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Disclaimer: I do not own Samurai Champloo.

Author's Note: The Grumpy Mugen song should be sung to the tune of Frere Jacque.


Sake
By FrustratedPhoenix


Chapter 1: Gimme My Sake!


"Silly bitch can't hold her booze," thought Mugen and shoved another dumpling into his mouth as he watched Fuu delicately sip her drink. Disgusted, he said, "What a friggin waste of sake."

Fuu turned her flushed face towards Mugen, grinned goofily and shouted, "Mmmm, yummy!" Mugen glared at her, but Fuu giggled and began singing,

"Grumpy Face Mugen, Grumpy Face Mugen.
Is such a grump, is such a grump.
Maybe if he took a bath, he wouldn't be so grumpy.
Grump, grump, grump.
Take a bath, take a bath."

The surly pirate clenched a fist but chose to ignore her. "What's the point," he thought, "in yelling at the little idiot if she won't remember in the morning? Yep, I'll punish her when she's nice and sober." He smirked evilly at her but Fuu wrinkled her nose and began to loudly sing The Grumpy Mugen song again.

Mugen slammed his palm onto the table, and accidentally jostled Jin with his elbow. He glanced disdainfully at Jin's slumped form and scowled. "He calls himself a samurai," thought Mugen, "Hah! He didn't even drink half a jug of rice wine."

"Damn!" he fumed, "I'm gonna have to drag their drunk asses back to the room." Mugen picked his teeth with a dumpling skewer as he contemplated ditching his inebriated companions. He yanked Jin's ponytail to lift the ronin samurai's face off a half-eaten plate of food. Mugen grabbed the remaining dumplings and plopped Jin's face back onto the plate. "Why?" he thought, "Why am I always so fucking noble?"

Fuu giggled. When Mugen glared at her she raised her empty sake cup and wiggled it. "More, please."

Mugen chewed the last dumpling and swallowed. "No."

Fuu slammed her cup down and said, "Yes."

Mugen arched an eyebrow and firmly said, "No, Fuu."

"Yes, Mugen" yelled Fuu as she reached across the table and grabbed the sake jug.

"You stubborn Bitch!" shouted Mugen as he grabbed the sake bottle and tried to pry it out of her grasp. "Damn," he thought as they tugged the sake back and forth, "she has a strong grip."

"Let go of my sake you Man-whore!" shouted Fuu.

Mugen released his grip upon the bottle, grabbed Fuu's arms and growled, "What did you call me?"

The sake bottle slipped from Fuu's grasp splashing its contents on an unconscious Jin. "I called you a man-whore," she said, "Because you'll sleep with any woman as long as she has big hooters and reasonable rates." Fuu flinched as Mugen's grip upon her arms tightened. "Face it Mugen. You're a male slut."

Mugen was beyond pissed. He dragged Fuu across the tabletop, tossed her over his shoulder and stomped toward the exit of the teahouse. "Sir! Oh, Sir," exclaimed the owner of the teahouse, "You've forgotten the bill." Mugen turned and glared at the old man who wisely placed the bill in front of the comatose Jin and said, "I'm sure your friend will take care of it when he wakes up. Have a pleasant evening, Sir!"

To be continued...