Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I Only Think In The Form Of Crunching Numbers___x
Chapter 15: Turn This Up I’ll Tune You Out
3 reviews‘So, I don’t work here?’ I question, head cocked to the side He nodded. I jump up to my feet and grab hold of the chair I was sitting on. Dragging it towards the door I salute him on my wa...
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Patrick wasn’t home when I got back. In fact, Patrick didn’t come home at all that night. I would’ve been more worried if I wasn’t so relieved. Now I wouldn’t have 20q over what didn’t happen this morning. I wouldn’t have to question myself about what I didn’t do this morning. We wouldn’t ever have to mention what never happened ever again. Besides, I was too tired anyway. Lately I’ve gone from insomniac to lazy bastard almost over night. Strangely, tonight, I couldn’t sleep. I put it down to not having the pills but I’m pretty sure other things contributed to it. Maybe I was worried for Patrick. I didn’t know where he was. But he’s a grown man, sort of; he should be able to look after himself.
When eight a.m came around again with no sight of my friend and my headache made a reappearance I decided maybe it was time to get up at go in search of more Atavan. Taking three, cause I’m bad ass, I down them easily with my coffee. My headache fazing into beautiful numbness, I sigh. I really wasn’t looking forward to work today; pretty sure that today was going to be my last there. So, I decide to arrive early and cause as much havoc as possible.
I walk into my office at ten on the dot. I sit politely down in my chair with my arms crossed and my feet down parallel to each other. I straighten my tie and dust off some imaginary fluff from my shoulders. Clicking my fingers, I stretch them out in front of me and log on to the computer. Lifting the receiver of the phone on my desk I call the number for Frank’s booth.
‘Frank?’ I say as he answers
‘Yes, Mr. Wentz’ He answers, the sound of clacking indicating that he too was on the computer.
‘It’s time.’ I reply simply, and he hangs up, knowing what to do.
The second I replace the receiver the phone it begins to ring. I answer.
‘Hello’ I sigh, aware of whom it was
‘Hello Peter’ Mr. Scott retorts, ‘Come to my office please’
He hangs up. Not saying another word. I hit the receiver against the computer monitor.
‘It’s Pete!’ I bellow, instantly followed by a crashing noise next door.
Getting up from my chair I leave my office and look into the room next door to find Frank on the floor lying on top of his seat which was also on the floor.
‘Jesus, Pete’, He groaned, rubbing his head, ‘Warn a brother’
I shake my head and walk over to the secretary desk where the secretary herself seemed to be glowing and her clothes showing a small bump at the base of her stomach. My eyes grow wide and dart to Frank’s direction. He simply shrugs.
‘Baby?’ I ask
She nodded. My jaw drops. Frank laughs, as he would.
‘How far gone?’ I whisper loudly at Frank
He holds up four fingers.
‘You liar!’ I squeak, ‘I asked you if she was and you said no!’
‘Welcome to the real world ugly’ He tapped me on the ass and pushed me in the direction of Mr. Scott’s office.
I would have punched him right there but when he mouthed the words ‘good luck’ I’d forgiven him. The door to his office was heavy, wooden and expensive so when I slammed it on the way in I don’t think he was very pleased.
‘Peter take a seat’ He said, I obliged, throwing myself down and sitting with my feet on his desk, ‘Feet down please’
‘Nope’ I answer smiling
‘Fine,’ He sighed, ‘Peter it has come to our attention that you have been on anti-depressants for the passed two years though you did not make the company aware of this. By doing this you have in fact lied in your CV and therefore have voided your contract.’
‘So, I don’t work here?’ I question, head cocked to the side
He nodded. I jump up to my feet and grab hold of the chair I was sitting on. Dragging it towards the door I salute him on my way out.
‘Wait!’ He called after me, ‘What are you doing with that chair?’
I shrug.
‘You said take a seat’ I grin, pulling towards my office
Taylor and Frank stand behind the desk at the front staring at me like I’m crazy. I reach the front of my office and throw the chair in, right on top of the computer. A few sparks fly from it and in its dying moments it shrieks loudly. Mr. Scott runs up behind me, yelling as he always does.
‘That cost $250!’ He shouted, right in my ear.
I shake my head. Pulling my checkbook out I write him a check for $500 and place it in the front pocket of his jacket. I then go into Frank’s office space.
‘Pete.. Now, Pete..’ Frank warns me, but I don’t listen
Grabbing a hold of his computer monitor I carry it out right in front of Mr. Scott. I was within two feet of him and I dropped the monitor at his feet. He jumped so high in the air, like I’d just shot at his feet.
‘Motherfucker!’ A cry comes from somewhere, snapping my head in that direction.
That moment I witness one of the strangest things I believe I have ever and will ever see. Scuttling across the office floor, looking dazed and confused, was a small, fluffy light brown hamster. Not far behind came more cries. The word ‘shit’ repeated over and over to be precise.
‘Ray, you asshole!’ The voice shouted.
As the hamster sat squeaking and nibbling on some bit of food it had carried with him Gerard had popped out of nowhere, looking distressed.
‘Lucifer!’ Gerard yelled in all seriousness, ‘Come back here you naughty hamster’
Needless to say, we all stood looking a little bit more than stunned at Gerard who was trying to hide his pet inside his shirt. He was giggling insanely as the little brown ball of hair scrambled around his body. Turning on his heel he returned to his cubicle.
Mr. Scott’s face was a shade of purple that definitely could not be healthy. It was at this point, I actually thought that nothing could make this moment worse. Then I was proved wrong.
‘I’m pregnant’ Taylor said, as if she had just announced that she was wearing red today, she then pointed to Frank, ‘It’s his’
I swear, Mr. Scott’s head spun a 360. I felt half proud that everything was falling apart already and I’d only been fired for about ten minutes. On my dramatic exit, let’s just say I was not the only one leaving that afternoon never to return. There was Gerard and Lucifer who were all too happy to leave, especially Lucifer who had apparently been hiding in his office sorting cabinet since September. Ray had also been let go for, well, there in lies the reason why both him and Gerard left with black eyes. Frank and Taylor had both been forced to leave too. Mr. Scott claims they were incompetent workers but it was fairly obvious that was an excuse. And for some unknown reason Bob from accounting had also walked out. That confused me too.
So, now I’m stood at the bottom of the building, watching the rain pour. Pathetic fallacy or what? Running out of shits to give, I smile. Taking two steps forward, I stand at the edge of the sidewalk and stare at my reflection. Imperfect and incomplete. I grin. Stomping down hard on top of the blurry image of myself the water scatters everywhere, soaking my suit completely. I was unemployed. I was free.
When eight a.m came around again with no sight of my friend and my headache made a reappearance I decided maybe it was time to get up at go in search of more Atavan. Taking three, cause I’m bad ass, I down them easily with my coffee. My headache fazing into beautiful numbness, I sigh. I really wasn’t looking forward to work today; pretty sure that today was going to be my last there. So, I decide to arrive early and cause as much havoc as possible.
I walk into my office at ten on the dot. I sit politely down in my chair with my arms crossed and my feet down parallel to each other. I straighten my tie and dust off some imaginary fluff from my shoulders. Clicking my fingers, I stretch them out in front of me and log on to the computer. Lifting the receiver of the phone on my desk I call the number for Frank’s booth.
‘Frank?’ I say as he answers
‘Yes, Mr. Wentz’ He answers, the sound of clacking indicating that he too was on the computer.
‘It’s time.’ I reply simply, and he hangs up, knowing what to do.
The second I replace the receiver the phone it begins to ring. I answer.
‘Hello’ I sigh, aware of whom it was
‘Hello Peter’ Mr. Scott retorts, ‘Come to my office please’
He hangs up. Not saying another word. I hit the receiver against the computer monitor.
‘It’s Pete!’ I bellow, instantly followed by a crashing noise next door.
Getting up from my chair I leave my office and look into the room next door to find Frank on the floor lying on top of his seat which was also on the floor.
‘Jesus, Pete’, He groaned, rubbing his head, ‘Warn a brother’
I shake my head and walk over to the secretary desk where the secretary herself seemed to be glowing and her clothes showing a small bump at the base of her stomach. My eyes grow wide and dart to Frank’s direction. He simply shrugs.
‘Baby?’ I ask
She nodded. My jaw drops. Frank laughs, as he would.
‘How far gone?’ I whisper loudly at Frank
He holds up four fingers.
‘You liar!’ I squeak, ‘I asked you if she was and you said no!’
‘Welcome to the real world ugly’ He tapped me on the ass and pushed me in the direction of Mr. Scott’s office.
I would have punched him right there but when he mouthed the words ‘good luck’ I’d forgiven him. The door to his office was heavy, wooden and expensive so when I slammed it on the way in I don’t think he was very pleased.
‘Peter take a seat’ He said, I obliged, throwing myself down and sitting with my feet on his desk, ‘Feet down please’
‘Nope’ I answer smiling
‘Fine,’ He sighed, ‘Peter it has come to our attention that you have been on anti-depressants for the passed two years though you did not make the company aware of this. By doing this you have in fact lied in your CV and therefore have voided your contract.’
‘So, I don’t work here?’ I question, head cocked to the side
He nodded. I jump up to my feet and grab hold of the chair I was sitting on. Dragging it towards the door I salute him on my way out.
‘Wait!’ He called after me, ‘What are you doing with that chair?’
I shrug.
‘You said take a seat’ I grin, pulling towards my office
Taylor and Frank stand behind the desk at the front staring at me like I’m crazy. I reach the front of my office and throw the chair in, right on top of the computer. A few sparks fly from it and in its dying moments it shrieks loudly. Mr. Scott runs up behind me, yelling as he always does.
‘That cost $250!’ He shouted, right in my ear.
I shake my head. Pulling my checkbook out I write him a check for $500 and place it in the front pocket of his jacket. I then go into Frank’s office space.
‘Pete.. Now, Pete..’ Frank warns me, but I don’t listen
Grabbing a hold of his computer monitor I carry it out right in front of Mr. Scott. I was within two feet of him and I dropped the monitor at his feet. He jumped so high in the air, like I’d just shot at his feet.
‘Motherfucker!’ A cry comes from somewhere, snapping my head in that direction.
That moment I witness one of the strangest things I believe I have ever and will ever see. Scuttling across the office floor, looking dazed and confused, was a small, fluffy light brown hamster. Not far behind came more cries. The word ‘shit’ repeated over and over to be precise.
‘Ray, you asshole!’ The voice shouted.
As the hamster sat squeaking and nibbling on some bit of food it had carried with him Gerard had popped out of nowhere, looking distressed.
‘Lucifer!’ Gerard yelled in all seriousness, ‘Come back here you naughty hamster’
Needless to say, we all stood looking a little bit more than stunned at Gerard who was trying to hide his pet inside his shirt. He was giggling insanely as the little brown ball of hair scrambled around his body. Turning on his heel he returned to his cubicle.
Mr. Scott’s face was a shade of purple that definitely could not be healthy. It was at this point, I actually thought that nothing could make this moment worse. Then I was proved wrong.
‘I’m pregnant’ Taylor said, as if she had just announced that she was wearing red today, she then pointed to Frank, ‘It’s his’
I swear, Mr. Scott’s head spun a 360. I felt half proud that everything was falling apart already and I’d only been fired for about ten minutes. On my dramatic exit, let’s just say I was not the only one leaving that afternoon never to return. There was Gerard and Lucifer who were all too happy to leave, especially Lucifer who had apparently been hiding in his office sorting cabinet since September. Ray had also been let go for, well, there in lies the reason why both him and Gerard left with black eyes. Frank and Taylor had both been forced to leave too. Mr. Scott claims they were incompetent workers but it was fairly obvious that was an excuse. And for some unknown reason Bob from accounting had also walked out. That confused me too.
So, now I’m stood at the bottom of the building, watching the rain pour. Pathetic fallacy or what? Running out of shits to give, I smile. Taking two steps forward, I stand at the edge of the sidewalk and stare at my reflection. Imperfect and incomplete. I grin. Stomping down hard on top of the blurry image of myself the water scatters everywhere, soaking my suit completely. I was unemployed. I was free.
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