FicWad

AN: This chapter has Bert/Mikey. Semi non-con (coersion really). Gerard's oh-so-famous 'brotherly' advice. And, of course, Frankie! This chapter was hard to write. to rachel, who loves frikey. natalie, who loves waycest. and me, who just loves bert mccracken like cocaine. lmao.xoxo

**

School was becoming more stressful than over. Freshman year was easy, I barely studied. Well, it was my sophomore year and that meant more papers, homework, and projects. I was usually a straight A student, but this semester my grades were dropping. I just didn't have the energy to study. Ok, that's a lie. Between Frank, Bert, and trying to figure out how to keep up with my growing drug addiction, it was hard to concentrate on my studies. Or to care.

My mother had lectured me when she found my progress report, grounding me on the spot.

"But Mom, I promised I would go out with Ray today," I told her weakly, staring at her angrily.

"No, Michael," she said, waving the paper in my face. "Not until you bring these all up. Don't tell me you're incapable. You just haven't been applying yourself lately."

"Mom--"

"Don't test me, young man! Or else I won't let you go anywhere! I think you've been too distracted."

I rolled my eyes, biting my tongue.

"Michael James, don't you dare roll your eyes at me," she said angrily. "Don't you want to get into a good college?"

I snorted. Not like she cared how Gerard nearly flunked out of high school. College, blah, blah. That's all my mother talked about. Good grades. Good college. Scholarships. Grants. Blah blah. I hated it. I really couldn't picture myself in college, but did any of that matter to her?

"Don't even think about using Gerard as an excuse," she said, as if knowing that would be my next protest.

Her expression softened. "I just want what's best for you."

I wish I could believe her.

**

I called up Ray. He sounded sympathetic when I told him about my mother.

"Man, that sucks," he said, instantly backing me up. "I was really hoping to hang out with you. Video archade and all."

I groaned. "I know, I know."

Ray sighed. "It's ok. You're smart. You'll pull your grades up quick enough. Wow, Mikey Way with anything less than a B? Craziness."

I sighed. "My mom completely flipped. She acted as if I were /failing/. I'm still passing! She would let Gerard get away with those grades all the time! Not fucking fair."

I heard him laugh. "You're smarter. No offense to your brother. Besides, I take it your mother hasn't found out you been skipping classes?"

I hushed him, worried my evil mother was listening on this phone call. "Shut up, ok? Geez. I'm already grounded for a fucking week. If she found out, she'll murder me. Probably have my dad help her."

"Ok, well. Just get your grades up. Can't be too hard," well, at least one of us had a positive attitute about this, I thought sourly.

**

Good thing about being grounded? Well, at least now I had an excuse not to see Frank. Horrible as that sounded, Frank was started to get a bit suffocating lately. Always hugging, kissing, gripping my hand. He was such a lovesick puppy, and it was really getting annoying and it was kinda pathetic. But, Frank wasn't always tagging along. He had his own life, and I was grateful all the times he'd say he was going out to hang out with Quinn and play guitar. I urged him to.

My mom was even nice enough to let Ray come over. She knew I wouldn't get distracted around Ray like I would with Frank. Hanging out with Ray was such a relief, because he was a laid-back individual. He looked intimidating, but he was a really down to earth guy.

"So, how's the relationship?" he asked sheepishly. Ray Toro wasn't homophobic, but I could tell it still weirded him out.

"Mmm, it's going," I said, shrugging, flipping aimlessly through the channels. "I think Frank's planning our five month anniversary or something."

"Whoa, can't believe it's been that long," Ray commented, and he looked surprised.

Christ, had it nearly been five months?

Just at that exact moment, I heard the front door open. I glanced at my watch, figuring it must be my brother. He usually came home on the weekends around this time.

He looked mildly surprised to see Ray and me sitting on the couch when he walked in.

"You're home," he said with a hint of surprise.

I nodded. "Erm? Is this bad? Planning on bringing someone home?" God, please don't let it be that.

"Nah, just you're never home anymore," he said, sitting down beside me, dipping his hand in the bag of chips in my hands. I shot him a mock-glare. He ignored it and acknowledged Ray. "Hey Ray. Long time no see."

Gerard annoyingly ruffled my hair before standing up and disappearing into the kitchen, and I could hear the familiar noises of him working the coffee machine. Coffee was an ex-alcoholic and drug addict's best friend, right?

"Mikey, come in the kitchen a sec?"

I groaned inwardly. Gerard was rare to institute a conversation, it usually happened naturally. I wordlessly handed the bag to Ray, giving him a 'I'll be right back' look.

"What's up?" I asked casually, sitting down at the table.

He eyed me carefully. "So, care to explain last week?"

I tensed. Damn, I was hoping he had forgotten about that /incident/. Lie, lie, lie your fucking ass off, I thought vehemently.

"Gee, that night was really shitty, I really don't like to think about it," I managed to grit out. Well, that was pretty much true. I really tried my best not to think about on that night.

"Mmm," he said, a thoughtful expression adorning his face.

/Fuck/.

"Listen, Mikey, I'm not gonna lecture you and tell you what not to do. I'm not the best role model for that kind of shit. But yeah, whatever shit you're involved in, be fucking careful, ok? I've watched too many friends get too caught up in whatever shit they were in, and before they knew it, they only had one option left," he said. His tone was light, but I could tell he was worried. Gerard was never one for serious conversation. I think the last serious conversation we might've had was when Grandma Elena died, when he went through his whole phase of what's life and death...it was really depressing and I was a bit worried at the time, but he pulled himself through that. And when I think about it, that's when it really all began with Gerard's addiction.

"Really," I said, hoping I looked convincing enough. "It was just a one time thing. How did you guess?"

"Well, Mikey, your eyes were fucking dilated for one," he laughed, sitting beside me. "You suck at being subtle." His tone softened, and I flinched when his hand grazed the side of my face, thinking he was going to slap me. I gulped down that unbidden thoughts of Bert from my mind, because Gerard would never hurt me. I knew that, so why did I flinch?

Gerard noticed and I watched his facial expression turn even more worried. He settled his hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly, "I'm just worried about you. Man, it's so strange not being around everyday. We used to hang out everyday, you remember? Now, it's completely different. I really miss that, Mikey."

I gave him a weak smile. "Yeah, me too."

He smiled back, releasing his hand on me. "I'll let you get back to Ray. We'll hang out next weekend, ok?"

"Yeah, promise," I said, eagerly returning to the living room, relieved. Wasn't as bad as I thought.

Ray scooted over to allow me room, fixing me a knowing look. "Lecture?"

"Nah, Gerard doesn't lecture, he's too cool for that," I responded.

"Man, you're so lucky," Ray said, shaking his head, "my brother never cared that much for me. I think he thought I was his personal punching bag."

I couldn't help but smile. Yeah, my brother was a good brother. I always thought of him as my best friend, someone I could confide in. Gerard never picked me like most older brothers did. I guess I was pretty lucky.

I sighed, suddenly feeling really guilty for lying to Gerard. I could've told him the truth. But I didn't. I don't think I've ever lied to him. It hurt.

**

"Come back for more?" Bert laughed at me the next day. I really hated myself for being so fucking addicted that I reduced myself to this. But none of that mattered as much as it used to.

I think the drugs were starting to cloud my logic. Judgment. My inhibitions. Yeah, sure, drugs did that. But even when I wasn't using, I was craving it, thinking about it, dreaming about it. Fuck, fuck. I was so screwed because drugs meant Bert, and Bert meant sex, and usually sex would be rough and it was getting more and more harder to explain to Frank why we /couldn't/. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I don't think this excuse is gonna last me for much longer.

"Yeah, but I have money," I said, standing up straighter. Bert wouldn't turn down money, would he?

Bert smirked at me. "Mikey, you know your money is no use for me."

I gulped, stuttering, "B-but, I--"

He put his hand on my lips, laughing at me, "If anything, I'm being very generous. It's not too much to ask for, is it? Besides, you get to save your money. You're the one benefiting out of this."

I swallowed the bile in my throat, dislodging his hand. "Bert, I really just--"

His gaze hardened. "Well, do you want the drugs or not, Mikey? If you did, you wouldn't be arguing right now. Most people would jump at this opportunity. This shit isn't cheap you know. But I like you, Mikey. So I'm being very generous with you."

He glared at me, giving me a disgusted look. I sighed, pocketing the money. I wanted to walk out right now, but I already lost my diginity already by even showing up. I already let him have me, I didn't think it mattered much anyway. I let him do whatever he wanted as long as he held up his end of the bargain.

"Just, don't...not like last time, ok?" I pleaded, looking up at him, still remembering how much pain I was in afterwards.

He smiled at me. "Nah, of course not."

He walked further into the hallway, guiding me to the living room. He sat down at the couch, moving the clutter off. He reached for my hand, jerking me roughly towards the couch. I tried to control my breathing, because every touch disgusted me. He told me to sit, and I obeyed. He smiled at me, sitting down beside me, his hands eagerly petting me, rubbing me through my clothes. I gave him a weary look, wondering why he was focusing so much on foreplay. Bert was a strange mood today, I thought.

"Mikey, you have a really pretty mouth," he whispered in my ear.

/Pretty mouth/. Didn't take much to figure out what he meant by that. Oral sex wasn't something we had covered yet, and I was hoping to prolong it as long as possible. So much for that.

"I mean, you really have such soft lips," Bert rattled on, smiling at me. "I was thinking how much I want your mouth. Like, really hard. You know. I want to choke you."

"Bert," I protested, shaking my head. The thought scared me. I knew he wouldn't be gentle, or care if I couldn't breathe. Choke me, he seemed to have a fixation for choking me. /Sick bastard/. Or maybe I was the sick one, for letting him do all these horrible to me. I felt my stomach lurch at the thought.

He pushed his hands on my shoulders and I felt my knees buckle to the ground, silently pleading with him with my eyes. Strange, I think I rather have him fuck me than this.

"Can't, you like, tie me up or something?" I asked, watching hopelessly as he undid his pants, until they pooled around his ankles.

"Oh, Mikey, you sick doll, I promise to tie you up next time," he said in a low voice, looking at me expectantly with a calculating gaze. I leaned forward, curling my hand around his semi-hard on. With mechanical movements, I stroked him to full hardness, feeling nauseated at the prospect of what was to come.

"Mikey, now," Bert commanded above me, his hand pushing down on my head. I leaned down, engulfing him in my mouth, swirling my tongue along the tip, concencreting on all the spots that I knew worked well on Frank, that I remembered felt the best to me. Maybe if I made him come sooner, he wouldn't have the opportunity...

He bucked his hips upwards, forcing me to take more than I was used to, I reflexively pulled away, but he kept a firm grip on my head, forcing me in place as he thrusted deeper in my mouth, and I put a hand on his hip, hoping to still his harsh movements that made my eyes water.

"Don't touch me!" he barked, throwing my hand off, pulling hard on my hair, and I closed my eyes, concentrating on breathing hard through my nose so I wouldn't pass out from the bruality of his thrusts. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.

"God, you look so hot down there," He grunted out, both his hands now tangled in my hair, guiding my movements. "I love fucking your mouth, Mikey. I think we should do more often. Aah, fuck, yess..." He bucked his hips upwards in an unexpected manner, and I gagged. He was forced to release his grip on me as I fought not to throw up. I coughed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

He sighed angrily. "C'mon, Mikey. Stop being such a fucking baby. God, all you do is fucking cry."

I angril wiped away the tears that had cascaded down my face. "Fuck you, I can't fucking /breathe/."

"If you were doing it /right/, you wouldn't," he bit out at me harshly.

I lowered my head again, letting him slip past my lips, letting him continue. I swallowed against the urge to vomit every time he brushed the back of my throat, squeezing my eyes shut, praying for this to end soon. I was so relieved when I felt him come in my mouth, and luckily I could barely taste it since he was so far down my throat. He sighed loudly in content, releasing his grip on my hair. I stood up on shaky legs.

He grinned, pulling me down the couch with him. "You're amazing."

He handed me what I needed, and I gratefully left, not looking back.

**

"Mikey!" Gerard called loudly.

I jumped, instantly stuffing the evidence under my pillowcase, feeling my heart race from the fear of getting caught. Dammit, I just gotten home and had just swallowed two of them. Gerard had perfect timing.

He knocked on my door, opening it, "Mikey, are you deaf? I've been calling you for five minutes. Mom needs help with the groceries."

I just clamed down my breathing. "Ok."

I stood up and followed him outside. My mom passed me on the way in, smiling at me and reaching up to smooth out my unruly hair. I winced.

It only took two trips for Gerard and me to finish getting everything inside. I closed the back door of the car, going inside after him.

"I'm really worried about your brother, I think you should talk to him," my mother said before I stepped back inside the kitchen, and did what any teenager would do in this situation: Eavesdropped.

"Mom, I already talked to him," Gerard said, opening the cabinets and putting away the food. Better him than me, Mom always yelled at me for putting things in the wrong cabinets. I did it on purpose, really. "He's not some little kid, Mom. He's sixteen, I think it's pretty normal for any normal sixteen year old's grades to drop a little. Nothing abnormal."

I could tell my mother was pursing her lips at my brother. Poor Gerard. But he wasn't selling me out, and I couldn't help but be a little thankful. He could've told Mom about that night. But he didn't. I sighed in relief. Last thing I needed was Mom thinking I was doing drugs.

"Gerard, I just...worried about him. Your father is always gone on business trips, and you're gone to college, Mikey needs a male figure, you know? I'm just saying, I grounded him so he isn't always gone. I never saw him! And now he's always home, locked up in his room--"

"Cutting his wrists, perhaps?" my brother snickered. "Mom, you worry too much."

"Gerard! Stop talking about such morbid things!" my mother snapped, but I could tell she was smiling. I rolled my eyes.

**
“You look sick, Mikey,” Frank commented a couple of weeks later when I went over to ‘play video games’.

I scoffed. “Thanks, Frank. Nice to see you, too.”

He smiled apologetically. “I was just worried. God, I missed you.”

I laughed when he reached over to hug me, planting kisses along my neck. “Frank, it’s only been two weeks. Besides, you've seen me at school all the time."“

“But that's completely different!” He smiled, pulling away and cupping my cheek. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I mean, I want to be good to you, you know? I just care, Mikey. A lot. About you.”

I felt a smile on my lips at that, and I nodded. “You are, Frank. More than good, more than you should be.”

Frank beamed, closing the distance and kissing me gently, cupping the back of my head and pulling me towards him, deepening our kiss—

“Frank--” his mother walked in the kitchen, nearly dropping the mail in her hands.

We sprung apart. Frank sputtered—“Mom!”

Mrs. Iero sighed and shook her head, “Nice to see you, Mikey. It's been awhile.”

Then she looked closer, “Darling, are you alright? You look a bit pale.”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Iero,” I insisted, wishing people would stop doing that.

She nodded, “If you need any medicine, don’t hesitate to ask. Frank, I’m going to the store. Do you need anything?”

“Erm, no, thanks,” he said sheepishly, still embarrassed.

She chuckled. “You two behave.”

“Yes, ma’am,” we both said.

The second she closed the door, Frank practically pounced on me, kissing me and telling me how much he loved me. Flattering me with phrases of adoration and kisses---

“Mmm, Frankie—“I moaned, when his hand crept under my shirt.

“I’m sorry, I’m not going too fast, am I? I've just missed this so much,” he asked carefully, pulling back and searching my face. I blushed and shook my head, pulling at his hand and guiding us both into the confines of his bedroom.

Once we stepped inside, I promptly closed the door and pushed him against it, kissing him heatedly as I could, pouring all my heart into him, gripping the sides of his head, tugging his bottom lip with my teeth and he moaned. Mmm, I knew he must’ve liked it, Bert did it to me all the time—

“Oh god, Mikey,” Frank breathed heavily, his hands trailing up and down my sides, tugging my shirt up and I shivered at his touch.

“You taste so good,” I told him, and he laughed, telling me that was the cheesiest pick-up line ever.

“Pick-up line? We’ve been dating for five months now,” I said, and he giggled, pulling our lips back together.

Somehow we managed not to tumble to his bed, and we both lay on our sides, heavily making out like we always did. I quickly tugged off his shirt and attacked his chest with kisses, my hands reaching the top of his pants and unbuckling them and he arched beneath me.

I was in the middle of reaching inside his boxers when he stopped me and pulled me back up.

“I rather--,” he gulped and looked at me shyly. “Please? You always do that to me.”

“But…alright,” I breathed shallowly, turning onto my back and letting him tug my pants open and pulling down the zipper. He kissed me at the same time his hand met my length.

“You make the hottest noises, Mikey,” he told me; swallowing my moans as his hand worked me.

I shuddered, moaning wantonly, wishing he would speed up his pace. “Frank, please…”

I let my head fall back and closed my eyes tightly as Frank brought me to the edge, his hand steadily moving up and down, his tongue in my mouth. I broke away from the kiss and gasped. I didn’t want to come this way.

“Frankie, please,” I asked now, tugging at his belt. “Fuck me.”

He stopped his hand in surprise. “What?”

I moaned in embarrassment, blinking and realizing what I had said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound so—“

Cheap. Slutty. I wanted to say, but the words stilled in my mouth.

Frank blinked at me. “No, it’s just. I didn’t think you were ready.”

I felt a gush of warmth spread over me at those words. And a bucket of cold guilt, too.

“I mean, I want to, yeah,” I said, “I want to…make love. You know. You’re my boyfriend.”

“Geez, Mikey, I know that,” Frank rolled his eyes at me. “I’m just not sure if we’re ready for t-that.”

I looked at him in annoyance. “Ready? Handjobs and blowjobs? What more is it if we—“

“Fuck?” spat Frank harshly. “It’s a big deal, Mikey! I mean…I didn’t think…”

“No, I understand,” I said softly. “I just…I really want to. But if you’re not ready.”

“No, I am! I just…didn’t quite picture it happening like this,” he said softly, leaning down to kiss me in apology. “I always thought you be the one…to…you know. Top.”

Oh. I blinked.

“Frank, are you serious?”

He laughed. “Well, yeah. But if you want to try it this way, I’ll do it.”

I nodded eagerly. “I want to feel you inside me.”

“God, Mikey, when did you learn to talk so dirty?” he moaned, his eyes lit up with lust and I smiled.

“I don’t know,” I said playfully, tugging at his belt. “Does that turn you on, Mr. Iero?”

“Stop that, I don’t want to think of my Dad right now,” laughed Frank, attacking my neck with light kisses, as our hands tugged at each other’s clothing in a feral manner.

Somehow we managed to find a bottle of lotion.

“I play guitar, you know, and my hands get calluses—“ he defended.

I just snorted. “Sure, Frank.”

He giggled at me, “Shut up, Mikers.”

Frank distracted me with a heated kiss as he nudged a finger inside me, and my breath hitch at the intrusion, but I clenched at his forearms, telling him it was ok to go on. He slowly added a second finger, constantly searching my face for grimace and stopping completely when I flinched.

“You ok?” he breathed heavily, and I struck at how concern and loving he was being. I was so used to Bert practically shoving into me, not once looking at my face for pain…

“It’s ok, Frank, please go on,” I urged, feeling my length soften, feeling impatient at how slow he was being. God, please hurry…

He inserted a third finger, moving his fingers around a bit, biting his lip in concentration. I gave him an approval nod to pull his fingers out and helped him coat his cock with the lotion, he braced his palms on either side of me and I reached down to assist him, guiding his cock inside me. I let out a soft moan when he was completely inside and I shuddered when he moved slightly to adjust.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” he gushed, mistaken my shudder for one of pain and not pleasure.

I couldn’t help but smile at his naivety. It was endearing and I knew he was a virgin, and for some reason, that made me love him even more, as wrong as that may sounded.

“It’s ok, Frankie, just go on,” I continued to urge, gripping onto his shoulders as he pulled out slowly and gently pushed back in, biting his lip, his eyelashes fluttering, “Oh fuck…Mikey…”

I smiled, squeezing him tighter in my arms. “Does it feel good?”

He panted, pulling out and thrusting inside, deep enough for me to feel him brush my prostate and I let out a moan.

“God Mikey…I don’t think…ahh” he blurted out, gasping loudly and dropping his head onto my chest, shuddering as he continued to move slowly in and out.

I just lay underneath him, holding him and kissing his brow, not caring if he wasn’t angling himself right, because this was about him now. Not me. I continued to bathe his face in soft kisses as he thrust inside me, and finally, with a loud cry, he came inside me, filling me up with his substance. He shuddered one last time and pulled out slowly before lying down beside me, a pleased look on his face.

I curled a hand around my length and managed to bring myself to the edge, sighing in satisfaction when I finally came over my hand. Frank turned and looked at me in guilt.

“Oh fuck, Mikey, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“ he said, looking at me.

I smiled. “It’s ok. It was your first time. Next time we’ll get it right.”

“God, you’re so amazing, you know that? I love you so much,” Frank breathed in my ear, kissing my jaw, his fingertips playing with my hair.

God, he wouldn’t be claiming that not if he knew who I was with two days ago.

“No, I’m not, but you are,” I told him honestly, laying my head on his chest.

I fell asleep with his hands in my hair and his heartbeat under my ear. It was really luring and comforting and it was the first time I slept in ages.