Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Not What You Think

by GerardWayisSex 19 reviews

[Frerard] They're not fucking. They can't be. That moaning's just a trick, right?...Right... ADULT CONTENT HUZZAH.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2007-12-23 - Updated: 2007-12-23 - 1140 words - Complete

The following is Frerard and contains adult content. If you don’t like the end I will break your face in. I also do not know Mikey’s, Bob’s, or Ray’s heights so I had to guess.

”UH… Oh, Gerard…”
There was a rhythmic squeaking sound. At the same even intervals of the squeaking were low grunts and pants. Every now and then something on the other side of the wall would thump loudly and would promptly be followed by either a lusty ”Oh, GOD, Gerard, YES!/” or /”Frankie, baby, TAKE IT!” Generally this wouldn’t have been a problem, except that now there were three other people on the other side of the door, their ears pressed firmly to the wood. Initially there had been none and the grunts and groans of the two males had gone completely unheard. But as one person after another boarded the (unfortunately) small tour bus, the group of eavesdroppers had grown three fold. The three men on the quiet side of the door were lined up tallest to shortest; that is to say, the shortest (Mikey) knelt down on the floor, the next tallest (Bob) was hunched over him, his elbow resting on the shortest man’s shoulder, and the tallest (Ray) stood up almost straight, leaning on Bob’s back as he listened through the door. Mikey cringed since some of the sounds were coming from his brother, and one doesn’t like to imagine their siblings engaging in such activity.

Bob cursed as Frank groaned out words to make his mother cry. “You don’t think they’re really fucking do you?” he asked.

“I didn’t know they were…” Mikey thought for the phrased as he heard his brother say something to Frank about ”Taking it all, you dirty whore”/. “…/into each other./” Mikey realized the pun in his word choice as Frank screamed out, /”SLAM IT INTO ME, YOU BITCH!”

As far as the rest of the band knew, Gerard and Frank kissed on stage for fans, off stage for the hell of it and any time they felt like it just because they could. All these years they had never done anything sexual. And if they had, well, they’d done a damn good job of keeping it secret. The other band members seriously doubted this as this was easily the loudest sex they’d ever heard.

”Yeah! Yeah!! Right there, baby!”

”I’m trying but you’re just so – OH GOD YES!”

“Wait- wait- wait a minute!” Ray protested suddenly, shaking his head. “This has happened like, a million times before. They’re not…you know…” he looked at the door. “…screwing or whatever.”

Bob and Mikey looked up at him from their places near the bottom of the door. They kept their voices low, lest the lovers hear them.

“If this isn’t fucking, I don’t know what is,” Mikey snapped. Bob suddenly looked at the door as well, as if he could suddenly see what was going on.

“No, no, he’s right,” he said. “Remember all those times we heard noises like this and we thought they were…y’know…and it turned out to be something stupid like playing cards or something?” Mikey gave a small word of agreement. “They’re doing it again. They probably know we’re listening, too.”

Mikey suddenly understood. Well, it was so fucking obvious. The reason they’d never heard sex this loud before was…there was none. There had been so many times where they had thought that his brother and Frank were banging each other’s brains out and they were just doing something innocent. They weren’t falling for it this time.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Mikey sighed. They all stood up from their places at the door. “And they almost got us again.”

But they weren’t stupid. And the guys of My Chemical Romance weren’t fooled that easy.


”Ohh…Ooohh…Frank…Ah! AH!”

“Yeah, baby, scream for me- OH, FUCK!”

“Those /idiots!/” Bob cried. He was tired of this. Every fucking day this week they had been making those stupid noises and every fucking day the three other band members would end outside the door, listening ever so carefully for a giggle or a whisper of something to give away their joke. So far, there had been nothing. And, frankly, they were pissed. Pissed at being fooled into sitting outside the bunkroom for a half an hour every day, pissed at the noises, pissed at those stupid smug, satisfied smirks Gerard and Frank always had when they emerged from the room.

“Can’t we just, like, walk in there and tell them off?” Ray asked desperately. So far the three of them were sitting in the kitchen area, not reduced to kneeling and eavesdropping. Mikey shook his head.

“No! Then they know they’ve beaten us!” There seemed to be some sort of odd sibling rivalry between Mikey and Gerard. And apparently Mikey didn’t like to lose. It became hard not to give though when his brother and their friend were screaming and moaning in the room next to them.



“Jesus, CHRIST, they’re good at faking it!” Bob groaned. The three of them sat in an uncomfortable silence. All of their bodies seemed tense as they waited for the noises to stop. There were a few more deep thuds as if something was pounding into the wall, some groans, and then the final weak moans of the end of passion. The three band members all let out silent breaths of relief…only to hear the thudding begin again.

”Ooh-Ooh, baby, don’t stop, never stop!”

“Ah-I-I love you so much, you’re so fucking hot- OH, SHI-I-I-T…”

Mikey stood up sharply. He felt like his head was splitting in two. He marched over to the bunkroom door.

“Okay!” He declared loudly. “I don’t give a fuck if they got me, I’ve so fucking sick of-” He threw open the door. There was a moment in which he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So he just let out a horrified scream and ran back into the kitchen.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” he cried, his voice high with some sort of strained emotion. “OH MY /GOD!/” Bob and Ray stood up and ran over to the door. They looked inside. Ray ran to the bathroom, his stomach lurching. Bob bolted out of the tour bus. Gerard and Frank were silent for a moment, then burst out laughing.

They’d gotten them all right. Because Mikey, Bob, and Ray opened the door to find Gerard and Frank doing exactly what they thought they were doing in the first place.
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