay, okay, I'll be over in a few minutes. Just let me wrap this up real quick okay?! Bye!"
I said, closing the phone and taking an exhausted seat. Lying was tiring.

"Is..everything okay? Was that your mom?" Gwen asked, that concerned look still on her face.

"What? Oh yeah, fine, yeah. Everything is fine, she just wants me to go over to her house to check on the cable and stuff. She said her area's power went out and things are all on the fritz."

Gwen looked downwards at her coffee, "Oh, so will you be going than?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I have to or she'll never stop calling me. I should really get going though, I'm sorry to cut things short with you, it was really great talking though. And I feel like we've really made a connection tonight."

Gwen looked me in the eyes, "Really? You think so?"

"Absolutely, we should do this again soon. Maybe later or something yeah?" I said, slowly standing up.

She followed me with her eyes, "Do you want me to call you?"

"No no, it's okay. Stay seated, enjoy your coffee. I hope it won't take too long.."

She stood up anway, "Wait...Tyler.."

She tripped on the table leg and stumbled into me. I stopped her fall, holding her close to me. She pressed herself against me, embracing me tightly. I held her close, soaking in her scent and warmth.

"I love you.."

I stroked her hair gently with a shaky hand, "I know."

I gently released her and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "I'll be back."

She nodded sadly, her eyes downcast, "Mmhmm.."

I walked away, my car was already packed and ready for the drive.



I had caffeine pills, coffee, cigarettes, and my pistol. I don't know why I brought it with me, I wasn't sure what my intentions were with it, but better safe than sorry. It would be a long lonesome drive, about two hours worth. I was horrible at night driving, i was susceptable to falling asleep at the wheel.

The first half hour of driving was fine, I was relativley awake and alert. But by the remainder of the hour, I was getting sleepy. I never liked driving to Pennsylvania, I had been there before on family visitations. There were no short cuts to my destination, just one big lonely straight-away. One hour left until I reached my target. I would find her, and face her.
I had to know so many things. Why did she do what she did? Why did she stop writing? Why was it, that everytime someone came in contact with her, something bad had to happen?

I wanted answers, and she would give them to me...one word at a time.