Categories > Original > Drama > Ivory
Dreaming that I'm Free
0 reviewsIke performs to prove his good enough, and meets an oddly tempermental drag Queen named "Ciel".
0Unrated
IVORY A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. I had a bit of a problem with the second scene. Hope its ok for now. Though you know how introductions go, this is still an introductory thing. The story gets more intense soon, so be sure to keep reading and reviewing!
Disclaimer: The song "House of Broken Love" Belongs to Great White, and not me.
Reader Response:
WhinnieRichards: Thank you! I like doing things that are apart from the rest. I appreciate you saying that. I intend to continue, and I hope you enjoy!
Semme: Ah, you again?! No, just kidding. I missed you! It may have been a lie that you said all that, but I don't care, In my imaginary fantasy world of bonking bishies, it's all truth! AHAHA!
Tyty: Here, you have more. What's your account name though? I tried looking you up, lol, but I shot a blank. :{}
Alisha Steele: I'm glad it's lovely. Does that mean I'm lovely? Probably not, but I'll claim it's so anyway!
Mystic: YES! Turned! That's why I'm so evil... Well I haven't been evil yet, but just you wait! I'll be the evilest turner in the whole ... turned... world. I dunno, I just lost myself.
/IVORY/
Chapter Two
Dreaming That I'm Free
The man wasn't surprised by my request. Not nearly as surprised as I was. It was almost as if he had expected it. He looked me over carefully before nodding at the stage. "If you wish to be one of them, you'll have to audition. Since there's some time right now, if it's convenient, you can go up there and show me why I should hire you."
"Now?"
"Oui."
Well, if that was how it would be, there wasn't much that could be done about it. I obediently walked through the small sea of tables and climbed on stage, facing the bald man, unsure of what to do. What did drag queens do to get hired? Most of the ones I've ever seen didn't dance or sing. They just made sarcastic remarks and lip-synced. Then again, this was cabaret, so maybe the standards were higher.
The man took a seat near the front, and pulled out a pen and a small pad of paper. "Tell me your name, and how old you are."
"My name? Ike Cohen." I felt even more nervous when a couple of the performers peeked out from backstage, and began to whisper amongst themselves. There were a few giggles and quips. "I... I'm 21."
"Ok. Ike Cohen... That is a cute name, but I'm not so sure it would flow on stage. Do you have a stage name?"
Stage name? Well in the split second when my mouth made the decision to do this without me, I guess I hadn't planned out all the details, silly me. I scanned my head for any possible drag queen title that wasn't too cliché. I didn't know what to say. Whatever I decided, if indeed this job was given to me, the name would be with me for how long?
"Ivory."
I looked up in shock, seeing that the man looked just as confused. As my blue eyes nervously scanned the room, I saw him. Near the front door was Eddie Lonneherr, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. How did he find me there? Immediately panicked thoughts raced through my mind. My heart stopped as I was sure he would tell and I would be doomed. If my father knew I was auditioning to be a drag queen... there would be no survivors.
He didn't look drunk at all. If anything, he just looked annoyed. That didn't really say much though, because if you ask me, he always looked annoyed. When he moved away from the wall and strolled casually toward the bald man, he spoke again. "I think Ivory would be a fitting stage name for this Cherry boy, don't you think, Denis?"
"Ah, Monsieur Lonneherr." The bald man smiled and waved to a chair for Eddie to sit in. "It will be good to have more of an audience for his audition, this way he will get used to being on display. So, Ike, can you dance or sing?"
"Um... Well I don't know how to dance, but... I could try to sing. I had a good role in a musical once when I was in high school." As if this whole thing wasn't crazy making enough. Now I had my best friend's older brother watching, and calling me names I didn't even understand. What the hell did 'Cherry boy' mean? Was he making fun of my hair or something?
The man, apparently named Denis, nodded, and scribbled something down on the paper. "Alright, go ahead and sing something for us."
Without music? I felt like I was on one of those silly reality overnight fame shows. But I wanted this so bad for myself. So, after taking a moment to push my pride aside, I cleared my throat and searched the database of my anime and videogame littered brain for a decent song. All I could think of was a particular 80's rock band. A kind of bluesy song...
"Come the mornin' don't ya wake me
I'll be dreamin' that I'm free
Come the daybreak don't ya shake me
Send me back to misery."
Perhaps a bluesy song wasn't the right choice when dealing with Cabaret, but I didn't know any other songs that would be appropriate. I didn't know anything about gay cabaret; I just knew I wanted it. As I sang, I watched Eddie for any reaction. If it was bad, surely he would give some sort of sign, or maybe not? Who could tell with him? Neither of them looked horrified, so I continued.
"Cause I'm dealin' with a devil
Ain't no help from above
I'm stealin' with the devil
Through this house of broken love."
That wasn't even near the end of the song, but it was a good enough ending point. There was really no need to humiliate myself further. One of the new arrivals that were there before me even applauded, but it was cut short when Denis raised a hand to silence them. He jotted down a couple things before looking up at me and assessing me quietly.
Denis leaned over and muttered something to Eddie before speaking to me. "You've got potential. I have enough queens without skills who just walk around the stage lipping off, but I think you could be unique. Your voice would be very good if you fixed your posture a bit, and you'll have to tame that hair of yours, but all that can be taken care of... You can come here either tomorrow at 10:00 p.m. or Sunday at 6, and we'll get you set up with someone who will help show you the strings."
"Uh..." I was speechless. I climbed off stage and approached the table. After a while my words returned to me. "... Thank... Thank you, sir. I will be here tomorrow! ... We gotta go, Eddie. Where's Mace?"
"I sent him home."
My eyes widened in disbelief and confusion. Even Denis looked a little surprise upon realizing we knew each other. Why would Eddie do that? Since when would Mace listen to Eddie and ditch his friend in the middle of the night in a strange area of the city? "No way. I don't believe you."
"I just told him you were out getting laid by lesbians... actually that's a lie; it was his idea for me to take you home. He ran into a few friends from University and decided to walk." Eddie got up and started toward the door. "He said something about you being afraid of me, and how it would serve you right for wandering off to have to be driven home by me."
"That bastard! Wait a god damn minute here, pal. You were at a bar. I ain't gonna let you drive me anywhere." I followed him, waving a goodbye to Denis as I went out the door. "Give me your car keys, Eddie."
"Not until you show me your license."
Spending all my life in Montreal, I never really had the need to get a license. Why bother when there was public transportation and I had nowhere to go that the train, metro, or buses didn't go. Still, my dad had taught me how to drive when I was 14, so I did know. Hell, with all the times my dad was too drunk to drive, I had pretty well 6 years experience.
With a shy pout, my response was quiet. "Well I ain't getting in a car with a drunken idiot behind the wheel."
Eddie stopped and looked back at me. Even as steady as he appeared, he never did argue that he wasn't drunk. Perhaps he felt it more than he showed it, or maybe he just had a drink or two and was simply smart enough to know that could effect his driving. Whatever his reasoning, he nodded slowly in agreement and looked me over.
"What?" I furrowed my brows with annoyance, trying not to squirm self-consciously. As if his gaze didn't make me nervous enough...
"I'll walk you home then. It will excite Mace to no end to know we spared the environment this little fragment of pollution anyway." Eddie started in the other direction, hopefully toward our neighborhood, but I couldn't be sure. To be honest, I trusted him. As angry as he always looked, he didn't seem to care enough to ever try anything shady.
It took a moment of deep consideration. Not like I wanted to spend a night in that place. Mace would definitely get an earful in the morning. I stubbornly stayed at a few paces behind Eddie as I trudged along. Ok, so my behavior was a little childish, but could you blame me? After being humiliated in front of this guy, my feelings of resentment were only natural, right?
We went only a few blocks in silence when I finally decided to make the time go faster by starting conversation. Or rather, there were a few things that needed to be brought to attention. "Are you going to tell anyone?"
"Tell them what?"
"Please don't tell anyone where I was or what I was doing! My parents would disown me for sure!" I nearly fell at his feet, but made the decision to hold onto the little bit of dignity I had left.
Eddie, being the nonchalant prick that he was, simply said "Ok." But still he had more to say on a completely unrelated topic. "You have a beautiful smile."
"Um... Ok, maybe you are wasted after all."
"I'm serious." Eddie turned to look at me, his green eyes blazing into mine. "I've seen you smile with Mace, and other people... But you never smile when you know that I'm around. Are you really so afraid of me?"
My brows furrowed in frustrated confusion. "You're really the one to talk! I've -never- -ever- seen you smile! Never! How you can be a model without a smile is beyond me."
"... Let's go."
"Why do you keep changing the subject?" When he didn't answer, I sighed and made the decision not to push it. I followed again, in complete silence for another block as he led the way. By then we were out of le village, but it was still quite a walk home.
During the moments when I was sure he wasn't paying any attention to me, I tried to mimic the way he walked. He was so cool even though models had never interested me. My eyes were glued to his back. Regardless of whether we were walking or waiting at a crosswalk, he kept his gaze straight ahead, and unwavering. For once it wasn't arrogance that I saw. He was hiding something. In those moments he looked lonely in whatever it was he was hiding.
A man who was openly gay and a celebrity. A man who had been into and out of drugs and alcohol already; who had been involved in numerous things that had been made public... What could he possibly be hiding? He could have any man or woman he desired, so why would he be lonely?
"So..." I spoke again, letting my voice intrude upon the brooding silence. "You like my smile?"
"Yeah. But don't let it get to your head, kid."
--
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but nothing beyond that happened between Eddie and I that night. To be perfectly honest, nothing else really happened for a couple weeks. Eddie left town again to go to Toronto for a photo shoot. This time, it was just a short trip, so he would be back in a number of days, or so Mace had informed me, not that I really would have admitted to caring. Every weekend the men who worked at the "Cabaret Pasticcio" would teach me something new about their line of work. One of them even met with me sometimes during the week or early on the weekend while the cabaret was closed in order to help me along. He taught me how to breathe when I sang, and how to do makeup, and which products to use for my hair.
His name was Lachlan. An Australian just a little older than me. But he was much different than I was. His family deserted him, and he was living above a bar in a bad neighborhood on the verge of being evicted. Despite all his short-comings, he was always so cheerful and comedic. He had nothing but his dresses and makeup, and the few divas he called friends. Every time I tried to talk to him about it, he'd only smile and tell me, 'It doesn't matter how disheveled my life looks on the outside. On the inside, this is freedom, and I wouldn't want it any other way.'
It might have been inspiring, but his freedom frightened me. From where I stood, it looked so dark and cold and lonely. After hearing about him, I made an oath to myself, never to let anyone from my normal life to know what I was becoming. By all means necessary, I would avoid becoming him.
Whenever my parents asked me where it was that I was going every weekend, my excuse was a date with a girl. My dad was so happy by the news; he brought home a bag full of condoms for me. My dad was a coach at a high school, so he had access to a healthy supply of safe sex materials. Even my mom was ecstatic about me finally finding a girl. They were all so happy... Except my little sister who couldn't understand why any living thing would want to date me.
Not even Mace had a clue. The problem was, he never asked. If he'd invite me to his place during the weekend, I'd always say 'Can't. I'm busy.' And that would be the end of that discussion. Sometimes I wished he'd ask more so that it would be obvious what he was thinking. Did he think he was being ditched, or that I didn't like him anymore or what? But he never spoke his mind, which was an odd change for him. There were times when I thought he just didn't care enough to ask.
My story continues on a Sunday. It was a work day for most of the guys at the cabaret, but for me it was merely more training. I was sitting on the edge of the stage, since it was far too early for anyone to have arrived to see the show. It was about 2 hours prior to when we opened. Even most of the performers hadn't arrived yet. Beside me sat a man with short spiky brown hair, and soft brown eyes. His muscles were visible through the white tank top and black baggy shorts he was wearing. It was Lachlan. But his hunky appearance wouldn't last. In a few moments he was gonna get into a dress and start on his makeup.
"You're coming along." Lachlan spoke in his charming Australian accent. "Now really all I have to teach you is some more fitting songs, and maybe how to dance a little bit. We can't have you just standing there frozen like a deer in the headlights through every routine."
"Ok, I'm up for that." I smiled and studied the man for a moment. Maybe it was because he was hot, but I was curious about him. Plus his accent drove me intensely crazy. "Maybe this is a bit off topic, but how did you get here? Why are you a drag queen? You could be a frickin body builder!"
Lachlan laughed loudly, as if that was a ridiculous thought. "I admit I do spend too much time at the gym, but nah, I look stronger than I am. The reason for this profession is because I've always loved the idea of becoming a completely other person every night. Kinda like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, only Mr Hyde is a marvelous witty woman... Or maybe it's bugs Bunny's fault."
True, even I was rather fond when that bunny would dress up like a woman to trick the hunter. "Oh sure, blame the bunny. If your gonna do that, I'll blame my sister for dressing our male cat up in doll clothes."
"DENIS! Espèce d'enfoiré de suceur de bite!" A voice shouted from outside.
The both of us turned to look at the door, Lachlan considerably less startled than I was. A man stormed inside, his black hair spilling dangerously over his eyes. It was the handsome man I had seen the first night I came to audition. In his hand he held one single high heel shoe, but he was clenching it like he was ready to stab something with the spike. Though I had been there for a couple weeks, I had never actually seen him since that night. Maybe he was on Vacation or something, Or only worked during the week.
His clouded eyes focused on me for a few terrifying moments before he turned his attention to Lachlan. In a dark angry voice, he asked calmly, "Where's Denis?" With such a sweet French accent, and those good looks, his anger was almost sexy, if it wasn't so goddamn scary. He was worse than Eddie!
"Oh hey Ciel. He's out meeting with the tailor. Why?"
"Why isn't anyone answering the damn phones around here?" Ciel growled with frustration before letting himself fall back into a seat behind one of the front tables. "A friend of Yakov's died. He's on his way to Quebec city for a few days to visit his friend's family and attend the funeral. I've been trying to reach Denis to tell him, but no ones answering here, and he turned off his goddamn cell."
That was a name I did recognize. Yakov was from Russia, and I had met him a couple times. Though I still didn't know him very well, for he had been rather quiet when I met him.
"Shit, that's horrible." Lachlan frowned with concern, but didn't delve too deep into the tragedy. "Well then, what are you gonna do for your routine? Will you do a solo, or do you want someone else to substitute for Yakov while he's away? Ya know, I know the routine. I could do it if you have no one else in mind."
Ciel shook his head, looking away with annoyance. At least it seemed he was calming down a little. "From one masculine man to another, guys like us would never do Yakov's role justice. You're not nearly pretty enough, but if it were my role up for grabs, you'd do just fine."
I remained quiet, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. But it wasn't a conversation for me anyway. When his smoky blue eyes landed on me once more, I tried my hardest to turn invisible in that moment.
"This is the new twink, is it?" He spoke to me as his gaze drifted up and down my body. "We haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet. I'm Ciel Varocher, on stage I'm known as 'Belle Brielle'. And you are...?"
"First of all, I'm not a twink. I'm Ike Cohen. Second of all, I don't know what you called Denis back there, but it's not true! He's a nice man."
My words seemed to amuse him. A smirk covered his lips. "Oh? I guess we have a difference in opinion, because I happen to think Denis is a cock-sucker. In fact, I think he's very good at it." He shifted slightly, directing his words at Lachlan, though his eyes remained on me, "Is mon chou all ready to go on stage?"
"Yeah, I just basically need to teach him how to move on stage, but that will be taken care of today and tomorrow."
The devilishly handsome man laughed cruelly at Lachlan. He was definitely a man with a mood swing problem. "If this one danced anything like you do, he'd be worthless to me at this point. I'll teach him myself." Oh no, bad feeling about this... "He should be good enough to replace Yakov temporarily. If not, I'll have to do a solo routine."
I opened my mouth to protest, but Lachlan spoke first. "Denis entrusted him with me. If you want Ike, you can't just claim him. Either get his consent, or talk to Denis about it." Lachlan smiled apologetically at me before adding to Ciel, "And we both know Denis won't approve unless Ike agrees himself."
"How sweet of you to be protecting him. If you keep pampering him like this, he'll become soft and big evil guys like me will tear him apart." Ciel leaned forward over the table, and spoke quietly to me, almost in a whisper. "I heard you sing at the audition. If you want to have your debut in a few more months, singing something like Streisand or Celine, then by all means, refuse my offer. However, even if you are just replacing someone, you will be talked about if you're with me for your debut, and you will be singing rock, blues, and Jazz."
The choice, if it had been a nicer person, would have been made in an instant. But was I really ready to work with such a guy? I frowned and met the man's eyes with my own firm gaze. "Alright, but if you piss me off, don't expect to get off without a fat lip."
"It's a deal then."
TBC.......
Disclaimer: The song "House of Broken Love" Belongs to Great White, and not me.
Reader Response:
WhinnieRichards: Thank you! I like doing things that are apart from the rest. I appreciate you saying that. I intend to continue, and I hope you enjoy!
Semme: Ah, you again?! No, just kidding. I missed you! It may have been a lie that you said all that, but I don't care, In my imaginary fantasy world of bonking bishies, it's all truth! AHAHA!
Tyty: Here, you have more. What's your account name though? I tried looking you up, lol, but I shot a blank. :{}
Alisha Steele: I'm glad it's lovely. Does that mean I'm lovely? Probably not, but I'll claim it's so anyway!
Mystic: YES! Turned! That's why I'm so evil... Well I haven't been evil yet, but just you wait! I'll be the evilest turner in the whole ... turned... world. I dunno, I just lost myself.
/IVORY/
Chapter Two
Dreaming That I'm Free
The man wasn't surprised by my request. Not nearly as surprised as I was. It was almost as if he had expected it. He looked me over carefully before nodding at the stage. "If you wish to be one of them, you'll have to audition. Since there's some time right now, if it's convenient, you can go up there and show me why I should hire you."
"Now?"
"Oui."
Well, if that was how it would be, there wasn't much that could be done about it. I obediently walked through the small sea of tables and climbed on stage, facing the bald man, unsure of what to do. What did drag queens do to get hired? Most of the ones I've ever seen didn't dance or sing. They just made sarcastic remarks and lip-synced. Then again, this was cabaret, so maybe the standards were higher.
The man took a seat near the front, and pulled out a pen and a small pad of paper. "Tell me your name, and how old you are."
"My name? Ike Cohen." I felt even more nervous when a couple of the performers peeked out from backstage, and began to whisper amongst themselves. There were a few giggles and quips. "I... I'm 21."
"Ok. Ike Cohen... That is a cute name, but I'm not so sure it would flow on stage. Do you have a stage name?"
Stage name? Well in the split second when my mouth made the decision to do this without me, I guess I hadn't planned out all the details, silly me. I scanned my head for any possible drag queen title that wasn't too cliché. I didn't know what to say. Whatever I decided, if indeed this job was given to me, the name would be with me for how long?
"Ivory."
I looked up in shock, seeing that the man looked just as confused. As my blue eyes nervously scanned the room, I saw him. Near the front door was Eddie Lonneherr, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. How did he find me there? Immediately panicked thoughts raced through my mind. My heart stopped as I was sure he would tell and I would be doomed. If my father knew I was auditioning to be a drag queen... there would be no survivors.
He didn't look drunk at all. If anything, he just looked annoyed. That didn't really say much though, because if you ask me, he always looked annoyed. When he moved away from the wall and strolled casually toward the bald man, he spoke again. "I think Ivory would be a fitting stage name for this Cherry boy, don't you think, Denis?"
"Ah, Monsieur Lonneherr." The bald man smiled and waved to a chair for Eddie to sit in. "It will be good to have more of an audience for his audition, this way he will get used to being on display. So, Ike, can you dance or sing?"
"Um... Well I don't know how to dance, but... I could try to sing. I had a good role in a musical once when I was in high school." As if this whole thing wasn't crazy making enough. Now I had my best friend's older brother watching, and calling me names I didn't even understand. What the hell did 'Cherry boy' mean? Was he making fun of my hair or something?
The man, apparently named Denis, nodded, and scribbled something down on the paper. "Alright, go ahead and sing something for us."
Without music? I felt like I was on one of those silly reality overnight fame shows. But I wanted this so bad for myself. So, after taking a moment to push my pride aside, I cleared my throat and searched the database of my anime and videogame littered brain for a decent song. All I could think of was a particular 80's rock band. A kind of bluesy song...
"Come the mornin' don't ya wake me
I'll be dreamin' that I'm free
Come the daybreak don't ya shake me
Send me back to misery."
Perhaps a bluesy song wasn't the right choice when dealing with Cabaret, but I didn't know any other songs that would be appropriate. I didn't know anything about gay cabaret; I just knew I wanted it. As I sang, I watched Eddie for any reaction. If it was bad, surely he would give some sort of sign, or maybe not? Who could tell with him? Neither of them looked horrified, so I continued.
"Cause I'm dealin' with a devil
Ain't no help from above
I'm stealin' with the devil
Through this house of broken love."
That wasn't even near the end of the song, but it was a good enough ending point. There was really no need to humiliate myself further. One of the new arrivals that were there before me even applauded, but it was cut short when Denis raised a hand to silence them. He jotted down a couple things before looking up at me and assessing me quietly.
Denis leaned over and muttered something to Eddie before speaking to me. "You've got potential. I have enough queens without skills who just walk around the stage lipping off, but I think you could be unique. Your voice would be very good if you fixed your posture a bit, and you'll have to tame that hair of yours, but all that can be taken care of... You can come here either tomorrow at 10:00 p.m. or Sunday at 6, and we'll get you set up with someone who will help show you the strings."
"Uh..." I was speechless. I climbed off stage and approached the table. After a while my words returned to me. "... Thank... Thank you, sir. I will be here tomorrow! ... We gotta go, Eddie. Where's Mace?"
"I sent him home."
My eyes widened in disbelief and confusion. Even Denis looked a little surprise upon realizing we knew each other. Why would Eddie do that? Since when would Mace listen to Eddie and ditch his friend in the middle of the night in a strange area of the city? "No way. I don't believe you."
"I just told him you were out getting laid by lesbians... actually that's a lie; it was his idea for me to take you home. He ran into a few friends from University and decided to walk." Eddie got up and started toward the door. "He said something about you being afraid of me, and how it would serve you right for wandering off to have to be driven home by me."
"That bastard! Wait a god damn minute here, pal. You were at a bar. I ain't gonna let you drive me anywhere." I followed him, waving a goodbye to Denis as I went out the door. "Give me your car keys, Eddie."
"Not until you show me your license."
Spending all my life in Montreal, I never really had the need to get a license. Why bother when there was public transportation and I had nowhere to go that the train, metro, or buses didn't go. Still, my dad had taught me how to drive when I was 14, so I did know. Hell, with all the times my dad was too drunk to drive, I had pretty well 6 years experience.
With a shy pout, my response was quiet. "Well I ain't getting in a car with a drunken idiot behind the wheel."
Eddie stopped and looked back at me. Even as steady as he appeared, he never did argue that he wasn't drunk. Perhaps he felt it more than he showed it, or maybe he just had a drink or two and was simply smart enough to know that could effect his driving. Whatever his reasoning, he nodded slowly in agreement and looked me over.
"What?" I furrowed my brows with annoyance, trying not to squirm self-consciously. As if his gaze didn't make me nervous enough...
"I'll walk you home then. It will excite Mace to no end to know we spared the environment this little fragment of pollution anyway." Eddie started in the other direction, hopefully toward our neighborhood, but I couldn't be sure. To be honest, I trusted him. As angry as he always looked, he didn't seem to care enough to ever try anything shady.
It took a moment of deep consideration. Not like I wanted to spend a night in that place. Mace would definitely get an earful in the morning. I stubbornly stayed at a few paces behind Eddie as I trudged along. Ok, so my behavior was a little childish, but could you blame me? After being humiliated in front of this guy, my feelings of resentment were only natural, right?
We went only a few blocks in silence when I finally decided to make the time go faster by starting conversation. Or rather, there were a few things that needed to be brought to attention. "Are you going to tell anyone?"
"Tell them what?"
"Please don't tell anyone where I was or what I was doing! My parents would disown me for sure!" I nearly fell at his feet, but made the decision to hold onto the little bit of dignity I had left.
Eddie, being the nonchalant prick that he was, simply said "Ok." But still he had more to say on a completely unrelated topic. "You have a beautiful smile."
"Um... Ok, maybe you are wasted after all."
"I'm serious." Eddie turned to look at me, his green eyes blazing into mine. "I've seen you smile with Mace, and other people... But you never smile when you know that I'm around. Are you really so afraid of me?"
My brows furrowed in frustrated confusion. "You're really the one to talk! I've -never- -ever- seen you smile! Never! How you can be a model without a smile is beyond me."
"... Let's go."
"Why do you keep changing the subject?" When he didn't answer, I sighed and made the decision not to push it. I followed again, in complete silence for another block as he led the way. By then we were out of le village, but it was still quite a walk home.
During the moments when I was sure he wasn't paying any attention to me, I tried to mimic the way he walked. He was so cool even though models had never interested me. My eyes were glued to his back. Regardless of whether we were walking or waiting at a crosswalk, he kept his gaze straight ahead, and unwavering. For once it wasn't arrogance that I saw. He was hiding something. In those moments he looked lonely in whatever it was he was hiding.
A man who was openly gay and a celebrity. A man who had been into and out of drugs and alcohol already; who had been involved in numerous things that had been made public... What could he possibly be hiding? He could have any man or woman he desired, so why would he be lonely?
"So..." I spoke again, letting my voice intrude upon the brooding silence. "You like my smile?"
"Yeah. But don't let it get to your head, kid."
--
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but nothing beyond that happened between Eddie and I that night. To be perfectly honest, nothing else really happened for a couple weeks. Eddie left town again to go to Toronto for a photo shoot. This time, it was just a short trip, so he would be back in a number of days, or so Mace had informed me, not that I really would have admitted to caring. Every weekend the men who worked at the "Cabaret Pasticcio" would teach me something new about their line of work. One of them even met with me sometimes during the week or early on the weekend while the cabaret was closed in order to help me along. He taught me how to breathe when I sang, and how to do makeup, and which products to use for my hair.
His name was Lachlan. An Australian just a little older than me. But he was much different than I was. His family deserted him, and he was living above a bar in a bad neighborhood on the verge of being evicted. Despite all his short-comings, he was always so cheerful and comedic. He had nothing but his dresses and makeup, and the few divas he called friends. Every time I tried to talk to him about it, he'd only smile and tell me, 'It doesn't matter how disheveled my life looks on the outside. On the inside, this is freedom, and I wouldn't want it any other way.'
It might have been inspiring, but his freedom frightened me. From where I stood, it looked so dark and cold and lonely. After hearing about him, I made an oath to myself, never to let anyone from my normal life to know what I was becoming. By all means necessary, I would avoid becoming him.
Whenever my parents asked me where it was that I was going every weekend, my excuse was a date with a girl. My dad was so happy by the news; he brought home a bag full of condoms for me. My dad was a coach at a high school, so he had access to a healthy supply of safe sex materials. Even my mom was ecstatic about me finally finding a girl. They were all so happy... Except my little sister who couldn't understand why any living thing would want to date me.
Not even Mace had a clue. The problem was, he never asked. If he'd invite me to his place during the weekend, I'd always say 'Can't. I'm busy.' And that would be the end of that discussion. Sometimes I wished he'd ask more so that it would be obvious what he was thinking. Did he think he was being ditched, or that I didn't like him anymore or what? But he never spoke his mind, which was an odd change for him. There were times when I thought he just didn't care enough to ask.
My story continues on a Sunday. It was a work day for most of the guys at the cabaret, but for me it was merely more training. I was sitting on the edge of the stage, since it was far too early for anyone to have arrived to see the show. It was about 2 hours prior to when we opened. Even most of the performers hadn't arrived yet. Beside me sat a man with short spiky brown hair, and soft brown eyes. His muscles were visible through the white tank top and black baggy shorts he was wearing. It was Lachlan. But his hunky appearance wouldn't last. In a few moments he was gonna get into a dress and start on his makeup.
"You're coming along." Lachlan spoke in his charming Australian accent. "Now really all I have to teach you is some more fitting songs, and maybe how to dance a little bit. We can't have you just standing there frozen like a deer in the headlights through every routine."
"Ok, I'm up for that." I smiled and studied the man for a moment. Maybe it was because he was hot, but I was curious about him. Plus his accent drove me intensely crazy. "Maybe this is a bit off topic, but how did you get here? Why are you a drag queen? You could be a frickin body builder!"
Lachlan laughed loudly, as if that was a ridiculous thought. "I admit I do spend too much time at the gym, but nah, I look stronger than I am. The reason for this profession is because I've always loved the idea of becoming a completely other person every night. Kinda like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, only Mr Hyde is a marvelous witty woman... Or maybe it's bugs Bunny's fault."
True, even I was rather fond when that bunny would dress up like a woman to trick the hunter. "Oh sure, blame the bunny. If your gonna do that, I'll blame my sister for dressing our male cat up in doll clothes."
"DENIS! Espèce d'enfoiré de suceur de bite!" A voice shouted from outside.
The both of us turned to look at the door, Lachlan considerably less startled than I was. A man stormed inside, his black hair spilling dangerously over his eyes. It was the handsome man I had seen the first night I came to audition. In his hand he held one single high heel shoe, but he was clenching it like he was ready to stab something with the spike. Though I had been there for a couple weeks, I had never actually seen him since that night. Maybe he was on Vacation or something, Or only worked during the week.
His clouded eyes focused on me for a few terrifying moments before he turned his attention to Lachlan. In a dark angry voice, he asked calmly, "Where's Denis?" With such a sweet French accent, and those good looks, his anger was almost sexy, if it wasn't so goddamn scary. He was worse than Eddie!
"Oh hey Ciel. He's out meeting with the tailor. Why?"
"Why isn't anyone answering the damn phones around here?" Ciel growled with frustration before letting himself fall back into a seat behind one of the front tables. "A friend of Yakov's died. He's on his way to Quebec city for a few days to visit his friend's family and attend the funeral. I've been trying to reach Denis to tell him, but no ones answering here, and he turned off his goddamn cell."
That was a name I did recognize. Yakov was from Russia, and I had met him a couple times. Though I still didn't know him very well, for he had been rather quiet when I met him.
"Shit, that's horrible." Lachlan frowned with concern, but didn't delve too deep into the tragedy. "Well then, what are you gonna do for your routine? Will you do a solo, or do you want someone else to substitute for Yakov while he's away? Ya know, I know the routine. I could do it if you have no one else in mind."
Ciel shook his head, looking away with annoyance. At least it seemed he was calming down a little. "From one masculine man to another, guys like us would never do Yakov's role justice. You're not nearly pretty enough, but if it were my role up for grabs, you'd do just fine."
I remained quiet, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. But it wasn't a conversation for me anyway. When his smoky blue eyes landed on me once more, I tried my hardest to turn invisible in that moment.
"This is the new twink, is it?" He spoke to me as his gaze drifted up and down my body. "We haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet. I'm Ciel Varocher, on stage I'm known as 'Belle Brielle'. And you are...?"
"First of all, I'm not a twink. I'm Ike Cohen. Second of all, I don't know what you called Denis back there, but it's not true! He's a nice man."
My words seemed to amuse him. A smirk covered his lips. "Oh? I guess we have a difference in opinion, because I happen to think Denis is a cock-sucker. In fact, I think he's very good at it." He shifted slightly, directing his words at Lachlan, though his eyes remained on me, "Is mon chou all ready to go on stage?"
"Yeah, I just basically need to teach him how to move on stage, but that will be taken care of today and tomorrow."
The devilishly handsome man laughed cruelly at Lachlan. He was definitely a man with a mood swing problem. "If this one danced anything like you do, he'd be worthless to me at this point. I'll teach him myself." Oh no, bad feeling about this... "He should be good enough to replace Yakov temporarily. If not, I'll have to do a solo routine."
I opened my mouth to protest, but Lachlan spoke first. "Denis entrusted him with me. If you want Ike, you can't just claim him. Either get his consent, or talk to Denis about it." Lachlan smiled apologetically at me before adding to Ciel, "And we both know Denis won't approve unless Ike agrees himself."
"How sweet of you to be protecting him. If you keep pampering him like this, he'll become soft and big evil guys like me will tear him apart." Ciel leaned forward over the table, and spoke quietly to me, almost in a whisper. "I heard you sing at the audition. If you want to have your debut in a few more months, singing something like Streisand or Celine, then by all means, refuse my offer. However, even if you are just replacing someone, you will be talked about if you're with me for your debut, and you will be singing rock, blues, and Jazz."
The choice, if it had been a nicer person, would have been made in an instant. But was I really ready to work with such a guy? I frowned and met the man's eyes with my own firm gaze. "Alright, but if you piss me off, don't expect to get off without a fat lip."
"It's a deal then."
TBC.......
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