- ...You know I love you right?
That was just unbearably hot and... melts into a puddle of goo Lee, you naughty boy! XD (Of course, this is coming from someone who was chanting "molest him, molest him!" during the story, but...)
I think "form and precise" is suppose to be "firm and precise", but other than that, great job! :D
- Loved the visuals on this one. Incredibly easy to imagine Lee acting as you described. The tan-line free body image was especially electrifying. The only thing I had trouble with was the position of Gaara outside the window. Was he crouching, across the street, in a bush? Not a major thing. The focus stays on Lee's ritual and that grabs the reader's attention. As for the narrative, got right to the point, stayed on task and left us hungering for more--the best kind of short story. Keep writing!
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