FicWad

I tried to smile like nothing was wrong. “Nothing, I’ll tell you later.” I sipped on my water.

Jepha just starred me out of it. “No tell me now. We were together-” I slipped my hand under the table quickly pinching his thigh hard. “Ow, fuck what was that for?”

“Sorry could you excuse us for a few minutes?” I asked the three bewildered teens.

“Yeah we’ve got to get coffee.”
“Eh sure no problem.”
“Yeah we’re going.” They all replied at the same time.

“Why are you bringing this up now? In front of fans? You do know people basically stalk My Chem and will do anything to get info on people they know?” I whispered to him the second we were alone.

“I knew you were pregnant with Nathan but I didn’t know you were the far gone.” He paused for a split second and lost his chance to finish what he was saying.

“How’d you know I called him Nathan?” I asked bewildered, I mean I everyone on tour knew I was pregnant but they only thought I was five months when the accident happened.

“I was at the hospital for five days with you and the guys.” He said back. “Look that’s besides the point, am I his dad?”

I looked to Bella. Tears formed in my eyes just thinking about that day and who his dad was. I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn’t quite get it out. If I told him it was Gerard he would think I cheated on him and if I told him Bert raped me that would be their career and friendship finished. “No.” I eventually.

“Can we please talk about this later?” I looked into his eyes, they looked full of doubt and hurt. I nodded. “Okay thanks.”

We plastered fake smiles across our faces when the three kids walked back over.

Later that day we were back on the bus, I was afraid of the conversation Jepha wanted to have with me. So I kept myself occupied with either Bella or work.

Bob was standing in the middle of all the buses with his phone pressed to his ear. I walked up behind him and hugged him tight. “Whoa. Hey, you alright?” he hung up the phone and I nodded. “You sure?”

“Yup.” I replied as I moved around towards his front. “I just NJ was alive.” I whispered into his chest. I hadn’t felt this safe with a guy in years.

“I know you do, we all do.” He rubbed my back gentaly as he spoke. He was one of the three people who I told personally that I was eight and half months gone when I crashed. The other two were Gerard and Worm. “Having Bella around has made it hit harder huh?”

I nodded and started crying. “If I only I hadn’t have lied he would still be alive today.”

“Hey your not gonna make me go through this again are you?”

I smiled through my tears. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Do you want a cig before we go back to the bus?” I sighed I didn’t really want to go back but Bella would be getting tired soon.

“Do I not get to finish my hug first?” I smiled.

“Yes you may.” He chuckled. We stood there for a couple of seconds and his phone went off. “Hello...yeah…she’s here with me, why?…oh right…yeah we’ll be there in a couple… fuck off…bye.” He hung up. “The guys can’t get Bella to stop crying so I guess you’re needed.”

“She’s probably wrecked.” I pulled away and started walking in the direction of the band’s bus. As we walked back to the bus Bob threw his arm around my shoulder.

“Cheer up, you have us wonderful people to keep you company.” He smiled.

I was gonna say something back but I heard Bella’s screams and saw the guys standing around smoking. I walked onto the bus to see Jamia and Alicia trying to distract Bella from crying.

“Sorry we wouldn’t have called you. We just couldn’t get her to stop.” Ali spoke.

“It’s okay. I was only gone for a smoke anyway.” I lied and picked up Bella. “What’s wrong sweet heart? Are you not feeling well?” I checked her temperature it was okay but her cheeks were a bit red. “I think she might be teething.”

“Do you want me to run out and get something for it?” Mia asked , I nodded as a reply. “The screams on her. Clare was never that bad.”

I smiled. “I know.” Both of them went off the bus.

I set Bella down so I could set up her travel cot. I was so stressed I just didn’t want to be like this anymore. It was fucking sucky. I didn’t even notice Jepha standing there until he spoke.

“Can we talk now or do you wanna wait until Bella is calmed down?” he asked.

“No let talk about it now, since you wanna talk about it all fucking day.” I said, I didn’t know why but I started to tremble but not from what I was about to say. “Halloween night sometime between when Bob told me to sit and going back to the bus, I was raped. I don’t know by who but all I know is he’s Nathan’s dad.”

“You should have told me or the guys or someone. You could get DNA tests done-”

“What and dig up my son? Thanks your so fucking thoughtful.” I screamed and kicked the cot before breaking down.

He walked over and attempted to hug me. “I’m sorry I truly am.”

I pushed him off, storming off to the back lounge taking Bella with me. I sat down holding Bella in my arms, tears streaming from both our faces. “Why does everyone I love die when they’ve so much ahead of them?” I asked her. I rocked us back and froth trying to comfort my heart and Bella’s pain.

{{Sorry I’m getting a bit emotional; it just has to be like this! Comments loved! Love ya’ll }}