FicWad

He who has a strong enough why to live can bear almost any how.
Frierich Nietsche



"Ne, Soubi..."

"Hmm?" Ritsuka heard a rustle of the grass as Soubi turned his head to look at him, from whre he lay on the ground besides him. He kept his own eyes focused on the sky, one finger idly rubbing against the camera they had just finished filling with memories.

"Do you believe in good and evil?"

There was a soft chuckle. "Such a serious question, Ritsuka." A thoughtful pause. "Hmm. Evil... evil is a name people give to things that hurt or inconvenience them."

"Aren't those the same though? Evil and bad things?" Ritsuka challenged.

"To some people they might be."

"To you?"

Soubi chuckled. "No. To me, 'bad' is when someone lets those things happen to them without attempting to stop them."

"Oh." Ritsuka frowned, mildly surprised.

Soubi spoke again before he could question him though. "And you, Ritsuka? Do you believe in 'good' and 'bad'?"

"People who let people use them - that's 'bad.' And the users themselves." The answer came easily. It was one of his favourite questions to gnaw on and debate with himself. "There can only be 'good' if someone moves outside that web. If they have enough will to not allow themselves to be trapped by the illusion of moral obligation.

Ritsuka could hear the mildly ironic smile in Soubi's voice as he spoke. "Ah, so in this we are both 'masters' then.

Shocked, Ritsuka turned his head to look at him. "You know Nietzsche?"

For a moment Soubi looked slightly startled, his eyes faintly wide. Ritsuka felt a brief flare of satisfaction at being able to damage the older mans composure. "Yes," Soubi finally murmured. "Ritsuka knows him as well?"

Ritsuka shrugged his shoulders. "He's interesting."

Soubi tilted his head curiously. "Do you agree with him?"

"About somethings." Ritsuka glanced aside, fighting the urge to physically pounce on 'his' fighter and sit on him until the hunger for a good, deep, philosophical discussion that had been growing quietly since his brothers death was satisfied.

Soubi made a thoughtful noise. "You hate it when people allow others to control them."

Ritsuka shifted his eyes up to Soubi, and then away.

"Yes."

A hand touched his cheek and brought his head back around to meet Soubi's gaze. Serious, dark and deep.

"I would die for you, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka glared up at him, furious. "Don't just say something like that."

"Because," Soubi continued, as if Ritsuka had never spoken. "Ritsuka is more important to me than my will to survive."

Ritsuka froze.

Soubi smiled at him. Happily. As if he had just got the best present possible on his birthday morning. "Ritsuka is my desire. My will to power. My reason to overcome myself."

Ritsuka stared at him, shocked into silence. Soubi looked back at him, secure in the calm of his certainty.

"Soubi..."

"And you, Ritsuka? Do you know your will to power? Your 'why' for living?"

Ritsuka closed his eyes. "Seimei," he breathed.

A hand brushed across his cheek and he opened his eyes in time to see a flicker of sadness across Soubi's eyes, before the adult's expression smoothed out into his usual smile.

"You know, Ritsuka. Nietzsche also said that anything done for love is beyond good and evil."

"Soubi!"

"And he said that 'love,'" Soubi continued, as if almost to himself. "Was the spiritualization of sensuality."

Ritsuka stiffened. "And that sensuality weakens love until it is easy to pull out at the root," he snapped.

He made to get up. Soubi grabbed his wrist, pulling him down, and then moved his body over him so that Ritsuka was pinned against the ground almost before he knew what was happening.

"To be exact," Soubi murmured, "Nietzsche said that sensuality too early hastens love, so that its root is weak and easily broken."

Ritsuka fought to keep himself from blushing. Soubi's body was heavy and warm over his - it made him feel weird. He didn't like it.

"I am not a pervert," Soubi said softly, so close Ritsuka could feel his breath warm against his face. "Ritsuka is a child. I do not want to have sex with Ritsuka." A strand of his hair fell forward and slithered across Ritsuka's cheek.

Ritsuka glowered up at him, hating the blush he knew was painted across his face. "Then why do you kiss me?" He demanded.

"Because," Soubi murmured. "I love you, Ritsuka."

Familiar fury. "I told you not to say that," Ritsuka bit out. He shoved at the broad chest above him but Soubi ignored his efforts easily.

"I love Ritsuka but I do not wish to have sex with him," Soubi continued thoughtfully, as if Ritsuka was not struggling to get out from beneath him. "And so there is no sensuality to hasten this love - or to weaken it." Ritsuka stilled. Soubi smiled down at him. "Does Ritsuka wish to have sex with me?"

"No!" Ritsuka snapped, blushing furiously.

"Good," Soubi murmured, his tone pleased. "Then when Ritsuka does want to have sex with me..." Ritsuka stared up at him, wide eyed, as Soubi slowly bent his head down to his. So close, that as Soubi spoke his last words, Ritsuka could feel his lips flutter against his. "The roots will be so strong and deep, no-one will be able to tear them out."



This time, when Ritsuka shoved him away, Soubi moved back and let him go. Ritsuka snatched up his bag and fled.

That Soubi. Damn him. Why does he always...




His cell phone trilled just as he was getting into bed.

Ritsuka paused, half holding the bed covers up, and eyed it warily.

At last it was the feeling that he would be being silly if he refused to answer it that nudged him into dropping the bed covers and leaning across to pick it up.

The text message scrolled across the screen.

The most chaste phrase I have ever heard: "Dans le veritable amour c'est l'ame qui enveloppe le corps"

He blinked in confusion until he recognised it as a Nietzsche quote. And then in more confusion.

"Soubi... I don't understand."






(trans: In true love it is the soul that encompasses the body.)