Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Hate The Ending Myself, But It Started With An Alright Scene
Capitolo 20
6 reviewslast chapter please dont ahem (eat me, throw sharp objects at me, or shoot me)
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Authors P.O.V.
It was two days before Kyler's birthday, nothing important had happened in the two weeks that had rapidly passed except the talk between Gerard and his mom. He was glad that they had sorted things out but was annoyed at Gerard for not telling him first. Mikey hadn't been able to change the tour date, this upset everyone but mainly Kyler and Gerard. They hadn't talked about what was going to happen when Gerard left and neither of them really wanted to.
It had just turned midnight, Kyler lay awake in his bed staring at the ceiling and let out a long sigh. He turned on his side and stared out of his window, the glow of the moon illuminating his room and the whistle of the wind outside barely audible but soothing. He didn't wantGerard to go and especially not on his birthday. One day left. Gerard thought as he quickly glanced at the clock next to his bed, the numbers glowing red and he could feel his eye lids getting heavier. A few minutes later he drifted into a peaceful sleep with one person on his mind - Gerard.
---
Gerard let himself into Kyler's house quietly, softly closing the door behind him as he knew Kyler would still be asleep seeing as it was a Sunday. He knew where the spare key was from Eliza and used it constantly. It was practically his second home. He searched the house for Eliza only to find a note on the kitchen counter.
Kyler,
I had to go into work today as they needed help. I won't be back till about 5 or 6.
You'll have to get your own dinner, it's hard work I know. I left some money in the usual place, don't buy junk. I'll know if you do, I have people to spy on you and cameras everywhere.
Mom x
Gerard laughed at the note and set it back down onto the counter. Turning around and making his way upstairs to Kyler's room. He peaked his head into the room to find Kyler sprawled out on the bed, his hair messed up with nothing but boxers on. He would be lying if he didn't find this extremely hot. He licked his lips and quietly walked into the room, carefully setting himself down on the bed so he wouldn't wake Kyler up. Kyler chest was rising and falling slowly, his breathing shallow. Gerard laughed quietly as Kyler released a grunt as he moved his fringe from his face.
"Mmm Mom it's Sunday, let me sleep woman!" Kyler groaned and grabbed his pillow, smothering himself with it. He obviously didn't realize it was Gerard in the room and not Eliza.
"Woman? Who the hell are you calling woman? If I was your mom I would let you sleep. But I'm not so... Wake up!" Gerard shouted and Kyler started to laugh from underneath the pillow. Gerard smiled and snatched the pillow from his face.
"Fine! God dammit, this better be good if you're waking me up on a Sunday. If I'm grumpy and moody, it's your fault." Kyler complained, sitting up and flattening his hair with his palms. Gerard laughed and brought the pillow to his chest, sitting Indian style on the bed.
"Yeah it's my fault blah blah . Am I actually bothered?" Gerard asked, pointing at himself and Kyler raised his eyebrow. "I think not. Now what shall I do to you today?"
Gerard pretended to think about his answer but before he could Kyler practically jumped on him, his mouth hovering over Gerard's as he looked into his hazel eyes. His pearly white teeth showing as he smiled up at Kyler. Kyler licked his lips and leant down slowly, both enduring in a slow closed mouth kiss. Gerard's hand wondered up Kyler's hips, lightly raking his nails up and down the smooth skin. Kyler shivered at his touch, kissing Gerard harder and snaking his tongue into his warm mouth. Tongues massaging each others whilst Gerard played with the top of Kyler's boxers, lightly tugging at them. Kyler pulled away from the kiss looking down at Gerard, his heart thumping in his chest with nerves. He didn't know why he was nervous, they had done stuff before but he always seemed to be nervous when they did. He guessed he was scared if it went further, he did want it to but he was scared he would be a disappointment or Gerard would stop them.
"Kyler I was thinking..." Gerard began and Kyler felt the nervousness building up. "Maybe I could give you your birthday present a day early."
Gerard bit his lip nervously, resting his hands on Kyler's hips and awaited a response. Kyler sat up, he was straddling the man beneath him and he didn't know what to say. He wanted to yell yes and attack the man waiting beneath him but he was... scared. Kyler opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was his shaky breath.
"I won't make you do anything. If you're not ready I - "
"I want to." Kyler blurted out and smiled nervously. Gerard leant up on his elbows and stared at Kyler.
"Are you sure?" Gerard asked, Kyler just nodded and joined their lips again. The kiss growing deeper and deeper until it was passionate and full of lust. Gerard's hands came up into Kyler's hair, tangling his fingers in his hair and tugging lightly. Kyler let out a moan into Gerard's mouth and pushed him back down onto the bed.
"You're so perfect." Gerard whispered breathlessly and Kyler giggled.
"So are you. Don't ever leave me. Promise me you won't." Kyler begged. Gerard struggled to reply but he had too.
"I promise." Gerard whispered and smiled up at Kyler. He leant up, wrapping his arms round his hips and quickly switched their position so he was now on top of Kyler. Gerard quickly pulled off his shirt then leant back down, continuing to kiss Kyler whilst his hands moved down his torso and snaked into his boxers, curling his fingers round Kyler's erection. Kyler gasped and let out a low growl as Gerard started to stroke his erection.
Gerard kissed Kyler's neck, lightly sucking at the flesh as he heard the delightful moans Kyler was making. He could feel his own erection trapped inside his jeans, he stopped his hand movements and released Kyler's neck who whimpered. His eyes opened, he watched as Gerard started to work on his belt, undoing it and the zipper on his jeans. Gerard got off Kyler, standing up next to the bed and he quickly slid his jeans down his hips, legs then quickly stepped out of them. Both were now in their boxers and extremely hard.
Gerard looked around the floor, searching for something then realized where it was.
"Ok, wait here. I just have to go and get something, ok?" Before Kyler could answer, Gerard was out the door and he could hear him running down the stairs. Kyler leant back in the bed, his heart was beating so fast he thought it was going to explode. He was nervous but he wanted this so bad, he wanted to know what it felt like and he wanted to be with Gerard. He jumped as he heard Gerard come into the room, he looked at his hands and saw what seemed to be a condom and lube. Gerard smiled and waved them in the air.
"We need these!" Kyler laughed as Gerard jumped onto the bed, placing the lube and condom beside them on the bed.
"Are you positive you want to do this?" Gerard asked one final time and Kyler nodded. Gerard placed a sweet kiss on his lips and sat up, his fingers curling around the top of Kyler's boxers. He slowly pulled them down, releasing the younger mans erection. Kyler kicked off his boxers and watched as Gerard took his own off. Kyler felt extremely nervous when he saw how big Gerard was and a bit embarrassed. He was huge. Sure he had seen him naked before but never noticed how big he was compared to himself.
Gerard picked up the lube, squeezing a reasonable amount onto his fingers and slowly spread it across his fingers.Kyler watched and shuddered at the thought of them being inside him. Would it hurt? He thought and jumped slightly as Gerard's hand rested on his stomach.
"I'm going to prep you, so it doesn't hurt as much. I'll go slow and make sure I've prepped you enough because it's your first time. Ok?"
"Ok." Kyler whispered and shuddered as he felt Gerard's cold finger press lightly against his entrance. Gerard slowly pushed the first finger into Kyler and felt his muscles clench around it. He looked at Kyler, his eyes were shut and he was biting his lip.
"It's ok, just relax babe." Gerard soothed Kyler who began to relax. Gerard started to move his finger in and out of Kyler, when he thought he was ready he added a second and Kyler released a groan as he started to stretch him. Gerard was surprised Kyler had relaxed so quickly and added a third. This time Kyler let out a small whimper, it hurt a little but not too much. "Are you ok?'
"Y-Yeah." Kyler stuttered and ground his hips against Gerard's fingers, making them go deeper. He let out a loud cry as they hit something inside him, he didn't know what it was but it felt so good. Gerard smiled and prepped him a bit more until he thought he was finally ready. He slowly slipped his fingers out, earning a disapproving groan from Kyler.
Gerard smiled and picked up the condom, ripping the foil off and throwing it on the floor. Kyler watched Gerard roll the condom down his length and his cock twitched at the contact. Kyler licked his lips out of habit and released a small groan as he watched. Gerard picked up the lube again, squeezing it onto the palm of his hand then threw it onto the floor on top of his jeans. He slowly stroked himself, spreading the lube across the condom and released a low growl at his touch. Once he had finished, he slowly spread Kyler's legs and positioned himself in between them. He looked down at Kyler, he could tell he was nervous but there was nothing he could do or say to stop him from being nervous.
"Kyler I'm not going to lie to you, this will probably hurt like hell at first but it does get better. I promise." Gerard leant down, sharing a sloppy but passionate kiss with Kyler. He leant back, slowly guiding himself into Kyler's entrance. Kyler hissed as Gerard began to push himself in. It hurt. It hurt like hell, more then he ever imagined. It felt like he was being torn into.
"Are you ok?" Gerard quickly asked and Kyler just nodded, screwing his eyes shut as Gerard pushed in further and deeper. Kyler gripped the bed sheets as he felt himself become completely full. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No. Just wait, please. Don't move. This hurts so much but it'll get better." Kyler whimpered and Gerard slowly kissed his neck and chest trying to sooth him. After a few minutes Kyler nodded for him to continue. Gerard hesitated for a few seconds but started to thrust into Kyler. He couldn't believe how tight he was, he knew he wasn't going to last long.
Kyler was in so much pain, he couldn't even speak. He knew it would probably hurt a bit but not this much. He took deep breaths as he tried to calm himself, his grip on the bed covers tightening and his eyes were screwed shut. After a few minutes the pain wasn't as bad but it still hurt. He opened his eyes and watched as Gerard moaned above him. He let go of the covers and rested his hands on Gerard's hips.
Gerard could feel his orgasm coming and was annoyed that it was so soon. He reached down and wrapped his slender fingers around Kyler's now half hard cock.
Kyler was a bit embarrassed about not being hard, but it was difficult when he wasn't really enjoying it. He moaned as Gerard started to stroke his cock, he could feel himself getting hard again and pressed his head back into the pillow beneath him. If he couldn't enjoy Gerard being inside him, he was sure as hell going to enjoy this. Gerard's thrusts got faster as he got closer and closer to his climax. He watched as Kyler's mouth fell open and a loud moan escaped as he came into his hand.
"Oh god." Gerard moaned as he came, biting down on Kyler's shoulder as he rode his orgasm out. After a few minutes he slowly pulled out of Kyler, who winced at the slight pain. Gerard collapsed next to him on the bed, trying to steady his breathing.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you. It's really sore the first time but it's not always like that, I promise." Gerard smiled and ran his fingers down the side of Kyler's face.
"It did hurt, but it was worth it." Kyler yawned and stretched out. "I'm really tired now."
"Why don't you get some sleep? It's like nearly four, so you have plenty of time." Gerard smiled and Kyler nodded, wrapping himself in the duvet.
"Thank you." Kyler whispered and Gerard nodded, getting up from the bed. He removed the condom from his now flaccid penis and walked over to the bathroom, grabbing some tissue and wrapping the condom in it. He didn't really want Eliza to find a used condom in Kyler's trash bin. He walked back into the room quietly and sighed as he saw that Kyler was in a deep sleep. He quickly threw the tissue in the bin and grabbed his clothes. After a few minutes he was fully dressed and he quietly walked out of Kyler's room, closing the door behind him, quickly running downstairs.
Before he knew it, he collapsed on the floor, his hands covering his face as he cried. Cried harder then he had ever before. He hadn't talked to Kyler yet about when he was leaving and what they were going to do. He couldn't tell him, he couldn't do that to Kyler. Gerard had decided more then a week ago he was going to end it with Kyler, he couldn't make him wait for him and he knew while he was on tour... they would drift apart.
Gerard rubbed his eyes aggressively, wiping the tears away and took a deep breath. He picked himself up off the floor and walked into the kitchen, picking up the notepad on the counter and then a pen. He walked over to the stool and sat down, clicking the pen and started to write the most painful thing he could ever write.
---
Kyler slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times and let a small groan as he tried to move and pain ran through his lower body. He leant back and smiled, he couldn't believe they had finally done it. It may not have been perfect but it was still good. He stretched his arms above his head and released a long yawn. He looked around the room, realizing Gerard wasn't here and his clothes were gone. He must have gone home. Kyler thought and looked over at the clock. It was one in the morning, he was now sixteen and had been asleep for hours.
He climbed out of bed, opening a drawer and grabbing a pair of boxers, quickly sliding them on. He walked over to the door and stared down at the floor. There was a piece of paper, folded in two that had been slid under the door with his name written clearly on it. He quickly picked it up and sat on the bed, opening it and starting to read.
Kyler,
I'm sorry I'm leaving you this note. I really am. But I just couldn't tell you in person, not after today. I love you so much, please remember that but I couldn't see you be hurt... especially by me.
I haven't mentioned the tour because I didn't want you to know when we were leaving. We're leaving tomorrow at 1am, I won't get to see you and that's what I hoped for. It sounds horrible but if I see you before I leave I won't be able to let you go.
I wish I didn't have to do this, but I have too. I love you, I wish I could be with you but I can't make you wait for me and the fact is... I'm not coming back to Belleville. You have school and I would never ask you to leave. These last few months, they have been the best of my life and I will cherish them. I wish I didn't have to let you go, but I must.
I love you Kyler, please remember that. You'll find someone else, someone better then me... I promise you.
Gerard x
Kyler sat in shock at what he just read, he read it over and over again until it finally sank in. Gerard had left him and he wasn't coming back. Kyler let the letter slip from his hand as he felt the first tear slide down his face.
"But I only want you."
Meanwhile Gerard sat in the back of Frank's car as they drove out of Belleville towards the airport. Ray was sat in the front, Bob and Mikey were next to him happily chatting away. Gerard stared out the window, hiding his face from everyone so they couldn't see the endless amounts of tears as they got further away from Belleville. As they got further away from Kyler. Gerard could feel his heart break every second he got further away from him and he knew that this was the end of everything. He had lost his love but he made the decision to leave. He could never forgive himself for doing this to Kyler and to himself.
Fin.
A/N: should i do a sequel?
It was two days before Kyler's birthday, nothing important had happened in the two weeks that had rapidly passed except the talk between Gerard and his mom. He was glad that they had sorted things out but was annoyed at Gerard for not telling him first. Mikey hadn't been able to change the tour date, this upset everyone but mainly Kyler and Gerard. They hadn't talked about what was going to happen when Gerard left and neither of them really wanted to.
It had just turned midnight, Kyler lay awake in his bed staring at the ceiling and let out a long sigh. He turned on his side and stared out of his window, the glow of the moon illuminating his room and the whistle of the wind outside barely audible but soothing. He didn't wantGerard to go and especially not on his birthday. One day left. Gerard thought as he quickly glanced at the clock next to his bed, the numbers glowing red and he could feel his eye lids getting heavier. A few minutes later he drifted into a peaceful sleep with one person on his mind - Gerard.
---
Gerard let himself into Kyler's house quietly, softly closing the door behind him as he knew Kyler would still be asleep seeing as it was a Sunday. He knew where the spare key was from Eliza and used it constantly. It was practically his second home. He searched the house for Eliza only to find a note on the kitchen counter.
Kyler,
I had to go into work today as they needed help. I won't be back till about 5 or 6.
You'll have to get your own dinner, it's hard work I know. I left some money in the usual place, don't buy junk. I'll know if you do, I have people to spy on you and cameras everywhere.
Mom x
Gerard laughed at the note and set it back down onto the counter. Turning around and making his way upstairs to Kyler's room. He peaked his head into the room to find Kyler sprawled out on the bed, his hair messed up with nothing but boxers on. He would be lying if he didn't find this extremely hot. He licked his lips and quietly walked into the room, carefully setting himself down on the bed so he wouldn't wake Kyler up. Kyler chest was rising and falling slowly, his breathing shallow. Gerard laughed quietly as Kyler released a grunt as he moved his fringe from his face.
"Mmm Mom it's Sunday, let me sleep woman!" Kyler groaned and grabbed his pillow, smothering himself with it. He obviously didn't realize it was Gerard in the room and not Eliza.
"Woman? Who the hell are you calling woman? If I was your mom I would let you sleep. But I'm not so... Wake up!" Gerard shouted and Kyler started to laugh from underneath the pillow. Gerard smiled and snatched the pillow from his face.
"Fine! God dammit, this better be good if you're waking me up on a Sunday. If I'm grumpy and moody, it's your fault." Kyler complained, sitting up and flattening his hair with his palms. Gerard laughed and brought the pillow to his chest, sitting Indian style on the bed.
"Yeah it's my fault blah blah . Am I actually bothered?" Gerard asked, pointing at himself and Kyler raised his eyebrow. "I think not. Now what shall I do to you today?"
Gerard pretended to think about his answer but before he could Kyler practically jumped on him, his mouth hovering over Gerard's as he looked into his hazel eyes. His pearly white teeth showing as he smiled up at Kyler. Kyler licked his lips and leant down slowly, both enduring in a slow closed mouth kiss. Gerard's hand wondered up Kyler's hips, lightly raking his nails up and down the smooth skin. Kyler shivered at his touch, kissing Gerard harder and snaking his tongue into his warm mouth. Tongues massaging each others whilst Gerard played with the top of Kyler's boxers, lightly tugging at them. Kyler pulled away from the kiss looking down at Gerard, his heart thumping in his chest with nerves. He didn't know why he was nervous, they had done stuff before but he always seemed to be nervous when they did. He guessed he was scared if it went further, he did want it to but he was scared he would be a disappointment or Gerard would stop them.
"Kyler I was thinking..." Gerard began and Kyler felt the nervousness building up. "Maybe I could give you your birthday present a day early."
Gerard bit his lip nervously, resting his hands on Kyler's hips and awaited a response. Kyler sat up, he was straddling the man beneath him and he didn't know what to say. He wanted to yell yes and attack the man waiting beneath him but he was... scared. Kyler opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was his shaky breath.
"I won't make you do anything. If you're not ready I - "
"I want to." Kyler blurted out and smiled nervously. Gerard leant up on his elbows and stared at Kyler.
"Are you sure?" Gerard asked, Kyler just nodded and joined their lips again. The kiss growing deeper and deeper until it was passionate and full of lust. Gerard's hands came up into Kyler's hair, tangling his fingers in his hair and tugging lightly. Kyler let out a moan into Gerard's mouth and pushed him back down onto the bed.
"You're so perfect." Gerard whispered breathlessly and Kyler giggled.
"So are you. Don't ever leave me. Promise me you won't." Kyler begged. Gerard struggled to reply but he had too.
"I promise." Gerard whispered and smiled up at Kyler. He leant up, wrapping his arms round his hips and quickly switched their position so he was now on top of Kyler. Gerard quickly pulled off his shirt then leant back down, continuing to kiss Kyler whilst his hands moved down his torso and snaked into his boxers, curling his fingers round Kyler's erection. Kyler gasped and let out a low growl as Gerard started to stroke his erection.
Gerard kissed Kyler's neck, lightly sucking at the flesh as he heard the delightful moans Kyler was making. He could feel his own erection trapped inside his jeans, he stopped his hand movements and released Kyler's neck who whimpered. His eyes opened, he watched as Gerard started to work on his belt, undoing it and the zipper on his jeans. Gerard got off Kyler, standing up next to the bed and he quickly slid his jeans down his hips, legs then quickly stepped out of them. Both were now in their boxers and extremely hard.
Gerard looked around the floor, searching for something then realized where it was.
"Ok, wait here. I just have to go and get something, ok?" Before Kyler could answer, Gerard was out the door and he could hear him running down the stairs. Kyler leant back in the bed, his heart was beating so fast he thought it was going to explode. He was nervous but he wanted this so bad, he wanted to know what it felt like and he wanted to be with Gerard. He jumped as he heard Gerard come into the room, he looked at his hands and saw what seemed to be a condom and lube. Gerard smiled and waved them in the air.
"We need these!" Kyler laughed as Gerard jumped onto the bed, placing the lube and condom beside them on the bed.
"Are you positive you want to do this?" Gerard asked one final time and Kyler nodded. Gerard placed a sweet kiss on his lips and sat up, his fingers curling around the top of Kyler's boxers. He slowly pulled them down, releasing the younger mans erection. Kyler kicked off his boxers and watched as Gerard took his own off. Kyler felt extremely nervous when he saw how big Gerard was and a bit embarrassed. He was huge. Sure he had seen him naked before but never noticed how big he was compared to himself.
Gerard picked up the lube, squeezing a reasonable amount onto his fingers and slowly spread it across his fingers.Kyler watched and shuddered at the thought of them being inside him. Would it hurt? He thought and jumped slightly as Gerard's hand rested on his stomach.
"I'm going to prep you, so it doesn't hurt as much. I'll go slow and make sure I've prepped you enough because it's your first time. Ok?"
"Ok." Kyler whispered and shuddered as he felt Gerard's cold finger press lightly against his entrance. Gerard slowly pushed the first finger into Kyler and felt his muscles clench around it. He looked at Kyler, his eyes were shut and he was biting his lip.
"It's ok, just relax babe." Gerard soothed Kyler who began to relax. Gerard started to move his finger in and out of Kyler, when he thought he was ready he added a second and Kyler released a groan as he started to stretch him. Gerard was surprised Kyler had relaxed so quickly and added a third. This time Kyler let out a small whimper, it hurt a little but not too much. "Are you ok?'
"Y-Yeah." Kyler stuttered and ground his hips against Gerard's fingers, making them go deeper. He let out a loud cry as they hit something inside him, he didn't know what it was but it felt so good. Gerard smiled and prepped him a bit more until he thought he was finally ready. He slowly slipped his fingers out, earning a disapproving groan from Kyler.
Gerard smiled and picked up the condom, ripping the foil off and throwing it on the floor. Kyler watched Gerard roll the condom down his length and his cock twitched at the contact. Kyler licked his lips out of habit and released a small groan as he watched. Gerard picked up the lube again, squeezing it onto the palm of his hand then threw it onto the floor on top of his jeans. He slowly stroked himself, spreading the lube across the condom and released a low growl at his touch. Once he had finished, he slowly spread Kyler's legs and positioned himself in between them. He looked down at Kyler, he could tell he was nervous but there was nothing he could do or say to stop him from being nervous.
"Kyler I'm not going to lie to you, this will probably hurt like hell at first but it does get better. I promise." Gerard leant down, sharing a sloppy but passionate kiss with Kyler. He leant back, slowly guiding himself into Kyler's entrance. Kyler hissed as Gerard began to push himself in. It hurt. It hurt like hell, more then he ever imagined. It felt like he was being torn into.
"Are you ok?" Gerard quickly asked and Kyler just nodded, screwing his eyes shut as Gerard pushed in further and deeper. Kyler gripped the bed sheets as he felt himself become completely full. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No. Just wait, please. Don't move. This hurts so much but it'll get better." Kyler whimpered and Gerard slowly kissed his neck and chest trying to sooth him. After a few minutes Kyler nodded for him to continue. Gerard hesitated for a few seconds but started to thrust into Kyler. He couldn't believe how tight he was, he knew he wasn't going to last long.
Kyler was in so much pain, he couldn't even speak. He knew it would probably hurt a bit but not this much. He took deep breaths as he tried to calm himself, his grip on the bed covers tightening and his eyes were screwed shut. After a few minutes the pain wasn't as bad but it still hurt. He opened his eyes and watched as Gerard moaned above him. He let go of the covers and rested his hands on Gerard's hips.
Gerard could feel his orgasm coming and was annoyed that it was so soon. He reached down and wrapped his slender fingers around Kyler's now half hard cock.
Kyler was a bit embarrassed about not being hard, but it was difficult when he wasn't really enjoying it. He moaned as Gerard started to stroke his cock, he could feel himself getting hard again and pressed his head back into the pillow beneath him. If he couldn't enjoy Gerard being inside him, he was sure as hell going to enjoy this. Gerard's thrusts got faster as he got closer and closer to his climax. He watched as Kyler's mouth fell open and a loud moan escaped as he came into his hand.
"Oh god." Gerard moaned as he came, biting down on Kyler's shoulder as he rode his orgasm out. After a few minutes he slowly pulled out of Kyler, who winced at the slight pain. Gerard collapsed next to him on the bed, trying to steady his breathing.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you. It's really sore the first time but it's not always like that, I promise." Gerard smiled and ran his fingers down the side of Kyler's face.
"It did hurt, but it was worth it." Kyler yawned and stretched out. "I'm really tired now."
"Why don't you get some sleep? It's like nearly four, so you have plenty of time." Gerard smiled and Kyler nodded, wrapping himself in the duvet.
"Thank you." Kyler whispered and Gerard nodded, getting up from the bed. He removed the condom from his now flaccid penis and walked over to the bathroom, grabbing some tissue and wrapping the condom in it. He didn't really want Eliza to find a used condom in Kyler's trash bin. He walked back into the room quietly and sighed as he saw that Kyler was in a deep sleep. He quickly threw the tissue in the bin and grabbed his clothes. After a few minutes he was fully dressed and he quietly walked out of Kyler's room, closing the door behind him, quickly running downstairs.
Before he knew it, he collapsed on the floor, his hands covering his face as he cried. Cried harder then he had ever before. He hadn't talked to Kyler yet about when he was leaving and what they were going to do. He couldn't tell him, he couldn't do that to Kyler. Gerard had decided more then a week ago he was going to end it with Kyler, he couldn't make him wait for him and he knew while he was on tour... they would drift apart.
Gerard rubbed his eyes aggressively, wiping the tears away and took a deep breath. He picked himself up off the floor and walked into the kitchen, picking up the notepad on the counter and then a pen. He walked over to the stool and sat down, clicking the pen and started to write the most painful thing he could ever write.
---
Kyler slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times and let a small groan as he tried to move and pain ran through his lower body. He leant back and smiled, he couldn't believe they had finally done it. It may not have been perfect but it was still good. He stretched his arms above his head and released a long yawn. He looked around the room, realizing Gerard wasn't here and his clothes were gone. He must have gone home. Kyler thought and looked over at the clock. It was one in the morning, he was now sixteen and had been asleep for hours.
He climbed out of bed, opening a drawer and grabbing a pair of boxers, quickly sliding them on. He walked over to the door and stared down at the floor. There was a piece of paper, folded in two that had been slid under the door with his name written clearly on it. He quickly picked it up and sat on the bed, opening it and starting to read.
Kyler,
I'm sorry I'm leaving you this note. I really am. But I just couldn't tell you in person, not after today. I love you so much, please remember that but I couldn't see you be hurt... especially by me.
I haven't mentioned the tour because I didn't want you to know when we were leaving. We're leaving tomorrow at 1am, I won't get to see you and that's what I hoped for. It sounds horrible but if I see you before I leave I won't be able to let you go.
I wish I didn't have to do this, but I have too. I love you, I wish I could be with you but I can't make you wait for me and the fact is... I'm not coming back to Belleville. You have school and I would never ask you to leave. These last few months, they have been the best of my life and I will cherish them. I wish I didn't have to let you go, but I must.
I love you Kyler, please remember that. You'll find someone else, someone better then me... I promise you.
Gerard x
Kyler sat in shock at what he just read, he read it over and over again until it finally sank in. Gerard had left him and he wasn't coming back. Kyler let the letter slip from his hand as he felt the first tear slide down his face.
"But I only want you."
Meanwhile Gerard sat in the back of Frank's car as they drove out of Belleville towards the airport. Ray was sat in the front, Bob and Mikey were next to him happily chatting away. Gerard stared out the window, hiding his face from everyone so they couldn't see the endless amounts of tears as they got further away from Belleville. As they got further away from Kyler. Gerard could feel his heart break every second he got further away from him and he knew that this was the end of everything. He had lost his love but he made the decision to leave. He could never forgive himself for doing this to Kyler and to himself.
Fin.
A/N: should i do a sequel?
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