FicWad

"Christina, have you looked at yourself?!" my mother screams as she stands in the kitchen of the apartment.

"This place is a mess and you're a wreck! The dishes aren't done, the trash is all over the floor, and you look like you haven't showered in a week," she said with an exasperated sigh.

Granted, she was pretty much right. It has been probably four days since I showered last. I guess I just haven't cared. My stringy brown hair falls across my face as I hide my bloodshot eyes from my mother. She knows something isn't right, but she doesn't know what it is yet. I could never tell her about my situation.

"Tina, are you even listening to me?"

I glace at my mother with glazed-over green eyes; I had zoned out. Fuck, I hate when that happens I think to myself.

"Sweetheart, I just don't understand you anymore. You used to be such a good girl; now I can't tell you from a bum on the streets."

She shakes her head and covers her face with her hands before walking into the livingroom. As she goes to sit on the couch, she stops short.

Uh oh...

"Tina, what is this?," she questions as she picks up the remains of last night's high.

"It's nothing mom; just a medicine dropper," I hang my head to hide my lying eyes.

"Why is it on the table?"

"I wasn't feeling well. Kyle got some cough syrup for me and I forgot to take it back to the kitchen," I say, hoping she'll let it go.

"Alright," she says, "please try to pick up after yourself."Score! She bought it. Or maybe she just didn't want to know the real truth. Either way, I'm off the hook.

I see her getting ready to leave, but before she walks out the door she turns to me.

"Tina, I don't know what's gotten into you, but it needs to change before you get hurt."

And with that, she leaves.

Plopping down on the couch, I run my fingers through my hair. Wow, it really is messy. I sigh before lighting a cigarette and turning on the tv. As I channel surf, it doesn't take long before I find that nothing worthwhile is on. Or maybe it's just me; nothing seems worthwhile anymore.

Even before I can shut off the television, Kyle walks through the door. Only he's not alone.

"Oh shit! Tina, I- I didn't know you were home already," I see the nervousness in his gaze.

"Yeah...mom came over, remember? Who's that?," I motion to the curvy little blonde at his side.

I see him hesitate before speaking.

"She's, uh, just- just a friend," I watch her glare at him.

"Uh huh. Get the fuck outta my apartment."

"But-"

"But nothing. So this is why you come home late so often. You're an asshole Kyle. Get out. I'll put your shit in some boxes and leave them downstairs."

With that, I shut the door in their faces. I hear them yelling back and forth in the hallway. I know for certain the other tenants aren't appreciating it. I guess I should be mad, but somehow all I can think about is how I don't have to share anymore. With that, in lue of having to deal with the anger I felt, I pull out the elastic band and drift off for a while.

Several Hours Later...

I wake up and have no clue what time it is. All I can hear is the ringing in my head. Maybe I took too much... I finally manage to make out what the clock says. 2 a.m.; perfect. Now how the fuck am I supposed to sleep tonight and be ready for work the next day? Fuck it, I won't go in. Instead, I find myself staring blankly at the black television screen. I already miss getting high with someone else. That's how I stayed awake for the ride. Oh well; his loss, not mine. I walk into the kitchen to grab a soda, but somehow I don't make it there. The room begins to spin and everything goes black.

I wake up in a hospital room. The white lights hurt my eyes. How the fuck did I get here anyway? And then I hear a voice. Mom's voice.

"Oh sweetie, I was so worried about you."

"Mom," I manage to choke out, "how did I get here?"

"Well, I felt bad about hassling you yesterday, so I tried to call and apologize. When I didn't get an answer, I got worried. Nobody had seen you around. So I came up there and found you on the floor."

"Oh," I said, hanging my head.

"Tina, when was the last time you ate? The doctor said your electrolytes were really low and that you're severely underweight. They said they were going to keep you for a few days just to get you leveled back out."

"What? No, Mom, you know how much I hate hospitals. I don't need to be here. Please tell them; I'll go home with you or something. I'll be fine. I can't stay here."

I didn't get to finish protesting before a grave looking nurse walked in.

"Well, Ms. Lindenburg we have all the tests back."

"Wait, you ran tests on me?"

"Well, it's standard for all cases like your's. Anyway, it seems that there was quite a bit of diamorphine in your system."

I shoot a nervous glance at my mother.

My mom looks at the nurse, "Diamorphine? What's that?"

"Well, Mrs. Lindenburg-"

I cut her off.

"Nurse, I would prefer if it were a private matter."

Mom glaces over to me, obviously confused as to why I would want to keep my medical analysis to myself.

"But-"

"No. I want it to be private."

"Miss, I really can't do that. Your mother brought you here and is now responsible for your well-being. I am required to disclose the information to her."

"But I'm 22 years old!"

"Yes, but you were brought here involuntarily, therefore she has a right to know."

I fall back on my pillow in defeat.

"Now, as I was saying, diamorphine is the chemical term for heroin."

"Heroin?!" my mother shouts in disbelief. "I knew there was something wrong; why didn't you say anything to me?"

"And what was I going to say mother? 'Oh yeah, by the way, I'm a heroin junkie'? I'm sure you would have loved that."

"Well, it's better than finding out when you end up in the hospital."

And this is when I break. Uncontrolably, I begin crying and shaking. The nurse grabs my shoulder and holds me to the bed. I feel a needle in my arm and within thirty seconds, I'm out. Well, at least I don't have to deal with my mother.