FicWad

The leaves were crunching beneath her feet. And once again, Sophia was walking downtown towards the library. Looking around her, she saw cheerful kids playing in the park and smiles everywhere. Once, she was like them, happy and contented with her life. Sophia was so absorbed in her thoughts that she forgot all her problems and worries for a while. But soon, her thoughts returned to her brother and his friends. Knowing them, they were probably playing basketball. She sighed. She still had homework, but in her hurry in leaving the house, she left them all in her room. She kicked a pebble out of the way. Since that incident one month ago, she could never face her brother without feeling guilty and ashamed. She knew that Lance would come, so as soon as she heard the doorbell ring, she bolted out the back door, jumped over the low fence, and walked quickly before anyone spotted her.


'How could Lance act as if nothing happened?' she thought bitterly.


Sophia reached the library steps and pushed open the heavy wooden doors. Looking straight ahead, she walked to her usual table at the back end of the library. But on her way, she saw some people she knew from school and saw Ashley among them.


Ashley. Lance's sister.


So she took the long way, and glimpsed at a hall she never saw before. There she saw a display cabinet with locks and bolts keeping you from opening it. Sophia tried taking her eyes away from the old book inside and to just walk past it but found that she couldn't. She was drawn to it and desperately wanted to get it out. The feeling was unexplainable. It was as if she just had to get to it. She walked over to the cabinet and tried to pick the lock with her hair pin.


'Darn it. Open up you stupid lock,' she mumbled. She picked it open.


'Finally,' Sophia breathed. 'One down, twelve more to go,' she thought.


"I suggest you leave that book, go home, and forget about it," a soft voice spoke up from behind her. Mr. Linden, the library owner, came up to her.


"That book is dangerous Sophia, I'm warning you," the old librarian said, his voice shaking. Seeing that he was serious, she nodded and silently walked back to her table.


Just like the other days, she made sure she would go home right before the library closes and after her eighteen year old brother Matt's friends leave their house. Troubling thoughts circled inside her head and she tried to shake them off. She was remembering it again.


'Am I ever going to forget what happened?' she wondered.


The scene played over and over in her head; she definitely wouldn't forget anytime soon. Sophia was alone that fateful night. Her parents were in Matt's game and she had a project so she stayed home. She knew he would win anyway; doesn't he always? But the real reason why she didn't go was because Matt would try to make her fit in again. He'd often make her sit with his obnoxious, rich, and popular friends and that makes her feel more inferior to them that her popular older brother had to share his friends because she didn't have any. He didn't understand that he was the popular one and she just wasn't meant to be like him; she preferred to be alone. Despite all that, she still loved her brother and was grateful for him and her family. She loved them dearly and would do most anything for them. You could say that her family was her only reason for still being alive right now. She wouldn't dare hurt them and it pains her to see them hurt.


Sophia, a normal sixteen year old, was a simple, ordinary girl with brown hair and brown eyes, so not many people notice her. Little did she know, one person did...


She heard the doorbell ring so she ran downstairs to open the door.


"Oh hi, Lance," she greeted, catching her breath.


"Hello, Sophie," Lance said, smiling.


"Matt's not here, he's in school, maybe you'll catch him there," she said quickly, all in one breath, her face flushed.


"Oh I'm not looking for Matt. I'm here because I was looking for you..." he said softly, eyes burning straight into hers.


Sophia squeezed her eyes shut. 'No! Stop it! Don't ever think about it again,' she said to herself. She shivered. She couldn't forget that night. The night Lance, Matt's best friend, the one she was closest to, raped her. She still remembered how he looked...


He had pushed her violently against the wall and had a manic look in his eyes. Thinking he was crazy or something, she had screamed for someone, anyone, to help her. "What the hell's wrong with you Lance?!" she shouted. "Are you out of your mind?!" It came to her that maybe he was. Coz then Lance pushed her to the floor, and forced a damp cloth to her face. She started to get drowsy but she could still feel him as he ripped her clothes off. After a few seconds, the drug had taken its toll and she could remember no more. The next thing she knew, she was on the floor and he was gone.


"Riiiiiing!!!" She jumped. Looking at her watch, she saw that it was already closing time. She stood up and walked to the exit. She was taking her time walking and then finally, she reached the house. Sophia breathed a sigh of relief.


'Whew. No more friends. No more Lance,' she thought.


Going to the library was her escape. Her only escape from that nightmare of seeing him. She never told anyone. Not her parents, not even her brother. That was the reason she felt guilty, because usually, she tells Matt everything.


She shook her head. 'No, you did the right thing. If you told him, he would kill Lance for sure. You don't want that, do you?' she thought.


'But you know what he did to you! You can't just let him get away with it!' another voice whispered.


'I'm not that cold-hearted. He'll learn that what he did was wrong. Give him time. He'll learn...' feeling reassured, she walked up the stone path and opened the front door.


She had been avoiding Matt ever since because whenever she sees him, she couldn't forget that Lance was his friend and he never knew what his best friend did. Running up to her room, she jumped to her bed and lying down, stared at the ceiling. The old book came back to her thoughts. It was like she had to read it. Get it. Steal it. And so Sophia fell asleep with a plan...


The next day was a Saturday so she could sleep late. The sun was shining and glared at her through her window. She didn't sleep well at all. She was up practically all night and had nightmares again. She groaned. Rolling over her back, she tried to go back to sleep and put her pillow on her face.


'It's only -she looked at the clock- 10:28 in the morning and the sun is waking me up already???' she thought, obviously annoyed.


Her mom knocked on her door a few minutes later. "Wake up, honey, it's time for breakfast!" her mother shouted.


"I don't care!" she shouted in reply. "A few more minutes..." she muttered sleepily. "-or hours..."


"SOPHIA!!! Wake up! It's 6 o'clock at night and you haven't eaten or showered! Get up right now!" her mom screamed.


Sophia sat up quickly. 'Six?! I have to get to the library!' she thought, frantic.


She took a bath and got something to eat before going out of the house. "Mom! Dad! I'm going out!" she called to her parents. "Be back for dinner," her mom answered.


She walked up to the library and went inside. Her heart was thumping against her chest but she tried to look as if she wasn't up to something. Slowly, she checked if Mr. Linden was watching her. He wasn't. So she went down the same corridor she found the night before. Knowing that the library was going to close soon and the librarians would be preparing; she took her time picking the thirteen locks keeping her from getting the book. After a few minutes, Sophia opened all the locks and got the old book. She quickly hid it in her jacket and went out just as the bell rang, signaling closing time. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead and her knuckles turned white from clenching her sweaty hands. She didn't know why she was so nervous.


'All because of some stupid book. I mean, it's not like I did something illegal, right? Right???' she thought.


'Oh, stop it! This is ridiculous! It's just a book, Sophia! From the library???' She reached her front door and tried to compose herself.


Hair? Fine.

Hands? Sweaty. Uh-oh.

Cheeks? Red. Oh no.

Teeth? Chattering. Shit.

Legs? Jelly. Damn it.


'Stop acting like a weirdo. You just borrowed a book,' she told herself. Breathe in, breathe out.


'Okay. I'm okay.' She opened the door; called out to her mom (I'm home!), kissed her on the cheek, bolted up the steps, ran to her room and slammed the door.


Alone. Finally.


But before she could even turn one page, her dad called her down for dinner. She cursed under her breath but stood up and went down. After eating, she had to do the dishes, take out the trash, fix her things, do her homework, clean up the mess in her room, and take a bath. She was so tired, she just managed to open the book and finally, she closed her eyes. But not before she glanced down at the page and saw nothing written. The book wasn't a book. It was just old, yellowed papers with not even a word scribbled. It was all for nothing.


Sophia never slept soundly ever since 'it' happened. She often - ok, fine. - always, had nightmares. Mostly about the rape, but often she dreams of her fears, of everything gone wrong, of her loved ones taken away, of the things that should have been, of her faults and failures that left her with lifelong regrets, of her feelings of isolation and loneliness. All in her dreams. She would wake up in tears and sweating under her blankets, her pillow wet with tears and her eyes all red. This all happened before dawn so everyone was asleep and she had time to put her mask on, plaster her smile on her face, and act as if she was the same Sophia. Which she wasn't.


The book lay open beside her on the bed. She was dreaming about the usual, but this time it was different. The book stared copying all her nightmares and fears. Letters came out of her mind and went straight to the book. Words were forming on the book's once empty pages. Of course, Sophia knew nothing of this. But she'll soon find out that everything's changed, and will never be the same again.


She woke up with a start. She had almost forgotten about the book, but when she saw it open beside her, she read it once more. Remembering last night and it's empty pages, she wondered briefly what happened now that it wasn't blank. Not blank at all.


From the first page to the last, there were writings. Weird. Thinking she was just tired the night before, she dismissed the thoughts and just went on reading. She was so absorbed in it that she never felt it pulling her, forcing her to come closer. Ignoring the thoughts in her head telling her to stop it. Tuning out on her mom who was calling her for breakfast. Playing deaf to her brother's shouting and yelling to loud music. She was hypnotized by the book, and she didn't mind at all. She was about to read the next chapter when her mom came in without knocking to check on her. Her mom told her to eat breakfast, snapping her head back to reality. Reluctantly, she placed the book down and followed her mother downstairs. Sophia heard her dad yelling at her brother to turn the radio down. She frowned when she saw her brother roll his eyes at her dad. When they were all seated at the table, her father started lecturing Matt about the importance of conserving electricity. Her brother, once again, rolled his eyes, then turned to Sophia and winked, -rather roguishly- at her. Sophia winced at the action. Matt's forehead creased when he saw his sister cringe. He reached out and was about to touch her shoulder when she jumped up, mumbled an excuse and scampered out of the kitchen. Her mother shot Matt an accusing glare.


"What was that all about?" she asked him.


"That's what I'd like to know myself," he replied.


Once she reached her room, Sophia locked the door and quickly jumped into her bed. Was she being paranoid? This was her brother, Matt. He wouldn't do anything to her especially in front of her parents. She shivered at the thought. Quickly, she snatched the book that she left lying open on her bed. She idly flipped the pages to where she stopped.


'Odd,' she thought. For the book, which started out as a rather pleasant read about a little girl and her storybook life, had changed into tips. To be specific, tips on how to fight off unwanted men in her life. Eagerly, she started to read. Her eyes widened on how bluntly the book put it.


If all else fails, there is nothing left to do but eliminate.


The sentence seemed to jump out, hiding the other words from view. "This is getting weird," she muttered to the empty room.


'But it makes sense, don't you think?' said a voice in her head. "Hmmm..."


"Sophia?" Matt entered her room without knocking and sat beside his sister who was sprawled out on her bed.


"What do you want?" she asked as she eyed the small space between them. Matt saw this and frowned.


"What's your problem, sis?" he asked, looking concerned.


'Too concerned if you ask me,' Sophia thought. "Nothing," she answered, getting up quickly.


Still frowning at her jumpy movements, Matt got up and took a hesitant step forward. On cue, Sophia took a big step back.


Clenching his fist, Matt stepped back again. "I'll see you at lunch, Sophie."


She nodded at his retreating form. She sighed, thankful that he left. She plopped down on her bed and sat for a while, just thinking.


'Sophie.'


That nickname danced in her mind.


"Hello, Sophie," Lance said, smiling.


'Lance!' She hated Matt at that moment. Why did he have to confirm her suspicions by saying that stupid nickname?


Forgetting about the book, she headed downstairs to raid the fridge; she was getting hungry. On her way down, she heard faint voices talking inside her dad's study. Tiptoeing down the steps, she crept up to the door to listen in.


"What do you think is wrong with her? She was acting strange. Jumpy, all of a sudden. Not like her usual self...I'm really worried. Do you think we should talk to her? I'm sure she'll tell us what's happening, don't you think?"


It was her mother's voice. And they were obviously talking about her. Annoyed and angry, she stormed back to her room, forgetting about her hunger.


'Why can't they just mind their own business?!' she thought, fuming.


Sophia picked up the book and started to read again. 'That's weird,' she thought. The book wasn't about men anymore; it was all about dealing with annoying people prying into your life.


'Parents, obviously,' she thought, rolling her eyes. Suddenly interested, she read on.


If nothing works, kill.


Again, Sophia was shocked with what she read.


'Well, it does make sense...' she thought. The sun was now and she didn't want to go down for dinner, for she knew Matt and her parents will be there, and she didn't want to see them. Lying down on her bed, she fell asleep, again not knowing that the book was open. Ti was copying her dreams again. In her sleep, she heard voices taunting her. It was whispering nasty words telling her she was a coward, going through all that trouble and not taking the book's advice. She got up from her bed and went down to the kitchen. A gleaming, silver knife was hanging over the stove, as if waiting for her to get it. Use it. Sophia snatched the knife and ran her fingers over the blade, feeling the sharpness of it. And it was very, very sharp. Just perfect. With a menacing gleam in her eyes, she crept towards her parent's bedroom and opened the door quietly. She smirked when she saw her parents lying side by side on the bed. 'They would get whet they deserve,' she thought angrily. They didn't have any right to pry in her personal life. Lifting the knife over her mother's body, she plunged the blade into her heart. Then chaos broke loose. Her mother's screams echoed throughout the house waling her father. Her dad took one glance at his wife's bloody state before a glass vase crashed over his head, knocking him unconscious. She stabbed he mother twelve more times before turning her attention to her father who had bloody pieces of glass all over his face. A startled scream was heard from the door and she saw her good-for-nothing brother standing there, shock written all over his face. Before he could utter a word, Sophia advanced toward him. The knife positioned on his chest, Matt snapped back to reality as he saw what his sister was about to do.


"Iya, Iya, don't. What are you doing? Please stop this..." he pleaded.


She laughed evilly, a dark look on her face. "You of all people, telling me to stop what I'm doing? You should talk. Trying to seduce your own sister," she spat out angrily, at the same time throwing a glass ornament his way, which he successfully dodged.


He would have laughed at her ridiculous thinking, if he hadn't caught the gleam in her eyes that could have killed bloody murder.


"What the hell are you talking about?!" he asked, now confused.


"You're just like Lance, but you're worse!" she screamed.


"What are you ranting about?!" he asked, close to screaming himself, and still backing away from his sister who was slowly advancing towards him.


"Do you know what your best friend did to me?! He came here and raped me and you don't even care!" she shouted. She didn't care that she made no sense, since the reason he didn't care was because he didn't know, because she never told him.


Matt looked lost. "He did WHAT?!" he asked angrily, completely forgetting that his sister, who had a knife between them, was trying to kill him.


"I'll kill him!" he shouted furiously. Sophia looked him straight in the eye. "No you're not. Because I'M going to kill him," she whispered, her voice dangerously low. "But not until I kill you first..."


Sophia felt something sticky and wet on her face. Yawning, she stretched before opening her eyes. She regretted it once she did.


Lying on the floor of her parents' room, she saw the dead bodies of her parents and her brother. She let out a blood-curling scream as she ran to her room at top speed. She reached for the phone, about to call nine-one-one, when something stopped her. She saw her reflection in the hallway mirror. She was drenched in blood. Their blood.


Realizing that it was her who killed them, she paled instantly. Walking slowly back to her parents' room, she sat down beside her brother's body and did the only thing she could think of. She took the knife and slit her throat, silent tears streaming down her face.


Mr. Linden was about to lock the book back in the cabinet. He shook his head sadly. Another one fell into the power of the old book. He was quite surprised that morning when he received a call from the police telling him about the incident. He had warned her about the book. But now it was too late.



It's your own fault if you did wrong

Nothing can change what's done

For it's better to listen to those you love

Unless you want them gone



This was found on the last page of the old book.

Strange isn't it? A dream came true...