Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

The Cure For Unhappiness

by xxACoalminexx 6 reviews

He feels lost. Lost and jealous of the people walking by. All he wants is Helena back. But she's gone...gone forever...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Published: 2007-12-05 - Updated: 2007-12-06 - 1296 words - Complete

He sat, with arms folded across his lap. He sat staring. Waiting. The world was spinning, speeding ahead of him. He didn’t care, though. His world had already ended. All that was left in him was a big pile of nothing. The bare, white walls around him were a mere disguise. Soon enough, the paint would peel off, revealing the dark, fiery pits of Hell. But he wouldn’t mind. He’d let himself drown in the flames. He’d let the fires scorch his face until the skin melted off. Because frankly, his life was the only thing guarding the way between him and where he wanted to be; with Helena. So Gerard sat atop his bed, awaiting the fate he had already foreseen. It was only a matter of time.

Everyone else his family seemed to have moved on much quicker than he had. They apparently just stopped thinking about Helena. That was the best solution, according to them. He didn’t find it as simple as they all made it appear. Whenever he shut his eyes, he could see his grandmother's old, yet smooth face. He could remember the way she smiled with her eyes, and not just her mouth. The way she beamed whenever she showed up to one of his concerts. She would always be in the front row, grinning up at him. He could trace this memory all the way back to when he was in the fourth grade.

He had somehow gotten himself the lead role in the school’s production of Peter Pan. His grandmother had been so happy. She even stitched him a costume, complete with green tights. He loathed wearing it. He found it absolutely embarrassing. But he had done it for her. He had smiled, and sung, and danced. He’d made Helena proud, she’d said so herself. Although he was beyond ecstatic about pleasing his grandmother, he had vowed to himself that he would never sing onstage ever again.

Well, ha! He had broken that over and over again. People were now beginning to hear of him and his band worldwide! Girls had been following him around lately, saying how much they loved him. He didn’t want any of the fame and attention he was getting. In fact, he was actually jealous of all his fans. Being famous didn’t match any of the moments he spent with Helena. He was wishing he had stuck to his self-promise. If he had, he would have been there before she died. He could have said a proper farewell, not a rushed one in front of his band mates. He remembered the last time he saw her in person. He recalled Helena’s exact words.

“I’m so proud of you Gerard,” she had said, kissing his cheek, “You’re becoming such a talented young man. Don’t ever stop trying. I love you, honey.”

He knew his brother, Mikey, had also gotten similar words spoken to him but nevertheless, it made Gerard smile. She had meant what she said. Her sincerity was obvious from the way she looked at him. He had taken those looks for granted back then, since he received them often. He missed her so much nowadays. It was a shock to him when he collected the news of her death. He and the band had been in Wisconsin when he got the phone call. His grandmother had been a feisty, fun-loving lady. She was immortal, or so Gerard wanted to believe. But there he was in the Milwaukee airport, while his mother had sobbed over the phone. He remembered choking on his words as he attempted to reply. The phone ended up crashing onto the floor, only to be picked up by Mikey. Both brothers despised that day, and the Milwaukee airport as well.

Gerard recollected all the memories he could possibly think of. A few tears had slipped down his cheek, over the hours. It was so hard to let go of her. She was his inspiration, his mentor. He needed her. But now the only way he could see her was to kill himself. He would do it too, if it weren’t for the fact that he still had the rest of his family to worry about. How could Helena disappear on him like this? He quickly stopped his train of thought. He was beginning to blame her for dying. He was enraged with himself. How could he ever even think that it was Helena’s fault that the worst had happened?

What was the point of gathering all these memories if they were all going to be used as something to cry over? He had to get the essential message his beautiful Italian grandmother was trying to feed to him. She told him to never give up, no matter what. And what was he doing now? Giving up, saying that he simply couldn’t go on without her, when he knew it was possible with enough effort. Gerard slapped his forehead with a cold hand. He was just using Helena as an excuse.

He hopped off his bed and made his way to his desk in the far corner of his room. There was something he needed to do, somewhere he needed to be. He snatched his notebook and pen from the tabletop and spun around. He ran quickly out of his room and down the stairs. Even though it was pouring like mad, he sprinted out to the cemetery, which was awfully close to his house. The wind around him was howling louder than any wolf ever could. Gerard walked, alone among the tombstones. At last, he found the one he was looking for, the one engraved “Elena Lee Rush”. He took a seat next to his grandmother’s grave. He started scribbling words into his notebook furiously. Raindrops were beating down on his head and on the pages. The ink was smearing, but he’d remember this. Thunder cracked loudly and lightning flashed. Gerard was finally finished.

He knew what Helena would expect from him next. She would want him to sing to her, like he always did when he got a new song. He cleared his throat and began. The tune was not perfect, and his voice was not exactly smooth sounding. But he knew Helena would have smiled anyway. She always did.

Long ago, just like the hearse you die to get in again.
We are so far from you.
Burning on, just like the match you strike to incinerate.
The lives of everyone you know.
And what’s the worst you take
From every heart you break?
And like the blade you stain.
Well I’ve been holding on tonight.

What's the worst that I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take
From every heart you break?
And like the blade you stain
Well I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst that I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
Well if we carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight.

The heavy bullets of rain had now subsided to a light drizzle. The sun peered out slightly from behind a dark thunder cloud. Gerard slowly got onto his knees on the wet grass and crawled over to get closer to the grave. He pressed his cheek against the cold stone.

“So long, Helena...” he whispered, “So long and goodnight.”

In Memory of Elena Lee Rush
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