Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'll scream your name until my lungs bleed
The whole way home was silent. I pulled into my driveway and we both went in and just went to bed, dreading the morning. But I couldn’t help but notice that the kiss was not being brought up and that maybe it didn’t mean anything to her.
‘Ugh, I need to get some sleep’ I thought so I went up to my room and laid there for what seemed like hours before I finally drifted off.
Katie’s POV
We finally got home at around 1 in the morning and both went up and went to our rooms without saying anything. I changed into my pjs and laid in bed starring up at the ceiling. The last time I looked at the clock it read 4:51am. During the hours of laying in bed, I convinced myself to forget about the kiss and assumed he did it because I was sad. I could not get hurt by him. I would not let that happen.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
My alarm went off a little too early if you ask me. Maybe because I finally fell asleep at 5am. Seconds after I woke up, my heart dropped. The boys are leaving today. I looked over at my clock which read 9:00. I had to drop Pete off at the buses today at 11. I got out of bed and walked downstairs and into the kitchen where Pete was finishing off a bowl of cereal.
“Morning.” I said as I got the orange juice out of the fridge and poured myself a glass.
“Morning. You don’t look like you got a lot of sleep.” He said getting up and putting his bowl in the sink.
“About 4 hours. I fell asleep at 5, couldn’t sleep.” I took a drink of orange juice. It felt so good against my throat. He didn’t say anything.
“What time do we have to leave today?” I asked setting my glass in the sink.
“Probably 10:30 or so.” He replied leaning against the counter.
“Ok I’m gonna go shower then.” I said starting to walk off but he stopped me.
“Katie, I’m sorry about last night, I don’t know what I was…”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” I said not letting him finish. The last thing I needed at this point was excuses. I went up the stairs to the bathroom and shut the door.
I got undressed and stepped into the shower. I let the warm water pound my skin as my mind was flooded with thoughts. Thoughts about what would happen to me and Pete, if we would stay close during these next few months. Thoughts about the kiss last night, reliving the moment it happened. I was so confused and sad. I stood there in the shower and just cried. Harder than I have cried in the past few months. I didn’t know why I was crying. If it was because Pete felt as though to justify last night or because he was leaving for so long. I cried until I had no more tears to cry. I stepped out of the shower, wrapped the towel around me, went to my room and shut the door. I turned on my music and let the lyrics flood my room as I got ready. I felt no need in getting nice to drop Pete off so I put on a pair of ripped jeans, one of Pete’s hoodies, threw my hair up in a messy bun and just put mascara on. I slipped on a pair of my flip flops and headed back down the stairs. I sat down on the couch waiting for Pete to get out of the shower and get ready. As I was sitting there, I kept on telling myself that everything was going to be fine and that I had to act like everything was ok around Pete. A little less than 20 minutes later, he walked down the stairs with his final suitcase.
‘Act normal. Act normal.’ I kept telling myself. I took a deep breath.
He reached the bottom of the staircase and looked up at me. I looked at him and smiled.
“You ready?” I said as I stood up and walked towards him.
“As I’ll ever be.”
“Then shall we?” I asked him and he just nodded. We walked down to the car and left. During our ride there, I tried making conversation with him.
“So you excited?” I asked him.
“Ya, I love touring more than anything but I’m gonna miss home.” He said starring out of the car window.
“You’ll have a great time but home will miss you too.” I reached over and squeezed his leg. He looked over at me and smiled.
“We’ll be ok right? You’ll still be there when I get back.” He looked so sad.
“With open arms.” His smile was so small when I said that. He just seemed depressed.
A few minutes later, we pulled up to the parking lot with all of the tour buses and people were everywhere. I parked and we both got out and I opened the trunk so he could get his bags out. I looked up and saw the guys walking over to us.
“Guys, ugh this sucks. I’m gonna miss you guys sooooo much!” I said looking at each one of them. I walked up to Andy first.
“You promise that each night you’ll play one song for me? Harder than you play any other song?” I whispered in his ear while hugging him.
“I promise.” He said pulling away after a few moments. Next was Joe.
“Joseph…I’m gonna miss you…who am I gonna stay up with until 3 am playing video games with?” I said as he laughed.
“You know that’s the first thing we do when we get back.” Oh god, next is Patrick. I look at him and immediately start tearing up.
“How do you do this to me Patrick? You aren’t supposed to do this!” I said hugging him tight.
“Katie, I’m gonna miss you.” He said hugging me back.
“Promise you’ll find a way to talk to me each day?” I asked looking at him.
“You know it.”
I stepped back from Patrick and looked over at Pete. He was just standing there looking down with his hands in his pockets. I walked up to him and lifted his chin with my finger.
“Pete, we’ll be fine.” I said. He pulled me into the tightest hug imaginable.
“Katie, I wish I could say what my heart is telling me to say but I can’t find the words.”
“Promise not to forget me? Promise that we’ll be the same when you get back?”
“I could never forget you, you mean too much to me. Can I call you every time I get a chance?” He asked.
“You better or else I’ll come to whatever city you’re in and find you and it won’t be pretty. I’ll miss you more than you know Petey.”
“Pete, we gotta get going.” Rick, their manager came over and said. Pete just nodded.
“Well this is good-bye” He said when I furrowed my eyebrows.
“Not good-bye. Just see you later.” I said as I kissed his cheek and he was off. I watched them drive away and all I could think was, ‘there they go, hopefully not forever.’ After I couldn’t see their bus anymore, I got into my car and headed back home. It really hadn’t set in yet that I wouldn’t see them for months. I pulled up into Pete’s driveway and unlocked the door and walked in and immediately was reminded of Pete. His things were everywhere and all I could smell was his cologne. I got depressed and just went up to my room, put on one of the guys cd’s and went back to bed. Before I fell asleep, I had gotten a text message from Pete saying he already misses me…I hate it when he’s gone.
‘Ugh, I need to get some sleep’ I thought so I went up to my room and laid there for what seemed like hours before I finally drifted off.
Katie’s POV
We finally got home at around 1 in the morning and both went up and went to our rooms without saying anything. I changed into my pjs and laid in bed starring up at the ceiling. The last time I looked at the clock it read 4:51am. During the hours of laying in bed, I convinced myself to forget about the kiss and assumed he did it because I was sad. I could not get hurt by him. I would not let that happen.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
My alarm went off a little too early if you ask me. Maybe because I finally fell asleep at 5am. Seconds after I woke up, my heart dropped. The boys are leaving today. I looked over at my clock which read 9:00. I had to drop Pete off at the buses today at 11. I got out of bed and walked downstairs and into the kitchen where Pete was finishing off a bowl of cereal.
“Morning.” I said as I got the orange juice out of the fridge and poured myself a glass.
“Morning. You don’t look like you got a lot of sleep.” He said getting up and putting his bowl in the sink.
“About 4 hours. I fell asleep at 5, couldn’t sleep.” I took a drink of orange juice. It felt so good against my throat. He didn’t say anything.
“What time do we have to leave today?” I asked setting my glass in the sink.
“Probably 10:30 or so.” He replied leaning against the counter.
“Ok I’m gonna go shower then.” I said starting to walk off but he stopped me.
“Katie, I’m sorry about last night, I don’t know what I was…”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” I said not letting him finish. The last thing I needed at this point was excuses. I went up the stairs to the bathroom and shut the door.
I got undressed and stepped into the shower. I let the warm water pound my skin as my mind was flooded with thoughts. Thoughts about what would happen to me and Pete, if we would stay close during these next few months. Thoughts about the kiss last night, reliving the moment it happened. I was so confused and sad. I stood there in the shower and just cried. Harder than I have cried in the past few months. I didn’t know why I was crying. If it was because Pete felt as though to justify last night or because he was leaving for so long. I cried until I had no more tears to cry. I stepped out of the shower, wrapped the towel around me, went to my room and shut the door. I turned on my music and let the lyrics flood my room as I got ready. I felt no need in getting nice to drop Pete off so I put on a pair of ripped jeans, one of Pete’s hoodies, threw my hair up in a messy bun and just put mascara on. I slipped on a pair of my flip flops and headed back down the stairs. I sat down on the couch waiting for Pete to get out of the shower and get ready. As I was sitting there, I kept on telling myself that everything was going to be fine and that I had to act like everything was ok around Pete. A little less than 20 minutes later, he walked down the stairs with his final suitcase.
‘Act normal. Act normal.’ I kept telling myself. I took a deep breath.
He reached the bottom of the staircase and looked up at me. I looked at him and smiled.
“You ready?” I said as I stood up and walked towards him.
“As I’ll ever be.”
“Then shall we?” I asked him and he just nodded. We walked down to the car and left. During our ride there, I tried making conversation with him.
“So you excited?” I asked him.
“Ya, I love touring more than anything but I’m gonna miss home.” He said starring out of the car window.
“You’ll have a great time but home will miss you too.” I reached over and squeezed his leg. He looked over at me and smiled.
“We’ll be ok right? You’ll still be there when I get back.” He looked so sad.
“With open arms.” His smile was so small when I said that. He just seemed depressed.
A few minutes later, we pulled up to the parking lot with all of the tour buses and people were everywhere. I parked and we both got out and I opened the trunk so he could get his bags out. I looked up and saw the guys walking over to us.
“Guys, ugh this sucks. I’m gonna miss you guys sooooo much!” I said looking at each one of them. I walked up to Andy first.
“You promise that each night you’ll play one song for me? Harder than you play any other song?” I whispered in his ear while hugging him.
“I promise.” He said pulling away after a few moments. Next was Joe.
“Joseph…I’m gonna miss you…who am I gonna stay up with until 3 am playing video games with?” I said as he laughed.
“You know that’s the first thing we do when we get back.” Oh god, next is Patrick. I look at him and immediately start tearing up.
“How do you do this to me Patrick? You aren’t supposed to do this!” I said hugging him tight.
“Katie, I’m gonna miss you.” He said hugging me back.
“Promise you’ll find a way to talk to me each day?” I asked looking at him.
“You know it.”
I stepped back from Patrick and looked over at Pete. He was just standing there looking down with his hands in his pockets. I walked up to him and lifted his chin with my finger.
“Pete, we’ll be fine.” I said. He pulled me into the tightest hug imaginable.
“Katie, I wish I could say what my heart is telling me to say but I can’t find the words.”
“Promise not to forget me? Promise that we’ll be the same when you get back?”
“I could never forget you, you mean too much to me. Can I call you every time I get a chance?” He asked.
“You better or else I’ll come to whatever city you’re in and find you and it won’t be pretty. I’ll miss you more than you know Petey.”
“Pete, we gotta get going.” Rick, their manager came over and said. Pete just nodded.
“Well this is good-bye” He said when I furrowed my eyebrows.
“Not good-bye. Just see you later.” I said as I kissed his cheek and he was off. I watched them drive away and all I could think was, ‘there they go, hopefully not forever.’ After I couldn’t see their bus anymore, I got into my car and headed back home. It really hadn’t set in yet that I wouldn’t see them for months. I pulled up into Pete’s driveway and unlocked the door and walked in and immediately was reminded of Pete. His things were everywhere and all I could smell was his cologne. I got depressed and just went up to my room, put on one of the guys cd’s and went back to bed. Before I fell asleep, I had gotten a text message from Pete saying he already misses me…I hate it when he’s gone.
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