FicWad

I had it plan to a perfect T; it was really quite sickening and horrible. Frank’s mother and him worked the weekends on their family restaurant. My parents usually went out of town on weekends, and my brother, well, it was hard to plan around his schedule.

That particular morning I invited Bert over. And we basically fucked in every bedroom, living room room, the kitchen, the closets---

Both high as kites.

This particular morning my brother decided for the first time to come home from college in the morning, not the late afternoon or at night like he usually did.

I was in the middle of giving a Bert a blowjob as we took a shower together when I heard an unexpected irritated knock at the door, startling us both.

“What the fuck, Michael? You’ve been in there since I got home,” said Gerard in an annoyed tone.

Fuuck. I looked at Bert in apology for not finishing him off and hurriedly running out the shower, unable to think. I was so fucking…high right now. I couldn’t think straight.

Bert pulled me by my arm before I opened the door and made the biggest mistake of my life.

“You’re fucking gone, aren’t you? I’m sure running in the hallway butt naked is the smartest move, /Michael/,” he teased me, and I couldn’t help but hate it when he said my full name. Really, only Gerard said to me. And my mother, whenever she was pissed at me.

I wrestled my arm away from him, sitting down on the tile floor, wishing the feeling would go away.

“Just put on your clothes on, and distract him enough for me to get to your room and get my clothes, and I’ll leave, alright?” Bert said to me calmly, pulling me up by my arms, and handing me a towel.

“But Bert—“

“Listen, Mikey, do you want to get caught?” he hissed.

“He’ll know!” I moaned, “I’m fucking high! Look at my fucking eyes—“

Bert slapped me, hard. And I stared at him, stunned.

“Just shut the fuck up, Mikey, and do what I say, or I swear to fucking God—“

The doorknob jingled. “Mikey!”

“Your brother is an impatient motherfucker,” Bert commented quietly.

I still stared. His expression softened. He kissed me, and I just stood up, unsure what that was supposed to mean.

“I couldn’t figure out how to get you out your stupor,” he explained, hushing me outside the door.

Luckily Gerard was in the kitchen, making coffee and swearing at the machine. I manage to find some jeans and a shirt before walking into the kitchen, smiling.

“I didn’t expect you so soon,” I said softly.

Gerard looked at me, smiling. “I thought I surprise you. Didn’t you get my voice mail? I told you today we’ll hang out.”

“Oh,” was all I could say, before sitting down at the table. “What do you have planned?”

“Remember last month how you complained about not getting tickets for the Smashing Pumpkins? I got the tickets two months ago but wanted to surprise you,” he said, sipping his coffee.

“What?” I said, nearly falling off my chair. “Are you fucking serious?”

Gerard eyed me in amusement. “No, I’m lying.”

“Fuck you, Gee,” I laughed, running a hand through my damp hair.

“So go get dressed. Hurry up, we need to leave soon if we’re gonna make it on time,” he told me over his back as he went downstairs to his room in the basement.

**

The concert was amazing. So amazing that I was grinning the whole time. Billy Corgan was the best performer I had ever witnessed.

"Man, he still has it," Gerard commented, chewing noisily on his hotdog. I watched in amusement. "How old is he now?"

"Nearly forty," I replied, taking a sip of my coke.

"Man, I hope when I'm fucking forty I can still move like that," Gerard joked, smiling at me. I smiled back, realizing how much I missed this. It was nice to get away from my troubles back home, get away and focus on something better.

"Well, I hope you're not bald like him," I teased. "I'll still love you, though."

He rolled his eyes. "As if. We've been blessed on both sides of the family. Ain't no way either one of us is ever gonna go bald."

"You know, I'm not sure," I said, "they say it skips a generation--"

"Then your genes are in danger, not mine," he replied. "I have more volume in my hair than you."

I snorted. "Volume? That's really gay of you to say."

"So says the one who has a little ickle /boyfriend/," Gerard teased, and I winced. I really didn't like to think of Frank as my boyfriend, even though he is, but still.

"Shuttup."

"You guys are so adorable. Always pulling apart when I walk in. As if I don't know what dirty things you guys were doing. Mom should start inspecting the sofa--"

I blushed, wishing Gerard would get off this subject. Frank and me never did much more than kiss on the living room sofa. It's my room where all the action happened. Not like I wanted him to know that.

"I'm just joking, Mikey!" Gerard said, noticing my sour expression. "I'm just joking. No need to get mad over it--"

"I'm not mad, ok?" I snapped.

"Ok," he said, throwing away his plate in the garbage, walking back up to the arena. "You're more bitchy than some of my ex-girlfriends."

I shoved him to the side. I really hated when he brought up that word. It reminded me how jealous I could get. I still was. But Gerard wasn't dating anyone now, was he?

"So, you have a girlfriend now?"

"Nah, girls are too high maintenance," Gerard sighed. "Plus I'm dead broke. They expect the guys to pay for everything. You got it made with Frank. I'm sure you guys split everything 50/50, huh?"

I shrugged. "We take turns, I guess, yeah."

Gerard wasn't gay. That much I knew, but he always told me, love is love, no matter what the sex. If he fell in love with me, would it weird him out more because I was a guy or his brother? I shook those unwanted thoughts away. As if that would ever happen.

**

By the time we got in the car, I immediately fell asleep from exhaustion. I felt my body shake. I hadn’t taken any pills since this morning, but luckily I took a few with me. I managed to swallow them when Gerard wasn’t thinking, instantly feel relieved. I climbed into the back seat and slept, letting the music in the background lure me to sleep, my ears still numb from the concert.

“Hey Mikey,” Gerard whispered to me, his mouth close to my ear, I shivered. He shook me gently. “We’re home, kiddo.”

I mumbled, rolling over to face him, blurry-eyed. “Ok. I’m up.”

He helped me sit up, pulling me out the car and onto the driveway. We walked inside the house, flipping on the switch. I smiled at him gratefully as I climbed up the up the stairs to my room.

Gerard followed me, saying he was worried I was going to trip over myself and die, laughing as I staggered.

“Thanks Gee,” I said to him, going into my room and collapsing on my bed. I was so lethargic, he had to help move me underneath the covers, pulling them back up and telling me good night.

**
Somebody should’ve warned me excessive drug usage resulted in ghastly pale skin; I almost rivaled Gerard in that department.

Frank, poor Frankie, playing the dutifull role of a good boyfriend to the worst boyfriend on the planet.

“Oh, sweetie, I hope you get better soon,” he told me after school, as we walked hand in hand to my house. I gripped his hand tightly.

“Yeah, me too,” I said softly, concentrating on the ground.

Frank stopped walking, and I followed suit, glancing up at him curiously. He had a sad expression on his face and suddenly he engulfed me into a bone-crushing embrace. I was taken back by the sobs he emitted, muffled against my shirt.

“Frankie, wha--?”

Frank pulled away, wiping his eyes. “I just…Mikey. I’m scared. I feel as life I’m losing you to something! I just don’t know what! I’m so…confused, Mikey. I thought everything was fine and suddenly you’re so sick and…I love you.”

“I know, I know, baby, I’m fine,” I said, overwhelmed by his confession. Frank looked terrible when he cried, it was heartwrenching to witness. Because he smiled so damn much, it seemed so wrong for him to cry.

“No, you’re not,” Frank said firmly, threading his fingers with mine, bringing out clasped hands together and kissing my knuckles. “Talk to me, Mikey. I’ll listen; I’ll do whatever you want. I’m yours, and you’re mine. And…we can get through this, ok?”

“Frankie,” I sighed, “I’m fine. You worry too much. Of course everything is all right.”

“Ok, I’m sorry. I’m just overrating, I didn’t see you this entire weekend. But mom really needs help at the restaurant and I—“

“I understand,” I broke in, smiling nervously. I brushed our lips together, and Frank eagerly reciprocated, slowly and sensually kissing me back, his hand reaching up to grip my hair gently, and I sighed into the kiss, feeling the warmth and love radiating off of him. It was so romantic; it made me feel more sick because I couldn't return the feelings.

We broke off our kiss, and I eagerly tugged him in the direction of my house, locking the door behind us and leading him to my bedroom, directing me to sit down on the edge of my bed as I pulled off my shirt, climbing on top of him, kissing him hard, and Frank gasped into my mouth in surprise, his hands settling on my hips, rubbing the skin of back gently, murmuring against our lips how much he loved me and cared for me.

I pulled away, panting heavily, rocking in his lap, eliciting a moan from him. His eyes fluttered close and he looked flushed. He looked so desirable like that. I loved these moments the best. I realized I hadn't been with Frank in a long time, and I did sort of miss him.

I realized why. I loved being with Bert because he was rough and demanding. But he humilated me, though. Frank would never do that, he was gentle and caring and sometimes I needed that. I needed a break from the roughness. Frank provided that perfectly.

“Frankie, baby, can…I…can I ride you?” I asked nervously, biting my lip. I’ve wanted to try this position for ages, but I knew Bert would never let me; he made it know he dominated the relationship in every way. Even if he would be still be inside me, he wouldn’t want me on top. Period.

Frank’s eyes flashed open in surprise, his mouth dropping, a red taint on his cheeks. So adorable. “I—y-yeah. If you want. I mean, will it hurt?”

I couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from my throat. I petted his cheek fondly, brushing my lips against his. “No, baby. I’ve heard…it’s supposed to stimulate the person on top more. You won’t hurt me, I promise.”

Frank nodded, kissing me and nodded. I smiled in triumph, sitting up and eagerly undoing my jeans, pulling them off, followed by my boxers. Frank did the same, eagerly shedding his clothes and I told him softly to lay back, and he flushed red, nodding.

I climbed on top of him, reaching the lubricant in my drawer, pulling it out and spurted a good amount in the palm of my hand, reaching down to cover him with it, watching as he moaned, bucking his hips upward. I pulled away when I felt he was prepared enough and braced myself on top of him, biting my lip and let him slide inside, feeling my breath catch in my throat when he was completely inside, hitting me in a different angle, and it felt so deliciously good.

“Aah...Mikey…” Frank breathed out from underneath me, gripping my hips now, his face red with strain.

I accommodated him, rolling my hips, and he groaned and I felt a jolt of pleasure shoot up my spine, the angle was perfection.

We soon developed a rhythm. I thrust down simulatiously as he thrusted up. And soon I was writhing in pleasure, bracing my hands on the mattress below me, quickening my hips and rolling my hips in whatever direction I wanted to achieve that feeling. It was much easier to find my prostate in this position, for once, I had complete control and it was so thrilling, and so erotic to look down to see Frank underneath me, whispering phrases of adoration to me. I leaned down, kissing him, nibbling on his bottom lip, and he gripped the back of my head, thrusting upwards into me as he kissed him hungrily, groaning into my mouth,

“Oh fuck, Mikey, you’re so…good. Ah fuck, I’m not gonna—“

He sent me a worried look, chewing his lip. “Mikey, I—“

I shook my head, straightening out and moving faster, gasping, “No, Frank, it’s ok. Come inside. Please, I want to feel you.”

He groaned, his grip on my hips tightening as I moved over him, wanting to help him reach his climax, and I nearly came when I felt his hand reach around my cock, curling his hand around it and pumping it in sync with my downward movements.

I let out a weak groan when I felt myself come, sobbing in release. Frank followed a second later with a whimper, clenching me tightly and saying my name followed by,
“Love you. So fucking much.”

I kissed him, climbing off his lap and cradling his face in my hands, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his chin, and lastly, his lips.

“I know, baby, I know,” I whispered, feeling sleep overcoming me. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

“And you’re amazing,” he mumbled back to me, smiling at me softly, gathering me in his arms. “Promise me it’ll always be like this? We belong together, Mikey. I don’t know…I never want this to end.”

Frank always openly expressed how we wanted us to be together. Forever. And sometimes it was scary to realize how much power I had over him, how much he depended on me.

“I can’t make promises, but I can try. Really hard, just for you,” I smiled, hoping he wasn’t a mind reader. I was lying. And rather he knew it or not, I was destroying him. Silently killing him.

I couldn’t keep up with this charade forever.