Categories > Celebrities > Savage Garden > The Fortress of Silence
The Fortress of Silence
Chapter Two
P
eople sure change.
It was a lie to say he hadn’t changed. The very first glimpse of the figure walking calmly across the airport told Darren he was never the same. How much different could he be?
Or maybe… not so. He certainly was tall and gangling as ever — it reminded Darren that his first impression of him was just ‘too skinny’; and the coat he was wearing was always too fat for him. But he somewhat looked older. His hair faded from those years’ dazzling golden to a casual and natural blonde, making him more difficult to identify. Yes, five years easily age a person, Darren sighed to himself.
For five years Darren had been wondering if guilt could kill himself at last. His solo album had been a success, he had been touring around America and enjoyed being the center of attention; he had kept himself in the foreground and had been satisfied by the crowds and the applauses. But still there was something unfixed. Something that would strike him when he woke up at midnight, making him cry with hopelessness.
As a matter of fact, in the depth of his heart, he vaguely knew the cause of it. He always knew. During those rare breaks from performing and recording, he’d look out of his window and watch the passers-by walking along the road — there were parents, children, friends and couples. They couldn’t seem more ordinary, but they were together.
He was tired of being alone.
Darren shook his head and reminded himself to focus on Daniel, now pacing slowly in the square hall of the airport. He was there, and Darren finally got to see him again. This wasn’t a fantasy, everything was real. Darren questioned himself if he dared to drive straight to him, talk to him and pull him inside the car, but he soon gave up the plan because he knew just too well that one could never force Daniel into something he wasn’t willing to do. Otherwise you’d think it’s a kidnap and Darren didn’t want to be accused of robbery. He was still deep in his untidy and mixed thoughts when somebody slightly tapped on the window of his car.
‘Darren, you all right?’
Darren turned to face the tall man standing outside his car.
‘Yes, Walt, and why don’t you go and see him?’
Walter looked at him thoughtfully. ‘I recognized your car halfway on the road and I think perhaps you… would like to come along with me.’
‘No, thanks, Walt,’ Darren answered quickly. ‘He wouldn’t want to meet me.’
‘Then what are you going to do? Just watch from a distance? That’s too cruel Darren. I know you long to see him. Come on.’
‘It’s kind of you, Walt, but I’m not coming. I’ve already seen him, and I guess that’s enough. Go on, you’re making him impatient.’
*
‘I appreciate you,’ Daniel told Walter as they sat down at a table by the window in a small coffee house.
‘What for?’
‘For still remembering my favorite kind of coffee,’ a tiny smile appeared from the corner of Daniel’s mouth.
‘Yeah,’ Walter laughed lightly, and turned his eyes on the cup of Irish coffee that was steaming with heat. A mixture of dark maroon and black soaked the liquid; it was like you could never see through to the bottom of the cup but had to admit that there were always things undiscovered within it.
‘Yeah, and I also remembered the kind of whisky you like to add to it.’ Walter continued. ‘Cherry flavor, right?’
Daniel nodded. ‘Good memory, Walt.’
‘It’ll be impossible for me to forget about you.’ Walter made a matter-of-fact gesture before returning to his own cup of espresso. ‘So, how’ve you been in Brisbane?’
‘Fine,’ Daniel replied briefly. ‘Until this afternoon.’
Walter smiled. ‘What’s so bad about returning to Sydney, meeting your old friend and discovering a new talented singer?’
‘I only agreed out of sheer desperation.’
‘Come on, Dan, cheer up now. How are things in Studio Seven?’
‘Nothing much, but you know I enjoy it. Sometimes we just sit together at two or three in the morning, writing songs and recording demos.’
‘I see. But they may never storm down charts like Savage Garden used to do, eh?’
And when the last syllable slipped out Walter realized what regret feels like. He noticed Daniel’s hand stiffened and his fingers clutched the coffee spoon so tightly that his knuckles became pale. Walter internally kicked himself. Daniel remained silent for several seconds, then slowly raised his head.
‘Judging music by commercial effects is defilement to music. Fortune and fame have never been my goals, Walt, I thought you’d understand. But sometimes… they aren’t so distant as they may seem. So there must be poise inside you. When you can’t balance anymore you get away, and that’s how… how everything came to an end. The past had gone, Walt, and I can never go back again. So no more comparisons like this, Walt.’
Walter patted his forehead. ‘Look, Dan, I’m really sorry about this. Bad old habits of a puppet manipulated by the music industry, always paying too much attention on Billboard and NME. Forgive me if I hurt your feelings.’
Daniel’s solemn expression thawed to a smile. ‘Never mind, Walt. After all you’re just being frank.’
Walter seized his opportunity and cleverly changed the subject. ‘You got any plans for tonight, Dan?’
‘Nope, I haven’t even booked the hotel room.’
‘You can come to my hotel, a quiet but cosy one in the outskirts. You’d like that?’
‘All right, Walt, and thanks.’
‘Anything for a friend, Dan. Let’s go for the audition, it’s just about time — I’m sure he won’t disappoint you.’
*
It was already midnight when they got back to the hotel.
Daniel had been so tired that he kept silent all the way in Walter’s car. When they entered the hotel room he immediately collapsed into the soft couch sitting in the living room.
‘For God’s sake, Walt, how did you get through all this time?’ When he finally opened his mouth to speak, Walter found that his voice had become sort of hoarse.
‘I dunno, and you look hell, Dan,’ He looked at Daniel with concern and handed him a glass of water. ‘How did the audition go?’
‘Funny you should ask!’ Daniel took the glass and answered bitterly. ‘Walter, I swear I’ll never set foot in the record room again if you don’t call off those bloody reporters.’
Walter gaped. ‘Reporters? What are they doing there?’
‘As soon as I stepped inside they started firing questions at me, asking why I “chose” to return… I only got rid of them when it was dinner time.’
‘Dan, that’s outrageous and I didn’t expect,’ Walter frowned.
‘I know you didn’t,’ Daniel stated simply.
‘I promise this won’t happen again. I never thought it would turn out to be such a mess.’
‘It wasn’t your fault, Walt… Gosh, my stomach isn’t helping at all. Maybe the water has been too cold for me.’
‘Same old stomachache problem?’ Walter sighed. ‘I can’t apologize enough, making you stressed out like this. Just lie down and rest, Dan, I’ll get the room service for you.’
*
Walter noticed the light in Darren’s room was still on when he got back for his own room.
He wrenched the door open.
Darren was sitting behind his desk, reading a book. ‘Walter? Haven’t you gone to bed?’ He asked in astonishment when he saw Walter came in.
‘Same question for you.’
‘I can’t sleep. I don’t know what’s got into me.’ Darren closed his book. ‘Haven’t been able to concentrate all day.’
Walter stared at him.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ Darren asked, puzzled, after not getting any response.
‘Stop pretending you don’t know what’s going on,’ Walter replied crisply, causing Darren to fall silent in return.
‘How’s Daniel?’ Finally Darren asked, lowering his head. ‘I need to see him.’
‘Not now. He’s not feeling well at the moment.’
‘What’s wrong?’ Worries flowed in Darren’s expressive blue eyes when he raised his head quickly.
‘Just tensed and frustrated. I made him go to bed. You’d better leave him alone until he gets better tomorrow.’
‘Yes, of course.’ Darren crossed his fingers.
‘Sleep well, Darren,’ Walter turned to walk out. ‘Goodnight… and good luck.’
‘Thanks, Walt,’
‘Don’t mention it,’ and with this Walter paused. ‘Yes — don’t forget to lock your door or anybody could get in.’
Chapter Two
P
eople sure change.
It was a lie to say he hadn’t changed. The very first glimpse of the figure walking calmly across the airport told Darren he was never the same. How much different could he be?
Or maybe… not so. He certainly was tall and gangling as ever — it reminded Darren that his first impression of him was just ‘too skinny’; and the coat he was wearing was always too fat for him. But he somewhat looked older. His hair faded from those years’ dazzling golden to a casual and natural blonde, making him more difficult to identify. Yes, five years easily age a person, Darren sighed to himself.
For five years Darren had been wondering if guilt could kill himself at last. His solo album had been a success, he had been touring around America and enjoyed being the center of attention; he had kept himself in the foreground and had been satisfied by the crowds and the applauses. But still there was something unfixed. Something that would strike him when he woke up at midnight, making him cry with hopelessness.
As a matter of fact, in the depth of his heart, he vaguely knew the cause of it. He always knew. During those rare breaks from performing and recording, he’d look out of his window and watch the passers-by walking along the road — there were parents, children, friends and couples. They couldn’t seem more ordinary, but they were together.
He was tired of being alone.
Darren shook his head and reminded himself to focus on Daniel, now pacing slowly in the square hall of the airport. He was there, and Darren finally got to see him again. This wasn’t a fantasy, everything was real. Darren questioned himself if he dared to drive straight to him, talk to him and pull him inside the car, but he soon gave up the plan because he knew just too well that one could never force Daniel into something he wasn’t willing to do. Otherwise you’d think it’s a kidnap and Darren didn’t want to be accused of robbery. He was still deep in his untidy and mixed thoughts when somebody slightly tapped on the window of his car.
‘Darren, you all right?’
Darren turned to face the tall man standing outside his car.
‘Yes, Walt, and why don’t you go and see him?’
Walter looked at him thoughtfully. ‘I recognized your car halfway on the road and I think perhaps you… would like to come along with me.’
‘No, thanks, Walt,’ Darren answered quickly. ‘He wouldn’t want to meet me.’
‘Then what are you going to do? Just watch from a distance? That’s too cruel Darren. I know you long to see him. Come on.’
‘It’s kind of you, Walt, but I’m not coming. I’ve already seen him, and I guess that’s enough. Go on, you’re making him impatient.’
*
‘I appreciate you,’ Daniel told Walter as they sat down at a table by the window in a small coffee house.
‘What for?’
‘For still remembering my favorite kind of coffee,’ a tiny smile appeared from the corner of Daniel’s mouth.
‘Yeah,’ Walter laughed lightly, and turned his eyes on the cup of Irish coffee that was steaming with heat. A mixture of dark maroon and black soaked the liquid; it was like you could never see through to the bottom of the cup but had to admit that there were always things undiscovered within it.
‘Yeah, and I also remembered the kind of whisky you like to add to it.’ Walter continued. ‘Cherry flavor, right?’
Daniel nodded. ‘Good memory, Walt.’
‘It’ll be impossible for me to forget about you.’ Walter made a matter-of-fact gesture before returning to his own cup of espresso. ‘So, how’ve you been in Brisbane?’
‘Fine,’ Daniel replied briefly. ‘Until this afternoon.’
Walter smiled. ‘What’s so bad about returning to Sydney, meeting your old friend and discovering a new talented singer?’
‘I only agreed out of sheer desperation.’
‘Come on, Dan, cheer up now. How are things in Studio Seven?’
‘Nothing much, but you know I enjoy it. Sometimes we just sit together at two or three in the morning, writing songs and recording demos.’
‘I see. But they may never storm down charts like Savage Garden used to do, eh?’
And when the last syllable slipped out Walter realized what regret feels like. He noticed Daniel’s hand stiffened and his fingers clutched the coffee spoon so tightly that his knuckles became pale. Walter internally kicked himself. Daniel remained silent for several seconds, then slowly raised his head.
‘Judging music by commercial effects is defilement to music. Fortune and fame have never been my goals, Walt, I thought you’d understand. But sometimes… they aren’t so distant as they may seem. So there must be poise inside you. When you can’t balance anymore you get away, and that’s how… how everything came to an end. The past had gone, Walt, and I can never go back again. So no more comparisons like this, Walt.’
Walter patted his forehead. ‘Look, Dan, I’m really sorry about this. Bad old habits of a puppet manipulated by the music industry, always paying too much attention on Billboard and NME. Forgive me if I hurt your feelings.’
Daniel’s solemn expression thawed to a smile. ‘Never mind, Walt. After all you’re just being frank.’
Walter seized his opportunity and cleverly changed the subject. ‘You got any plans for tonight, Dan?’
‘Nope, I haven’t even booked the hotel room.’
‘You can come to my hotel, a quiet but cosy one in the outskirts. You’d like that?’
‘All right, Walt, and thanks.’
‘Anything for a friend, Dan. Let’s go for the audition, it’s just about time — I’m sure he won’t disappoint you.’
*
It was already midnight when they got back to the hotel.
Daniel had been so tired that he kept silent all the way in Walter’s car. When they entered the hotel room he immediately collapsed into the soft couch sitting in the living room.
‘For God’s sake, Walt, how did you get through all this time?’ When he finally opened his mouth to speak, Walter found that his voice had become sort of hoarse.
‘I dunno, and you look hell, Dan,’ He looked at Daniel with concern and handed him a glass of water. ‘How did the audition go?’
‘Funny you should ask!’ Daniel took the glass and answered bitterly. ‘Walter, I swear I’ll never set foot in the record room again if you don’t call off those bloody reporters.’
Walter gaped. ‘Reporters? What are they doing there?’
‘As soon as I stepped inside they started firing questions at me, asking why I “chose” to return… I only got rid of them when it was dinner time.’
‘Dan, that’s outrageous and I didn’t expect,’ Walter frowned.
‘I know you didn’t,’ Daniel stated simply.
‘I promise this won’t happen again. I never thought it would turn out to be such a mess.’
‘It wasn’t your fault, Walt… Gosh, my stomach isn’t helping at all. Maybe the water has been too cold for me.’
‘Same old stomachache problem?’ Walter sighed. ‘I can’t apologize enough, making you stressed out like this. Just lie down and rest, Dan, I’ll get the room service for you.’
*
Walter noticed the light in Darren’s room was still on when he got back for his own room.
He wrenched the door open.
Darren was sitting behind his desk, reading a book. ‘Walter? Haven’t you gone to bed?’ He asked in astonishment when he saw Walter came in.
‘Same question for you.’
‘I can’t sleep. I don’t know what’s got into me.’ Darren closed his book. ‘Haven’t been able to concentrate all day.’
Walter stared at him.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ Darren asked, puzzled, after not getting any response.
‘Stop pretending you don’t know what’s going on,’ Walter replied crisply, causing Darren to fall silent in return.
‘How’s Daniel?’ Finally Darren asked, lowering his head. ‘I need to see him.’
‘Not now. He’s not feeling well at the moment.’
‘What’s wrong?’ Worries flowed in Darren’s expressive blue eyes when he raised his head quickly.
‘Just tensed and frustrated. I made him go to bed. You’d better leave him alone until he gets better tomorrow.’
‘Yes, of course.’ Darren crossed his fingers.
‘Sleep well, Darren,’ Walter turned to walk out. ‘Goodnight… and good luck.’
‘Thanks, Walt,’
‘Don’t mention it,’ and with this Walter paused. ‘Yes — don’t forget to lock your door or anybody could get in.’
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