FicWad

**

The next few weeks flew by, and I hardly saw Gerard, who was busy doing the college life. And I understood that he had more friends to hang out with, and I was happy for him. High school had been a miserable place for my brother, and I’m glad that there are more willing people to overlook his differences and see the real him.

Besides, Frank and I had gotten pretty close too. We hang out whenever we could, and sometimes it led to making out or a hand job here or there, but other than that, we have a good solid friendship.

Maybe I’m not in love with him, but he is still a friend I can depend on.

Besides, being with him gave me a glitter of hope that maybe one day I could get over my sick obsession with my older brother and move on. But I'm in self-denial on that one. I think I'm starting to realize my mistake, thinking I could distract myself from my feelings. Now it's amplified and I feel guilt.

I wasn’t going to replace him, but nor was I going to push Frank aside. He meant a lot to me. Lately, I managed to convince myself that being with Frank wasn’t so bad. He loved me, and I…cared about him enough to possibly love him one day. Maybe I would never get what I wanted, but Frank was just as good. It would have to do, and I felt fucking awful for using Frank like some consolation prize.

“Hey, Mikes,“ whispered a voice in my ear.

I moaned. “Wanna sleep.”

He laughed. “I can’t believe you fell asleep to that movie. It was badass.”

It suddenly occurred to me where I was. In my room, with Frank and the lights were off and trying to watch Underworld. I had already seen the movie multiple times with Gerard, but Frank hadn’t and been excited, and I enlighten him by agreeing to see it with him. But half-way, I must’ve dozed off and Frank probably didn’t have the heart to wake me, figuring I needed my sleep.

“Your hair is adorable like that,” he chuckled, caressing my locks teasingly.

“Shut up,” I muttered.

He giggled, pressing our lips together for a moment before pulling away and turning off the television set and turning on the stereo.

I instantly knew what he wanted. And I was happy to oblige him. Frank was rarely one to insinuate sex, half the time I would embarrass myself by trying to. One time I had molested him in my room after walking home from school, feeling incredible horny for some odd reason.

Plus, I had been wondering if I could return the favor one day. He had gone down on me plenty of times already, and only let me give him a half-sloppy hand-job in his room when his parents had gone out to dinner for a date. He wouldn’t let me go down on him.

Maybe he thought it was degrading or something. But either way, I wanted to. I liked to please people, and I knew it would please him.

“M-Mikey—“ he protested when my fingers undid his buttons, pulling down his zipper as I glided down between his legs, realizing my true intend. “No—“

“But I want to,” I said sternly, pushing my glasses up on my nose, looking up at him. “Why not? Are you scared I’ll be bad?”

“No, it’s just—I don’t want you to think—“

I reached up and kissed him hard, letting my tongue momentarily slip inside his mouth, hoping he would get the point. He moaned, and I slipped between his legs once more, pulling out his cock and stroking it to full hardness.

“Oh God…” he moaned above me, his head thrown back as I let my tongue dip on the tip of his cock to taste him for the first time. I smiled in satifisation when I heard an encouraging moan.

I knew the mechanics of a blow-job, and took the head into my mouth, suckling gently, my hand gripping what I couldn’t fit in my mouth. His hips jerked and I pulled back in fear of getting choked.

“Fuck…sorry,” he muttered, glancing down at me with an apologetic look. I smiled sweetly at him, engulfing him in my mouth once more, moving my mouth up and down on his hard length, feeling a hand weave into my hair and grip tightly as I sucked on him lazily for a few moments, wondering if I was doing this right.

I figured I was judging by the groans flowing through Frank’s mouth. And all his moans went straight to my crotch. I had to fight the urge to unzip my own jeans and touch myself.

“Fuck…Mikey…so good,” he gasped out, “P-Please…”

Without warning he pulled me off, and I looked up at him in confusion.

Then I realized why and sat up and laid down beside him, curling my hand around his length and pumping him to completion. He gasped and clenched the front of my shirt as I hurled him to his climax. He called me beautiful, but he was breathtaking. His cheeks flushed and his lips red, his mouth half-way closed as he breathed hard through his nose, pleasing sounds emitting from his mouth.

“Mikey…” he breathed out, and I pressed myself close, crushing my lips to his, wanting to treasure this moment forever. He came with a gasp, shuddering in my arms, and I gently kissed him, my last kiss lingering on the corner of his mouth. He smiled gently at me, a pleased look at his face.

This wasn’t how I planned for it to happen. I wanted him…to come inside my mouth, but…this was better. I got to see his face up close. And fuck, it was the most erotic thing I had ever witnessed.

I couldn’t stop the words flooding out of my mouth, “I love you.”

I think a small part of me, at least I hoped, really did.

**
Frank had become a lot more beaming and smiley after that day in my room. More happy, and he always wore a ridiculous grin on his face when he saw me during school. I felt guilty, but at the same time, happy. Frank was a good friend, and a good boyfriend. The combination rolled into one was nice. We go over to his house to play video games, and if we got bored, we just make out to pass the time.

“Mmmm,” he moaned when I finally pulled away, our breaths heavy. I felt feel the warmth of his radiating on my face, reminding me of what we had been doing just two seconds ago.

I grinned back at him, laying half sprawl on him and cupping his cheek, letting my tongue flicker out to trace his bottom lip, and he happily accepted my invitation, opening his mouth wider, giving me the leverage I needed to deepen the kiss, his hands resting on my shoulders.

Out of all the things we do, I love the kissing. To me, it’s the most intimate part of any relationship. I’m sure others would say sex is, but letting someone stick their tongue in your throat? That’s pretty close to me. But not disgustingly so, surprisely, it’s nice and warm.

“Hey Mikey?” asked Frank softly after we detached ourselves, and for some odd reason, I felt sleepily as I lay beside him, closing my eyes, listening to the soft, alluring soft of the fan above us swoosh round and round—

“Mmm?” I mumbled, opening my lids.

“It’s only five o’clock; I thought you wanted to go to the movies--?”

“Just wanna lay in bed with you,” I whined, nuzzling my face against his shoulder.

I don’t remember what happened after that. I just remember closing my eyes.

**

“Hey,” my brother greeted from his seat at the kitchen table, drinking his morning coffee when I walked in, my hair a mess and my clothes tangled from my tossing and turning. Gerard, on the other hand, looked awake and less pale than I did.

“’ello—“ I managed to rasp, licking my lips, walking to the coffee pot and thanking whoever invented coffee.

“Your friend, Ray, called last night. I told him you were with Frank and would call him back,” Gerard told me, walking up to me, ruffling my hair and placing his coffee cup in the sink. “You look like shit, Mikers.”

“Thanks,” I said, rolling my eyes, biting my lip to keep from hissing. The coffee was hot.

I nearly yelped when his cold hand touched my burning face. His features morphed into concern.

“You’re burning up, Mikey,” he said, guiding me to the living room sofa, his cold hands feeling around my face, and I wanted to die at the moment for enjoying his hands on me, even if he was doctoring me.

“That would explain the shitty appearance,” I laughed half-heartily, watching him out the corner of my eye walk into the kitchen and rummaging through the cabinets for medicine and a cold cloth. I yelped again when the cold rag landed on my forehead, and Gerard thrusting two pills and a glass of water in my hands.

“I’ll ring Mom and tell her you’re sick, I wish I could stay and take care of you, but I got a major test this morning—“

“I understand,” I broke in weakly, wondering it was possible for so much to change in such a short period of time. A year ago Gerard would’ve gladly ditched school to hang out with me. But I had forgotten, being the naïve kid I was, that he was in college now and didn’t have time for his kid brother.

“Hey, I’m sorry, Michael,” my brother said softly, picking up my sour mood and holding me, petting my hair gently and kissing my cheek. “I’ll be home early today. Just rest, ok kiddo?”

“Don’t call me that,” I said, and he laughed, ruffling my hair annoyingly again before standing up and leaving.

**
I yelped when I felt a hand shaking me awake. Gerard snorted at me, saying I screamed like a girl, I flicked him off.

He tossed a bag in my lap. I gave him a questioning look.

“Open it, duh,” he said, leaning over to grasp the remote and change the channel as I dug in the bag.

Mint chocolate ice cream. My favorite. I’m surprised he still remembered.

“Thanks,” I said, and he slung an arm over my shoulders. And I couldn’t help but snuggle closer.

He was the best brother in the world, I thought, taking full advantage of this opportunity, he raised a brow at me but shrugged if off, returning his gaze to the show and absently mindedly petting my hair. I sighed in content.

**
If I never mentioned how popular Frank Iero was, then I should’ve at the beginning. It wasn’t a big surprise; he was an up-beat, friendly sort of guy. The kind where nobody hated, and if they did, they just disliked his happy nature. Frank had a way to get even the most introverted people to open up. Myself included.

If you don’t know yet--relationships are a give and take. I never was fond of the party crowd and didn’t like to associate with them, but Frank loved to party. He just loved to be surrounded by people. He was…very social able. And I wasn’t. So when he gave the proposition, I couldn’t refuse. After all, he always stayed home with me to watch movies instead of partying like he wanted. I felt obligated.

“We don’t have to. It’s for my good friend’s birthday,” he stated, eyeing me closely for my initial reaction. “Remember Quinn?”

I forced myself to look genuinely curious. “I—I’ll go, if you want.”

“Of course I do, silly, you’re my boyfriend,” he said, nuzzling his nose against my shoulder, sensing my tension over the situation. “We don’t have to stay long. I know you don’t like being around strangers. But I’ll stay by your side all night if you want.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said softly, pushing him away in embarrassment. “I’m not some little kid you have to look after.”

Frank shot me a hurt look. “Mikey, you know I don’t mean it like that.”

“I’m not…breakable or fragile like you think,” I huffed, wishing to end this conversation quickly before it escalated into something worse. I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. But Frank did have an annoying habit of wanting to ‘protect me’. I hated how I managed to bring out that other nurturing side of him.

He wrapped his thick arms around me, planting kisses along the nape of my neck, mumbling against my skin, “Don’t stay mad at me, Mikey, I hate it when we fight.”

“Me too,” I said, and that was the end of the conversation.