FicWad

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THEM! They're owned by Kubo Tite and blah blah blah, you know the rest. No self-respecting mangaka would subject their creations to torture of this level. It's simply not done.

Warnings: Humour, yaoi, mental anguish of the Abarai variety, minor mentions of canon-esque happenings. Will not follow traditional, canon Bleach timeline.

Notes: Special thanks to my brother for suggesting Renji's place of employment. This one shot, and it will be a one shot this time, no exceptions, was inspired by the recent OP for the Bleach filler, showing the Gotei 13 members in living world style clothing. I wanted to suggest each of their respective job descriptions and situations. I will start with Renji and go through with the following as well, though not in this order: Byakuya, Hitsugaya, Ukitake, Ichimaru and my sacred little shinigami luff, Shiba Kaien. Keep in mind that none of these will follow canon to the strictest of degrees.

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Under the disapproving glare of his lover, Renji forged ahead with his appointed task, grumbling throughout the lengthy process. Had the man across from him been anyone else, the redhead would have scoffed in his face and walked away from the challenge. As it was, it seemed the esteemed Kuchiki heir had more sway over his life than the young fukutaichou had initially thought.

"Previous occupation? What the hell?"

Red eyes squinted to read the paper a second time and confused, he lifted his head to give a befuddled look to his lover.

"Naa, Byakuya. What's my previous occupation?"

Shuffling the proper sixth division paperwork together so the pile was again impeccable, the kenseikan-wearing nobleman sighed softly.
"You would have to put unemployed, would you not? You've never held a job in the living world before."

"Aa, I guess you're right."

He lowered his head and wrote the proffered word down, looking to the next question and openly snorting at its idiocy.

"'If a customer comes to you with a problem, what should you do?'" Smartly, Renji wrote the answer in and gave a commentary on it so that his lover would know what he was putting down. "'Tell the stupid bastard to get lost and to not waste my time with their bullshit.'"

An exasperated sigh caused the redhead to chuckle as he finished the rest of the questions and handed the paper back to his captain, smirking proudly.

"Piece of cake. I can fuckin' handle this."

------------------

Beyond reason and responsibility, the slightly balding owner of the downtown Karakura nightclub accepted Renji's job application and through Urahara, arranged a meeting with the pony-tailed shinigami. The instructions on clothing and demeanor were followed to the T and with a smile of self-satisfaction; Kisuke unveiled the mirror for Renji to peer into, his casually dressed gigai staring back at him.

The blond shop owner had set up a clothing style that was borderline lewd, the bronzed skin of Renji's chest peeking through the tightly woven mesh undershirt, his nipples thankfully covered by a vest of a dark red material, almost a burgundy, its surface shimmering as if embroidered with jewels. The fukutaichou's pants were plain black denim, cut low to show off his belly button, though the mesh covered right to the waistline. The swordsman's hair was kept back in its usual tail but instead of his white headband, he had on a bandanna, folded to cover his forehead, in a shade that matched his vest.

The outfit, while striking, was quite revealing, the redhead's frontal tattoos showing through the thin netting, as well as those on his forehead, peeking out from under and from over the tied cloth. Smirking at himself in the mirror, Renji nodded his approval to Urahara, who then presented him with a thick-soled pair of oxblood cowboy boots. Style completed, the snarky young shinigami walked out into the open area of the shop to show off to his lover, the dark haired captain only rolling his eyes and snorting towards the banished taichou who appeared in the rear doorway.

"Nude, he would have been less obvious, Kisuke."

The hat toting former shinigami smiled sneakily and bowed, offering a tiny chuckle. "The goal wasn't to make him invisible, Kuchiki-san. He fits in with the crowd that frequents his place of employment."

"Hmm. Just assure me that he'll be safely employed there, not just being placed there as an item to be gawked at."

Urahara waved his hand noncommittally and again gave a small bow. "He'll be fine, Kuchiki-san. Trust me."

"Yeah, trust him, Byakuya. I wanna go out in this. It's so different than what I normally get to wear."

The elder man sighed and turned his back, heading to the small door, which led directly to Soul Society from the Urahara Shoten. "I'll be back in a week." He gave a pointed look to his lover. "Behave yourself, Renji. No accidents."

Lifting his hand in a mock salute, the redhead smiled and nodded. "Hai, taichou!"

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"...and then when they come in the door, just nod to them. Don't start up a conversation, 'specially not on Fridays. It gets fuckin' busy then and the people'll get mighty pissed off if they have to wait to get in."

Renji nodded eagerly to the ugly, somewhat greasy man in front of him, memorizing each little bit of information the club owner gave him.
"Since you've never done this before, I'll tell ya something. Working a nightclub's exciting, if ya don't try to be a wise guy and start shit just for the hell of it. You get me?"

He eyed the tall redhead and chuckled gratingly after the shinigami nodded.

"You're a quiet kid anyway, huh? That's good. The customers want to see hired muscle hanging around in case shit goes down. They don't wanna see them chatting up the ladies and ignoring their duties."

"Oh, well you won't have to worry about that, boss. I'm not exactly a ladies man."

The plump human turned and gave Renji a weird look, squinting slightly as if trying to decipher what he had just said.
"Not a ladies man? What are ya then? Calm gentleman? Fuckin' Casanova?"

The tattooed swordsman shook his head with a bit of a smile. "Something like that."

Clapping the boy on the back, the elder man laughed out loud, guffawing noisily as he walked the redhead to the bar and offered him a drink.
"You're better lookin' than the last brat I had workin' for me. He was a scrawny little bastard. Couldn't hold his own in a fight worth shit."

Immediately, Renji came to like the man, his thug-like attitude and general dislike of people appealing to his former eleventh squad tendencies.

"I'm no pushover, boss. I can hold my own in a goddamn fight."

Lifting his beer and clanking it against Renji's, the club owner nodded his head in agreement.

"Good man. You're gonna need that attitude come Friday."

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Six days passed and through a haze of cigarette smoke and crude language, Renji found a world he thought he would never see again after leaving the eleventh division.

Despite being a night club for the trendiest of club goers on weekends, during the week it was a slum of drunks and alcoholics, most of them men and all of them resembling people the redhead had dealt with before. Most notably, his former captain, one Zaraki Kenpachi.

He was seated at the door for most of the morning and afternoon, greeting the customers with a brief hello and only stepping down from the high stool when he saw a particularly dangerous looking individual, giving him a light pat down as his boss had instructed. In three days, he had found two large hunting knives and four guns, the latter of which he found exceptionally interesting. Guns, however lengthy in their creation, didn't exist in Soul Society.

"Oi, Renji!" The owner called from the bar. "Come over here for a sec!"

The fukutaichou nodded and shuffled himself past tables of empty bottles and spilled liquor to lean on the heavily polished bar, nodding politely to a customer who weaved dangerously close to being flat out drunk.

"What's up?"

"I need you to escort this man out. He's too far gone, plus he has no more money left and because of my insurance policy, I can't let him stay if he's not gonna buy anymore booze. He's a hazard, ya know?"

"Hai. No worries." He stepped back and waited as the inebriated customer stepped down from his stool and promptly toppled, immediately being caught under the arms by the strong vice captain, Renji giving a light grunt as the man's weight strained his back. Obviously unable to stand and partially unconscious from his drunk state, the man could hardly argue as Renji dragged him out the front door and propped him against the wall, waiting patiently for the owner to call him a cab.

"S'not what I thought'd happen tonight..." The drunk mumbled, punctuating the sentence with a loud, grossly unneeded burp.

"Jeez, buddy. Leave some for the fish next time, huh? You're fuckin' wasted." The pony-tailed bouncer in training commented. "Worse'n Ikakku after a long day of fighting."

The yellow taxi pulled up to the curb and with some effort, Renji piled him in and nodded to the driver, who already knew the address to deliver his charge to, having recognized the drunk right away.

"Thanks. You're Taka's new kid, eh? Nice work. He usually brings the guys out himself because that other bouncer of his was totally useless."

"Yeah, he said as much."

The young fukutaichou backed away from the car and headed back inside as it merged with traffic, giving a small look around the street before ducking in, returning to his post after nodding to the owner. Beside him on the small table he used to prop his elbow on during slow times, sat a cold beer on a damp coaster. He smiled and picked it up, giving a short wave to the elder man.

Hours later, when the sun had been down for ages and the last customer was poured into a cab and sent off, Renji and his employer gave the place a once over and locked up, Takahiro-san walking to his car while the redhead started off on his short walk to the Urahara Shoten. He had been offered a ride every night that week and even though the summer night's had gotten cooler, his wardrobe had been added to by the blond shop owner, now including heavy sweaters and a dark windbreaker he was particularly fond of. Car's, in Renji's mind, were a death trap. Walking, or even running, were his favourite mode of transportation and would always remain thus.

He arrived at the former shinigami's store just after three in the morning and slipped in unnoticed, staying in his gigai as he showered and did the rest of his tedious cleaning ritual, crawling into his bed less than a half hour later and immediately falling asleep, ignorant of the pair of dark eyes that watched him from the window.

Byakuya shook his head slightly and hopped down to go back home, having only appeared to check on his lover, as he had done every night that week, still going unnoticed by the loudmouthed fukutaichou. He must have really been tired, to have forgotten to check for intruders, as he did every night in Soul Society. Managing a tiny smile as he listened to the other snore loudly, the regal Kuchiki headed back to his own plush bed, inwardly laughing at Urahara's plight of having to listen to the redhead's snoring.

He, himself on the other hand, had been sleeping extremely well without the benefit of Renji's sawed log symphony.

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"Shove it up your ass!"

The receiver of the nasty insult bade a hasty retreat out of the club as Renji brandished a baton given to him by his boss. The man had insisted that the redhead would need it on Friday nights but he had doubted it right up until a rather large man had to be kicked out and had refused. He had taken two swings at the vice captain and gained himself a punch in the gut and a bleeding goose egg from the blunt end of the baton. Three tables, all filled with good-looking singles, cheered him on and even ordered a round of drinks for the young bouncer. He had politely declined, as he was told to. What kind of work could he do while drunk?

One especially beautiful single at the closest table reached his hand out just before midnight and groped the shinigami openly, winking mischievously when he got a surprised glare from the tall redhead.

"Naa, Renji. Why dontcha sit down here with us? It's quiet now and you look like you could use a drink."

The now blushing swordsman shook his head, too worried about losing his bet with Byakuya. He could hold the job down for a week. He could.

"Nah. Takahiro-san says I can't while it's so packed. What'd happen if a fight broke out and I was too shitfaced to know better?"

The young blond customer laughed quietly and waved him off, knowing that despite his inclination towards badgering the lovely bouncer into a drink or five, he would lose to the man's sensibilities. He had been there long enough that night to know when an argument was hardly worth starting.

"Hai, hai. Go back to your stool then. I think I'm gonna head out now anyway. It's fuckin' late."

Cheekily, Renji reached down and picked up the man's beer bottle, barely an inch of the amber liquid left in the bottom, and polished it off, slamming the now empty item back down.

"Happy?"

Another grope. "Now I am."

"Wise ass."

He got a wink and a rather rude gesture from the other man's tongue and he blushed a bit more, turning away and flipping him off as he had seen so many of the customers do, figuring it to be the ultimate insult, as it had started more than a few fights over the past few days.

It was his last night and though he was loathe to give it up now that he had been accepted by the owner and his patrons, the redhead knew that it would have to end sometime. He sighed and propped his feet up on the chair rungs, crossing his arms over his chest. The sounds of thick bass beat pumped through his body and he caught himself nodding along to it, smiling at himself as he found a music style he liked. After days of slow rhythm and blues tracks coming from the rather beat up jukebox, now there was a live DJ with a heavy hand, allowing the music to thump as loudly as it wanted.

Again, the night ended and Renji stayed even later to help with the massive mess, beer bottles and other litter covering the floor, changing the normally clean but inheritantly slummy space into a sty. Takahiro thanked him when he left and handed him an envelope just before getting into his car, smiling more warmly than the shinigami had ever seen, his face usually pulled into a scowl of some sort.

"Ya did good, kid. The guy I set up the interview said you were heading back home after a week, but if you wanna keep on with me when ya get back, feel free to gimme a call, ok?"

Renji nodded and gave a slight bow before tearing off in the direction of home, clacking the pavement in his boots. He'd be in bed late but it was worth it. He actually felt good about having a job. What made humans hate them so much? He got to meet new people. He got fresh air, when the door opened anyway. He wasn't even expected to be on his feet.

"Tch. They've got it made..."

-----------------------

Renji thought the Urahara Shoten would be quiet by this time of night and stepped lightly into the building, avoiding the front of the shop and heading directly for the living quarters at the back, this time not as tired as he had been the previous nights, a smile on his face despite the hour.

In his hand he held the envelope Takahiro-san had given him, his name written messily across the front. He set it down on the small table in his room and undressed, forgoing a bath because he hadn’t truly gotten very dirty during the night, only bothering to wash his hair in the bathroom sink due to its accumulated cigarette smell. Scented now in whatever the blond shopkeeper used as soap, uncertain as to what the liquid actually was but enjoying the way it lathered, Renji slid into bed with a sigh, remaining naked as the cool sheets felt good against his slightly flushed skin.

Again, he neglected to look around the room before bed and was startled by rustling in the window behind him, his head tipped back to stare at the form of his lover sitting neatly in the sill, the captain’s form upside down but just as lovely as ever. The redhead rolled onto his side and propped himself up onto an elbow, smiling crookedly and speaking quietly.

“You’re early, Byakuya. I have until daybreak to come home.”

“I’m only here to see that you came back to the store safely.”

The young fukutaichou scoffed quietly and rolled onto his back again, stretching his arms over his head and still watching the elder man, smiling a smug little smile when the nobleman slid off of the sill, undressed and lifted the bed sheets to slide under as well. Renji just smiled and spread his legs as the loving taichou found his way between them, leaning down to nuzzle across the gigai’d shinigami’s chest.

“I’ve missed you this past week, Renji. I’ve been able to sleep because of the quiet but I was unable to satisfy myself without you.”

The younger man blinked somewhat before winding his arms around the other’s shoulders and pulling him up for a kiss, moaning into it loudly enough to be heard but not outside of the room, Byakuya immediately noticing the taste of alcohol on the redhead, however faint it may be.

He pulled away and savoured the breathless look on his subordinate’s face before attacking his neck with light nibbles, eagerly sliding one hand down to fondle the redhead, earning himself another moan while he smiled at how easily the gigai form could be aroused. Renji on the other hand, hadn’t had the chance to work the body as he would have done to his own and red eyes opened wide as he breathed heavily, a light blush colouring his cheeks.

“Fuck, that was fast…”

“Mmm, indeed. I think I may come to enjoy you in a gigai, Renji.”

A matching feral smile appeared on the younger shinigami’s face before he ground his hips upwards against his lover’s, causing the elder man to moan as well, a shiver starting at the base of Renji’s spine and coasting up to his shoulders from the sound.

“Does that mean you’re gonna fuck me, Byakuya? Because I could really use it after such a long week without.”

His answer was a light growl as the Kuchiki heir sat back on his knees and then got to his feet, padding to the bathroom and fetching the cold cream Renji had neglected to use on his face, something the redhead normally used religiously to prevent himself from breaking out. It was a special blend of ingredients that was made in the depths of Rukongai and despite the offer of properly made creams from Matsumoto-fukutaichou and her stash of human make-up, Renji still preferred the flowery scented stuff from the slums.

When he returned, Renji was on all fours with his head and chest down on the pillows, busily stroking himself and rocking gently as he moaned, his head turned to be seen just as the dark haired captain stepped in. Quick strides brought Byakuya to the boy’s behind and he kneeled against it with a grunt, squeezing the right cheek firmly before slipping the arm under the other’s belly and making him sit back up to a more level position.

Complying wordlessly, Renji nudged back against his lover with a breathy moan and when he heard the flick of the lotion’s cap he started to stroke himself a bit faster, eager to be fucked by the regal captain and somewhat impatient about how things were progressing. The feel of cool fingers against his hole kept him quiet and he parted his legs a bit further, biting his bottom lip as he fought the urge to moan out loud. There was no need to wake the shop owner or his staff with his slutty sounds, now was there?

“Gods, Byakuya. Move faster. I’m gonna fucking stain the sheets as it is.”

“Patience, Renji. I’m in the mood to savour this.”

“But, I really need yo-…mmmm right there. Fuck yeah…”

The sixth division captain smirked and continued with his mind numbing assault, leaning to the side to set the lotion down and with a practiced hand, slid his fingers from the boy, gave himself a light stroke to coat his arousal and with one hand holding himself in place and the other on Renji’s hip, he plunged into the tight depths, suppressing a groan as he was gripped so exquisitely.

The hotheaded fukutaichou however, moaned loudly but was muffled by the pillows he had again lowered himself to, his right hand still working his cock while the left curled around the fluffy objects, his position giving the most satisfaction and stimulation, allowing his lover to thrust in deeply and take him as hard as he deemed fit.
Which this night, seemed hard enough to make the redhead whimper slightly, the slap of skin against skin unmistakable, even outside the screened bedroom. Deep in his mind, Byakuya could feel the suppressed reiatsu of Urahara, as well as Tessai, the blond’s still in its dormant state however, suggesting that he was still asleep. He knew that the polite Tessai wouldn’t interfere. It was Kisuke he worried about.

Leaning forward, Byakuya draped himself over Renji’s back and kissed between his shoulder blades as he took him languorously, snapping his hips right at the end of each slow thrust and slipping his right hand down to help in the redhead’s mission, waiting a brief second as the other removed his own hand and allowed the captain to do it for him, keeping his balance with the now freed arm.

It was hardly the vicious undertaking Renji has expected but it was still delicious, his body rocking back to meet each forward movement from the other and his moans grew steadily louder, forcing Byakuya to muffle him with a hand over his mouth.
The length of time both men had to go without sexual consummation took its toll as the younger shinigami sucked in a deep breath and shuddered suddenly, releasing onto the clean sheets below, his lover’s actions gaining speed as he let the warmly pulsing member go and sat back on his knees, now with both hands on the tattooed swordsman’s hips. He took him violently, viciously, acting strangely out of character but it was hardly questioned by the plundered vice captain.

Silently, the elder man came, holding still as he let his body finish itself off, enjoying the feel of the wet heat that surrounded his cock as he filled the younger man with his seed, wincing a bit before pulling out and again moving to the bathroom, the sound of running water following right after.
Renji stayed in the position he had held for so long, somewhat loathe to lie down on the soiled sheets and waiting patiently for his lover to return with the inevitable washcloth. Right on time, the dark haired captain came back and lovingly cleaned the boy up, shooing him off of the sheets and pulling over the heavy top blanket for them to snuggle beneath.

The washcloth was left in the linen pile and with a heavy sigh and a light kiss to Renji’s forehead, the regal Kuchiki got under the blanket and wrapped his arms around the redhead’s waist, intent on sleep for the remainder of the night.

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That morning, just after the sun rose, Renji’s eyes peeked open and he yawned through a languid stretch, looking to the bedroom door where he caught his lover returning from the hall, the captain fully dressed and looking as immaculate as ever. In his hands he held a cup of tea and the envelope Takahiro-san had given Renji the night before, its flap open as if it had already been peered into.

“Oi, what’s in there?”

The dark haired shinigami handed it down to his fukutaichou and sat beside him before handing him the tea as well, watching with a tiny smile as the redhead struggled with both items, eager to see the envelope’s contents and just as eager to drink the sweet smelling concoction.
Once sipping the tea and setting it back down, he managed to pull the thick stack of items out and peered at them, recognizing it as the living world’s currency. There was just over seven hundred dollars inside, so a weeks worth of pay. Renji smiled and slid away from his lover to stand.

“I can’t take this with me, can I? It’s not the same as our money.”

“You can exchange it with Urahara for Soul Society currency.”

“Perfect! And I know just where I’m gonna spend it too.”

Ignoring the need to get dressed, Renji left the room and walked to the main sitting room where he apprehended the shopkeeper and exchanged the money amidst exclamations about his good work ethic and how late he had come home each night. Fighting the urge to yell at the blond and tell him that his schedule was unavoidable, Renji picked up the exchanged monies and went back to his room, ignoring the childish titters from the children as he looked down suddenly and remembered that he was naked.

Back with his lover, Renji switched into soul form and left the gigai where it lay, knowing that the former shinigami would inspect it and modify it for the next user anyway, his belongings picked up and hefted onto his shoulders for the trip back home.

“Well, I’m ready. I’ve got some spending to do.”

Byakuya blinked and followed him towards the western gate, trying to imagine what the young vice captain could possibly spend over seven hundred human dollars on in Soul Society.

“What exactly are you going to do with that amount of money, Renji?”

The redhead turned to the elder man and smirked deviously, stepping into the brightly lit gate.

“I’m gonna go home first, drop this shit off, then head to the tavern.”

“You’re going to…the tavern?”

“Yup. I just spent seven fucking days in a bar and wasn’t allowed to get shitfaced even once. That’s a disgrace.” He grinned cutely, trying to soothe his lover’s obviously confused state. “’Sides, I deserve to celebrate. I won the challenge.”

“Hmm. I suppose you did.”

“What did you say I’d get if I won?”

The formal Kuchiki blinked suddenly, unsure of how to answer.
“We never agreed upon anything because I was certain that you wouldn’t complete the mission.”

“Maa, you’ve got no faith in me.”

“I’ll think of something. Or you can suggest something that will have to be approved by me.”

“Approved?” The redhead yelled, stepping out into Seireitei’s downtown. “Fuck that.”

“I’m serious, Renji. I’m not going to allow you to be captain, or anything as equally ludicrous.”

The younger shinigami slinked closer and whispered in the shorter man’s ear, giving the lobe a tiny lick before walking off in the direction of his own home.

“I think I’m gonna enjoy thinking of something. Clear your calendar, taichou. You’re gonna need some time off…”