FicWad

Title: Deleted Scenes from The Fellowship of the Ring
Author: Cerasi J.
Co-Author: Dark
Rating: PG-13 (Just to be safe)
Summary: This is what the producers DIDN'T want you to see!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, (But I would kinda like to own Frodo O_O), everything belongs to Mr. Tolkein.

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"Uh oh, this can't be good." -My brother, upon watching me type this.
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Scene Number One:

[Frodo is standing on the small knoll in the Shire, he suddenly throws himself at Gandalf to hug him, Gandalf leans back and Frodo goes flying over the cart.]

Frodo: "WHOOOOOAAAAA!!!"

[A loud crash is heard as he flies into some camera equipment.]

Scene Number Two:

[After Gandalf plummets from the Bridge of Khazad-dum, Frodo peeks over the end of the bridge, teary eyed. Aragorn/Strider appears behind Frodo and looks down into the abyss.]

Aragorn: "Damn! He ain't gonna be in /Lord of the Rings II/!"

Scene Number Three:

[Towards the end of the movie, Frodo decides to go to Mordor alone. Sam wades out in the water and is pulled under. Frodo grabs his hand and hauls him to the surface.]

Frodo: "I'll never let go, Jack, I'll never let go!"

Scene Number Four:

[After giving Frodo the mythril armor and seeing the ring on his neck, Bilbo snarls, bears vampire fangs, latches onto Frodo's neck and sucks his blood.]

Scene Number Five:

[In the city of Rivendell, we see the bridge were we caught Strider and Arwen smoochin,' the two lovers have been replaced by a portable boom box which is blaring Britney Spears, bags of microwave popcorn, curling irons, fuzzy bunny slippers, and uncountable bottles of nail polish. Galadreil and Arwen are facing each other on the bridge, giggling.]

Galadreil: "Oh my God, Strider is sooooo hot!! I mean, he's totally da bomb!"

Arwen: [Blows a bubble with the gum she is chewing and giggles.]

Scene Number Six:

Boromir: "WHO ELSE LOVES SHOWTUNES???"

Scene Number Seven:

[Aragorn comes around a bush where Boromir is... ahem, doing business. Aragorn squints, then bursts out laughing.]

Boromir: "Hey!!! WHAT ARE YOU BLOODY LAUGHING AT???" [Zips up his pants]

Audience: "Huh? What are we looking at...? Oh, we get it..."

Scene Number Eight:

[Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli send Boromir's dead body toward the waterfall. Boromir sits up in the boat.]

Boromir: "C'MON!!! WHO ELSE LOVES SHOWTUNES?????"

Scene Number Nine:

[Boromir gets shot with the first arrow]

Boromir: "Oh..."

Aragorn: "No! Brave, brave Boromir! You shall not have died in vain!"

Boromir: "I'm not quite dead, sir..."

Aragorn: "Oh... Brave Boromir, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!"

Boromir: "I think I might pull through, sir!"

Aragorn: "No you won't, you'll be stone dead in a moment."

Boromir: "I think I'll go for a walk!"

[Aragorn gets up and motions for the Orcs to shoot him again.]

Boromir: "I feel happy! I feel-... ARGGGHHHHHHH!!!!"

Scene Number Ten:

Bill the Pony: "BONG!!!!!!"

Pippin: [Snickers]

Merry: "Man, we are so f**ked up..."

Sam: "Hehe... Sesame Street is brought to you today... by um... the letters..."

Bill the Pony: "BONG!!!!!"

Frodo: "Dude... what kinda mushrooms were those /ANYWAY/???"

Scene Number Eleven:

[Legolas spears some Orcs and proudly proclaims...]

Legolas: "CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'????"

Scene Number Twelve:

[As Boromir's body is plummeting over the waterfall...]

Boromir: "C'MON!!! SOMEBODY HERE HAS TO BLOODY LOVE SHOWTUNES!!!!"

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