FicWad

i decided being stood with a very intoxicated erin was getting me no where so i walked towards the toilets i felt a hand grab me and pull me into the guys toilets with one hand across my mouth to stop me from screaming .... i was soon in a cubile.... tears were running down my face so my vision was blurred and i could hardly breathe.
" shhhh elle...... fuck its just me ..... jesus why you gotta be so over the top about everything"..... I looked up from the floor and saw a pair of deep hazel eyes , half covered with a black fringe , staring down at me .

" fuck craig!!! ...... why did u do that ? why do you have to fucking scare me ..... " ..... i try to compose myself and sit on the closed toilet seat , craig shuffles around in his pockets , looking uncomfortable.
He soon pulls out a baggy from his pocket and my eyes grow wider as he edges it closer to my face.
" awww elle..... i didn't mean to scare you .... jsut wondered if u wanted some of this .... y;know so we can play XD . " craig smirks at me , while he cups my cheek in his palm.
soon enough craig and i were shooting lines of cocaine from the toilet seat....

"hey erin u seen elle ? ..... i gotta tell her something.... " a very sweaty Corey ask erin.
" noooooo dude but i saw youuuuuu up there....... playing your guitar babnananana ........ you looked like a fucking rock star dude ........ SHE LOVES YOU YEAH YEAH YEAH " ...... erin wrapped her arms around coreys shoulders and he struggles to break free , franitcally searching the club for Elle .
" look erin .... fuck ...... did u see Elle about ?? .... " Coreys eyes never quite meeting erins.
" AND WITH A LOVE LIKE THAT YOU KNOW YOU COULD ME MADDDDDDDDDDDDD........ "

Corey takes off around the club , looking for elle ...... he steps into the guys toilets .....

"ELLE ??? BABY you in here ? ".....
A tall random guy with a mohican looks Corey up and down ,
"hey man .... you think you should try the ladies? .... just a suggestion " ..... he says leaving the bathroom.

"shit....." elle whispers to craig ...." what the fuck is this gunna look like if he catches us .... ? "

" .........................baby ? ......"
" yeah just a minute.... " i yell over the stall.
" well what the fuck , why you in the guys toilets ? " ,
come on elle ...... act fucking dumb.....
" oh ummmm shit this is the toilets for the dudes..... my mistake .... shit ..... sorry ... ill meet you outside in a second .... just let me finish upp ..... "
Corey looks around the bathroom to see it was empty ....
" nawww come on elle .... let me in ..... go on ... we can finish wat we started earlier ."
craig raises his eyebrow to elle ....
"kinky" he whipsers.
"shut the fuck up craig"

" elle .... you fucking got someone in there with you .... "
Soon enough corey was banging on the door.
"let me the fuck in now "
i open the door to reveal the scene i really didnt want him to see.
Coreys face drops and his eyes show a complete sign of devistation.

" baby look ... i can .. " im soon cut off..
Tears are forming in coreys eyes.
" you missed my fucking set ..... you missed my fucking song i wrote for you ..... for this guy ? to get fucked up ? "
His face tells the story his mouth is too angry to tell .
" noo i saw it.. " my eyes are darting around avoiding everywhere but to meet with his.
" no you didnt elle ..... you were gone by the 2nd song..... i saw.... i ...umm i looked for you and you wernt there?! "
" im .... sorry .... " tears are forming behind my eyes , threatening to show themselves at any given moment.
Corey walks out of the stalls .... looking more than unhappy ..... i walk after him but i cant find him anywhere...
i spot ross stood talking to another dude from another band
" hey hey Ross.....Did u see corey.?"
" yeah he left like just a bit ago and he was fucking pissed man , whats wrong? i need to speak to him too actually .... ive got some fucking amaze news!!"
" never mind ... he like went home ? "
" i dont know .... "
i aimlessly leave the club clutching my bag , outside the bristish weather has started to kick in and the rain is comming down , i start to make my way towards Coreys place..... as i get nearer thunder and lightning terrorising the streets.....
I walk into coreys house ,his parents are sat in front of the telly , i loved how they were still so in love , how they had been married for 25 years , and hardly ever fight.
True love.
coreys mum Lyn stands up ....
"hey elle , Corey not with you ? " she asks looking behind me as if he was just gunna come in at any moment.
" you mean he's not here ? " ...... i must have looked like a drowned rat i had just walk half a mile from the club in the pouring rain.
" no sorry elle ..... jesus christ thooo you get in here.... " she wraps a towel around me . " ill put the kettle on "...
" no thats fine thanks lyn .... i needed to see corey , Ross said he came home ... " i say to myself .. walking out the door.
i start walking , no particualr destination in mind ...... just walking .... i know corey and if he wants to be found he will let me find him.
walking thru the cold windy streets of london on a friday night is fucking dangerous , i mean like not as dangerous as some of the places you hear about . But still ..... theres a huge chance i will get mistaken for someone else and get stabbed .... i turn into victoria park with the rain falling heavy on the top of my head.
i walk into the park admiring how the raindrops look on the branches of the trees... its like rain comes in sizes and knows what size to fall and where.
Big drops for big tree's and tiny drops for delicate flowers.
And i raise my head to look at the full moon.
How could i have fucked up tonight so bad for him ?
i was gone for like 5 minutes .... thats it .... i cant have missed his set .... not his whole set because i saw most of it with erin ? right ? .


Then i see him stood smoking a cigarette ..... swining on a swing.... his hood up and his guyliner smudged. its too wet to determine whether it was the tears or the rain that had done that to him.
I walk towards him , and suddenly it feels like someone dropped a stone inside my stomach...
i felt a huge pang of guilt..... Had i truely let him down?

" heyy baby ........ ive been looking for you .... alot actually ..... " i say to him , and he doesnt even flinch .... he just carries on swinging and smoking his cigarette.... looking occasionally down at his worn away converse....

" i went off with craig for like 5 minutes , he like grabbed me and took me off .... its no big deal.... " Taking coreys approach was for the best right now and i too look down at my feet and bite away at my lip in anticipation.
i wish he would say something , anything ....

" no big deal huh elle ? ... no big deal..... right " he laughs.
i mean what the hell this is no laughing matter right ? .... hes happy i went off with craig ? ......boys.... i dont get them ....

" yeah i suppose it is kinda funny baby " i smile ...Feeling a little uneasy.


Silence

" no elle you see thats the thing .... its not fucking funny .... im not laughing because im funny.... im laughing because your statement is laughable .... "

" well surely thats..."

Corey stand's up from the swing and looks into the midnight sky.
i see him clench his fist.

" NO ELLE.... THATS NOT RIGHT .. 5 FUCKING MINUTES ..... YOU SERIOUSLY THINK YOU WERE GONE FOR 5 MINUTES...... TRY 15 !!!!!!!!!!!!"
i can do nothing but look down at my feet in shame .
Corey walks around the tarmacked surface .... randomly kicking stones.

" Ross called me elle...... The A&R guy .............. he fucking loved us ................ we have a meeting tomorow. if you hadnt been so fucked up on that shit with craig you would have seen that . If you hadnt of been so fucked up , you would have heard that. why do you let this shit get to you huh ? . why do u do it ? "

i look up at him .

" because Corey .... it makes me the person you love , it makes me the confident elle , it makes me the funny elle , fuck it makes me the sexy elle !!!!!!!!!! thats why ! because its who i am .... "

he pulls my chin up and melts into my eyes.....

".....................thats not the elle i fell in love with tho is it ? ......................im going home... ill make up the couch when i get in .... and we can talk in the morning..... "

Corey walks away , and i stand in shock , in disbelife!.


The next morning i wake up disorientated on Coreys couch ,the sun it shining through the window and making my eyes sting . i look down at my watch , 11.45 am , Shit , Corey would be in work now . i walk around to the kitchen , as soon as my feet touch the floor , it feels like the blood in my body starts bouncing from my toes , to my head . and back again . and the sence that i was going to faint suddenly hits me and i fall to the floor.
Everything suddenly goes black.
"elle..... ellle.... you ok ?? " ...... Lyn ?
i slowly open my eyes to the sunlight again , and look at coreys mother who is looking down at me concerned.
" you ok elle ? you had me kinda worried " ...... i look at her confussed for a moment , but i soon managed to compose myself , again.
" yeah lyn im fine thanks .... just had a little too much to drink last night you know ." lies !
" yeah that amognst other shit huh elle ...... " .... i look up to see corey leaning in the doorway , looking down dissapointed.
lyn leaves the room , as corey sits on the sofa , and watches telly. ignoring me getting up from the floor.
" no work today ? " corey doesnt even flinch....
"nope , meeting with the A&R guy , remember ? " his eyes never move from the telly set
" oh yeah sure baby , i didnt know it was soon thought " i thought appealing to his better nature was going to work and i tried to search for some truth in his eyes , but i just couldnt find it .

" no its at 1 , i'm going to nuuba's , and then shes going to drive to the studio where we meet him ."
"you know what baby you could gather some energy to actually look at me ..... " I search for his face.
Corey looks at me , almost through me .
"i wish i could baby i really do ... " he says looking at me as if it was for the last time.