Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Without a Sound
Screaming Infidelities (Pt 1)
3 reviewsI UPDATED!! Aren't you ashamed of me? Yeah, me too...don't ask about the title...I was seriously stuck and it was what I was listening to at the time :D
1Exciting
"Gerard, help! I'm gonna fall!" I laughed, wobbling helplessly on the floor. The disco ball glinted in my eyes.
"AAAh, the disco ball has blinded me!" Gerard laughed back. He was wobbling too. "I cannot save you!"
No, we weren't at a disco (like I'd even go to one, but whatever), and we weren't drunk either. We were roller skating.
I'd begged Gerard to go as soon as I saw the sign on the highway. He said it wouldn't be open, but wouldn't you know, they were having one of those all-night skate things and we only had to pay five bucks each to get in. It wasn't that great a place--the music itself was okay but the speakers were crap, and the disco ball was extremely annoying--but there were heaps of people there, and the fact that neither of us were very good at skating made it exciting if nothing else. We weren't even on the rink yet--we'd just put on our skates and were wobbling around the benches like a couple of old men.
A few girls skated by--they didn't seem to be having any trouble--and a girl with long, straight hair that was dyed the most amazing silver colour waved in our direction.
"Hey, Gerard!" she smiled.
He nodded to her and turned back to me.
"Frankie's ex," he explained.
"Oh," I replied. Was this the mysterious Teresa-Ann?
We tried skating a bit more and, when I felt brave enough to venture away from the benches, I made my way to the bathroom. Inside was the silver-haired girl and a couple others, taking turns swigging from a silver hip flask. They all turned around and one hid the bottle behind her back.
"Oh, it's you," the silver-haired girl sighed, seeming relieved. "It's okay, she's with Gerard," she told the girl who had the bottle. Then she turned back to me.
"How come I've never met you before?" she asked.
"Um, I just moved here from New York," I said. She smiled widely.
"I love New York," she said. "My dad lives there. What's your name, by the way?"
"Verity," I said, and then grabbed onto the nearest sink to stop myself from falling over. She laughed a bit.
"I'm Terry," she said. Hmm. Could or could not be short for Teresa-Ann.
She held the flask out to me. "You want a drink?"
Normally I wouldn't take a drink from some random stranger, but she seemed nice enough and Gerard knew her, so I shrugged and took a sip from the flask. Eugh, gin. Tastes like shit and gives you a bitch of a hangover, but it's fun while it lasts, so I took another swig.
"I like your hair," I said as I handed her the flask back. The two kind of matched.
"Thanks," she smiled. "I have to get the roots done like every other week, though, so that's a bitch."
I laughed appreciatively.
"Hey...umm, I hope you don't think it's weird, me asking, but...are you and Gerard dating?" a girl with short brown hair asked. Terry looked just as interested.
"Um, sort of," I said. I really, really hated the term "dating," but I didn't feel the need to point that out. "Yeah, we are."
"So you're part of the gang then," Terry said. "Have another drink."
I took the flask again, wondering what the hell she was talking about. Did she mean her gang? Because I seriously doubted that having a drink in a bathroom and dating someone we both happened to know qualified me for the joining of ANY gang. And if she meant she was part of Gerard and Frankie's 'gang' (which is another term I find extremely ghey), then how come they never talked about her? Well actually, Frankie did mention her that one time--that is, if she actually was The Teresa-Ann.
"Hey...is your full name Teresa-Ann, by any chance?" I asked Terry, giving her the flask again. She smiled.
"Yeah, that's what I went by when I was going out with Frankie," she said.
"So you actually dated him?" This was new to me. Frankie had only ever mentioned hooking up with her.
"Yeah," she nodded. "We didn't like each other that much, though. We just hooked up at a party and then people kind of assumed we were a couple, so we went with it for awhile. But it got old quickly."
I nodded. I'd been in the same situation a few times myself.
"Well, uh, thanks for the drink," I said. Speaking of which, I was beginning to feel it--it was hard not to wobble even when I WAS holding the sink.
"No problem," Terry smiled. Her smile was kind of creepy. "I'll see you around then?"
"Yeah, guess so," I said. I was starting to feel claustrophobic--the bathroom wasn't actually that small, but there were about six of us in there, and I needed some air. "See you."
They all nodded again and I half-skated, half-hobbled out. Gerard was leaning against the wall waiting for me.
"Hey, you okay?" he asked. He grabbed my hand just as I was about to fall, and pulled me close.
"Yep," I nodded. "Only...I still can't skate properly."
He smiled. "Yeah, and I bet that gin isn't helping much."
I blinked. "How did you know that?"
"I can smell it," he grinned.
"Well you've been drinking whiskey," I accused.
"Baby girl, I'm ALWAYS drinking whiskey."
Baby girl. He called me baby girl. I tried not to fall over.
He pulled me closer and had just touched his lips to mine when the bathroom door opened and the girls spilled out in all their pierced, tattooed, badge-adorned glory. Terry smiled a little condescendingly at us as they skated past. Gerard rolled his eyes.
"Come on, let's go," he said, pulling me towards the rink. Terry and her friends were already going around, and I would've been annoyed at the way they flaunted their skating skills, except that this just meant Gerard and I had better things to do than fucking skate all day.
What I hadn't thought about was how much more sliperry it would be on the cement than the carpet.
"Gerard, I'm not kidding! I'm seriously about to fall over!" I half-yelled over the music. We were still on our first lap around the rink--it wasn't that big, but we were laughing too hard to concentrate on skating.
"YOU'RE about to fall? I'M about to--" Gerard started to say, but then he stopped because he actually did fall. What's more, he kind of skidded across the floor and ended up at the feet of a bunch of fourteen-year-old girls dressed like baby prostitutes. I struggled not to laugh as he squinted up at them.
"Sorry," he was saying as I wobbled over to him. They were looking at him like he was a piece of dirt. Bitches.
"You're such an idiot," I giggled, putting my hand out for him to take. He grabbed my hand, but as soon as he did I stacked it too, landing pretty much on top of him. We both lay there lauging as the girls skated off.
"Oww," I moaned, rubbing the back of my head. I swear to god, I was probably gonna end up with brain damage from all the times I'd hit my head recently.
"Ditto," Gerard sighed, and wrapped his arms around me.
"Come on, get up, it's cold down here," I said even though I wanted nothing more than to stay on the ground with him.
"No," he whined. "People are making fun of me 'cause I can't skate."
I laughed. "Well you are pretty shit at it, you know."
He glared at me. I glared back until he smiled, and then I smiled too.
"Fuck, this song sucks," he laughed suddenly as some horrible Aqua tune started up. Then he frowned.
"I just killed the mood, didn't I?" he sighed again.
"Nope," I smiled. He smiled back, and was just moving in to kiss me when the guy who was 'supervising' the rink (I have no idea what they're called, but this one kind of looked like a Patrick) came over.
"Sorry guys, but you gotta move," he said. He seemed kind of embarrased. "It's dangerous for the other skaters in the dark."
"Sorry," Gerard said, and I could tell by his face that he was trying not to laugh. So was I.
So we managed to get up and out of the rink without falling again, although I still don't know how we managed it, since I hadn't been skating since the third grade--when Sophie got food poisoning from the crappy popcorn--and Gerard wouldn't tell me when he'd last been, which made me suspect he'd never skated before in his life.
Now that I thought about it, I actually hadn't called Sophie to let her know about visiting; my mom had agreed, but she'd have to share a room with me since Cara was now in the spare. But that wasn't why I hadn't called her; we'd slept in each other's beds millions of times in New York, and she'd once stayed with us for a whole summer vacation while her parents were visiting relatives.
I don't know why I hadn't called her. I was acting like a complete idiot, and I didn't even have a valid reason! I guess I was just worried about what would happen if we'd both changed too much to keep being friends. But Sophie was always the one who sent me corny "BFFL" cards for no reason, and used to go on about how we'd be best friends till death do us part. A little thing like distance couldn't ruin that, could it?
So I turned to Gerard and said, "Hey, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, kay?"
He pretended to glare at me again. "Fine, but don't let me catch you drinking gin again."
"Try and stop me," I said, standing up. We both rolled our eyes at my lame comeback, and I made it to the bathroom without further mishap. It was empty this time, so I pulled out my phone and dialed while I looked in the mirror. Eww eww eww.
The phone rang a few times before she picked up. "Hello?"
"Hey Sophie, it's Verity," I said.
"Oh...hey!" She sounded surprised, but in a good way. "How's it?"
"Oh, pretty good," I said. Who cared? "What about you?"
"Oh, you know," she said nonchalantly. "Same old, same old."
I laughed appreciatively. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that my mom said it's fine if you come down. Just, uh, you'd have to share a room with me. Cara's living with us again."
"Oh, that's fine," she said quickly. "Is it okay if I come, say...tomorrow?" Tomorrow was Thursday.
"Yeah, that's great, cause my friend's having some kind of party on Saturday, so you can come with me and meet everyone," I said. "What time does your train arrive?"
"Uhhhh...one second," she said, and I heard her fingers clicking on the keyboard of her computer in the background. "There's one at either twelve noon or five thirty."
"Okay, well get the one at five thirty, and I'll ask Gerard if he'll drive me to pick you up after school," I said.
"Who's Gerard?" she said. Her voice sounded suddenly sharp--or was it just me?
"Oh...I forgot, you don't know him. Well, he's um...we're kind of together," I said haltingly. I was unaccountably nervous of what her reaction would be. When she laughed I was relieved.
"Kind of?" she teased.
"Officially," I clarified, feeling slightly foolish. "We're definitely together."
"What the fuck! You've been in Jersey for what, two weeks? You slut!" she laughed. I laughed too, knowing she was only joking. "And why am I just hearing about this now?"
"I know, I know! I should've told you. But stuff just...happened," I said, grimacing at the lameness of the words coming out of my mouth. "I mean, it...well, I'll tell you everything tomorrow, 'kay?"
"Okay," she said easily. "But I'm expecting the full story!"
We chatted a bit more and she told me what station her train was arriving at, and then we hung up. When I walked out, Gerard was waiting for me again.
"Miss me?" I joked.
He screwed up his face like a five-year-old. "Just a lot."
I smiled at him, and then he yawned. So naturally I yawned too.
"Are you as tired as I am?" he asked.
"Mmm-hmm," I hummed.
"You wanna leave?" he asked.
"Mmm not yet," I said. "Let's sit."
There was a big plastic yellow bench in the corner, close enough for us to get to it without falling over, so we slumped down there. I yawned again as I layed my head on his shoulder. Why was I so fucking tired? Maybe the gin was wearing off. Meh.
"So can you stay at my house tonight?" Gerard asked, laying his head on top of mine.
"Yeah," I said.
"Awesome."
And then suddenly, I thought of sex. I don't know why; I just had the thought, 'Maybe Gerard wants to sleep with me tonight.' And I got all nervous.
"Do you wanna just go now?" I asked him quickly. Why was I asking HIM? He was the one who was driving. I was an idiot.
"You know what? Fuck it, I actually do," he chuckled. We sat up straight and I tried to take off my skates, but as soon as I leant forward I started to fall off the seat.
"Fuck," Gerard laughed, pulling me back up. "Here, I'll do it." And before I could say anything, he'd clambered onto the ground in front of me and started unlacing my skates.
Fuck, Gerard looked so good. He was wearing what he usually did, jeans and a dark hoodie with a bit of eyeliner, but now he looked...different somehow. Better.
He was looking down and kind of smiling to himself, like it was just too perfect that he got to undo my laces for me because he could hold his liquor better than I could. I suddenly had the urge to run my fingers through his hair, but of course I didn't.
Then he looked up, catching me staring straight at him. I blushed to the tips of my fucking toes, but at least I didn't look away. He broke into a smile.
"There," he said. "You're done." I hadn't realized he'd finished with my skates.
"Thank you," I smiled. I looked from his eyes to his lips and back again, and all I wanted right then was for him to kiss me.
He must have been a mind-reader or some shit, because that's exactly what he did. The music pumped around us and I felt the heat of the strobe light on my face as his lips touched mine. We pulled apart at the same time and, as far as kisses go, it was pretty much perfect. He smiled at me, and I just knew instinctively that he felt the same way. I wanted to kiss him again, and I would've, only he'd already stood up.
"Let's roll," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. My feet were light after being weighed down by the skates, and I felt like Gerard's hand was the only thing keeping me from floating away. But I kind of liked it down here, with Gerard.
Gerard's P.O.V.
Verity and I didn't say much on the drive back to my place; we didn't need to. I was kind of careless with my gear-changes and stuff, because I wasn't really concentrating on the road. All I wanted was to get home so I could finally, FINALLY, be alone with Verity.
We went into my room through the separate entrance; it wasn't that late, but I seriously didn't want to talk to anyone else. I felt like if anyone outside of this feeling came in-between us, we'd lose what had gradually been building up all night, and what I didn't even have a name for. I know it sounds fucking ridiculous, seeing as I'd only known her a little while, but I got the feeling that love, if it even existed, would feel pretty fucking close to this.
When we got inside and I turned the lights on, Verity looked so beautiful that I just wanted to grab her...and kiss her...and kiss the crap out of her! I thought that would seem a bit odd, though, so I kicked off my shoes and managed to fall face-down on my bed without hitting the desk or anything else on the way (a Big Accomplishment for me). I smiled into the pillow when I felt Verity hit the mattress beside me.
"So. Fucking. Tired," she moaned--or, at least that's what it sounded like. I reached over and wrapped my arm around her; she snuggled up to me, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep...
"NINJAAA!" Frankie's voice drilled a hole in my skull about the same time that he body-slammed us.
"Oh, FUCK no," I mumbled, forcing myself to sit up. Frankie was giggling like a demonic preschooler as he lay on top of Verity, who looked slightly pained and very confused, and me. I didn't even know Frankie was HERE.
"What the fuck is WRONG with you?" I demanded. I mean, I know he was my best friend and all, but I had my limits, and being body-slammed while dozing with my girlfriend (ntely one of them. Then I noticed that Verity was laughing, and suddenly I didn't mind as much.
"Well, he IS pretty brave," she said, "disturbing The Gerard when he's sleeping." Frankie smiled smugly.
"Yeah, well, that's ten points for effort, minus ten for stupidity," I said, mock-smiling back at him. "You're still gonna die."
At that point, Frankie rolled off the bed (whacking his head on the desk, I might add) and Bob and Mikey came tumbling through the door.
"Sorry, Gerard," Mikey panted. "We tried to stop him, but--"
"But he's just so damn fast!" Bob finished, panting also.
"You took your fucking time," I grumbled, stretching a little.
"Ow," Frankie moaned from somewhere on the floor. We all ignored him. Someone banged on the outside door.
"That'll be Ray," Mikey supplied. Fuck--was EVERYONE coming?
Ray walked in, followed by Leon and Andy. I groaned.
"Well hello to you too," Andy grinned.
"Naw, man, I'm just tired," I sighed, flopping back down.
"Mikey, dude, I heard you got new stock," Ray said. Frankie popped up immediately, death-glaring Mikey.
"I was gonna tell you!" Mikey began.
End Gerard's P.O.V.
Back to Verity's P.O.V. (as per usual)
New stock? What, was Mikey a fucking dealer? I was gonna ask Gerard what he was selling, but since Mikey'd already ran off to get his "stock," I figured I'd find out soon enough.
"How is it that YOU know about this and I don't?" Frankie asked Ray. He seemed to be overreacting a bit to the whole thing. Unless Mikey really WAS a dealer, and Frankie was hooked. While I had no trouble believing Frankie was a cokehead, the whole Mikey thing seemed a little odd.
When he did come back down (about ten seconds later--he probably didn't want Frankie to crack it), he was carrying not drugs, but a stack of--DVDs?? What the hell!
Mikey sat down on the floor and the rest of them (besides Gerard) gathered around him like he was some kind of guru.
"So I couldn't make that many this time," he said, "cause it's getting pretty risky. Tom got caught last week, so I have to be really careful about covering my tracks." Frankie nodded solemnly.
"So what do you HAVE?" Ray broke in.
Mikey took a deep breath. "Song of the South," he said.
"Dude!" Frankie pulled his walled out of his back pocket. "How much? That's the one I've been wanting for months!"
"Wait, what the hell is Song of the South?" I broke in. I got the feeling they didn't really want me interrupting their "transaction," but I had to know. Seriously...Song of the South!?
"Disney movie," Gerard muttered, while everyone else stared at me like I'd just taken all my clothes off.
"So...I'm assuming it's not just an ordinary Disney movie?" I considered myself pretty knowledgable about Disney movies, but I'd never even heard of this one.
"It's onl released in Asia," Ray said sardonically. "Mikey downloads them illegally."
"Oh. Smart." I grinned at Mikey, who gave me a small smile and turned back to Frankie. "Fifteen," he said.
"Hussy," Frankie scowled. But he still gave him the money. So did Andy, and Leon, and Bob, and Ray, so that Mikey made about $60.
"I had no idea you were so enterprizing, Mikey," I kidded him.
"Why thank you," he said, pretending to bow.
"Can we watch it now?" Frankie practically squealed.
"No way! I'm waiting till I get home," Ray said. Frankie started to frown, and then stopped halfway.
"Nightmare Before Christmas, then?" He looked expectantly at Mikey.
"Ask Gee; it's his movie," Mikey shrugged. GEE? Frankie turned to Gerard and made puppy dog eyes.
"Pleeease?" he begged. Gerard sighed.
"Fine," he said. "But only cause you did puppy dog eyes."
"Frankie's ALWAYS doing puppy dog eyes," Bob said. "It's practically his default face."
Gerard scoffed and wrapped his arm back around me. Once again, I blushed more than I would've thought was humanly possible, but no ne else seemed to take any notice. Frankie was putting the DVD on, Mikey had gone upstairs to get some chips or something, and Bob, Andy and Leon were fighting over the beanbag.
Soon enough we started, and I'll be honest with you: the movie sucked. Well okay, so it was no "Dead Poet's Society" or anything, but after all the good things I'd heard about the movie it could only disappoint, and disappoint it did. The only thing in the first half of the movie that I fould vaguely amusing was when the vampires got the award for "Most Blood Drawn in One Night" or something. I mean, who else was it gonna go to?
So about halfway through I turned to Gerard, who didn't seem to be paying much attention, and whispered,
"This movie kinda...well, kinda sucks!"
He laughed. "I've seen it heaps of times," he whispered back. "You wanna get something to drink?"
I nodded, and I managed to get to the door without stepping on any of the guys. (Gerard stepped on all of them, but I think that was on purpose.)
We crept up the stairs (although I didn't really know why we were creeping) and into the microscopic kitchen, where we both sat on one counter and swang our feet back and forth.
"So...are you hungry?" Gerard asked, banging his ankle against hime and making me smile.
"Nope," I said. "Are you?"
He cocked his head to the side and thought. "No, not really," he finally said. "I do need a drink, though."
So he hopped off the counter and started going through the kitchen: first the pantry, then the cupboards, then the fridge, and I think he even looked under the sink. I just sat and watched him. Finally he came back over and leaned his arms on my knees.
"I can't find anything," he sighed, defeated.
"You could always drink water," I suggested, always helpful.
Gerard rolled his eyes. "Thanks a bunch." Then he sighed again. "I'm a drunk."
"No you're not," I said. I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his. My hair made a curtain around us.
"Yeah I am," he whispered. "I'm a drunk, and you're beautiful."
See, that was the problem with me. Of the people who'd told me I was beautiful (and okay, I could count them on one hand), I've believed exactly zero of them. The way Gerard said it made me WANT to believe him, but I couldn't.
It didn't matter so much, though, because then he kissed me, and I kind of stopped thinking altogether. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up off the counter. He kind of held me there for a second, so that I was higher than him, before he put me down on the floor, kissing me the entire time.
This was nice. I didn't need to worry about how he thought I looked, or how much he really liked me. I knew he liked me enough to kiss me, and I guessed that was all I deserved. Did I honestly think that anyone as beautiful as him, as smart as him, and as nice as him would really like ME? I didn't think he was using me; he was too nice for that, I was sure. So obviously he hadn't yet realized how worthless I was--yeah, that was it. He'd figure it out soon enough, but I didn't need to think about that right now. I'd think about that when it happened, Right now, Gerard's hand was at the bottom of my shirt, hesitating. Fuck--what if he found my scar?
I don't think he did, though; he just kind of tugged at the hem of my shirt a bit, and that was all it took to make me forget all my worries. I wrapped my arms around his neck and licked his lip a little. I guess he took that as a yes (which it was), because he slowly, slowly slid his hand up inside my shirt.
I almost told him to stop right them, because his hands were so fucking cold, but soon they were playing with the lace on my bra, and then everything felt burning hot. He kept playing with it for awhile--I got the feeling that he was almost as nervous as I was. I'd been to second base with other guys, but I'd never really LIKED any of them. Gerard made everything seem a hundred times more electric and nerve-wracking.
Just when I thought I'd actually die from waiting, he finally slipped his hand under my bra to cup my breast, about the same time as he started kissing my collarbones. That's when my brain started to fog up and I don't really remember what I was thinking.
But soon enough (way too soon for me, actually) he stopped and held my head in his hands. He kissed me slowly and carefully, one last time, and then just leant his forhead against mine. I sighed a little as I let my eyes close. He was perfect; I was a pathetic loser. How could we ever mix? I hadn't wanted to think about it, but everything he did reminded me of the awful truth. I needed to stop thinking. I opened my eyes and found myself looking straight into Gerard's
"You need a drink," he smiled. Suddenly I thought I might cry, so I hugged him quickly and pressed my face into his neck. He hugged me back; his arms felt strong.
"Gerard?" a shrill voice called suddenly, as we heard the front door open and close. "Are you here?"
"Donna," Gerard mumbled. Instinctively stepped away from him just seconds before Mikey's mom walked in. I'd met her once, briefly, and the only word that could describe her was "intimidating". She looked like she might be funny, cool even, if you got to know her, but she gave the impression of never having enough time.
"Oh, hi, Hun," she said. "Hi, Verity."
"Hi, Mrs. Way," I said awkwardly.
"Don't 'Mrs. Way' me," she said. I couldn't tell if she was joking or not. "Call me Donna." I smiled a little.
"Is Mikey here?" she asked Gerard.
"Yeah. And Bob and Frankie and Ray and Andy and Leon."
Donna sighed.
"But I didn't bring them over," Gerard added. "Mikey did."
"Well, as long as you don't burn the house down or anything," she sighed again. Then she looked at me. "Are you staying too?"
"Oh...uh..." For reasons I couldn't explain, I turned bright red.
"Yeah, she is," Gerard said, slipping his arm around my shoulders. "I mena, if it's okay with you."
"Does your mother know you're here?" she asked sternly. I nodded quickly.
"Well how can I say no then? But you're welcome to stay anytime, Verity."
"Thanks, Donna," I smiled. Yay! I could stay with Gerard anytime! Well, as long as he wanted me.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, then," she said, turning to go upstairs. "Just...make sure Frankie doesn't break anything. Last time he was here, he broke the bathroom doorknob, although I never could figure out how he did it."
We all laughed a little, and Donna said goodnight and went upstairs.
"Come here," Gerard said suddenly. He pulled me closer and kissed the three scabs that were gradually fading from my cheek. "You wanna come to the bottle shop with me?"
You see what I mean? Perfect.
"AAAh, the disco ball has blinded me!" Gerard laughed back. He was wobbling too. "I cannot save you!"
No, we weren't at a disco (like I'd even go to one, but whatever), and we weren't drunk either. We were roller skating.
I'd begged Gerard to go as soon as I saw the sign on the highway. He said it wouldn't be open, but wouldn't you know, they were having one of those all-night skate things and we only had to pay five bucks each to get in. It wasn't that great a place--the music itself was okay but the speakers were crap, and the disco ball was extremely annoying--but there were heaps of people there, and the fact that neither of us were very good at skating made it exciting if nothing else. We weren't even on the rink yet--we'd just put on our skates and were wobbling around the benches like a couple of old men.
A few girls skated by--they didn't seem to be having any trouble--and a girl with long, straight hair that was dyed the most amazing silver colour waved in our direction.
"Hey, Gerard!" she smiled.
He nodded to her and turned back to me.
"Frankie's ex," he explained.
"Oh," I replied. Was this the mysterious Teresa-Ann?
We tried skating a bit more and, when I felt brave enough to venture away from the benches, I made my way to the bathroom. Inside was the silver-haired girl and a couple others, taking turns swigging from a silver hip flask. They all turned around and one hid the bottle behind her back.
"Oh, it's you," the silver-haired girl sighed, seeming relieved. "It's okay, she's with Gerard," she told the girl who had the bottle. Then she turned back to me.
"How come I've never met you before?" she asked.
"Um, I just moved here from New York," I said. She smiled widely.
"I love New York," she said. "My dad lives there. What's your name, by the way?"
"Verity," I said, and then grabbed onto the nearest sink to stop myself from falling over. She laughed a bit.
"I'm Terry," she said. Hmm. Could or could not be short for Teresa-Ann.
She held the flask out to me. "You want a drink?"
Normally I wouldn't take a drink from some random stranger, but she seemed nice enough and Gerard knew her, so I shrugged and took a sip from the flask. Eugh, gin. Tastes like shit and gives you a bitch of a hangover, but it's fun while it lasts, so I took another swig.
"I like your hair," I said as I handed her the flask back. The two kind of matched.
"Thanks," she smiled. "I have to get the roots done like every other week, though, so that's a bitch."
I laughed appreciatively.
"Hey...umm, I hope you don't think it's weird, me asking, but...are you and Gerard dating?" a girl with short brown hair asked. Terry looked just as interested.
"Um, sort of," I said. I really, really hated the term "dating," but I didn't feel the need to point that out. "Yeah, we are."
"So you're part of the gang then," Terry said. "Have another drink."
I took the flask again, wondering what the hell she was talking about. Did she mean her gang? Because I seriously doubted that having a drink in a bathroom and dating someone we both happened to know qualified me for the joining of ANY gang. And if she meant she was part of Gerard and Frankie's 'gang' (which is another term I find extremely ghey), then how come they never talked about her? Well actually, Frankie did mention her that one time--that is, if she actually was The Teresa-Ann.
"Hey...is your full name Teresa-Ann, by any chance?" I asked Terry, giving her the flask again. She smiled.
"Yeah, that's what I went by when I was going out with Frankie," she said.
"So you actually dated him?" This was new to me. Frankie had only ever mentioned hooking up with her.
"Yeah," she nodded. "We didn't like each other that much, though. We just hooked up at a party and then people kind of assumed we were a couple, so we went with it for awhile. But it got old quickly."
I nodded. I'd been in the same situation a few times myself.
"Well, uh, thanks for the drink," I said. Speaking of which, I was beginning to feel it--it was hard not to wobble even when I WAS holding the sink.
"No problem," Terry smiled. Her smile was kind of creepy. "I'll see you around then?"
"Yeah, guess so," I said. I was starting to feel claustrophobic--the bathroom wasn't actually that small, but there were about six of us in there, and I needed some air. "See you."
They all nodded again and I half-skated, half-hobbled out. Gerard was leaning against the wall waiting for me.
"Hey, you okay?" he asked. He grabbed my hand just as I was about to fall, and pulled me close.
"Yep," I nodded. "Only...I still can't skate properly."
He smiled. "Yeah, and I bet that gin isn't helping much."
I blinked. "How did you know that?"
"I can smell it," he grinned.
"Well you've been drinking whiskey," I accused.
"Baby girl, I'm ALWAYS drinking whiskey."
Baby girl. He called me baby girl. I tried not to fall over.
He pulled me closer and had just touched his lips to mine when the bathroom door opened and the girls spilled out in all their pierced, tattooed, badge-adorned glory. Terry smiled a little condescendingly at us as they skated past. Gerard rolled his eyes.
"Come on, let's go," he said, pulling me towards the rink. Terry and her friends were already going around, and I would've been annoyed at the way they flaunted their skating skills, except that this just meant Gerard and I had better things to do than fucking skate all day.
What I hadn't thought about was how much more sliperry it would be on the cement than the carpet.
"Gerard, I'm not kidding! I'm seriously about to fall over!" I half-yelled over the music. We were still on our first lap around the rink--it wasn't that big, but we were laughing too hard to concentrate on skating.
"YOU'RE about to fall? I'M about to--" Gerard started to say, but then he stopped because he actually did fall. What's more, he kind of skidded across the floor and ended up at the feet of a bunch of fourteen-year-old girls dressed like baby prostitutes. I struggled not to laugh as he squinted up at them.
"Sorry," he was saying as I wobbled over to him. They were looking at him like he was a piece of dirt. Bitches.
"You're such an idiot," I giggled, putting my hand out for him to take. He grabbed my hand, but as soon as he did I stacked it too, landing pretty much on top of him. We both lay there lauging as the girls skated off.
"Oww," I moaned, rubbing the back of my head. I swear to god, I was probably gonna end up with brain damage from all the times I'd hit my head recently.
"Ditto," Gerard sighed, and wrapped his arms around me.
"Come on, get up, it's cold down here," I said even though I wanted nothing more than to stay on the ground with him.
"No," he whined. "People are making fun of me 'cause I can't skate."
I laughed. "Well you are pretty shit at it, you know."
He glared at me. I glared back until he smiled, and then I smiled too.
"Fuck, this song sucks," he laughed suddenly as some horrible Aqua tune started up. Then he frowned.
"I just killed the mood, didn't I?" he sighed again.
"Nope," I smiled. He smiled back, and was just moving in to kiss me when the guy who was 'supervising' the rink (I have no idea what they're called, but this one kind of looked like a Patrick) came over.
"Sorry guys, but you gotta move," he said. He seemed kind of embarrased. "It's dangerous for the other skaters in the dark."
"Sorry," Gerard said, and I could tell by his face that he was trying not to laugh. So was I.
So we managed to get up and out of the rink without falling again, although I still don't know how we managed it, since I hadn't been skating since the third grade--when Sophie got food poisoning from the crappy popcorn--and Gerard wouldn't tell me when he'd last been, which made me suspect he'd never skated before in his life.
Now that I thought about it, I actually hadn't called Sophie to let her know about visiting; my mom had agreed, but she'd have to share a room with me since Cara was now in the spare. But that wasn't why I hadn't called her; we'd slept in each other's beds millions of times in New York, and she'd once stayed with us for a whole summer vacation while her parents were visiting relatives.
I don't know why I hadn't called her. I was acting like a complete idiot, and I didn't even have a valid reason! I guess I was just worried about what would happen if we'd both changed too much to keep being friends. But Sophie was always the one who sent me corny "BFFL" cards for no reason, and used to go on about how we'd be best friends till death do us part. A little thing like distance couldn't ruin that, could it?
So I turned to Gerard and said, "Hey, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, kay?"
He pretended to glare at me again. "Fine, but don't let me catch you drinking gin again."
"Try and stop me," I said, standing up. We both rolled our eyes at my lame comeback, and I made it to the bathroom without further mishap. It was empty this time, so I pulled out my phone and dialed while I looked in the mirror. Eww eww eww.
The phone rang a few times before she picked up. "Hello?"
"Hey Sophie, it's Verity," I said.
"Oh...hey!" She sounded surprised, but in a good way. "How's it?"
"Oh, pretty good," I said. Who cared? "What about you?"
"Oh, you know," she said nonchalantly. "Same old, same old."
I laughed appreciatively. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that my mom said it's fine if you come down. Just, uh, you'd have to share a room with me. Cara's living with us again."
"Oh, that's fine," she said quickly. "Is it okay if I come, say...tomorrow?" Tomorrow was Thursday.
"Yeah, that's great, cause my friend's having some kind of party on Saturday, so you can come with me and meet everyone," I said. "What time does your train arrive?"
"Uhhhh...one second," she said, and I heard her fingers clicking on the keyboard of her computer in the background. "There's one at either twelve noon or five thirty."
"Okay, well get the one at five thirty, and I'll ask Gerard if he'll drive me to pick you up after school," I said.
"Who's Gerard?" she said. Her voice sounded suddenly sharp--or was it just me?
"Oh...I forgot, you don't know him. Well, he's um...we're kind of together," I said haltingly. I was unaccountably nervous of what her reaction would be. When she laughed I was relieved.
"Kind of?" she teased.
"Officially," I clarified, feeling slightly foolish. "We're definitely together."
"What the fuck! You've been in Jersey for what, two weeks? You slut!" she laughed. I laughed too, knowing she was only joking. "And why am I just hearing about this now?"
"I know, I know! I should've told you. But stuff just...happened," I said, grimacing at the lameness of the words coming out of my mouth. "I mean, it...well, I'll tell you everything tomorrow, 'kay?"
"Okay," she said easily. "But I'm expecting the full story!"
We chatted a bit more and she told me what station her train was arriving at, and then we hung up. When I walked out, Gerard was waiting for me again.
"Miss me?" I joked.
He screwed up his face like a five-year-old. "Just a lot."
I smiled at him, and then he yawned. So naturally I yawned too.
"Are you as tired as I am?" he asked.
"Mmm-hmm," I hummed.
"You wanna leave?" he asked.
"Mmm not yet," I said. "Let's sit."
There was a big plastic yellow bench in the corner, close enough for us to get to it without falling over, so we slumped down there. I yawned again as I layed my head on his shoulder. Why was I so fucking tired? Maybe the gin was wearing off. Meh.
"So can you stay at my house tonight?" Gerard asked, laying his head on top of mine.
"Yeah," I said.
"Awesome."
And then suddenly, I thought of sex. I don't know why; I just had the thought, 'Maybe Gerard wants to sleep with me tonight.' And I got all nervous.
"Do you wanna just go now?" I asked him quickly. Why was I asking HIM? He was the one who was driving. I was an idiot.
"You know what? Fuck it, I actually do," he chuckled. We sat up straight and I tried to take off my skates, but as soon as I leant forward I started to fall off the seat.
"Fuck," Gerard laughed, pulling me back up. "Here, I'll do it." And before I could say anything, he'd clambered onto the ground in front of me and started unlacing my skates.
Fuck, Gerard looked so good. He was wearing what he usually did, jeans and a dark hoodie with a bit of eyeliner, but now he looked...different somehow. Better.
He was looking down and kind of smiling to himself, like it was just too perfect that he got to undo my laces for me because he could hold his liquor better than I could. I suddenly had the urge to run my fingers through his hair, but of course I didn't.
Then he looked up, catching me staring straight at him. I blushed to the tips of my fucking toes, but at least I didn't look away. He broke into a smile.
"There," he said. "You're done." I hadn't realized he'd finished with my skates.
"Thank you," I smiled. I looked from his eyes to his lips and back again, and all I wanted right then was for him to kiss me.
He must have been a mind-reader or some shit, because that's exactly what he did. The music pumped around us and I felt the heat of the strobe light on my face as his lips touched mine. We pulled apart at the same time and, as far as kisses go, it was pretty much perfect. He smiled at me, and I just knew instinctively that he felt the same way. I wanted to kiss him again, and I would've, only he'd already stood up.
"Let's roll," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. My feet were light after being weighed down by the skates, and I felt like Gerard's hand was the only thing keeping me from floating away. But I kind of liked it down here, with Gerard.
Gerard's P.O.V.
Verity and I didn't say much on the drive back to my place; we didn't need to. I was kind of careless with my gear-changes and stuff, because I wasn't really concentrating on the road. All I wanted was to get home so I could finally, FINALLY, be alone with Verity.
We went into my room through the separate entrance; it wasn't that late, but I seriously didn't want to talk to anyone else. I felt like if anyone outside of this feeling came in-between us, we'd lose what had gradually been building up all night, and what I didn't even have a name for. I know it sounds fucking ridiculous, seeing as I'd only known her a little while, but I got the feeling that love, if it even existed, would feel pretty fucking close to this.
When we got inside and I turned the lights on, Verity looked so beautiful that I just wanted to grab her...and kiss her...and kiss the crap out of her! I thought that would seem a bit odd, though, so I kicked off my shoes and managed to fall face-down on my bed without hitting the desk or anything else on the way (a Big Accomplishment for me). I smiled into the pillow when I felt Verity hit the mattress beside me.
"So. Fucking. Tired," she moaned--or, at least that's what it sounded like. I reached over and wrapped my arm around her; she snuggled up to me, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep...
"NINJAAA!" Frankie's voice drilled a hole in my skull about the same time that he body-slammed us.
"Oh, FUCK no," I mumbled, forcing myself to sit up. Frankie was giggling like a demonic preschooler as he lay on top of Verity, who looked slightly pained and very confused, and me. I didn't even know Frankie was HERE.
"What the fuck is WRONG with you?" I demanded. I mean, I know he was my best friend and all, but I had my limits, and being body-slammed while dozing with my girlfriend (ntely one of them. Then I noticed that Verity was laughing, and suddenly I didn't mind as much.
"Well, he IS pretty brave," she said, "disturbing The Gerard when he's sleeping." Frankie smiled smugly.
"Yeah, well, that's ten points for effort, minus ten for stupidity," I said, mock-smiling back at him. "You're still gonna die."
At that point, Frankie rolled off the bed (whacking his head on the desk, I might add) and Bob and Mikey came tumbling through the door.
"Sorry, Gerard," Mikey panted. "We tried to stop him, but--"
"But he's just so damn fast!" Bob finished, panting also.
"You took your fucking time," I grumbled, stretching a little.
"Ow," Frankie moaned from somewhere on the floor. We all ignored him. Someone banged on the outside door.
"That'll be Ray," Mikey supplied. Fuck--was EVERYONE coming?
Ray walked in, followed by Leon and Andy. I groaned.
"Well hello to you too," Andy grinned.
"Naw, man, I'm just tired," I sighed, flopping back down.
"Mikey, dude, I heard you got new stock," Ray said. Frankie popped up immediately, death-glaring Mikey.
"I was gonna tell you!" Mikey began.
End Gerard's P.O.V.
Back to Verity's P.O.V. (as per usual)
New stock? What, was Mikey a fucking dealer? I was gonna ask Gerard what he was selling, but since Mikey'd already ran off to get his "stock," I figured I'd find out soon enough.
"How is it that YOU know about this and I don't?" Frankie asked Ray. He seemed to be overreacting a bit to the whole thing. Unless Mikey really WAS a dealer, and Frankie was hooked. While I had no trouble believing Frankie was a cokehead, the whole Mikey thing seemed a little odd.
When he did come back down (about ten seconds later--he probably didn't want Frankie to crack it), he was carrying not drugs, but a stack of--DVDs?? What the hell!
Mikey sat down on the floor and the rest of them (besides Gerard) gathered around him like he was some kind of guru.
"So I couldn't make that many this time," he said, "cause it's getting pretty risky. Tom got caught last week, so I have to be really careful about covering my tracks." Frankie nodded solemnly.
"So what do you HAVE?" Ray broke in.
Mikey took a deep breath. "Song of the South," he said.
"Dude!" Frankie pulled his walled out of his back pocket. "How much? That's the one I've been wanting for months!"
"Wait, what the hell is Song of the South?" I broke in. I got the feeling they didn't really want me interrupting their "transaction," but I had to know. Seriously...Song of the South!?
"Disney movie," Gerard muttered, while everyone else stared at me like I'd just taken all my clothes off.
"So...I'm assuming it's not just an ordinary Disney movie?" I considered myself pretty knowledgable about Disney movies, but I'd never even heard of this one.
"It's onl released in Asia," Ray said sardonically. "Mikey downloads them illegally."
"Oh. Smart." I grinned at Mikey, who gave me a small smile and turned back to Frankie. "Fifteen," he said.
"Hussy," Frankie scowled. But he still gave him the money. So did Andy, and Leon, and Bob, and Ray, so that Mikey made about $60.
"I had no idea you were so enterprizing, Mikey," I kidded him.
"Why thank you," he said, pretending to bow.
"Can we watch it now?" Frankie practically squealed.
"No way! I'm waiting till I get home," Ray said. Frankie started to frown, and then stopped halfway.
"Nightmare Before Christmas, then?" He looked expectantly at Mikey.
"Ask Gee; it's his movie," Mikey shrugged. GEE? Frankie turned to Gerard and made puppy dog eyes.
"Pleeease?" he begged. Gerard sighed.
"Fine," he said. "But only cause you did puppy dog eyes."
"Frankie's ALWAYS doing puppy dog eyes," Bob said. "It's practically his default face."
Gerard scoffed and wrapped his arm back around me. Once again, I blushed more than I would've thought was humanly possible, but no ne else seemed to take any notice. Frankie was putting the DVD on, Mikey had gone upstairs to get some chips or something, and Bob, Andy and Leon were fighting over the beanbag.
Soon enough we started, and I'll be honest with you: the movie sucked. Well okay, so it was no "Dead Poet's Society" or anything, but after all the good things I'd heard about the movie it could only disappoint, and disappoint it did. The only thing in the first half of the movie that I fould vaguely amusing was when the vampires got the award for "Most Blood Drawn in One Night" or something. I mean, who else was it gonna go to?
So about halfway through I turned to Gerard, who didn't seem to be paying much attention, and whispered,
"This movie kinda...well, kinda sucks!"
He laughed. "I've seen it heaps of times," he whispered back. "You wanna get something to drink?"
I nodded, and I managed to get to the door without stepping on any of the guys. (Gerard stepped on all of them, but I think that was on purpose.)
We crept up the stairs (although I didn't really know why we were creeping) and into the microscopic kitchen, where we both sat on one counter and swang our feet back and forth.
"So...are you hungry?" Gerard asked, banging his ankle against hime and making me smile.
"Nope," I said. "Are you?"
He cocked his head to the side and thought. "No, not really," he finally said. "I do need a drink, though."
So he hopped off the counter and started going through the kitchen: first the pantry, then the cupboards, then the fridge, and I think he even looked under the sink. I just sat and watched him. Finally he came back over and leaned his arms on my knees.
"I can't find anything," he sighed, defeated.
"You could always drink water," I suggested, always helpful.
Gerard rolled his eyes. "Thanks a bunch." Then he sighed again. "I'm a drunk."
"No you're not," I said. I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his. My hair made a curtain around us.
"Yeah I am," he whispered. "I'm a drunk, and you're beautiful."
See, that was the problem with me. Of the people who'd told me I was beautiful (and okay, I could count them on one hand), I've believed exactly zero of them. The way Gerard said it made me WANT to believe him, but I couldn't.
It didn't matter so much, though, because then he kissed me, and I kind of stopped thinking altogether. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up off the counter. He kind of held me there for a second, so that I was higher than him, before he put me down on the floor, kissing me the entire time.
This was nice. I didn't need to worry about how he thought I looked, or how much he really liked me. I knew he liked me enough to kiss me, and I guessed that was all I deserved. Did I honestly think that anyone as beautiful as him, as smart as him, and as nice as him would really like ME? I didn't think he was using me; he was too nice for that, I was sure. So obviously he hadn't yet realized how worthless I was--yeah, that was it. He'd figure it out soon enough, but I didn't need to think about that right now. I'd think about that when it happened, Right now, Gerard's hand was at the bottom of my shirt, hesitating. Fuck--what if he found my scar?
I don't think he did, though; he just kind of tugged at the hem of my shirt a bit, and that was all it took to make me forget all my worries. I wrapped my arms around his neck and licked his lip a little. I guess he took that as a yes (which it was), because he slowly, slowly slid his hand up inside my shirt.
I almost told him to stop right them, because his hands were so fucking cold, but soon they were playing with the lace on my bra, and then everything felt burning hot. He kept playing with it for awhile--I got the feeling that he was almost as nervous as I was. I'd been to second base with other guys, but I'd never really LIKED any of them. Gerard made everything seem a hundred times more electric and nerve-wracking.
Just when I thought I'd actually die from waiting, he finally slipped his hand under my bra to cup my breast, about the same time as he started kissing my collarbones. That's when my brain started to fog up and I don't really remember what I was thinking.
But soon enough (way too soon for me, actually) he stopped and held my head in his hands. He kissed me slowly and carefully, one last time, and then just leant his forhead against mine. I sighed a little as I let my eyes close. He was perfect; I was a pathetic loser. How could we ever mix? I hadn't wanted to think about it, but everything he did reminded me of the awful truth. I needed to stop thinking. I opened my eyes and found myself looking straight into Gerard's
"You need a drink," he smiled. Suddenly I thought I might cry, so I hugged him quickly and pressed my face into his neck. He hugged me back; his arms felt strong.
"Gerard?" a shrill voice called suddenly, as we heard the front door open and close. "Are you here?"
"Donna," Gerard mumbled. Instinctively stepped away from him just seconds before Mikey's mom walked in. I'd met her once, briefly, and the only word that could describe her was "intimidating". She looked like she might be funny, cool even, if you got to know her, but she gave the impression of never having enough time.
"Oh, hi, Hun," she said. "Hi, Verity."
"Hi, Mrs. Way," I said awkwardly.
"Don't 'Mrs. Way' me," she said. I couldn't tell if she was joking or not. "Call me Donna." I smiled a little.
"Is Mikey here?" she asked Gerard.
"Yeah. And Bob and Frankie and Ray and Andy and Leon."
Donna sighed.
"But I didn't bring them over," Gerard added. "Mikey did."
"Well, as long as you don't burn the house down or anything," she sighed again. Then she looked at me. "Are you staying too?"
"Oh...uh..." For reasons I couldn't explain, I turned bright red.
"Yeah, she is," Gerard said, slipping his arm around my shoulders. "I mena, if it's okay with you."
"Does your mother know you're here?" she asked sternly. I nodded quickly.
"Well how can I say no then? But you're welcome to stay anytime, Verity."
"Thanks, Donna," I smiled. Yay! I could stay with Gerard anytime! Well, as long as he wanted me.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, then," she said, turning to go upstairs. "Just...make sure Frankie doesn't break anything. Last time he was here, he broke the bathroom doorknob, although I never could figure out how he did it."
We all laughed a little, and Donna said goodnight and went upstairs.
"Come here," Gerard said suddenly. He pulled me closer and kissed the three scabs that were gradually fading from my cheek. "You wanna come to the bottle shop with me?"
You see what I mean? Perfect.
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