FicWad

Pete walked into his den, cigarette on his lips and a notebook in his hand. He sat down at his meditation corner and began to jot down random thoughts on the notebook that had quickly become like his dream journal. He had been having a recurring dream for weeks. It was strange that after so long his mind had began to play tricks on him. It started the same, he saw Ivelisse, her face in a crowded room, he went out to speak to her but as soon as he thought he had reached her she disappeared and appeared a bit farther he tried to get closer but just when he was about to touch her she would slip away. The dream reminding him of how he felt about their relationship; He tried to reach out and hold on to her but she had slipped away and there was nothing he could do. That’s how it always went. He would get closer and she would fade farther away. He flipped the notebook until he came across a torn picture. There she was, beautiful as always. Sitting in between his legs as he kissed her cheek her eyes closed and a faint smile played on her lips. His mother had taken this picture on one of the shows of their tour. It was the Chicago show, and it was backstage, His arms securely around her. He put his pen down to ash his cigarette and rub his eyes. He heard Ashlee laugh in the other room with her friend and looked over his shoulder to the adjacent room to see her just as she pushed a piece of hair away from her face and put it behind her ear. He sighed as he put out his cigarette he was getting ready to walk out back to his girlfriend and her guest when he heard his phone ring. He was about to ignore it and walk away when he realized the ring tone and his heartbeat quickened and his breath caught in his throat.
It couldn’t be. She hadn’t called in months and especially never this late. It was 2 AM.
He slowly walked over to his desk again and looked down at the caller id on his sidekick 3 in disbelief. He let the words to the Bon Jovi song Always play and he stared at the picture and the name IVELISSE blinking up at him.
“And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always”
He let it play again halfway before he picked up the call. He had barely put the phone to his ear when he heard her say his name.
“Pete?” He breathed at her tone in savoring the way she spoke his name, her voice always sent chills down his spine.
“Yea baby?” he said more out of habit than anything else. He looked to the next room quickly making sure Ashlee wasn’t anywhere in near the room. He lowered his voice to just above a whisper and darted his eyes from the sheet in front of him to the other room where Ashlee was sitting talking oblivious to him and his conversation.
He just heard her breath on the other end and so he spoke up again.
”Honey why are you calling me so late?” He questioned pulling out the picture of the two of them again.
“I’m sorry Pete”
”It's ok it’s just kind of hard to talk right now.” He said looking over his shoulder again to Ashlee. She was still in deep conversation with her friend but momentarily looked at him and smiled. He gave her a small smile back and then turned back to his desk. The line had gone silent but he could hear muffled sobs from the other end.
”Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?” he asked sitting up suddenly worried. He hated when she cried.
She sniffled a little before answering
“Just peachy.” Was all se said with a small laugh
“You were always a bad liar Ivelisse, so tell me what’s wrong.”
“Pete did I wake you?” she asked trying to dodge his previous question.
“No I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud”
“why is that?” she said and he could just picture her whipping her tears away.
”Well, my girl's in the next room” he said simply
“Oh, I see” was all she said and then the line was silent again.
“Sometimes I wish she was you” he said before he knew what he was saying. He cringed slightly although it was the truth he didn’t want to say it. Not to her. It wasn’t fair to Ashlee he knew, he should hang up but he just stood on the line. She spoke up barely above a whisper herself.
“What happened to us? One minute we were planning a family and the next you are there with her and I am here with him. But I still have the urge to call you and listen to you speak just so I can be ok. Just so I can go to sleep. Just so I can live another day, why are we like this Pete?” she questioned confusion apparent in her tone.
“I guess we never really moved on Ivy” he said leaning back in his chair and lighting another cigarette.
“You’re smoking aren’t you?” she challenged with a smile. Playing on her lips
“I never understood how you could tell.” He said resting his elbows on his thighs.
“Well Pete, Your breathing is different.” She stated as if it were the simplest answer in the world.
“It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
it sounds so sweet” she laughed lightly. And again he felt chills, her laugh was so intoxicating.
“I don’t know how it can be sweet now.” She said referring to how they would fight before even over her saying his name.
“That’s easy coming from the lips of an angel anything sounds sweet.” She laughed again this time harder, louder making him laugh himself.
“always the hopeless romantic Pete, now I remember why I fell in love with you”
”Hearing you say those words it makes me weak Ivy, you know that?”
He heard her shift in her seat
“I know, and sometimes I want to play on your weakness for me, and I want to give in to my weakness for you and I want to hold you and just never want to say goodbye again” he could hear her deep sigh.
”I’m trying to move on and get over you and be a good man, But girl you make it hard to be faithful when you say things like that. Makes me want say the fuck with everything and just go and kiss you.”
She laughed
“What did you always tell me? kiss me”
”With the lips of an angel” he said finishing her sentence
“You know I’ve been having these weird dreams lately. You are in all of them. Do you dream of me too Pete?”
”It's funny that you're calling me tonight, I was sitting here thinking about you and, yes, I've dreamt of you too.” He heard stirring behind him and looked back to see Ashlee walking her friend to the door. He heard Ivelisse speak to someone lowly before getting up and walking around. A few minutes later she came back on the line.
”Does he know you're talking to me?” he questioned as he played with the hem of his shirt.
“No it will probably start a fight if he did. He doesn’t get us. Hell I don’t even get us. What about your girl does she know it’s me?”
”No I don't think she has a clue” he said as he watched Ashlee walk towards the stairs of the house.
“Where is she?”
”she’s in the next room”
”well maybe you should get back to her then?” Pete sighed he wanted to disagree but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
“Yea maybe I should, her friends gone now. Shell be in soon to look for me. It was really good to hear your voice though Ivelisse.”
“Yea Pete it was good to hear your voice too.” She was about to hang up when he spoke up.
“Why did you call me so late?”
The girl on the other end smiled.
“I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you and just make sure you’re ok, it’s been so long since I’ve talked to you. That and I just really needed to hear your voice.” His throat tightened. And his eyes stung with tears. That s how he had felt as if he were falling apart because he hadn’t heard her voice in so long.
“I love you too Ivy. Ill call you soon ok?” he said his heart tightening at having to say good bye again. This was always the hard part of their conversations.
“Yea Peter Panda. I’m looking forward to it.” She said sadly
“Kiss the baby goodnight for me ok tell him I love him and ill be there to see him soon ok?”
She sniffled again and he realized she had begun to cry again.
“Ok babe, ill give him your message.” With that she clicked her phone off and he sighed shakily rubbing his head with his hands wanting nothing more than to drop everything and go see her. She seemed so broken on the call. He just wanted to hold his angel and make her feel better. But he couldn’t and the reason why was leaning against the door frame.
“You ok Pete?” Ashlee questioned
“Fine” he lied getting up from the chair and walking to her
“Who was on the phone?” she said as she wrapped her arms around him
“No one you know.” He said kissing the top of her head.
“Let’s go to bed ok?” he said leading her in the direction of the bedroom. She nodded and followed him out of the den shutting of the light as they left the room.