FicWad

I wait patiently on the couch for Gerard to arrive. I would have gladly met him at the diner, but seeing as Kyle took the car, I'm pretty much fucked trasportation-wise. So I channel surf with a cigarette in my hand, fighting the temptation to get high. I always get anxious when I go out with someone, even though it's not an actual "date." Unfortunately, heroin has always been my escape, and now I have to pretend like I'm getting better. This really sucks.

Within about ten minutes, the buzzer sounds and the obnoxious voice on the other end let's me know Gerard is here. I press the button to let him up and I hear a knock at the door a few minutes later.

I open it and there he is. His black hair is tucked messily behind his ears and his hazel eyes show genuine compassion. I happen to glace down at his hands and he has a small flower for me; no one has ever given me a flower before. I can feel tears sting my eyes as he hands it to me.

"I know it's not much," he begins, "and I know it's not a "date" date, but I thought it might make you feel better."

I melt.

"Gerard, I- I don't know what to say. This is the sweetest thing anybody has ever done."

"Well, it's not much and it's not that great-"

"No, it's wonderful. Daisies have always been my favorite," I said in completely honesty. It was true; I had loved them since I was a little girl.

"Um, well, are you ready?" he says, peering into the livingroom.

"Yeah, lemme grab my coat."

We walk downstairs together and he leads me to his car. It's nothing fancy; just a small honda, but it's cute. We reach the diner and sit at the booth.

After ordering, we just talk about everything we've been doing since high school. He's an artist for some company in New York; I feel like a failure next to him. Thankfully, our food comes before he can pry too far into my life.

Upon finishing the meal, I invite him back to the apartment to hang out for a while. Naturally he agrees and we head home. We go in and sit down. I find myself offering him a beer and I grab one for myself. Within about half and hour of awkwardness, I finally hear him utter the words I was dreading.

"So Christina, not that I'm trying to invade or anything, but, um, what- what happened? How did you end up in the hospital?"

For a moment I hesitate, trying to find a delicate way of putting it. It doesn't take long before I give it up though.

"Would you like to know the truth?"

He nods.

"Gerard, while everybody else seems to have built nice lives for themselves, I ended up with a shitty boyfriend in this hell-hole of a town. I work a crappy job and can barely make ends meet. On top of that, I'm a junkie."

He stares at me before speaking again.

"A- a junkie?"

"Yeah, a true blue heroin addict."

"Oh...hm..." at this point he doesn't know what to say.

"Can I ask you a question?," he glaces at me.

"I guess."

"What's it like?"

I stare at him in disbelief.

"What's what like?"

"Heroin," he seems a little embarrassed.

"Well," I begin informatively, "it's kinda like a roller coaster. It's a lot of fun in the beginning, but by the end, it makes you sick. And not physically sick; mentally. Before you know it, you wake up every day and you kick yourself. It's not as fun as it used to be. So you start trying to find that fun again. So you use more and more, hoping for the same kind of high. But then you fall on your ass all over again."

I watch him blink and then stare at his hands for a minute.

"Would- would you opposed to letting me try it?"

By this point, my jaw drops. I've never had anyone ask to try it. Normally people just look at me like a piece of shit and walk off. But this guy wanted to try it.

"I really don't know Gerard. It's not something most people want to get involved with."

"No, I'm sure. I want to do this," he says with assertiveness.

I let out a sigh and lay my head in my hands.

"One condition: you say nothing to my mother should you ever see her again."

He looks and me and nods.

With that, I walk into the bedroom and grab everything. I lay it out on the table and mix everything up.

"How do you do it?"

"It's simple. I've got it mixed, so all you have to do is fill up the suringe, wrap the tourniquet around your arm, find a nice vein, and let it rip."

"This is gonna sound stupid, but can you help me?"

"Yeah," I say before drawing a small amount into the suringe for him. He's a newbie so I don't give him much. I thump it to get the air bubbles to the top and press on the bottom the suringe to let the air out. I grab his arm and wrap the elastic band around it. He watches intently. I pick a vein and insert the needle. He flinches. I release the liquid into his arm and let go of the elastic. Within seconds I see a grin on his face.

"Wow," I hear him say quietly, "I've never in my whole life felt like this. This is just, wow..."

I prepare the rest of it for myself and shoot up. We both sit on the couch and just look at each other. He seems completely content. I walk to the kitchen to grab a glass of water; he'll want it later. When I come back, his head is hanging to the side.

"Fuck!," I grab him and start shaking him as hard as my small body can.

"Goddammit. I didn't give him that much!"

By this point I'm slapping him across the face trying to get him to regain consciousness. They say it's common to go in and out of consciousness, but I've never had to deal with it before. After several minutes, he finally comes back around and I hand him the water. Here I go ruining another person...



/Well, that's it for this chapter. Lemme know what you think and I promise to update again soon!/