FicWad

The day I found out you left us, I was with my best friend. My mom called me and told me you were gone. Hah, you should have seen the wreak I was. Make-up running down my face, my eyes puffy and red, my speech was impaired and slurred. It was ridiculous really. But what else was I supposed to do? I had lost the one person in my life that related to me. The one person who I could tell almost everything to.

Come back to me, this is unconceivable
Breaking apart the ones you love
Hate runs deep for what you've done to us
Left alone through suicide...suicide

I just want to die, take away my life
lay by your side, please...

But when I found out what you did, I was infuriated. I hated you. I really did. When I was home alone, I'd always turn my head upwards, and scream. At what, I don't know. But it felt so good to do it. It felt amazing to let out my heart-felt screams. Oh yes, they were heart-felt. They were desperate cries for you to come back. Desperate for time to reverse and make everything good again. But they were all in vain.

Come back to me, this is unconceivable
Breaking apart the ones you love
Hate runs deep for what you've done to us
Left alone through suicide

Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back, but nothing will take back time.

The funeral was the worst. I couldn't create the dam to block the tears. A relentless waterfall cascading down my face. I was so upset that it was an open casket. I didn't want to have to see your face, and breakdown in front of everyone. But I did just that. Just that one look at your face and I fell to the floor, creating such a scene. Dozens of hands reached out to console me but I wouldn't take it. I screamed at them to go away. Eventually I was escorted out into the main lobby while the reception continued.

I can see just fine with you in my life,
there by my side as it starts to fade
I know this can't be right, stuck in a dream
a nightmare full of sorrow

Nightmare - full of pain [x2]

That night, after the funeral, I locked myself in my room. I looked around, just re-playing all of the memories we've had. I could feel the pressure building up behind my lids as I tried so hard to not let them fall again. I looked at the bed, remembering the time you got so high, you needed to stay somewhere so your mother wouldn't find out. I looked to my closet, remembering how I hid you the day you ran away. I remembered how complete my life was. How all I needed was you and my life was set. But now that you're gone, I feel empty and alone. I past week had gone so slow. Tormenting me. Killing me slowly. I need you here.

I look back and see the twisted road
Best friends and despair took its toll

Take away [x4]

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me, I cared for
and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me
or cry while I'm away

I screamed. I screamed as loud as I could. My throat became raw and my voice hoarse. I stomped around my room, throwing and smashing everything I could lay my hands on. My lap hit the wall, smashing into millions of little pieces. My phone base hit my mirror, shattering and splintering. I went around my room, screaming and hitting the walls. Punching holes. Ripping blinds. Tearing bedsheets. Everything in my path was doomed for good.

I raced into my bathroom, slamming the door so hard it almost splintered in half. I stared at myself in the mirror. My screams died down as I looked at the wreak I had become. My face was red from the blood rushing to head. My eyes were red and puffy from the crying. Tears stained my cheeks as more fell to replace those previous. I brought my hand to my cheeks, slightly wiping the tears away.

I sigh and I think to myself Look what you've done to me. Exactly, look what you've done to me. You've turned me into a blubbering mess. Silent tears run down my face as I open my door and walk out. I need you here, no matter what everyone else says. You were my life support and ever since you've gone, I've flat lined. But I know, no matter how hard I try, dream, or pray, you won't come back to me. I miss you, Gerard Way.

Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back, but nothing will take back time.

I can see just fine with you in my life,
there by my side as it starts to fade
I know this can't be right, stuck in a dream
a nightmare full of sorrow
[x2]