Categories > TV > Criss Angel Mindfreak

Animal I Have Become

by white_queen 0 reviews

From the point of view of his ex-wife, JoAnn. What she was thinking as she left the courthouse.

Category: Criss Angel Mindfreak - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst - Published: 2007-12-31 - Updated: 2007-12-31 - 332 words

Ladies, let's be honest: breaking up with a guy is hell. I don't care if you've been with him a couple of months or pretty much most of your life, like I had with Criss.

You probably don't know me unless you're a really, really big fan of the show, but you know how in the first season you kept seeing a tall, blonde, leggy woman in her mid-thirties who he introduces as "JoAnn, Criss's girl"? That's me: JoAnn Wynhart.

I supported him from the beginning. Most women get annoyed by their men's obsessions. Not me. I was just glad to have a man in the first place. And we'd known each other for a very long time, so I was used to it. We talked endlessly about what we'd do if we finally "made it".

Little did I know that it would end our mariage.

It was the producers of the show who suggested we'd hide the fact we were husband and wife. Thought it would help his sex appeal, or something like that. Strangely enough, I was ok with it at first. Criss was finally doing good. If it helped his tv show, so be it.

But the cracks started to appear. There's only so many times you can see your man light himself on fire, hang in midair attacked to fishhooks in his back, let a SUV run over him, and so on, got to me. His job started to interfere with our life together. The final straw was that woodchipper stunt. I swear, I thought he had died. His poor mother, I thought she'd have a heart attack. No wonder she yelled at him.

So, a few days after that, I gave him an ultimatum: magic or me. Guess what he chose? Yep. Silly me.

So as I walk out into the open air, photographer's lights snapping, I hope and pray that he'll find a woman who cares like I did. 'Cause I sure as hell won't anymore
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