Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I Will Always B the 1
Chapter 5:
As if being left in the room with Patrick wasn't akward enough I also had 5 other pairs of eyes watching my every move. I moved over to the glass window looking into Payton's room as Patrick had walked away and was now talking to 2 of the people in the group I didn't recognize: the woman and the bald tall security looking man.
The other 3 members of Fall Out Boy hung out near the chairs whispering amongst themselves and shooting me looks every now and then. I didn't even know why they were here. I mean I got the fact they they were in the band together and all that but I didn't realize they were so close they had to be here for this.
I guess maybe for moral support or something.
Who knows?
I was too busy in my thoughts of why they were here and my observing Payton to notice that the 2 strangers had walked over to me. The man cleared his throat and I looked behind me to see them standing there. I suddenly tensed up at the nearness, he took notice and took a step back before speaking.
"I didn't mean to startle you." I shook my head for him to continue and he did.
"I'm Bob the guys manager and this is our lawyer and PR person Vivian Thomas." He extended his hand to me and I shook it doing the same to the woman.
"I'm Andrea Sanchez" Bob nodded and smiled at me. The woman did too but her smile wasn't a real one. She spoke up next
"We just want to talk to you about a few things Ms. Sanchez." Vivian said in a almost harsh profesional tone.
"Please call me Andrea" I said taking a seat and motioning for them to do the same. They sat and Bob rubbing his hands together leaned foward and spoke looking me dirrectly in the eyes.
"Well basically we just want to make sure that this matter until it is resolved stays outside of the press and publics knowledge. Until we find out what's going on and we are able to make a statement to the press,"
This matter? Is this supposed to be a joke? I squeezed back my anger
"Excuse me?" I said with more anger in my tone than I would have liked. At this time Patrick and the guys had walked up and were standing nearby observing the conversation.
"What Bob means is," Vivian started, "we would like you to sign a confedentiality agreement so that we can be assured you won't-"
That is when I had heard enough, stood up from my seat and spoke.
"Look I'm only going to say this once." I said as I looked between Vivian, Bob, and the guys.
"The last thing I need are a bunch of crazy pre teen groupies or paparazzi hanging around my place of work trying to get a glimpse of my dying daughter all because she just happens to share DNA with as you would like to believe 'Flavor of the Month'. I've lived 2 years without this being a problem and the last thing I need now when she's this sick is for her world to become some kind of zoo just because he's in her life. I didn't want this. I didn't want any of this. This is why I stayed away." I was mid rant when Bob stood up and held his hands up.
"Look Andrea we are sorry for offending you, we know this is a hard time for you, we couldn't even imagine what you have gone through and what you are experiencing right now. But understand that we are just trying to protect the guys."
"And you understand that I am trying to keep my daughter alive. That's all that matters to me. Now if you'll excuse me..." I said as I made my way towards the door that led to Payton's room. I had to walk by the guys and they parted like the Red Sea to let me by.
Patrick stood to my left and I caught a glimpse of his face. He was visibly upset. His jaw was clenced and his body tensed as I neared. I just kept walking untill I was safely behind the door of my daughters room. I walked over to the now fully awake baby girl and smiled at her.
Her little eyes lit up with joy as she watched me walk closer to her she immidiatly leaned over to the side of the bed where I was standing she tossed the bottle she held aside and held her hands up for me to pick her up. I did as she commanded and scooped her up careful not to pull any of the chords attached to her.
"How's mami's girl doing?" Payton giggle and mumbled a few words before picking her bottle up and placing it in her mouth.
I laid her down gently and watched as she relaxed and began tracing patterns on the bedspread with her right hand while her left held up her bottle. It was only a few seconds later when our peaceful moment was disturbed as Robert Paytons Doctor, Dr. Trohman, shannon the nurse for this floor and Patrick walked in the room. Payton had since discarded her bottle and now looked curiously at the newcomers in the room. Her eyes landed on Patrick and she studied him for a second. He walked until he was about five feet away from us in the corner.
Patrick looked up and caught Payton's eyes. He froze and his face lit up as he looked at her. A smile tugging at the corners of his lips and I could have sworn he fell in love with her right then and there. Shannon grabbed Payton breaking her trance with Patrick and placed her near the headboard where Dr Trohman and Robert had set up.
Payton sat patiently as she waited to see what these people wanted to do with her. This is the part I hated, this always killed me to watch because she never expected it. I brushed Payton's hair from her face as Dr. Trohman stuck the needle in her little arm. I cringed and she twitched and began to whine. I tried my best to soothe her whispering comforting words But she just cried and it broke my heart.
She sounded exausted.
The same way a person sounds after they've cried for 3 days straight. She wiggled in the grasp of the nurse who was attemptting to hold her arm steady for Doctor Trohman. I just cringed as he stuck the needle in her little arm again and she gave out a final screech of pain. Tears fell out of my eyes before I even knew what was happening and a sob escaped my lips.
My daughter looked up at me with accusing eyes. Eyes that screamed 'why are you letting them do this to me?' Rob who stood across from me next to Dr. Trohman noticed my outburst and walked over to me putting a comforting hand on mine that was tightly cluching the side of the hospital bed where my daughter sat in pain.
Patrick stood in the corner of the room with a pale face as he watched the torture that Payton was submitted to. Her cries of pain were mirrored on his face and with every tear that fell from her eyes his face grew a little pailer and his eyes clouded over a little more with greif.
I looked back at my daughter who as soon as her arm was released crawled over to me and cried into me while her little hands gripped my scrubs. I scooped her up and cried silently with her as I whispered my apologies into her hair.
I was sorry.
I was so so sorry.
For being a coward...for not telling him sooner. For letting this moment be 100 times worse because of my fears. I could feel him watching us. His eyes were sad I don't know how I knew but I did. I could feel them burn into me but I didn't care about his sadness because at that moment my Maternal instincts wouldn't let me feel sorry for him.
Its his fault she was crying now and that's all that mattered to me.
Dr. Trohman finished his clean up and walked over to Patrick whispering something to him as he was escorted out the door by Rob and Shannon. Patrick lingered in the room only for a moment wanting to say something, anything, that would bring comfort and erase the hurt from both Payton and I.
Instead he opend and closed his mouth a couple of times. Words coming up short of his toungue and he instead shook his head and walked out the door. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding when I heard the door slowly click signaling his retreat and I looked down at Payton who was now crying in my arms. I leaned over and picked up her pacifier and gave it to her which caused her crying to slow to just moans and silent tears.
15 minutes later she was asleep and I placed her down on the bed and tucked her in before going to the rocking chair next to her bed and falling into it.
My head fell into my hands and I just cried.
It was 3 and a half hours later when Rob opened the door to the room and motioned for me to walk out.
I met him outside along with Dr. Trohman and Patrick who was pacing with a slight limp due to the marrow sample they took from his hip. But when he saw me come out he stopped and just stared. I walked and stood besided Patrick who now was stationary but had taken to rubbing his hands together nervously.
Dr. Trohman and Robert stood opposite Patrick and I and we just stared at each other for a second before Dr. Trohman spoke up.
"I'm afraid that the DNA test came up inconclusive."
It seemed that my heart dropped to my feet and I looked to see Patrick's face contort in confusion.
"Inconclusive? What does that mean? Does it mean she's not mine? I mean-" at this Dr. Trohman shook his head.
"No Patrick it just means that there was something wrong with the blood. It happens sometimes when patients are exposed to high levels of radiation and chemo sometimes even antibiotics. Pretty much it taints the blood enough for it to not show its original characterestics and we can't make a clean comparison."
"So we have to do it all again?" Patrick asked softly.
At this I got light headed.
More needles.
More blood.
More pain.
My poor baby.
"Actually when we compared your blood type and marrow with Payton's it was a perfect match. We don't have to run that test again but we do need another blood sample from you and Payton to run the DNA test." Rob added looking at Patrick.
He nodded then Rob and Dr. Trohman went off to get the things set up for more blood removal.
I walked numbly across the waiting room and into Payton's room. She was sleeping still. I think this is the most she's slept in days. I pushed the hair out of her eyes carefully and smiled at the little angel laying there.
She was so oblivious to what was going on.
So innocent.
I heard the door open and again Dr. Trohman, Robert, Shannon, Patrick and Pete walked in. Pete seemed to be Patrick's current crutch. He was leaning on his friend for support. Pete whispered something to a pale drained looking Patrcik he shut his eyes and nodded and looked on. I looked back to see Shannon put the tourniquet on Payton and I watched as Dr. Trohman inserted the needle which caused Payton to stir and the needle to miss her vein.
Dr. Trohman frowned as her little arm instantly began to bruise and I began to hyperventelate. He tried one more time, inserting the needle again missing, causing Payton let out a cry and I freaked out.
"That's enough." I whispered but it seemed to have been lost in the sounds of the room.
No one heard me except Patrick who just looked at me. Dr. Trohman was about to insert the needle a fourth time when I finally lost it completly. Payton was in agonizing tears by now and with each of her cries it felt like I knife sunk deeper into my heart.
"I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH! EVERYONE OUT. GET OUT!" I walked up to where Dr. Trohman was and pushed his hands away standing in between my daughter and his hands protectively.
He began to protest saying something about blood and DNA and I just wasn't listening. I just wanted them out. I wanted them to stop hurting my baby.
"She's been through enough. I- I just can't watch her hurt anymore. No more needles. No more blood. She's had enough she only 16 months. She shouldn't go through this. No more pain. She's too young." I was mumbling crazily. I knew they must have thought I was going insane maybe I was. Patrick walked up to me then
"Andrea I HAVE to know." His eyes were so sad. He looked so lost. He looked just like she did and this just made me loose it even more.
"I said its ENOUGH. No more needles. No more blood. No more hurting my baby intentionally. Look at her Patrick!" I moved out of his way and he finally laid eyes on MY daughter.
She was still crying.
The bruise in her arms, her face, her sweet little face now filled with pain and hurt. The way she sounded like she was dying on the inside. She was hurting and this made his heart feel a pain unlike one he's never felt before. He wanted to take her pain away.
He would sell his soul remove his heart right now and hand it to her. He would stop breathing if it meant she could take one more breath. He closed his eyes and started to cry. His sobs mirroing Payton's. They even cried the same. It hurt me. It hurt me so much he didn't see, he didn't believe this little angel was his. How could he even doubt it. Only a fool couldn't see. They were carnon copies.
"If this is what it takes to get you to donate then I'm sorry. Her pain is much too high a cost. We don't need you. You aren't worth it and you don't even deserve her if your willing to hurt her just to prove something to someone else. This test isn't to prove to yourself she's yours. Its to prove it to them." I pointed towards Pete's direction.
"Well find another way. I'll figuere something out. Get out we don't need you."
Patrick cried harder he didn't know what to say, my words cut deep into his conscience, the words stung. He didn't deserve his daughter. He was the cause of her pain. And all just to prove to Pete, to prove to Alicia. He knew. He knew for the first time he saw her picture.
Hell even his mom knew.
Then meeting her.
When her eyes met with his, his insides burned with a feeling he's never felt before. She was his and he couldn't deny it to himself anymore. Those eyes. Those eyes just like his.
He looked me in the eyes through his tears and then lowered his head and walked out in defeat with Pete whispering harshly to him and Dr. Trohman trailing behind with Shannon.
Robert put a comforting hand on my shoulders and I just let out a sob. This was all just so much for me to get a grasp on.
I told Robert I would like to be alone with my daughter and he hugged me before walking out and shutting the door behind him. I walked over to my baby girl and I picked her up pressed play on the CD player next to her bed and sat in the rocking chair as I held her.
I held her like it was the last time I would and I just rocked us both. I don't know who this comforted more Payton or me but it felt good. She wouldn't hurt anymore not for me not for Patrick not for anyone. I would make sure of that.
@@@@
A/N
Hey look at that! 2 in 24 hours. Woo me. Umm ok I know this ones a bit long but I had a point to make and it just wouldn't come out so it turned out longer than I expected. Also I might have chapter 6 up later on today if I finish with the tweaks I'm trying to add. Once again don't mind my spelling errors and grammar. I am completly lost without spell check but I'm writing with a sidekick and using Kai bon Jovi as spell check isn't always perfect so yea. Let me know wacha think
Besos
Kay
As if being left in the room with Patrick wasn't akward enough I also had 5 other pairs of eyes watching my every move. I moved over to the glass window looking into Payton's room as Patrick had walked away and was now talking to 2 of the people in the group I didn't recognize: the woman and the bald tall security looking man.
The other 3 members of Fall Out Boy hung out near the chairs whispering amongst themselves and shooting me looks every now and then. I didn't even know why they were here. I mean I got the fact they they were in the band together and all that but I didn't realize they were so close they had to be here for this.
I guess maybe for moral support or something.
Who knows?
I was too busy in my thoughts of why they were here and my observing Payton to notice that the 2 strangers had walked over to me. The man cleared his throat and I looked behind me to see them standing there. I suddenly tensed up at the nearness, he took notice and took a step back before speaking.
"I didn't mean to startle you." I shook my head for him to continue and he did.
"I'm Bob the guys manager and this is our lawyer and PR person Vivian Thomas." He extended his hand to me and I shook it doing the same to the woman.
"I'm Andrea Sanchez" Bob nodded and smiled at me. The woman did too but her smile wasn't a real one. She spoke up next
"We just want to talk to you about a few things Ms. Sanchez." Vivian said in a almost harsh profesional tone.
"Please call me Andrea" I said taking a seat and motioning for them to do the same. They sat and Bob rubbing his hands together leaned foward and spoke looking me dirrectly in the eyes.
"Well basically we just want to make sure that this matter until it is resolved stays outside of the press and publics knowledge. Until we find out what's going on and we are able to make a statement to the press,"
This matter? Is this supposed to be a joke? I squeezed back my anger
"Excuse me?" I said with more anger in my tone than I would have liked. At this time Patrick and the guys had walked up and were standing nearby observing the conversation.
"What Bob means is," Vivian started, "we would like you to sign a confedentiality agreement so that we can be assured you won't-"
That is when I had heard enough, stood up from my seat and spoke.
"Look I'm only going to say this once." I said as I looked between Vivian, Bob, and the guys.
"The last thing I need are a bunch of crazy pre teen groupies or paparazzi hanging around my place of work trying to get a glimpse of my dying daughter all because she just happens to share DNA with as you would like to believe 'Flavor of the Month'. I've lived 2 years without this being a problem and the last thing I need now when she's this sick is for her world to become some kind of zoo just because he's in her life. I didn't want this. I didn't want any of this. This is why I stayed away." I was mid rant when Bob stood up and held his hands up.
"Look Andrea we are sorry for offending you, we know this is a hard time for you, we couldn't even imagine what you have gone through and what you are experiencing right now. But understand that we are just trying to protect the guys."
"And you understand that I am trying to keep my daughter alive. That's all that matters to me. Now if you'll excuse me..." I said as I made my way towards the door that led to Payton's room. I had to walk by the guys and they parted like the Red Sea to let me by.
Patrick stood to my left and I caught a glimpse of his face. He was visibly upset. His jaw was clenced and his body tensed as I neared. I just kept walking untill I was safely behind the door of my daughters room. I walked over to the now fully awake baby girl and smiled at her.
Her little eyes lit up with joy as she watched me walk closer to her she immidiatly leaned over to the side of the bed where I was standing she tossed the bottle she held aside and held her hands up for me to pick her up. I did as she commanded and scooped her up careful not to pull any of the chords attached to her.
"How's mami's girl doing?" Payton giggle and mumbled a few words before picking her bottle up and placing it in her mouth.
I laid her down gently and watched as she relaxed and began tracing patterns on the bedspread with her right hand while her left held up her bottle. It was only a few seconds later when our peaceful moment was disturbed as Robert Paytons Doctor, Dr. Trohman, shannon the nurse for this floor and Patrick walked in the room. Payton had since discarded her bottle and now looked curiously at the newcomers in the room. Her eyes landed on Patrick and she studied him for a second. He walked until he was about five feet away from us in the corner.
Patrick looked up and caught Payton's eyes. He froze and his face lit up as he looked at her. A smile tugging at the corners of his lips and I could have sworn he fell in love with her right then and there. Shannon grabbed Payton breaking her trance with Patrick and placed her near the headboard where Dr Trohman and Robert had set up.
Payton sat patiently as she waited to see what these people wanted to do with her. This is the part I hated, this always killed me to watch because she never expected it. I brushed Payton's hair from her face as Dr. Trohman stuck the needle in her little arm. I cringed and she twitched and began to whine. I tried my best to soothe her whispering comforting words But she just cried and it broke my heart.
She sounded exausted.
The same way a person sounds after they've cried for 3 days straight. She wiggled in the grasp of the nurse who was attemptting to hold her arm steady for Doctor Trohman. I just cringed as he stuck the needle in her little arm again and she gave out a final screech of pain. Tears fell out of my eyes before I even knew what was happening and a sob escaped my lips.
My daughter looked up at me with accusing eyes. Eyes that screamed 'why are you letting them do this to me?' Rob who stood across from me next to Dr. Trohman noticed my outburst and walked over to me putting a comforting hand on mine that was tightly cluching the side of the hospital bed where my daughter sat in pain.
Patrick stood in the corner of the room with a pale face as he watched the torture that Payton was submitted to. Her cries of pain were mirrored on his face and with every tear that fell from her eyes his face grew a little pailer and his eyes clouded over a little more with greif.
I looked back at my daughter who as soon as her arm was released crawled over to me and cried into me while her little hands gripped my scrubs. I scooped her up and cried silently with her as I whispered my apologies into her hair.
I was sorry.
I was so so sorry.
For being a coward...for not telling him sooner. For letting this moment be 100 times worse because of my fears. I could feel him watching us. His eyes were sad I don't know how I knew but I did. I could feel them burn into me but I didn't care about his sadness because at that moment my Maternal instincts wouldn't let me feel sorry for him.
Its his fault she was crying now and that's all that mattered to me.
Dr. Trohman finished his clean up and walked over to Patrick whispering something to him as he was escorted out the door by Rob and Shannon. Patrick lingered in the room only for a moment wanting to say something, anything, that would bring comfort and erase the hurt from both Payton and I.
Instead he opend and closed his mouth a couple of times. Words coming up short of his toungue and he instead shook his head and walked out the door. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding when I heard the door slowly click signaling his retreat and I looked down at Payton who was now crying in my arms. I leaned over and picked up her pacifier and gave it to her which caused her crying to slow to just moans and silent tears.
15 minutes later she was asleep and I placed her down on the bed and tucked her in before going to the rocking chair next to her bed and falling into it.
My head fell into my hands and I just cried.
It was 3 and a half hours later when Rob opened the door to the room and motioned for me to walk out.
I met him outside along with Dr. Trohman and Patrick who was pacing with a slight limp due to the marrow sample they took from his hip. But when he saw me come out he stopped and just stared. I walked and stood besided Patrick who now was stationary but had taken to rubbing his hands together nervously.
Dr. Trohman and Robert stood opposite Patrick and I and we just stared at each other for a second before Dr. Trohman spoke up.
"I'm afraid that the DNA test came up inconclusive."
It seemed that my heart dropped to my feet and I looked to see Patrick's face contort in confusion.
"Inconclusive? What does that mean? Does it mean she's not mine? I mean-" at this Dr. Trohman shook his head.
"No Patrick it just means that there was something wrong with the blood. It happens sometimes when patients are exposed to high levels of radiation and chemo sometimes even antibiotics. Pretty much it taints the blood enough for it to not show its original characterestics and we can't make a clean comparison."
"So we have to do it all again?" Patrick asked softly.
At this I got light headed.
More needles.
More blood.
More pain.
My poor baby.
"Actually when we compared your blood type and marrow with Payton's it was a perfect match. We don't have to run that test again but we do need another blood sample from you and Payton to run the DNA test." Rob added looking at Patrick.
He nodded then Rob and Dr. Trohman went off to get the things set up for more blood removal.
I walked numbly across the waiting room and into Payton's room. She was sleeping still. I think this is the most she's slept in days. I pushed the hair out of her eyes carefully and smiled at the little angel laying there.
She was so oblivious to what was going on.
So innocent.
I heard the door open and again Dr. Trohman, Robert, Shannon, Patrick and Pete walked in. Pete seemed to be Patrick's current crutch. He was leaning on his friend for support. Pete whispered something to a pale drained looking Patrcik he shut his eyes and nodded and looked on. I looked back to see Shannon put the tourniquet on Payton and I watched as Dr. Trohman inserted the needle which caused Payton to stir and the needle to miss her vein.
Dr. Trohman frowned as her little arm instantly began to bruise and I began to hyperventelate. He tried one more time, inserting the needle again missing, causing Payton let out a cry and I freaked out.
"That's enough." I whispered but it seemed to have been lost in the sounds of the room.
No one heard me except Patrick who just looked at me. Dr. Trohman was about to insert the needle a fourth time when I finally lost it completly. Payton was in agonizing tears by now and with each of her cries it felt like I knife sunk deeper into my heart.
"I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH! EVERYONE OUT. GET OUT!" I walked up to where Dr. Trohman was and pushed his hands away standing in between my daughter and his hands protectively.
He began to protest saying something about blood and DNA and I just wasn't listening. I just wanted them out. I wanted them to stop hurting my baby.
"She's been through enough. I- I just can't watch her hurt anymore. No more needles. No more blood. She's had enough she only 16 months. She shouldn't go through this. No more pain. She's too young." I was mumbling crazily. I knew they must have thought I was going insane maybe I was. Patrick walked up to me then
"Andrea I HAVE to know." His eyes were so sad. He looked so lost. He looked just like she did and this just made me loose it even more.
"I said its ENOUGH. No more needles. No more blood. No more hurting my baby intentionally. Look at her Patrick!" I moved out of his way and he finally laid eyes on MY daughter.
She was still crying.
The bruise in her arms, her face, her sweet little face now filled with pain and hurt. The way she sounded like she was dying on the inside. She was hurting and this made his heart feel a pain unlike one he's never felt before. He wanted to take her pain away.
He would sell his soul remove his heart right now and hand it to her. He would stop breathing if it meant she could take one more breath. He closed his eyes and started to cry. His sobs mirroing Payton's. They even cried the same. It hurt me. It hurt me so much he didn't see, he didn't believe this little angel was his. How could he even doubt it. Only a fool couldn't see. They were carnon copies.
"If this is what it takes to get you to donate then I'm sorry. Her pain is much too high a cost. We don't need you. You aren't worth it and you don't even deserve her if your willing to hurt her just to prove something to someone else. This test isn't to prove to yourself she's yours. Its to prove it to them." I pointed towards Pete's direction.
"Well find another way. I'll figuere something out. Get out we don't need you."
Patrick cried harder he didn't know what to say, my words cut deep into his conscience, the words stung. He didn't deserve his daughter. He was the cause of her pain. And all just to prove to Pete, to prove to Alicia. He knew. He knew for the first time he saw her picture.
Hell even his mom knew.
Then meeting her.
When her eyes met with his, his insides burned with a feeling he's never felt before. She was his and he couldn't deny it to himself anymore. Those eyes. Those eyes just like his.
He looked me in the eyes through his tears and then lowered his head and walked out in defeat with Pete whispering harshly to him and Dr. Trohman trailing behind with Shannon.
Robert put a comforting hand on my shoulders and I just let out a sob. This was all just so much for me to get a grasp on.
I told Robert I would like to be alone with my daughter and he hugged me before walking out and shutting the door behind him. I walked over to my baby girl and I picked her up pressed play on the CD player next to her bed and sat in the rocking chair as I held her.
I held her like it was the last time I would and I just rocked us both. I don't know who this comforted more Payton or me but it felt good. She wouldn't hurt anymore not for me not for Patrick not for anyone. I would make sure of that.
@@@@
A/N
Hey look at that! 2 in 24 hours. Woo me. Umm ok I know this ones a bit long but I had a point to make and it just wouldn't come out so it turned out longer than I expected. Also I might have chapter 6 up later on today if I finish with the tweaks I'm trying to add. Once again don't mind my spelling errors and grammar. I am completly lost without spell check but I'm writing with a sidekick and using Kai bon Jovi as spell check isn't always perfect so yea. Let me know wacha think
Besos
Kay
Sign up to rate and review this story