Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Look Around If You're Guilty
In the middle of the night I felt a body slip in beside me. I opened my eyes to see Gerard staring back at me. Without a word he leaned forward and kissed me passionately, his lips working against mine. Part of me wondered where this sudden surge of affection came from, but as his tongue teased its way into my mouth I found I honestly didn’t give a fuck. He pulled me close to him, rubbing himself against me and sending waves of bliss through me. I closed my eyes for a moment, filling me senses with him.
A moment later the taste in my mouth changed. Instead of the sweetness and coffee that was Gerard there was alcohol and vomit. I opened my eyes and saw her on top of me, her eyes bloodshot and malicious. I pushed her away, only realising too late the mistake I had made.
“Ungrateful bastard!” she screamed, punching me on the face, “little fucker, after all I’ve done for you?” her nails dug into my flesh, tearing the fragile skin. “You’re as bad as your fucking father.” I couldn’t help crying out as she hit me over and over, her blows falling hard on to me. “Shh...” But my obvious pain didn’t make her stop; instead she attacked me more, her anger lending her strength. “You’re alright.” By this time I was sobbing, I hated to show weakness in front of her, but I couldn’t help it. “Come back to me.” She was shaking my arm, pinching the skin between her unrelenting fingers. I screamed again, but she wouldn’t stop.
Suddenly I felt a soft pressure on my lips and I opened my eyes slowly. Gerard was holding me, obviously trying to wake me up. Wake me up… it had been a dream? Horrible and realistic, but just a dream. As had the first part. I was almost disappointed; I think I could have taken everything my mother had done if those few precious moments with Gerard had been real.
“Sorry, I… I couldn’t wake you so I thought… I thought I’d try…” he trailed off. That gentle pressure, a kiss? A kiss to wake me from my nightmare, a kiss from my Prince Charming.
“No… I’m sorry for waking you. It’s probably the last thing you need,” I blundered awkwardly, overly aware of how close we were.
“It’s fine.” His breath hitched slightly in the back of his throat. He lay down next to me, taking my sweaty hand in his. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” I assured him, “just a bad dream.”
“Want to talk about it?” he asked gently.
“My mother…” I broke up, “no, not really. I’m fine.” He nodded as if he understood.
“Do you want me sleep here?” If only he knew how much that would mean to me.
“Yes.” I hadn’t meant to say that out loud, I didn’t want to be a problem. But he just squeezed my hand, smiled slowly and shut his eyes.
A moment later the taste in my mouth changed. Instead of the sweetness and coffee that was Gerard there was alcohol and vomit. I opened my eyes and saw her on top of me, her eyes bloodshot and malicious. I pushed her away, only realising too late the mistake I had made.
“Ungrateful bastard!” she screamed, punching me on the face, “little fucker, after all I’ve done for you?” her nails dug into my flesh, tearing the fragile skin. “You’re as bad as your fucking father.” I couldn’t help crying out as she hit me over and over, her blows falling hard on to me. “Shh...” But my obvious pain didn’t make her stop; instead she attacked me more, her anger lending her strength. “You’re alright.” By this time I was sobbing, I hated to show weakness in front of her, but I couldn’t help it. “Come back to me.” She was shaking my arm, pinching the skin between her unrelenting fingers. I screamed again, but she wouldn’t stop.
Suddenly I felt a soft pressure on my lips and I opened my eyes slowly. Gerard was holding me, obviously trying to wake me up. Wake me up… it had been a dream? Horrible and realistic, but just a dream. As had the first part. I was almost disappointed; I think I could have taken everything my mother had done if those few precious moments with Gerard had been real.
“Sorry, I… I couldn’t wake you so I thought… I thought I’d try…” he trailed off. That gentle pressure, a kiss? A kiss to wake me from my nightmare, a kiss from my Prince Charming.
“No… I’m sorry for waking you. It’s probably the last thing you need,” I blundered awkwardly, overly aware of how close we were.
“It’s fine.” His breath hitched slightly in the back of his throat. He lay down next to me, taking my sweaty hand in his. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” I assured him, “just a bad dream.”
“Want to talk about it?” he asked gently.
“My mother…” I broke up, “no, not really. I’m fine.” He nodded as if he understood.
“Do you want me sleep here?” If only he knew how much that would mean to me.
“Yes.” I hadn’t meant to say that out loud, I didn’t want to be a problem. But he just squeezed my hand, smiled slowly and shut his eyes.
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