Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > When Glamour Calls For Pleasure
ten: Lies & Liquor
“Because I love you, Dawn.” he said sure of himself. Her heart sunk in her chest, still pumping oxygen. She felt the adrenaline rushing throughout her body. Panicking, she said the first thing she could think of.
“I…I…I don’t love you, Spencer.”
“What?” he answered confused. Her eyes shifted to the ground, “I’m sorry, Spencer, but I just don’t know.”
He cupped her chin in his hands, gazing into her light blue eyes. “Dawn, what do you want?”
“I just don’t think we should be together. I mean.. we’re just too…”
“Too what?”
“Too… I don’t know. Look, I just don’t think this will work.” she groaned. Her real emotions were trying to overcome her, but she didn’t wanna believe it. She didn’t want to believe that she was in love with the Spencer Smith. It just couldn’t be right. He sighed exasperatedly, letting the anger latch onto his heart. Spencer stood and began to dress.
“What are you doing?” Dawn was now sitting up alert, his blanket clung to her exposed form.
“I’m leaving,” he replied monotone as he buttoned his shirt, “it seems like you don’t really need me here.”
“Spencer,” she called after him as he headed for the exit, “Spencer, come back. I didn‘t mean it in that way.”
He just continued on. “Spencer. Spencer, pleases listen.” she called from the bus door. He was already on the pavement. He stopped and faced her, his expression cruel. “Haven’t I listened enough or am I just another one-stand for your model friends to hear about?” Dawn stood there shocked as Spencer walked off in the distance. Me and my big mouth.
Rrring..
Rrring.
“Hello, you have reached Spencer Smith, but I can’t come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, number, and a message, and I’ll be sure and get back to you.” the answering machine beeped.
“Hey Spencer, baby. It’s me, Dawn. Please call me. I really wanna talk and try to make things right. I miss you, so, call me. Okay, bye.” Dawn quickly hung up the bus phone, attached it to her shirt front, and went to his bunk. Her face was bare because after he had left, she had smudged her makeup from the tears he made. After just of few hours alone, Dawn knew she had made a mistake. A complete mistake of losing Spencer just because she physically didn’t want to believe in their love. She hadn’t even eaten or slept at all. She felt so dead.
I wish I could take back everything I said. she thought to herself, hoping he could hear. No hope.
Brrring
She answered the phone so quickly. “Spencer?” she said rushed.
“No, this is Brendon. Where’s Spencer?” he asked.
“I…I.. don’t know. He’s not here. We kinda got into a fight and he left out.” Dawn explained, tears trying to fall.
“Shit,” Brendon cursed.
“I’m really sorry. I’ve been trying to call him and talk, but he’s not answering his phone.”
“If we don’t find him soon, do you know what kind of damage he can do to himself?” Brendon yelled into the earpiece.
“What do you mean?”
“Well Spencer’s been prone to have a drinking problem when depressed.” Shit.. what did I fucking do? He could practically kill himself now. Now what?
***
Shot one…
Shot two..
Shot twenty-one.
I had been at this bar for who knows how long. The world seems a little bright now from those shots. Buzz, buzz.. I pulled my phone from my jeans pocket.
Bus Phone.
Probably Dawn. All she probably wants is to lie straight to my face again, make me hurt some more. I took another shot, the alcohol stinging my neck. Mmm…that’s good. What was I on about? Oh yeah, Dawn. I mean, how could she fucking lie to me like that?
Aren’t all models whores?
Who said that?
I’m your conscience, Spencer. I’ve come to help you. Now answer me.
I think that was a little harsh. I mean, she just lied to me. She didn’t murder me or anything.
But didn’t you feel used Spencer?
Yes. But…
Then, let’s go ruin her career. After all, she might try to ruin yours.
No, I’m not that kind of person.
Oh come on Spencer. Just pretend to take her back and use her. Just like she did to you.
No! Please shut up!
I won’t until you make a choice. It’s either me or her.
I just couldn’t shut off the voice it kept annoying me, until…
“Son, son.” I looked into the face of the old bartender, “Son, are you alright?” He laid a hand on m from what I could feel.
“Get offa me!” I slurred throwing a punch at him, but missed and fell backwards. I’m so tired, maybe I’ll just close my eyes and go to hiccup, hiccup sleep. Goodnight Dawn.
“Because I love you, Dawn.” he said sure of himself. Her heart sunk in her chest, still pumping oxygen. She felt the adrenaline rushing throughout her body. Panicking, she said the first thing she could think of.
“I…I…I don’t love you, Spencer.”
“What?” he answered confused. Her eyes shifted to the ground, “I’m sorry, Spencer, but I just don’t know.”
He cupped her chin in his hands, gazing into her light blue eyes. “Dawn, what do you want?”
“I just don’t think we should be together. I mean.. we’re just too…”
“Too what?”
“Too… I don’t know. Look, I just don’t think this will work.” she groaned. Her real emotions were trying to overcome her, but she didn’t wanna believe it. She didn’t want to believe that she was in love with the Spencer Smith. It just couldn’t be right. He sighed exasperatedly, letting the anger latch onto his heart. Spencer stood and began to dress.
“What are you doing?” Dawn was now sitting up alert, his blanket clung to her exposed form.
“I’m leaving,” he replied monotone as he buttoned his shirt, “it seems like you don’t really need me here.”
“Spencer,” she called after him as he headed for the exit, “Spencer, come back. I didn‘t mean it in that way.”
He just continued on. “Spencer. Spencer, pleases listen.” she called from the bus door. He was already on the pavement. He stopped and faced her, his expression cruel. “Haven’t I listened enough or am I just another one-stand for your model friends to hear about?” Dawn stood there shocked as Spencer walked off in the distance. Me and my big mouth.
Rrring..
Rrring.
“Hello, you have reached Spencer Smith, but I can’t come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, number, and a message, and I’ll be sure and get back to you.” the answering machine beeped.
“Hey Spencer, baby. It’s me, Dawn. Please call me. I really wanna talk and try to make things right. I miss you, so, call me. Okay, bye.” Dawn quickly hung up the bus phone, attached it to her shirt front, and went to his bunk. Her face was bare because after he had left, she had smudged her makeup from the tears he made. After just of few hours alone, Dawn knew she had made a mistake. A complete mistake of losing Spencer just because she physically didn’t want to believe in their love. She hadn’t even eaten or slept at all. She felt so dead.
I wish I could take back everything I said. she thought to herself, hoping he could hear. No hope.
Brrring
She answered the phone so quickly. “Spencer?” she said rushed.
“No, this is Brendon. Where’s Spencer?” he asked.
“I…I.. don’t know. He’s not here. We kinda got into a fight and he left out.” Dawn explained, tears trying to fall.
“Shit,” Brendon cursed.
“I’m really sorry. I’ve been trying to call him and talk, but he’s not answering his phone.”
“If we don’t find him soon, do you know what kind of damage he can do to himself?” Brendon yelled into the earpiece.
“What do you mean?”
“Well Spencer’s been prone to have a drinking problem when depressed.” Shit.. what did I fucking do? He could practically kill himself now. Now what?
***
Shot one…
Shot two..
Shot twenty-one.
I had been at this bar for who knows how long. The world seems a little bright now from those shots. Buzz, buzz.. I pulled my phone from my jeans pocket.
Bus Phone.
Probably Dawn. All she probably wants is to lie straight to my face again, make me hurt some more. I took another shot, the alcohol stinging my neck. Mmm…that’s good. What was I on about? Oh yeah, Dawn. I mean, how could she fucking lie to me like that?
Aren’t all models whores?
Who said that?
I’m your conscience, Spencer. I’ve come to help you. Now answer me.
I think that was a little harsh. I mean, she just lied to me. She didn’t murder me or anything.
But didn’t you feel used Spencer?
Yes. But…
Then, let’s go ruin her career. After all, she might try to ruin yours.
No, I’m not that kind of person.
Oh come on Spencer. Just pretend to take her back and use her. Just like she did to you.
No! Please shut up!
I won’t until you make a choice. It’s either me or her.
I just couldn’t shut off the voice it kept annoying me, until…
“Son, son.” I looked into the face of the old bartender, “Son, are you alright?” He laid a hand on m from what I could feel.
“Get offa me!” I slurred throwing a punch at him, but missed and fell backwards. I’m so tired, maybe I’ll just close my eyes and go to hiccup, hiccup sleep. Goodnight Dawn.
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