Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Just To Get Back In Her Arms
Just To Get Back In Her Arms
Chapter 12
Stef stumbled into her apartment and crashed on the sofa.
“I can’t believe this,” she said aloud. “Things finally seem ok and he’s leaving.” She frowned a little, but tried to think nothing of it.
After a few minutes she stood up and went to her bedroom. She put Muse quietly on her iPod and laid down in bed. “Great,” she said. “It’s 2 A.M. and I’m wide awake. What to do, what do to.”
She attempted to read a book, but found herself too distracted. Stef figured the ramblings of her mind were the result of drinking too much, but she soon found out it was more than that. Her focus shifted to the lyrics of the song that was played and she listened intently.
Forget the reckless things we’ve done
I think our lives have just begun
I think our lives have just begun
And I feel my world crumbling
And I feel my life crumbling
And I feel my soul crumbling away
And falling away
Falling away
With you
“Shit... he’s leaving,” Stef stated, as if the thought just occurred to her. Tears began to freely fall from her eyes as she stared at the blank TV in front of her. She didn’t realize how hard she had begun crying until she finally attempted to wipe her tears away.
“I... I have to call him. He can’t just go. I need to tell him.” She stood up and nearly ran to the living room where she picked up her cell phone. She flipped it open and stared at the screen. “Fuck, what am I going to say?” She threw her cell phone on the sofa and began pacing in her living room.
“Gerard, you can’t leave us this way because we’re not done talking,” she said, speaking out loud to herself. “Because this could be something really great and if you leave like this you’ll be taking a part of me with you. But you can’t do that unless I know whether or not that means something to you, cause if not I’ll be even more lost than I was before. And I don’t care about everything that has happened in the past because I love... you?” Stef stopped pacing and her eyes lit up after her new-found revelation. “Shit, I love him!”
She rushed to the sofa to pick up her phone again but before she did, someone knocked on her door.
“What on earth...”
She opened the door to find Gerard standing there. For a moment she just looked at him, baffled as to why he was there. Eventually she spoke up.
“Your hair is wet. Is it raining?”
He nodded. “Your face is wet. Were you crying?”
“Why are you here?” she asked, ignoring his question.
“Why were you crying?”
“Because I was... now why are you here?”
“I had to talk to you more... tell you something. I’ve been walking around in the pouring rain just thinking and thinking about anything and everything that came into my head. I didn’t feel right leaving with the way things are.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Good, I wanted to talk to you, too!”
“Ok, well just let me go first.”
“Fine, what is it?”
Gerard looked down at his feet and shuffled them a bit. “I can’t be your friend,” he said. The smile on Stef’s face dropped.
“What?”
“I told you, I was thinking a lot and I realized that the reason why I got so mad about everything you told me is the exact reason why I can’t be your friend.”
Stef pursed her lips, not believing what she was hearing. “I thought we talked about this not even 2 hours ago. I thought we were putting everything behind us and moving on!” He put his index finger gently on her lips, indicating her to stop talking.
“Let me finish, Stef. Please?”
She nodded her head yes.
“Thank you.” He paused for a moment. “Christina,” he eventually said. “I’ve always liked that name because you can have so many nicknames for it- Chris, Chrissy, Christy, Tina... I don’t know why I ever spent so much time thinking about that, but I did. Christina Rose.” Stef was baffled as to where he was going with this. He continued. “But for a boy, definitely Gerard. I don’t mean to sound cocky, but great people like myself are named Gerard. It’s a pretty powerful name if you ask me.” He slightly smiled at her. “And you... you would have been a great mother. I’m not so sure I would have been a great father, but you would have been excellent.”
Tears welled up in Stef’s eyes as she remembered the hardest decision of her life. “Those are nice names,” she said, “but I don’t understand.”
Gerard grabbed hold of her hand. “I can’t be your friend because I can’t stand the thought of any other man touching you or kissing you or holding you or laying with you and looking into your eyes. I don’t want to be your best friend that you talk to about all the men you meet and the dates you go on. I want to be the one you say you’re waiting for when I’m halfway around the world. I want to be the one going on dates with you and touching you and holding you. And if I can’t do that... I wouldn’t know what else to do.”
She squeezed his hand. “Please tell me you’re being completely serious.”
“The reason I got so mad was because everything you told me... that’s what I always wanted with you. And even though at the time I had no idea you were pregnant, for that short moment we had it. And I know this has been my fault and I took the anger with myself out on you. But I’m asking for that chance again. To be your lover, your boyfriend, your person... whatever you want to call me. I love you, Stef. And I need to know you love me, too.”
“Stay with me tonight,” she said.
Gerard raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”
“You said you wanted to be the one to touch me and hold me. So touch me, hold me, talk to me, get to know me again. And stay with me.”
“I think that can be arranged.”
“Oh... and I do,” she added.
“You do what?”
“You said that you needed to know that I love you, too. And I’m letting you know that I do.”
He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Well I’m glad because I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t. I just can’t believe that this is happening... never in a million years would I think we’d ever be like this.”
“Me either,” she said. “Can you promise me one thing?”
“What is it babe?”
“Just promise me when I wake up in the morning, you’ll be there this time.”
He smiled and, without saying anything else, crashed his lips onto hers.
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Chapter 12
Stef stumbled into her apartment and crashed on the sofa.
“I can’t believe this,” she said aloud. “Things finally seem ok and he’s leaving.” She frowned a little, but tried to think nothing of it.
After a few minutes she stood up and went to her bedroom. She put Muse quietly on her iPod and laid down in bed. “Great,” she said. “It’s 2 A.M. and I’m wide awake. What to do, what do to.”
She attempted to read a book, but found herself too distracted. Stef figured the ramblings of her mind were the result of drinking too much, but she soon found out it was more than that. Her focus shifted to the lyrics of the song that was played and she listened intently.
Forget the reckless things we’ve done
I think our lives have just begun
I think our lives have just begun
And I feel my world crumbling
And I feel my life crumbling
And I feel my soul crumbling away
And falling away
Falling away
With you
“Shit... he’s leaving,” Stef stated, as if the thought just occurred to her. Tears began to freely fall from her eyes as she stared at the blank TV in front of her. She didn’t realize how hard she had begun crying until she finally attempted to wipe her tears away.
“I... I have to call him. He can’t just go. I need to tell him.” She stood up and nearly ran to the living room where she picked up her cell phone. She flipped it open and stared at the screen. “Fuck, what am I going to say?” She threw her cell phone on the sofa and began pacing in her living room.
“Gerard, you can’t leave us this way because we’re not done talking,” she said, speaking out loud to herself. “Because this could be something really great and if you leave like this you’ll be taking a part of me with you. But you can’t do that unless I know whether or not that means something to you, cause if not I’ll be even more lost than I was before. And I don’t care about everything that has happened in the past because I love... you?” Stef stopped pacing and her eyes lit up after her new-found revelation. “Shit, I love him!”
She rushed to the sofa to pick up her phone again but before she did, someone knocked on her door.
“What on earth...”
She opened the door to find Gerard standing there. For a moment she just looked at him, baffled as to why he was there. Eventually she spoke up.
“Your hair is wet. Is it raining?”
He nodded. “Your face is wet. Were you crying?”
“Why are you here?” she asked, ignoring his question.
“Why were you crying?”
“Because I was... now why are you here?”
“I had to talk to you more... tell you something. I’ve been walking around in the pouring rain just thinking and thinking about anything and everything that came into my head. I didn’t feel right leaving with the way things are.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Good, I wanted to talk to you, too!”
“Ok, well just let me go first.”
“Fine, what is it?”
Gerard looked down at his feet and shuffled them a bit. “I can’t be your friend,” he said. The smile on Stef’s face dropped.
“What?”
“I told you, I was thinking a lot and I realized that the reason why I got so mad about everything you told me is the exact reason why I can’t be your friend.”
Stef pursed her lips, not believing what she was hearing. “I thought we talked about this not even 2 hours ago. I thought we were putting everything behind us and moving on!” He put his index finger gently on her lips, indicating her to stop talking.
“Let me finish, Stef. Please?”
She nodded her head yes.
“Thank you.” He paused for a moment. “Christina,” he eventually said. “I’ve always liked that name because you can have so many nicknames for it- Chris, Chrissy, Christy, Tina... I don’t know why I ever spent so much time thinking about that, but I did. Christina Rose.” Stef was baffled as to where he was going with this. He continued. “But for a boy, definitely Gerard. I don’t mean to sound cocky, but great people like myself are named Gerard. It’s a pretty powerful name if you ask me.” He slightly smiled at her. “And you... you would have been a great mother. I’m not so sure I would have been a great father, but you would have been excellent.”
Tears welled up in Stef’s eyes as she remembered the hardest decision of her life. “Those are nice names,” she said, “but I don’t understand.”
Gerard grabbed hold of her hand. “I can’t be your friend because I can’t stand the thought of any other man touching you or kissing you or holding you or laying with you and looking into your eyes. I don’t want to be your best friend that you talk to about all the men you meet and the dates you go on. I want to be the one you say you’re waiting for when I’m halfway around the world. I want to be the one going on dates with you and touching you and holding you. And if I can’t do that... I wouldn’t know what else to do.”
She squeezed his hand. “Please tell me you’re being completely serious.”
“The reason I got so mad was because everything you told me... that’s what I always wanted with you. And even though at the time I had no idea you were pregnant, for that short moment we had it. And I know this has been my fault and I took the anger with myself out on you. But I’m asking for that chance again. To be your lover, your boyfriend, your person... whatever you want to call me. I love you, Stef. And I need to know you love me, too.”
“Stay with me tonight,” she said.
Gerard raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”
“You said you wanted to be the one to touch me and hold me. So touch me, hold me, talk to me, get to know me again. And stay with me.”
“I think that can be arranged.”
“Oh... and I do,” she added.
“You do what?”
“You said that you needed to know that I love you, too. And I’m letting you know that I do.”
He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Well I’m glad because I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t. I just can’t believe that this is happening... never in a million years would I think we’d ever be like this.”
“Me either,” she said. “Can you promise me one thing?”
“What is it babe?”
“Just promise me when I wake up in the morning, you’ll be there this time.”
He smiled and, without saying anything else, crashed his lips onto hers.
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