Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Will Not Kiss you
Why had Corey told the guys on the tour to stay away from me ? if he knew we were gunna break up ? i really dont understand . These thoughts kept running around in my head over and over again , while i sat with Gerard.
He seemed like a nice enough dude , but just as fucked up as i was. suddenly his voice interupted my thoughts.
" Hey Elle , what you thinking ? " He looked upto the sky.
" Nothing , nothing at all pan " i smirked at him .
" soooo that dude ? from the Iron Massacre .... hes not your boyfriend? ..... " Gerard was watching me as i stood up , i brushed the dirt from my ass and walked towards the stage , completley ignoring Gerards question. He started to call after me , and i heard him , i just didnt reply . Its almost like the words lingered in the air , but never quite made it to my brain.
Soon i heard him stand and attempt to run after me , but to be honest i think all that alcolhol and cocaine got to gerard before he got to me . And he just ended up falling to the ground.I turned to face him , and saw him lead on the ground.
" you would be doing yourself a favour by getting up Gerard ! " i shouted to him , i saw frankie comming across in the distance and decided to leave him in the capable hands of him . He didn;t need me . for some reason i felt i needed to talk to Corey.
But was now really the best of times ? Its like 4am And im fucked up beyond belief . Corey is probabaly sleeping , in fact i know Corey is sleeping . Hes the sensible one.
I walked towards the tour bus and got on as quietley as possible , when i walked on i was greeted , by Ross , he was sat playing video games in his boxers.
" Cant sleep ? " i asked him .
" mmm yeah Elle , fucked up ? " he asked in an accusing tone . I pretended to be offended , but Ross could see right through it .
" what you playing ? ........ is it any good ? ..... why are you ignoring me Ross ? " I looked at him , as he set down the controller.
" im disapointed Elle , i thought you would be better than this .... i thought i knew you but it turns out i really dont. " he says looking into my eyes.
I take a seat next to him suddenly feeling guilty . Did they all feel the same as Corey ? where they all full of shame ?.I know Iron Massacre was the sensible band on taste of chaos , but i never knew how badly i let them down. Ross never said it , not directly , but his eyes told me alot. I could see some pain behind them ive never seen before.I hang my head in shame , because its the only thing i can do .
" you know what Elle , Corey needs you to be together on this tour more than ever . and i dont really think you know the pain your causing him by being so fucked up all the time. " His voice starts to shake and i see a tear run down his face.
Why did Corey need me if i was so fucked up ? Why was now any different ? it was always me who needed him . never the ever way around.
" i.....i cant see how i can help him Ross , He finished everything today , its not me he wants." i say to him with my eyes still on the ground where they belong.
" you know what Elle..... knowing what i know ... you are the most selfish bitch i know ... you are so fucking stupid ! " Ross's whispers into my face i can feel his hot breath on my cheek.
What does he mean ? knowing what he knows....
"What dont i know Ross ? , i mean seriously come on ? what dont i know " ..... i ask him , looking up trying to be as strong and the come down was going to let me.
" i cant tell you .... its not right ... im not the one to tell you Elle ..... but know this .... Corey loves you more than life itself .... he will do fucking anything for you . what is it going to take to make you realise that huh ? . Because im telling you now .... one day when you wake up and hes really not there... where will you go ? .... who will save your ass when you have no money ? .... Who will give you a coat when your cold? .... Who will remind you to take the trash out .... ? ...... Think about it Elle ... " Ross stands and leaves the room.
All i could do was sit in shock , Corey wanted to end it . He said so himself. well he didnt i just assumed i mean thats how it looked right ? .
My thoughts were again interupted by more footsteps from the van , This time i didn't look up to find out who they belonged too ....
He seemed like a nice enough dude , but just as fucked up as i was. suddenly his voice interupted my thoughts.
" Hey Elle , what you thinking ? " He looked upto the sky.
" Nothing , nothing at all pan " i smirked at him .
" soooo that dude ? from the Iron Massacre .... hes not your boyfriend? ..... " Gerard was watching me as i stood up , i brushed the dirt from my ass and walked towards the stage , completley ignoring Gerards question. He started to call after me , and i heard him , i just didnt reply . Its almost like the words lingered in the air , but never quite made it to my brain.
Soon i heard him stand and attempt to run after me , but to be honest i think all that alcolhol and cocaine got to gerard before he got to me . And he just ended up falling to the ground.I turned to face him , and saw him lead on the ground.
" you would be doing yourself a favour by getting up Gerard ! " i shouted to him , i saw frankie comming across in the distance and decided to leave him in the capable hands of him . He didn;t need me . for some reason i felt i needed to talk to Corey.
But was now really the best of times ? Its like 4am And im fucked up beyond belief . Corey is probabaly sleeping , in fact i know Corey is sleeping . Hes the sensible one.
I walked towards the tour bus and got on as quietley as possible , when i walked on i was greeted , by Ross , he was sat playing video games in his boxers.
" Cant sleep ? " i asked him .
" mmm yeah Elle , fucked up ? " he asked in an accusing tone . I pretended to be offended , but Ross could see right through it .
" what you playing ? ........ is it any good ? ..... why are you ignoring me Ross ? " I looked at him , as he set down the controller.
" im disapointed Elle , i thought you would be better than this .... i thought i knew you but it turns out i really dont. " he says looking into my eyes.
I take a seat next to him suddenly feeling guilty . Did they all feel the same as Corey ? where they all full of shame ?.I know Iron Massacre was the sensible band on taste of chaos , but i never knew how badly i let them down. Ross never said it , not directly , but his eyes told me alot. I could see some pain behind them ive never seen before.I hang my head in shame , because its the only thing i can do .
" you know what Elle , Corey needs you to be together on this tour more than ever . and i dont really think you know the pain your causing him by being so fucked up all the time. " His voice starts to shake and i see a tear run down his face.
Why did Corey need me if i was so fucked up ? Why was now any different ? it was always me who needed him . never the ever way around.
" i.....i cant see how i can help him Ross , He finished everything today , its not me he wants." i say to him with my eyes still on the ground where they belong.
" you know what Elle..... knowing what i know ... you are the most selfish bitch i know ... you are so fucking stupid ! " Ross's whispers into my face i can feel his hot breath on my cheek.
What does he mean ? knowing what he knows....
"What dont i know Ross ? , i mean seriously come on ? what dont i know " ..... i ask him , looking up trying to be as strong and the come down was going to let me.
" i cant tell you .... its not right ... im not the one to tell you Elle ..... but know this .... Corey loves you more than life itself .... he will do fucking anything for you . what is it going to take to make you realise that huh ? . Because im telling you now .... one day when you wake up and hes really not there... where will you go ? .... who will save your ass when you have no money ? .... Who will give you a coat when your cold? .... Who will remind you to take the trash out .... ? ...... Think about it Elle ... " Ross stands and leaves the room.
All i could do was sit in shock , Corey wanted to end it . He said so himself. well he didnt i just assumed i mean thats how it looked right ? .
My thoughts were again interupted by more footsteps from the van , This time i didn't look up to find out who they belonged too ....
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