FicWad

This was a super long chapter, or at least it felt like it while i wrote it. I hope ya'll like it. I'm super sorry i didn't get it up here last night like i promised. But a friend came over and i got sdetracked. Well, here it is. Enjoy and don't forget to reviewreviewreview!!!!

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At Patrick’s Apartment

Patrick let Jazie walk into the elevator first and chuckled when Jazie raced him to push the button up to the 6th floor. When the door opened on the right floor, their hands attached automatically and their arms swung absent-mindedly as they strolled down the hallway toward apartment # 305.

When they got to the door, Patrick took out his keys and Jazie clung tighter to her jacket, for warmth and maybe a little security. She was nervous. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen once they got into that apartment, but whatever it was, she knew it would help her understand where they were headed with their relationship. Maybe it would be a turning point. Or maybe she just hoped it be.

Patrick opened the door and let Jazie walk in first, than followed close behind her. As she looked around the darkness, Patrick dropped his keys on a table right next to the door and turned on some lights. Jazie smiled to look around and not see a bachelor pad. It was fairly normal; laid back, kind of dirty (but expected of a guys house), and comfy. There were somewhat new-seeming appliances laying around in boxes and plenty of fan letters strewn across the apartment, but other than that, it was just plain normal. She sighed happily and dropped her jacket and purse on a nearby chair.

“Bored already?” Jazie smirked and shoved Patrick playfully.

“No. Just content I guess…”

Patrick smiled. “Already? Hmm, this place must be amazing.” He laughed out loud and Jazie snorted at his arrogance. She turned slowly to look around his apartment; examine it if you will. She quickly came to a conclusion.

“It’s alright.” She shrugs to spite him.

“Mhhmmm. That’s what they all say. But then I serenade them with my husky lumberjack voice and they come running into my big strong arms.” Patrick walked with a pimp limp over to Jazie and snaked his arms around her waist.

Jazie laughed and pushed him away. “So there are so many women filing through this place that you refer to them as “they all”? Well Mr. Stump, I think I got a hustler on my hands.” She put her hands on her hips accusingly.

“Ha-ha. I don’t like bragging about it. I’m a humble man.” Patrick dusted off his shoulders and they both started laughing. They were both in agreement that not only is Patrick never going to be a hustler, but he will never be able to say that women file through his apartment.

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” Jazie asks as she walks over to the couch and sinks down into the cushions.

Patrick walks up to her and grabs her hand, pulling her up off the comfy couch she just settled herself into.

“I’m going to give you a tour of the place. Mi case es su casa.”

She smirked suspiciously. “Well…if you insist. Lead the way Sir Stump.” She let him lead her down a hallway and he stopped at the first door.

When the door creaked open, she walked in and turned on the light. She looked around and inspected the room.

“Hmm... guest room?”

Patrick smirked behind her. “Could be.”

She turned around and smiled apprehensively. “What does that mean ‘Mr. everything I say has a double meaning’?”

“Nothing. I just haven’t decided what I want to do with it yet. It’s still a pretty new place.” He pauses cautiously.

Put up your guard Stump. Don’t get hurt.

“You know, anytime I’m in town and you wanna stay over, this could be…your room…or whatever.” He watched his feet as he waited for the silence to stop.

Jazie smiled as she looked around the room again. “Yah, that sounds cool.”

His head shot up. “What? Really? Oh, man. I mean…cool. Yah. Okay.” He regained his composure and took her hand again.

“On to the next room. And Jazie, I really want you to get familiar with the place. Treat it as your own. This could be your sanctuary if your ever need one, you know. Come over whenever you want.”

Jazie grinned and nodded, letting it all sink in.

Hmm. Is he asking me to move in, or am I over analyzing this? He’s probably just offering a place to stay the night every once and a while. Don’t over-think everything Jazie!

“Alright. Duly noted.”

They continued on to the next room, which was just a standard bathroom. That was a fairly quick one. The only rule to the bathroom was not to touch his cologne. The thought never even entered her mind…but they just kept walking.

The next room was the master bedroom. They walked in and Jazie glanced around to see a few guitars and posters of ancient bands on the walls. She glanced around and was interested to see a stuffed dog laying on the bed.

She giggled and walked over to pick it up. Patrick ran over and tried to take it out of her hands but she was too quick. She grabbed it and rolled over the bed and skipped to the other side of the room.

“Ha-ha. What IS this?!” She asked, dangling it in the air tauntingly.

Patrick sighed. “It’s a stuffed animal I’ve had since birth. I have a hard time sleeping without it. Alright, there you have it. Yes, very embarrassing. Ok, can you give it back now?” He help out his hand with a pleading face.

Jazie giggled and looked at Patrick mischievously.

“You’re gonna have to take it from me.” She swung it in the air a few times before tossing it up and down and side to side. Patrick’s eyes followed the dog into the air before landing back on Jazie’s smiling face.

“You really wanna start this? You’re getting in way too deep girl. You can’t handle this.” He pointed to his body, is if to point out exactly what she couldn’t “handle”. This just made Jazie roll her eyes. “I’m positive I can handle…that.” She pointed to Patrick’s gut.

He looked down at where she was pointing and covered his stomach, gasping sarcastically.

“That hurt baby. You really cut me with that one. You’re being a real bad girl today.” She giggled at where he was taking the conversation.

“Well, I guess you’re going to have to punish me then. Or I won’t learn my lesson.” She swung the dog at her side and then toward Patrick. She looked up and gave him that “come hither” stare that drove him up the wall.

“Come on, come and get me.” She whispered before prancing out of the room. Patrick laughed out loud and chased her down the halls, into the kitchen, around the table, over the couch, behind a chair, through the guest room, and back into Patrick’s room.

“Back where we started.” Patrick said between gasps of air.

I really need to get into shape. This girls going to be the death of me if we keep doing these little tag games.

“And I still have your dog. You’re pathetic Stump. Just give it up. This bad girl is kicking your ass. Come kiss my feet and call me master.” Jazie pointed down at her shoes.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“You’re so right. I’m not worthy.” He walked over and went down on his knees, bending over toward her feet, but grabbed her legs and pulled her down onto the ground with him. He tickled her sides and she couldn’t stop giggling. She accidentally let go of the dog during the whole tickle-fest and Patrick snatched it up quick. He ran across the room and threw the dog in the closet.

“HAH! Gotcha. Sucka.” Patrick jumped around and pointed at Jazie, still laying on the ground.

“Yup, you got me all right. You strong manly macho man. How did I get such a stud?” She rolled her eyes as she walked over to him.

“So, you gonna punish me or what?” She whispered into his ears as she wrapped her hands around his waist.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Patrick’s rough whisper in her ear and his breath on her neck sent shivers down her back and the hair raise on her arms.

“Mmhhm.” She moaned intentionally into his ear. Hearing this launched Patrick’s hands into overdrive and they went everywhere: caressing her cheeks, along her hips, around her neck, across her stomach and back, and the length of her arms. No part of her body was abandoned by his touch. Every part of her got specific attention. He just wanted to feel all of her, without forcing anything or going too far. (He knew where she stood with where they were sexually.) She pulled him closer and brought his face down for a kiss. She rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and the other trailed up the back of his shirt.

They just stood there, content with just touching each other and kissing each others lips, soaking in the taste of each other.

Later That Day

Jazie sat on Patrick’s bed with his acoustic guitar and fiddled with some chords, just strumming absent-mindedly as he made them some coffee in the kitchen. She smiled to herself and hummed a little melody to go along with the notes she played.

She loved the feeling of the strings against her fingers. She’d been playing since she was 10. She raised the money to buy her first guitar by mowing neighbor’s lawns for a whole summer and taught herself how to play in less then a few months. She just sat in her room and practiced and practiced and practiced. That’s all she could do to drown out her parents screams coming from downstairs. When her parents weren’t yelling in her face and she wasn’t at school or with Sarah, she was playing guitar. It was her savior. It kept her sane for all those years. THAT was her sanctuary.

She continued to play little stuff she had written from before she even met Patrick. It grew from quiet humming to actual words being formed. She sang along to the song she knew from heart after playing it over and over again in her mind over the years.

It’s hard to relate to someone so fake.
I can read the disgust clear on your face.
There’s nothing I can do right.
You’ve made that clear.
I’ve been living so long with this crippling fear.
As you grow older, it gets a little stronger.
I’m plotting my revenge as the days stretch longer.
I can escape if I wanted.
But where’s the satisfaction?
Your behaviors have caused this chain reaction.

I want you to taste what you’ve done,
Feel it in your bones
You’ve created this hateful thing.
Do you hear this devilish tone?
It’s coming now.
Can’t you hear it?
That’s called justice.
I’ll make you feel it.

It’s ending tonight.
I’ll make sure that’s true.
I can see my freedom.
It’s slowly coming into view.
All I need is this one last piece
To make it all complete
There’s no turning back now.

Jazie kept singing the song and got more emotional with every line. She didn’t even realize Patrick was standing in the doorway with 2 cups of coffee, watching her sing it. She stopped playing and looked down at her sore and red fingers. She sighed and set the guitar down next to her. She reached up and wiped away a tear under her eye.

“Wow.” Patrick sighed.

Jazie screamed and turned to see Patrick spill coffee all over his shirt.

“Holy shit Jazie! Chill, it’s just me baby.” He chuckled, but stopped when he saw Jazie’s face. He sat down the coffee(or what was left of it) on a nearby table and sat next to her on the bed.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry for scarin you like that. I shouldn’t be so creepy all the time.” She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

“No, that’s not it. I just…I’m a little upset right now. I’m sorry. I’m a little on edge.” Patrick smiled sympathetically.

“Well, I WAS bringin in coffee, but now you’re going to have to suck it out of my shirt.” He lifted up his shirt to show the proof. She giggled and smoothed her hand over Patrick’s arm.

“How much did you hear?” She looked up at him with big watery eyes.

“Everything. Baby it was beautiful. Kinda scary, but in a really good way.”

She shook her head. “I never wanted you to hear that song. I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize I was playing it. It’s become like a part of me now. It shows up every once and a while when I least expect it. Once I start playing that melody, the rest is history.”

“I’m sorry.”

She looked up at him with questioning eyes. “About what?”

Oh shit, she never told me about her dad. I was eaves dropping. I’m not supposed to know about that shit. Cover up. Cover up!

“Oh, um…well the song kind of implies that someone treated you badly. I don’t know. I guess I came to my own conclusion. Am I way off base?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s true. You pretty much got it. I never really told you about my home life, even though I know you wanted me to open up. I didn’t want to ruin what we had with my past. I’m sorry, but I don’t know if you’ll ever really get that…” She trailed off, regretting saying that automatically and hoping Patrick didn’t take offense.

“No, I get it. I never really went through anything shitty in my childhood. How could I possibly relate to any of your problems?” He stood up to walk out of the room.

She grabbed his arm to stop him. “No, Patrick, please don’t go. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. God, sometime I just don’t know when to shut my big mouth.” Patrick smirked.

“It’s fine. I’m just going to refill these cups, since their contents are all over my clothes. She looked at his shirt and nodded.

“Alright. You know, if you think you can handle it, I’ll tell you about it. Everything. I mean, I think I’m ready.” She just breathed steadily, hoping he would take up her offer. It was a big deal to her; letting him know about her past. She didn’t want anymore secrets between them. Well, she knows some may never come out into the open unless she brings them out. But of course she’s talking about Patrick’s secrets and she doesn’t ever want to resort to that.

Patrick smiled. “Yah. That would be really good. We need to talk about some stuff…” He looked down at the cups in his hands.

“When I get back, we’ll talk. About everything.” He turned and walked down the hall. She sat there on the bed hoping he was talking about what she wanted to hear. She wanted him to admit everything about Anna. She wanted to hear him say the truth. She wanted it to all come out of his mouth, and not through the grapevine.

A few moments later Patrick walked in with 2 new steaming cups of coffee. Jazie smiled.

“There is a god.” Patrick chuckled and handed her a mug.

“I’m gonna warn you, it might not be the best coffee. I don’t spend much time making it on the road. I’m used to buying it in a Starbucks cup.

She smirked and shook her head after taking a few long sips. “No, it’s good; just how I like it.” She continued to sip and Patrick stared at her.

“You drink your coffee black…?”

She looked up at him and nodded. “Yauh…” One of Patrick’s eyebrows rose slightly.

“Hmm… I always thought you were a frappaccino girl.”

“Well Patrick. From my experience, it doesn’t seem like you “think” very often. So when you do, it’s never that good of a thing.” She looked up and smirked for a second and then went back to her drink, staring down into the cup.

Patrick gasped dramatically and clutched his hand over his heart. “You cut my deal woman. You really know how to hit a man below the belt.”

Without skipping a beat, Jazie replied. “Years of experience.”

Patrick stared at her for a moment, thinking about what he overheard her telling Pete that night. He wished she had told him all that first. He always thought they were closer then that.

“So Jazie, there was something you wanted to talk about?” He walked over next to her on the bed, with a good amount of space in between, and drank from his cup.

She glanced up from her cup and into his eyes. She was afraid this moment would come, but she brought it all up. She started this. Might as well finish it.

She sighed. “Yah. Well, my home life is a little more then complicated. And this stuff is really hard for me to talk about…with anyone. So if I get all choked up or teary eyed or something, just be patient. I’ll tell you everything. I promise. I don’t want all this mystery between us, yah know? No more secrets.” She put her cup down on the floor and grabbed one of Patrick’s hands. He smiles weakly and reassures her with a stroke of his thumb across her palm.

“Go ahead baby.”

Maybe I’m getting in too deep here. It was one thing when she was saying it to someone else. Now she’s going to say all this heavy shit right to my face. We’re sitting eye to eye. I don’t want to break down if she starts to cry. I don’t know how much I can handle.

“Well, my dad…he used to abuse me.” Patrick tried to act surprised, but even his acting really couldn’t cover up how bad he felt for her.

“Oh my god. How…how long?” She looked off into the distance, as if to count the years in her head.

“As long as I can remember. I mean…yah. He had a very short fuse. And the whiskey never really helped much.” She chuckled sarcastically and rubbed her head to rid it of the memories replaying in her mind.

Patrick just continued to rub her hand and tried to sooth her shaky voice.

She looked up at him for the sign to continue. He smiled, and she knew it would be alright. Her insecurities just melted away. She felt more open then she ever did. Just that little smile of his did it all. It make her bended knees go weak. At that moment, she would have told him anything he wanted to hear.

But she continued after one long deep breath.

“I mean...whats to tell? My dad was an abusive asshole. My mom neglected me when I needed her the most. Sarah was all I had. I was safe at school. But even at Sarah’s house I wasn’t always protected. My guitar and my music was all that could keep me from wanting to kill myself at times. I thought I’d never get away. Some days were worse then others. Sometimes I never even saw them. My mom was always locked up in their room, at a bar, or passed out on the couch in front of the tv,” she looked off into the distance of the room and glares at a wall unintentionally.

“…I fucking hate them…They ruined my childhood. I always had to wear long sleeve shirts. I was always looking around my shoulder and expecting a fist coming at my face. I was always twitchy around strangers. I…I was afraid of trying to start a relationship, with anyone,”

She looked up at Patrick with a sad face. She quickly looked back down at her hands.

“It’s really, really hard for me to trust guys. I can’t explain it. I just expect everyone to hit me. Eventually anyway. Maybe not in the beginning. They may be the perfect guy. They may be sweet and charming and get along with all my friends, but one day, I’ll piss them off or make them jealous or upset them and they’ll just turn into my dad. They always do. I tend to go for the abusive assholes. No clue why.” She looked back up at Patrick, hoping he didn’t take any of this the wrong way.

Patrick’s face went from sympathetic to very serious. He started with a stern voice, “Jazie. I will never lay a hand on you. I will never hit you. I swear on my life. I will never hurt you. I promise.” He picked up her hands and kissed each of them. Then he moved closer and brought her into a hug. The minute her arms wrapped around his back, she couldn’t control the tears anymore. She started to sob into his shoulder. She gripped his t-shirt into fists and pulled him closer.

“Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me.” She just kept repeating over and over again.

“Never baby. Never.” He whispered into her ear.

As he said this, he thought back to those heated nights with Anna. All the sensual looks and touches, all the promises she made to him way back when. All the promises she broke as their relationship wore on. He thought about the days on tour when he was alone and his mind wandered to where Jazie was and who she was with and in a state of nerves, would call up Anna and ask her to meet him at a hotel.

He felt like a dirty worthless bastard the whole time but he would never admit to Anna that he was seeing someone else, or admit to himself how bad it would hurt Jazie if she ever figured it all out. He tried to ignore all the nagging thoughts that would wake him up at night, with Anna sleeping soundly at his side.

He was ripped from his thoughts when he realized that Jazie was quiet now and he looked down at her.

“Jazie, baby are you alright?” She sniffled in reply.

“Yah. I…I just need to get a drink of water or something.” She stood up and took their coffee into the kitchen and got herself some water. While she was in the kitchen washing out the coffee mugs, Patrick thought about what Jazie had said earlier.

Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me.

Patrick thought if he told her the truth, it would be impossible.

I can’t tell her now. Not now. Later though. I don’t know when. Tomorrow, next week, next month. When the time is right, I will tell her. Anna and I are over anyway. There’s nothing left between us. I am going to tell Anna that I can’t let her mess with me anymore. My heart is for one person only. I need to tell her about Jazie. Its over.

Jazie came back in with a new cup and a smile.

“Hey, I’m really sorry I just dumped all that shit on you like that. I just want you to know what made me…who I am. Yah know?” Patrick nodded with a smile.

“I totally get it. I’m glad you finally told me everything. I’m sorry baby…about everything.”

She smirked. “It’s alright. I’m getting over it. They moved. I don’t know where. But my brother called me during spring break and said he knew where they were. He won’t tell me anything else. So their out there, somewhere. But I think they’re done here. They got rid of me. Why would they bother with me now?”

Patrick gave her a confused look. “You have a brother?” Jazie nodded.

She giggled. “I for got, I never told you about him. Well, he’s a whole different story. You see, when we were both little kids, my dad would not hit me as much, or touch me as much because he had my brother to do that to. But when he got to be about 15, he just packed up in his car and hit the road, leaving me to pick up the slack kind of. So then I got the full force of my dad’s beatings and stuff.”

“And stuff…like what? You just said he…he touched you?” Patrick struggled to say what he wanted to ask. He didn’t want to have to think about someone hurting Jazie that way, or any way for that matter.

She shrugged. “Yah, he used to touch me more when I was little. When I didn’t know what it all meant. Maybe he was just more into little kids. I don’t know. He stopped touching me when I was about 13. Then he just tried to rape me. But I fought back, and he stopped eventually. I never let him. I wasn’t giving in on that. I was always too scared to fight back, but that was where I had to do something.”

Patrick immediately got angry. Jazie was his. She was more important to him then anything. Just thinking about someone forcing themselves on her made him furious. If Jazie’s dad was right in front of him at that moment, he would have killed him or died trying.

“Jazie, if I had known, you know when you still lived there…god. I don’t know what I would have done to him. His hands started to clench into fists.

Jazie looked down and grabbed one hand, caressing it with hers. This relaxed him a little.

“Baby, it’s over. That was a long time ago. He’s gone. Don’t live in the past and all that junk.” She smiled and bumped him playfully. He smirked and looked at Jazie with saddened eyes.

“Baby, I will protect you. You know that right? No one will ever hurt you when I’m around. Remember that.” She nodded.

“I know Patrick.” She scooted toward him and caressed his cheek. She moved in and kissed him sweetly. Patrick gave a quick smirk and grabbed her face gently, pulling her in for a more passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms over his shoulders and one of Patrick's hands snaked around her waist. Hiss mouth moved from her lips over to her neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin. Hearing Jazie release that quiet moan made it all worth while for him.

Jazie removed his hat and ran her fingers through his hair. Patrick slowly took of Jazie’s jacket, then slipped her shirt off. She smiled bashfully and pushed him down onto the bed. Jazie bunched up Patrick’s shirt and pulled it over his head. He rolled over on top of her on the bed. His mouth went crazy for her warm smooth skin, moving all over her stomach and neck, going back up to her mouth and slipping his tongue in as she parted her lips. A muffled moan came through his mouth as Jazie’s hands roamed Patrick’s back and stomach.

Patricks calloused fingers moved their way down her stomach. He started unzipping her jeans cautiously and slowly Jazie started to pull away.

“What's wrong?” Patrick asked in between heavy breaths.

“I’m…I’m just not ready. I’m ok with the kissing and everything but,” she waved her hand around the room.

“This...it's too much. I’m sorry…Can we wait? Can you wait for me?”

Patrick smiled weakly. “Yah, of course. I can wait for as long as you need. I’m sorry if I was rushing into this. I didn’t mean to…I.”

Jazie cut him off with a kiss.

“You weren’t rushing anything. I was acting the same as you, if not worse." She giggled and blushed mildly. Patrick smirked at seeing her trying to cover it up.

Jazie continued,"You just get into that moment…yah know? There was alot of unspoken tention between us. All the passion was bound to make us do something, eventually.” She smirked as she put her shirt on and zipped up her pants. She yawned loudly and looked over at the clock on his dresser.

“Wow, I’m really kind of tired…” She rubbed her eyes and sat back down on the bed.

“Can I stay here tonight? I do not want to walk in on anything Sarah and Joe are doing.” She laughed at the thought.

“Yah, Of course. Here...I can get you a t-shirt and shorts or something. Is that alright?” She nodded. He got up and walked over to a dresser and threw her some boxers and a huge Chicago Bears t-shirt.

“Cute boxers.” She held up the smiley-face clad shorts and laughed as Patrick just shrugged casually.

She went into the master bathroom and changed into the clothes he gave her. She walked out and let her hair down from her pony tail, completing the whole “hot tired girlfriend” look Patrick was going for. He sucked in a breath at how damned sexy she looked in his big baggy clothes.

“Can I sleep in here?” She asked snuggled under the covers before he even gave her an answer.


“Like I’d ever say no.” He chuckled and took his jeans and socks off, then his t-shirt. He walked out of the room for a minute and came back after turning all the lights off in the apartment and locking the door. He turned off the light in the room and crawled in close to Jazie.

He wrapped his arm around her waist and she snuggled her back into him. He burrowed his face into her neck and smelt her hair.

She giggled quietly. “Are you smelling my hair?” Patrick smirked and kissed her neck.

“You smell good, what can I say?”

She giggled again and snuggled back against Patrick.

“You feel really good.” She mumbled as she slowly fell deeper into sleep.

Patrick smirked and sighed, hoping tomorrow everything would be better. Hoping everything would work out.