FicWad

Beth and I were still on for coffee and cakes, for which I am glad. After lunch, it was the only thing getting me through the day. I couldn’t help but think I’d ruined things by pursuing her family history, but I’d make things better later. I’m trying not to think about her, deeply concentrating on patients and their worries, but somehow my mind drifts back to what I could be doing with a little Marvin Gaye on in the background.

I genuinely like her, I’m … I’m … I guess it’s, I think … I’m fascinated by her. I’d never really been in close proximity with anyone like her. She’d smart, and that’s not to say I’ve never met anyone smart, but she thinks about things differently to the people I’ve met. Her book-smart looks weren’t bogus, and I … liked that. We were in tune with each other. Oh, if I wasn’t married …

“Gerard, I’m going to put you on an anti-psychotic called Prolixin. It should help with your delusions, meaning that Frank would be under control. It should merge the two personalities,” I could tell that he was unsure, I didn’t want him to be frightened, he’s a nice guy in a bad situation, “There are minimal side-effects. You don’t have to worry at all.”

“I’m not worried about the drugs. Don’t even car about the side-effects, I don’t want to be … I … I don’t want to be lonely,” He’d been lying on the couch that was across from me, “I nearly lost him, Doc. The doctors told me it was a close call, he hasn’t woken up.”

“Call me Patrick. I know it was a close call and I’m sorry that you had to wait so long to find out; I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. We never did get to see him though, did we?” Have I mentioned that my day seems to follow a routine similar to ‘Groundhog Day’? I’d decided that I was going to make another attempt at visiting Frank.

I still needed to see how they worked together. Or rather, how Gerard acted around him. I knew that his plans for the extra hour hadn’t vanished or faded, I’d have to work that out somehow. Rising from my chair, I signalled to the door and started heading towards it. I was stopped when Gerard placed a hand on my arm.

“Patrick, what am I going to do if he dies?” Gee questioned me, hoping I’d give him a decent answer.

“Gee, he might not wake up. It may even be a good thing if he doesn’t there are some that can’t cope with the amount of time they’ve lost. How do you think he’ll feel when he hears his parents haven’t visited him once in the time he’s been in here?” My rant ended, leaving us both a little out of breath and confused.

“I … I … Do you think I should turn off the life support?” Uh oh, I landed myself right in this one.

“It’s not my place to say. It’s your decision, I mean generally there’s a three month time frame given, but it’s up to you. Have you been thinking about it?” Phew, got myself out of that one.
“Well, sometimes I can’t help it … Patrick?” He looked me square in the eye, “How do I give up someone I love? I can’t imagine the rest of my life being Frank-less.”

“Come on, let’s go up and see him” Once again, pointing towards the door.

I approached Beth, a little wary of her after her minor breakdown. She appeared completely normal, taking phone calls, arranging appointments, the usual. She smiled as I advanced towards her, placing her hand over the telephone receiver. There was an air of gloom in the way she acted this afternoon, and I knew it was my fault. It was my fault that she was reminiscing on her past, my blunder that had brought back her burden.

“Hi Patrick,” She murmured, “Anything I can do to help?”

“Uh, yeah, will you tell me what appointments I have today? Oh, and tomorrow!” I wanted to keep things light, “Are we still on for tonight?”

“Uh, tomorrow you have another session with Bob. Dr Wentz is very keen for you to help him with his issues. You have your second meeting with Ray Toro, and as usual, Gerard Way. You don’t have anymore clients today and yes we are still on for tonight,” She spoke smilingly, but then stopped to consider something, “Look, I have to go home, but I promise I’ll meet you there. Be at Café Sanjeré at six and I’ll be there too”

“No problem, six is fine,” I indicated to Gerard, “I have to shoot off, but I’ll see you at six”

“Are we heading up?” Gerard was already retreating towards the elevator as he spoke, and I couldn’t blame him, he was worried that another incident would occur if he wasn’t there with Frank. Understandable, considering that the last time we’d tried to visit together Frank had gone A.W.O.L.

“Yeah, let’s go,” I was concerned that Gerard was going to make a rash and hasty decision, rapidly, I was becoming panicky that Gerard might choose something he’d regret in later life, “Are you considering giving the doctors permission to turn off Franks life support?”

“I … I know that I … It’s a betrayal to admit this, but … I’ve been thinking about letting them turn off his life support for a while now, I know deep down that you’re right,” He appeared somewhat dejected, it was to be expected that he’d sink into depression, he was trying to decide whether or not to end another man’s life.

“It’s not at all awful, it’s going to be tough but you’ll make the right decision. Don’t rush anything though,” Being sympathetic to Gerard didn’t make his decision any easier, and I didn’t’t claim that my words would ever really help with the process.

“Patrick, he doesn’t’t really stand a chance does he?” By now, we had reached Franks ward, I was anxious because I’m new to this job, how am I supposed to answer questions like this?

“Gerard, I’ve told you it’s your decision. I can only advise, you should ask his doctor for his chances of recovery”, A cop out, I know.

“See, the thing is …Oh, I probably shouldn’t say” Gerard huffed.

“What’s up, Gee?” I sometimes get the feeling that I’m failing Gerard, the only thing I’ve done for him really is prescribe him a drug that has more side effects than benefits. I was told that ‘Social Support’ is meant to be a great way to help someone with schizophrenia, but I’m not really doing a good job with that.

Reaching Franks room, I found something worse than I’d seen the day before. A wreck of a man, clinging on to a machine for life. There was still bruising on Franks arm, probably because his recovery rate had slowed since the accident. Gee seemed pleased to see him he moved over to him, clearing Franks growing fringe from his face, and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

“Frank, I’d like you to meet Patrick,” Gerard put on a silly expectant grin, which made me laugh out loud, “Now, don’t be rude, wake up and say hello”
“Hi Frank” I chipped in, “Pleased to meet you”

“Well, it was worth a shot” Gerard shrugged. I slammed the door shut behind me, preparing myself for what I was about to say.

“Gerard, take a seat” He obliged, sitting down, looking at me avidly as I psyched myself up.