Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Classified: Need Of Help
As the adrenaline rush died down, so did Gerard's heartbeat as he slumped against the bathroom door. He left the lock open in the fear that it would get jammed. Groaning, he put his hands over his ears and hoped that Adam had gone home.
Freezing cold and teeth chattering, he studied the white porcelain patterns on the celiling above him, trying to find regularity and pattern. He muttered aloud to himself, "Why did I kiss him? Why did I betray Mikey? I want Mikey. I wanna see Mikey..."
Crouching down and tucking his long, pale legs into his body, Gerard groaned into his knees. He could hear a sound coming from next door. It sounded like music, the kind of pop music that made you want to get up and sing. It sounded like McFly. But Gerard didn't feel like getting up and singing.The song grew louder and louder, those obnoxious voices filling his head with their words, and it became so loud the room began to vibrate. The walls began to pound in rhythm, and this only made Gerard feel worse.
Not knowing what else to do, Gerard went insane. Reaching for the sharpest thing he could find, he grabbed one of Eve's razors and began slashing away at his arms. As the blade caressed his flesh, his arms turned red and felt a vast desire for more. Laughing loudly to himself, but also crying from the pain, he watched with fascination as the years of pain flowed down towards the white floor, creating what looked like a perfect contrast in Gerard's delusional state.
Splash, splash, splash. His blood hit the floor, and suddenly there in front of Gerard was a girl - not any ordinary girl, either. She looked almost dead - her skin looked so pale and fragile it could be mistaken for paper. Her eyes, somewhat pale grey in colour, bore into Gerard's own green eyes. Her hair was so blonde it was almost white, and her lips were a sort of blueish shade. She had a lopsided look about her and was wearing a white dress.
"Gerard, I know where Mikey is. He's not really dead. It's all... in your head." she had the voice of a small child, although she looked about eighteen.
Gerard stared at her, swinging from side to side, unable to balance himself because of his decreasing state of consciousness. A small red lake surrounded him. The room grew a little darker, and with some of the little energy he had left, he crawled over to her and gripped a hold on her ankle. Fiercely, he looked up at her.
"What have you done with him?" he managed to say, but the girl dismissed his words and stared at the bathroom door.
"Where is he, god damn it?!" he yelled with all his might.
"You'll have to wait and find out." the girl began to fade, and so did Gerard's perception of the room around him. The surroundings grew dark, his wrists and arms were still bleeding, and with a final attempt to grab a hold of the girl disappearing in front of him, Gerard fell to the floor, unconscious in a pool of his own blood.
Gerard felt as though he was floating. He was in another white room, only this one had nothing in it but a teddy bear in one corner. On the other side of the room was the mysterious girl he had seen in the bathroom, only she was not moving. This time she wore all black and white stripes and she was carrying a small box.
Gerard tried to speak. "What's in your box?" he meant to ask her, but the words did not want to come out. He tried again, only to hear no sound coming out. No matter how hard he tried, the words never came. It made him feel slightly paranoid.
"You want to see what's in my box?" the girl said. Once again, she had no real facial expression or interest in whether Gerard wanted to know or not.
Gerard knew it was no use, he wanted to ask the girl where Mikey was, but the words never came. He wondered to himself if this is what being dead felt like. Was he dead?
Would he be able to be with Mikey, if he had died? Was this what the girl had meant?
"If you really, really want to see what's in my box, you'll have to wake up." again, she began to fade. "Wake up, Gerard, please!"
The ground began to shake violently underneath him. The white room began to turn grey with every shake and eventually to black, when all of a sudden Gerard opened his eyes and was back in the bathroom. He was covered in blood which had turned sticky.
"Wake up, Gerard, please!" he heard the voice again, only he looked up and found himself in Eve's arms.
"Gerard, thank god you're alive! I'll never leave you again!" she pulled him up into a rough hug, and Gerard was not quite sure what to make of it. Confusedly, he hugged her back, although it hurt when his arms came into contact with her.
"I can't trust you again on your own in this house, Gerard, and I can't be here all the time. You were doing so well, and I was fixing you up a small place nearby. But you're not cured, Gerard, I'll have to take you back to the hospital..."
Gerard cursed at himself. He would have to go back there, back to that torturous place, and it was his own fault.
A few hours later, Gerard had gotten all his things together. The journey back to the hospital was painfully silent, and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Eventually, Eve broke the silence.
"I didn't want to do this, Gerard. I enjoyed having you here. You gave me company and responsibility, but I guess I began to ignore the repsonsibility I had, which was looking after you. I was out all the time and I shouldn't have left you on your own here. I'm so, so sorry, baby." a tear rolled down her face, and Gerard watched her with fascination. He had no idea of what to say.
They eventually got to the mental hospital, and a real sense of depression washed over Gerard as they walked into reception. Same place, still ugly and horrible as ever, and it would be the same four walls he was stuck between for most of his waking and sleeping hours.
Eve hugged Gerard one last time, and kissed his cheek, and left Gerard outside his room. He ran the room card through the reader, and walked in. Everything was still the same - the marks he made on the wall, his bed was made incredibly neatly, nothing had changed about the room whatsoever. And there, in the far right corner was Frankie, who dropped the book he was reading and hugged Gerard with all his might.
Freezing cold and teeth chattering, he studied the white porcelain patterns on the celiling above him, trying to find regularity and pattern. He muttered aloud to himself, "Why did I kiss him? Why did I betray Mikey? I want Mikey. I wanna see Mikey..."
Crouching down and tucking his long, pale legs into his body, Gerard groaned into his knees. He could hear a sound coming from next door. It sounded like music, the kind of pop music that made you want to get up and sing. It sounded like McFly. But Gerard didn't feel like getting up and singing.The song grew louder and louder, those obnoxious voices filling his head with their words, and it became so loud the room began to vibrate. The walls began to pound in rhythm, and this only made Gerard feel worse.
Not knowing what else to do, Gerard went insane. Reaching for the sharpest thing he could find, he grabbed one of Eve's razors and began slashing away at his arms. As the blade caressed his flesh, his arms turned red and felt a vast desire for more. Laughing loudly to himself, but also crying from the pain, he watched with fascination as the years of pain flowed down towards the white floor, creating what looked like a perfect contrast in Gerard's delusional state.
Splash, splash, splash. His blood hit the floor, and suddenly there in front of Gerard was a girl - not any ordinary girl, either. She looked almost dead - her skin looked so pale and fragile it could be mistaken for paper. Her eyes, somewhat pale grey in colour, bore into Gerard's own green eyes. Her hair was so blonde it was almost white, and her lips were a sort of blueish shade. She had a lopsided look about her and was wearing a white dress.
"Gerard, I know where Mikey is. He's not really dead. It's all... in your head." she had the voice of a small child, although she looked about eighteen.
Gerard stared at her, swinging from side to side, unable to balance himself because of his decreasing state of consciousness. A small red lake surrounded him. The room grew a little darker, and with some of the little energy he had left, he crawled over to her and gripped a hold on her ankle. Fiercely, he looked up at her.
"What have you done with him?" he managed to say, but the girl dismissed his words and stared at the bathroom door.
"Where is he, god damn it?!" he yelled with all his might.
"You'll have to wait and find out." the girl began to fade, and so did Gerard's perception of the room around him. The surroundings grew dark, his wrists and arms were still bleeding, and with a final attempt to grab a hold of the girl disappearing in front of him, Gerard fell to the floor, unconscious in a pool of his own blood.
Gerard felt as though he was floating. He was in another white room, only this one had nothing in it but a teddy bear in one corner. On the other side of the room was the mysterious girl he had seen in the bathroom, only she was not moving. This time she wore all black and white stripes and she was carrying a small box.
Gerard tried to speak. "What's in your box?" he meant to ask her, but the words did not want to come out. He tried again, only to hear no sound coming out. No matter how hard he tried, the words never came. It made him feel slightly paranoid.
"You want to see what's in my box?" the girl said. Once again, she had no real facial expression or interest in whether Gerard wanted to know or not.
Gerard knew it was no use, he wanted to ask the girl where Mikey was, but the words never came. He wondered to himself if this is what being dead felt like. Was he dead?
Would he be able to be with Mikey, if he had died? Was this what the girl had meant?
"If you really, really want to see what's in my box, you'll have to wake up." again, she began to fade. "Wake up, Gerard, please!"
The ground began to shake violently underneath him. The white room began to turn grey with every shake and eventually to black, when all of a sudden Gerard opened his eyes and was back in the bathroom. He was covered in blood which had turned sticky.
"Wake up, Gerard, please!" he heard the voice again, only he looked up and found himself in Eve's arms.
"Gerard, thank god you're alive! I'll never leave you again!" she pulled him up into a rough hug, and Gerard was not quite sure what to make of it. Confusedly, he hugged her back, although it hurt when his arms came into contact with her.
"I can't trust you again on your own in this house, Gerard, and I can't be here all the time. You were doing so well, and I was fixing you up a small place nearby. But you're not cured, Gerard, I'll have to take you back to the hospital..."
Gerard cursed at himself. He would have to go back there, back to that torturous place, and it was his own fault.
A few hours later, Gerard had gotten all his things together. The journey back to the hospital was painfully silent, and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Eventually, Eve broke the silence.
"I didn't want to do this, Gerard. I enjoyed having you here. You gave me company and responsibility, but I guess I began to ignore the repsonsibility I had, which was looking after you. I was out all the time and I shouldn't have left you on your own here. I'm so, so sorry, baby." a tear rolled down her face, and Gerard watched her with fascination. He had no idea of what to say.
They eventually got to the mental hospital, and a real sense of depression washed over Gerard as they walked into reception. Same place, still ugly and horrible as ever, and it would be the same four walls he was stuck between for most of his waking and sleeping hours.
Eve hugged Gerard one last time, and kissed his cheek, and left Gerard outside his room. He ran the room card through the reader, and walked in. Everything was still the same - the marks he made on the wall, his bed was made incredibly neatly, nothing had changed about the room whatsoever. And there, in the far right corner was Frankie, who dropped the book he was reading and hugged Gerard with all his might.
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